SATOKO
by Your Idiot Writer
Summary: Being a ninja isn't as cool as one might think. It generally involves a lot of horrified screaming and praying for your life to a bunch of gods you've never even heard of. I'm so not ready to be the protagonist of a shonen manga - especially not one that revolves around me getting hurt. A lot. [SI OC replaces Naruto. AU. T for swears & standard ninja violence.]
1. Uzumaki Satoko

**Author's Note** : This story currently has ten chapters written and will be uploaded periodically. Like, weekly or bi-weekly, maybe? Idk yet.

* * *

It was a day like any other. My alarm woke me up, I turned off my alarm, fell back asleep, and then slept through my exam review, because apparently getting up before noon is impossible for me. I spent the rest of the day sitting in front of my computer, drawing sketches of my dumb OCs instead of preparing for finals and surviving off chips and soda, because it was cold outside and I didn't want to take the one-block trip to the grocery store. At 1AM, I realized Ihadn't even started my philosophy essay yet. Hell, I hadn't even done all my readings. So, of course I decided that the best thing to do with my time was to absently scroll down my infinite dashboard with cute animal videos and art that's too good to be true.

During said endless scrolling, one of those writing prompts came up.

 _Imagine that you show up in your favorite series' universe, only for the main character to be missing. You ask the other characters about it, but they have never even heard of the main character. You soon realize that you're supposed to play their role in the story/series…_

I can't remember exactly who posted it or what the exact words were, but that was the gist of it, and I thought the idea was pretty cool.

Until it _actually_ _happened._

When I realized I was running, I didn't think much of it at first. I had a lot of dreams where I was running to or from something. Except, normally, when I run in dreams, it feels like I'm wading through water. This time, however, it actually felt like I was running. My feet pushed off the ground instead of sliding around like that stupid QWOP game that I _still_ can't beat, and my lungs were starting to burn for air.

I thought that maybe, finally, I was lucid dreaming, which got me excited, but then I remembered that one of the things about lucid dreaming is that if you get too excited, you might wake up, so I immediately diverted my attention to the spectacularly plain, dirt road that I was currently running on. From there, I began to take in my surroundings, and the more I saw, the more I realized that maybe this wasn't a lucid dream after all.

The buildings were mostly made of wood and metal – hardly any concrete, or none that I could tell. There were no cars or paved roads, or anything else that made this place look remotely like the downtown area of a big city. What stood out the most, however, was the giant carvings in the side of the mountain that loomed over the entire place.

 _Oh, no._

My focus went from the giant heads to the tinier ones – ones that were actually attached to bodies – that were chasing me down the dirt road. Headbands glistened in the sunlight, which only further confirmed the dreaded truth that I was facing.

The realization fell upon me like a barrel of moist bread, because that's how incredibly gross I felt when I registered what was going on.

 _Please don't tell me I just landed my sorry ass into a manga series._

"Stop!"

 _And to make matters worse…_

I decided to let myself grasp at the microscopic sliver of hope that maybe, _just maybe_ , I wasn't completely right about my current predicament.

"You're not going to get away with this anymore!"

 _I can't believe this actually happens._

At that point, I realized just how fast I was running. All the adrenaline from thinking this was a lucid dream, to realizing where I was, to realizing that I was being chased – it almost made me forget how pathetically unfit I was. Once I remembered, though, it wasn't long before my body responded by appropriately collapsing into heaving fits. It was a good thing I had a strong stomach, or I might have thrown up just then.

"What do you think you're doing during class?!"

The familiar voice of one Umino Iruka rang in my ears, which really didn't help with the whole Look-I-Just-Ran-What-Felt-Like-A-Marathon-Can-You-Please-Just-Chill thing. It also tore away any hope I had of all this _not_ being my absolute worst nightmare-that-was-actually-my-current-reality.

 _I guess that's that, then. I really am-_

"Satoko!"

 _…_ _Okay, not the name I was going for, but I guess that sounds enough like… like…_

It's been a long time since I've felt true terror.

 _Shit._

Whatever the chuunin was yelling about, it was going in one ear and right out the other, because whatever the name of the actual main character of this series was… I couldn't remember it.

 _And I've written fanfiction about these dumb ninjas, too._

"I'm taking you back to class right now!"

I couldn't reply, mostly because I was too busy internally screaming at the fact that I was now the main character of some huge manga franchise about ninjas, but also because I'm a _terrible_ runner and I will never ever catch my breath again, ever.

 _Geez, I'm not even gonna last until tomorrow at this rate. Worst. Protagonist. Ever._

"Oi, Satoko! You'd better be listening!" Iruka yelled, and I glanced up just enough to acknowledge his presence.

 _Satoko… Satoko… Where've I heard that- oh, right. Isn't that the chick from Higurashi?_

"Don't think you won't get punished for this!"

After recovering enough to straighten up, I finally managed to say something, albeit between deep breaths because shit I am _so unfit for this job_.

"I wanna go home."

Iruka fell silent, but I could feel the rage boiling within him, and _damn_ , those crazy manga-anime effects were not exaggerating when it came to his anger.

"What makes you think I'll let you go home after this?! I'm not letting you off that easy today!"

 _Dear Original Main Character: heck you for being the most annoying little shit ever._

I don't know why I thought being unfit was going to be the worst of my problems.

I was in a world full of ninjas. And you know what's in a world of ninjas?

Chakra.

And you know what ninjas use?

 _Chakra._

And you know what I had no _fracking_ clue how to use?

 ** _CHAKRA_** _._

"Time for a review test on the Transformation Technique!" Iruka shouted as the entire class protested at once. "Transform perfectly into me!"

I was officially fucked in more ways than you can cook a potato.

As the students lined up at the front of the class, I did my best to ignore the scowls coming my way. Honestly, of all the protagonists I had to be, it was that one orphaned kid that was hated by the entire village.

 _Well, at least I'm not attacking titans, I guess._

If that were the case, I would actually literally die the first day on the job.

"Uzumaki Satoko!" Iruka yelled, and I held my breath.

"This is all your fault," the student behind me muttered, but I was too busy trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to get myself through the situation to acknowledge them.

 _Alrighty, here we go – what did Sakura say during the tree-climbing exercise about chakra? Something about physical and spiritual energy or something…_

Honestly, all I could remember was that damned abridged series and the damned abridged explanation of the whole deal, which wasn't helping me at all.

"Sa-to-ko!" Iruka shouted again. "We don't have all day!"

"Y…Yes, sir." I sighed and dragged myself forward.

I took a moment to remember what the hand seal looked like and at least tried to look like I knew what I was doing when I brought my hands together.

 _Oh my god._

The sheer ridiculousness and obscurity of this entire situation sunk in completely right at that moment.

 _I can't believe I'm_ seriously _making a hand seal in a_ totallyserious _attempt at freaking ninjutsu. My weebness has officially reached maximum velocity. There's no way I can be any more of a weaboo than I am at this_ very moment _in time and space. Are you proud of me now, mother?_

Speaking of my mother, I still haven't gotten around to contemplating what the hell was going to happen now that I was _here_ and not _there_. You know, in the real world. Where I _belonged._

"Satoko…" Iruka's voice was a low growl this time and the rage was slowly beginning to return.

"Right!" I answered quickly and widen my stance. "Right. Transformation Technique. No problem."

I took a deep breath and cleared my head of all distracting thoughts. Contemplating what lies ahead can wait until later, I decided. At that moment, I made myself focus on the chuunin's appearance and what I really hope was chakra and not nervous gas. That wasn't supposed to happen until the Chuunin Exams.

A few moments of silence passed. Other than the feeling of every pair of eyes focused on me, I felt nothing.

"What an idiot," a student whispered, "she can't even perform such a basic technique!"

I couldn't stay true to the level of athleticism that the original main character (who, from this point on, shall be referred to as Protagonist) had, but at least I was staying true to his idiocy, even if it wasn't exactly intentional. Actually, it might be even worse.

"Satoko!" Iruka bellowed. I was starting to get tired of hearing that name. "Even you should be able to perform this technique by now! I've seen you do it before!"

"Well, it's been a long day…" I answered meekly.

The chuunin fumed silently, but this time, he swallowed his rage and sighed deeply.

"Forget it, I'll deal with you later." He said and addressed the rest of the class. "That's it for today, class dismissed!"

Even if I knew how to get home, I wouldn't have been able to leave because once the students were scurrying to grab their things and leave, Iruka grabbed my shoulder. To be honest, I wasn't surprised.

"Not you, though!"

I was really tired, though, and I needed some proper time to take in this new reality, so I really just wanted to get away from any of the actual cast for a while.

"C'mon, Iruka-sensei." I groaned, hoping to play into the sympathetic side of his character. "I promise I'll train once I get home!"

If there was one thing about me that might help me survive this world, it was that I was a pretty fast learner. Being a hobbyist dancer and a musician, muscle memory was one of the few things I could take pride in.

"I'm sure you will," he smiled, and I was naïve enough to let myself get tricked by the brief warmth he displayed before his glowering returned, "but not until you clean up the Hokage Monument!"

 _Ah, shit. I forgot about that._

As tedious as it was, at least washing off the graffiti gave me some time to think. There was so much to think about, though, it was hard to figure out where to start. I decided that going over the basics was probably the best way to go about this whole thing.

 _Okay. So, I'm in the Protagonist-verse, and I've appeared to have replaced Protagonist, which is probably why I can't remember his name anymore._

I could remember everything else about him, though – his backstory, his role, his personality, and his end game – everything but his name, which I suppose made sense. If I was the main character, and this world was actually a franchise, then it would probably be known as _Satoko_ in the real world.

 _Since I'm the main character now, I can't back out that easily, either… Besides, maybe if I stick around long enough, I can find a way back to my world. Until then, though, I'll have to take on Protagonist's role._ I scowled to myself, though Iruka probably thought it was because I was upset about having to clean up the mess. _Stupid prompt._

Which led me to my next train of thought.

 _If I'm supposed to play the role of the main character, does that mean I have to be as obnoxious and as big of a moron as Protagonist was?_ I supposed that was the best way to make sure the story played out as it should, but… _I don't really wanna end up being stabbed by dozens of needles…or fight Gaara…or lose an arm…_

I frowned and nearly shuddered at the thought.

 _Being a main character is way too much work, and I don't think I have the energy or the pain tolerance –especially the pain tolerance, oh god – to live up to proper Main Character standards._

Despite that, my best bet was probably to act close enough to how Protagonist was. It was trickling in little by little, but small snippets of his memories were becoming my own. It was helping me understand the way he acted and what his reasons were for acting that way, but it wasn't like my own personality was going to make a sudden one-eighty.

Besides, keeping up Protagonist's energetic character was going to be hard to maintain. It would be easier to slowly shift his character to my own personality. Maybe if I just made the same decisions as him, but with a little less yelling, it would be okay. Itt was mostly about getting through to people while using my backstory as a weapon of empathy, anyway. I usually didn't agree with this mindset, but in this case, it was all about the ends.

 _At least I have the Power of Friendship on my side. Now it's just a matter of being able to use it._ I frowned. _Yeah, okay, that's probably doable. I've made fun of its redundancy enough to know how it goes._

Too bad it never worked on Sasuke. Which reminded me of another cruel fact.

 _I'm the one who has to deal with that motherfucker._

Don't get me wrong, though. By the end of the series, I could've written an entire essay about why Sasuke ended up being one of my favourite characters. It's all about looking underneath the underneath (hah), but it still doesn't change the fact that throughout the entire series, he was always trying to kill _somebody_ , and I wrote that one crack-fic about Kakashi being fed up with dealing with Sasuke's (and everybody else's) shit because I could only imagine how tiring it was to actually be involved.

 _Well, I won't have to imagine for much longer._

For anybody out there who thinks it would be super cool to be a main character – you're wrong, you've always been wrong, and you'll always _be_ wrong.

After spending way too much time contemplating all the future agony I would probably have to endure and miraculously survive, I tried to focus on the bright side of things, like getting to meet my favourite characters.

 _Even though a lot of them are the ones who are gonna try to kill me…_

Damn it. That's not the only pro, though. Everybody dreams of being able to change the storyline as they see fit, right?

I wondered how much I had to stay true to the canon universe. One thing I liked to do while writing fanfiction was being able to give more credit and attention to the characters who I thought never got enough. The idea of making a few changes was appealing, like making Sakura even just a tad bit less of a shrieking fangirl in the first part. Hell, maybe I could even befriend her somehow.

 _With a female lead, say goodbye to the obligatory love triangle._

Well, actually, that's not completely true, but I wasn't worried about getting a crush on the twelve-year-old Sakura. I could wait the two-and-a-half years before possibly falling head over heels for her flawless glory.

 _And I guess there could still be a love triangle if Sasuke ended up crushing on me…_

I stopped cleaning the monument and coughed – loudly – to cover my snort.

 _Oh, man, I_ really _hope me being here instead of Protagonist didn't mess up the universe_ that _bad._

On the topic of relationships, though…

 _…_ _What about Hinata?_

My brow furrowed at the realization that Hinata's entire motivation was basically gone now that Protagonist was replaced by a girl. Unless Hinata wasn't a heterosexual, or unless I could still somehow manage to get her to admire me by giving it my all, or whatever it was Protagonist did to catch her attention.

 _Shit, now the pressure's_ really _on._

I liked Hinata's character, and I didn't wanna end up messing it up… along with literally everything else that pertains to the canon storyline.

"I won't let you go home until you clean all of it." Iruka said, pulling me away from my thoughts.

Whatever expression I was wearing, it probably made him interpret is as annoyance, which technically wouldn't make him wrong.

 _What was it that Protagonist said that got him free food?_

After all the internal panic I was experiencing, I didn't realize how hungry I was until now.

"It doesn't matter. It's not like I have anyone to go home to," I muttered, because I was pretty sure it was something along those lines.

I scoffed and went back to scrubbing, too hungry to feel bad about taking advantage of his character.

"Satoko…" He started, and I silently basked in victory.

"What now?" I grumbled.

"Well, uh, if you clean all this up, I'll buy you some ramen for dinner."

Even though I already knew what was coming, it didn't make my happiness from the promise of free food any less genuine. I flashed a bright smile and nodded enthusiastically.

"Awesome!" I cheered. "I'll be done in no time!"

Seeing how I basically had to teach myself to use chakra overnight if I wanted even a _chance_ at passing the graduation test (which actually didn't sound all-too different from what already I do for finals), unlike Protagonist, instant noodles wasn't going to be enough to keep me at it. So, despite my usually small appetite, I made sure to stuff myself as much as I could in order to last me the night.

"Why were you doing that to the monument?" Iruka asked as I reminded myself to eat slowly, despite how starving I was. "Don't you know who the Hokage are?"

"Of course." I said after swallowing. "Whoever's Hokage is basically the strongest shinobi in the village, and the Fourth Hokage was the one who saved the village from the fox demon."

 _Which is now sealed inside me, but I don't think I'm supposed to know that, yet._

"Then why?" The chuunin asked.

I took this as my first chance to subtly change Protagonist's ambitions to fit my own style.

"One day, I'll become a Hokage way better than any Hokage that's ever come before me!" I said firmly, because even if I was going to give my words less volume, the surreal optimism had to be the same. "I can't stand the villagers treating me the way they do, so if I become the greatest Hokage, they'll have no choice but to respect me."

Iruka quirked his head, seemingly intrigued by my answer. Shortly afterwards, however, his borderline-doubtful look became a confident smile.

"Then you'd better keep your promise to train extra hard! I've never heard of a Hokage who can't even use the Transformation Technique."

"I was just having an off-day today, is all," I lied while nibbling on one of those weird, spirally fish paste things that came in ramen sometimes. "Just wait until tomorrow. I'll show you what I'm made of, then!"

Even though it was _completely_ because I didn't actually have the choice to do otherwise.

"Well then, good luck, Satoko." He smiled warmly.

It was a genuine smile, and thinking back on the cruel memories of villagers legitimately throwing things at Protagonist – at _me_ – because they didn't want me around… Well, now I really understood why Protagonist loved this character so much.

"Thanks, Iruka—" I grinned before very quickly adding "—sensei."

Honourifics were going to take some getting used to.

* * *

S/O to putsoneinmind and AwayandLaughing for being my betas, ft. Tozette for the first couple of chapters or so, ilu all equally and tremendously ty 3


	2. How Could This Happen to Me

**Summary** : Satoko can't do shit, so until she upgrades her ninjutsu arsenal, she'll have to improvise her way through Protagonist's life.

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Thankfully, Iruka was kind enough to offer to walk me home, which saved me from asking or from wandering around aimlessly until morning. The second I got inside, I got myself into the shower, because everybody knows that's the best place to do some real thinking.

"Okay, first thing's first – learn how to use chakra," I said out loud, because at times like these (not that I've ever been transported to a fictional world and taken the role of the protagonist before), talking to myself made it easier to get my thoughts organized.

As I began to scrub my body down, I registered for the first time that it wasn't actually my body. I should have figured that my appearance would change now that I'd taken this role, but it just didn't really have time to sink in until now.

There were scars here and there – some that I had before coming here, and some new ones that were presumably from Protagonist's past, which was now my past. I eyed a particularly noticeable scar at the base of my right palm and frowned when the memory of how I got it surfaced.

 _"Get out of this shop!"_

The words were accompanied by an image of some shitty geezer shoving me out into the street. I stumbled and ended up crashing into a vase on the way out. It hit the ground before I did, and when I landed, one of the shards lodged itself deep into my hand.

 _"Tch, look at this mess! I knew it; you're nothing but a curse to this village!"_

What an asshole.

"It's a damn good thing I know it gets better from here on out, or I might have ended up just as obnoxious and attention-seeking as Protagonist was." That was, of course, assuming that I could get up to the necessary level that was required to do everything that he did in the first place.

It was surreal, remembering things that simultaneously did and didn't happen to me.

"Heh. Schrodinger's memories."

Granted, if I was taking Protagonist's role, it made sense to take his memories and whatever skills he had, as well. At least I wasn't recalling everything all at once, or else I might have ended up with a painful migraine and an emotional breakdown.

I shook my head clear and went back to scrubbing.

My skin was more tanned and my hands were rough from handling weapons. I felt just as out of shape as I was before when I was running, but now that I was examining my new body, it was a lot more toned than how I felt earlier that day.

"I guess it takes time for the body to adjust," I murmured while flexing my arms and abs. "Oh, yeah. I have a seal here."

I patted my belly as if it was going to do anything, but no fancy markings appeared.

"Ouch, this is also where Orochimaru jams his fingers during the Chuunin Exams." I winced, making a mental note to try avoiding that when the time came around. "…Augh, why do all the antagonists have to be so strong?"

If my body really was going to start adjusting itself to the years of regular exercise Protagonist had, I really hoped it wasn't an agonizingly slow process.

"At least he has regenerative abilities," I reminded myself, recalling the pros to being the Kyuubi's container. "Let's hope his stamina kicks in soon, too. There's no way I'll be able to bring it up to par by the time teams are announced, and then I might actually throw up from Kakashi's test. Speaking of which…"

Unlike Protagonist, I knew exactly what that jounin was planning, which meant that maybe, if I played my cards right, I could make Team Seven grow up just a little bit faster than they originally did.

"Yeah, sure, if I can convince the _Great Uchiha Prodigy_ to team up with the _Great Uzumaki Moron,_ " I scowled, not wanting to think about how I was going to get Sakura on my side, either. "Knowledge of the future is useless when you can't even use it to change the present."

Then again, I've read a whole bunch of time-travel stories, and most of those managed to come up with reasons for the genin to start working together. As long as I played into their priorities, I should be able to talk them into it.

"Finally, a use for all those years of character analysis!" Now it was a matter of whether or not I was right about their characters. No pressure, though.

As I brainstormed on how I should go about establishing my relationship with my soon-to-be-teammates, I started washing my new, blond hair. Of all the things to be happy about, _this_ was it, because do you have any idea how hard it is to dye dark brown hair?

"I wonder if they even have hair dye in this world, though." My burst of happiness instantly fizzled to a sulk.

Unless I dyed my hair red with the blood of my enemies.

"Oh, shit," I whispered, nearly getting shampoo in my eye in the process. "I have to _kill people._ "

Okay, well, that wasn't necessarily true, because from what I could remember, Protagonist didn't exactly go around assassinating people left and right, but it might have a lot to do with the series being targeted for a younger audience, so maybe it wasn't all that great for the role model of the series to murder his way to success as opposed to using his Power of Friendship.

It also didn't change the fact that, when fighting enemies, I was pretty much aiming to kill, anyway.

"Geez… I mean, I've always wondered how I would react to killing somebody, but…" Until then, I just relied on the fact that I would never be in a situation where I got the chance to find out.

Such were the dangers of thinking in the shower. Shit always got too real.

I took a deep breath and decided to focus on my priority, which was ultimately getting the hang of ninjutsu.

However, once I was washed up and dry, that priority was nearly bumped out of the way when I started looking for sleepwear.

"I almost forgot how terrible Protagonist's outfit was." I cringed at the orange jumpsuit I had stripped off earlier. That, too, left unregistered, which was probably for the better. I would have spent the entire day thinking about how ridiculous I felt wearing that thing in public instead of reasonably freaking out. "Okay, next priority after learning ninjutsu: get some new clothes."

For now, I settled with the sleepwear I saw Protagonist wearing – a loose, collared pajama shirt, the pants to match, and his funky sleeping cap.

"Okay, not gonna lie, I've always wanted this thing," I said, pulling it over my head. "Granted, I have no idea who would wear a hat to sleep, and why."

Once I was dressed again, I began to search the rest of Protagonist's bachelor pad, which first started with me cleaning up the entire thing. Memories of where he put everything would have been handy dandy at that point, but apparently they liked to go from beginning to end, and right then, the memories I was getting were from around the time of the Uchiha massacre.

 _Aw, little Sasuke's such a cutie,_ I thought while gathering a bunch of old ramen packets into a smelly pile. "Really, Protagonist? You can't even take out the trash? Come on, even I can do better than that, and I'm a university student without a roommate."

Who was now twelve years old again, I realized.

Which meant I got to go through puberty all over again.

Fan- _freaking_ -tastic.

The reminder of being a first-year undergrad made another worry swell up within me.

"…Shit, what's gonna happen to my GPA?" I burst into laughter, nearly knocking over a bowl of leftover instant ramen. "Who am I kidding? That was a lost cause since day one."

Once the table was cleared, I picked up some stray clothes and threw them onto a chair to wash later. I made a separate pile for clothes I didn't plan on wearing because as the (new?) main character, I vowed to wear better clothes than Protagonist did, and also the only articles of clothing that changed to accommodate for my smaller physique was the underwear.

"Alright, now that I'm sure there's no mold growing anywhere, let's get started on some self-teaching."

The last thing left to organize where the dozens of scrolls and books that were strewn across the room. I piled them onto the low table and began skimming through them.

Thankfully, even if he missed a lot of class and failed the test three times, Protagonist still had a few notes from the Academy. They were mostly the basics, but the basics were all I needed right now.

 _Chakra is the form of life energy that all living things produce to some degree and need to survive. It is produced within the chakra coils that primarily surround and connect to each organ that produces chakra._

"…But which organs do that?" Leave it to Protagonist's notes to not tell me, but it probably didn't matter much. The point was, living beings produce chakra. Awesome. Maybe answered the long-debated question on whether or not plants have chakra, too.

 _The energy circulates throughout the body in a network called the Chakra Pathway System. Shinobi are capable of generating more chakra and releasing it through pressure points known as tenketsu. This enables them to perform jutsu._

Most of it was introductory jabber, so I flipped through the pages until I found something more related to actually moulding chakra to do things.

 _Chakra is created when physical energy and spiritual energy are moulded together. Collectively, these two types of energy constituteone's stamina. Physical energy is collected from every cell in the body. It can be increased through training, stimulants, and exercise._

"I really need Protagonist's stamina if I'm gonna do that exercising thing."

 _Spiritual energy comes from the mind's consciousness and can be increased through studying, meditation, and experience._

"...I really need self-discipline if I'm gonna do that studying thing." Granted, this was a lot more interesting than some of the things I was studying in university, and now my survival depended on it, so I hoped that would be enough to make me more studious.

 _The more powerful these two energies become, the more powerful one's chakra becomes. Thus, practicing the same technique repeatedly will build up experience, which will increase spiritual energy. This will create more chakra and finally, enable one to perform that technique with more power. The same process applies to physical energy, except the shinobi needs to increase their endurance, instead._

The next few paragraphs talked about how everybody has their own chakra signature, so I skipped ahead to the bold lettering that read _CHAKRA CONTROL_.

"See, this is what I needed from the beginning." I folded the corner of the page and continued reading.

 _Chakra takes time to build up, so the key is not having chakra, but the ability to control and conserve it._

 _In order to mould chakra, one must extract physical energy from the body's cells and spiritual energy from the mind's consciousness, which are then mixed together within the body. It is possible to create too much or too little chakra for a technique._

"Oh, this is that stuff Sakura says while tree-climbing." It was reassuring to know that even something as foreign as chakra had some familiarity to it, even if that familiarity came from re-watching and re-reading chapters for the sake of fanfiction accuracy. "Okay, so, mind and body, stir until mixed, and don't use too little or too much or I'll mess it up."

I dug through the notes again until I found information about actual techniques. Since I knew the genin test was going to be on the Clone Technique, I decided to focus on that one, first. I at _least_ had to be able to make a shitty potato-sack clone like Protagonist did.

"Ram, snake, tiger." I repeated the three hand seals required for the technique and pulled up a chart of the seals, because despite following the series for over half of my life, I still didn't have them all memorized.

I wasn't _that_ much of a loser. (Yes I was)

As I practiced making the seals, I read a little bit about what hand seals actually did in the first place.

 _Hand seals manipulate the amount of chakra necessary to perform a technique. Every technique has its own sequence of hand seals that needs to be memorized. While techniques may require several hand seals to work, a skilled shinobi can use less or even one hand seal to perform the same technique._

"Is this like math, but with chakra?" I thought to myself with a furrowed brow. "A different combination of hand seals will manipulate a different amount of chakra, so… depending on which specific hand seals I use, I'll draw out more or less chakra for the technique."

I wondered if there was a chart that indicated how much chakra was manipulated with each hand seal, but found no such thing. Figures, though I wasn't even sure if I was understanding it right. As long as the sequence was given, though, it wasn't much of a problem. Right now, it was a matter of getting used to the feeling of manipulating chakra in the first place.

My new memories now had a few instances where I was actually learning how to use chakra, which helped me get a feel for what it felt like to mould it. There was nothing that helped me understand the Clone Technique in particular, however, but at least it was a start.

"Okay, so that one is the standard sequence," I mumbled while making the three hand seals again, "but the alternative is tiger, boar, ox, dog, which probably makes it easier to do. Might as well start with the standard and see how that goes."

I took a few deep breaths sand stood up, ready to give it a shot.

"I'm so happy I'm alone right now," I sighed before making the hand seals.

The feeling of manipulating chakra was both familiar and foreign at the same time, which was the most bizarre sensation I had ever felt in my life. If performing a technique was like firing a gun, making the hand seals was loading the gun, moulding the chakra was pulling the trigger, and the result would be the bullet being fired.

"Clone Technique!" I said, because maybe saying the name would help, too.

The bullet was not fired.

I stared at the empty space next to me and groaned.

"Protagonist has the most useless memories _ever_. I'd be better off learning from a dead cat."

Seriously, why couldn't I have replaced Sakura, or hell, even Sasuke? At least their memories would give me a better idea of how to use chakra, and if I were Sasuke, I could just sit my ass down and not leave the village in the first place instead of spending the next three years of my life losing an arm – _hah_ – and leg over trying to bring him back.

"Well, I've got all night to practice. At least I'm no stranger to pulling all-nighters."

With a heavy sigh, I cleared my head as much as I could, and tried again.

When morning came, I was worn out enough to warrant another shower, so that's what I did. It also helped wake me up, which was nice. After almost a day of being in this world, I had recalled just about all the memories there were to recall about Protagonist's childhood, and wow, did I wanna go punch every single civilian in the face right then.

"Props to Protagonist for not doing that," I sighed while reluctantly putting on the orange jump suit.

Admittedly, it was really comfortable, and I was probably going to keep it just so I could wear it at home, but not only was it tacky, I didn't want to work up a sweat in long sleeves and pants. How Protagonist didn't die of heatstroke in that thing, I may never know.

Now with a mental map of Konoha – at least, the places I would need to know the locations of – I got myself to the Academy right on time. That was a first, seeing as I hadn't woken up before noon in a while, but it seemed like Protagonist's stamina was finally starting to kick in. For once, I didn't feel like I was on the verge of death.

It also helped keep practicing the Clone Technique all night, and it was like the notes said – more experience led to better results, and man, was I _so_ ready to show off my results.

"Now, for the graduation exam, you will do the Transformation Technique."

I could have sworn the entire world just stopped.

"When you are called, come to the next room."

And yet, it continued without me.

My heart pounded loudly as panic began to settle in. This was _not_ how it was supposed to go. The test was on the _Clone_ Technique – the one that I practiced the _entire night!_ I even managed to make an actual clone! Granted, it still looked a little wonky, but it was standing, and I was _so ready_ to get that stupid headband, but—

"This is _so_ unfair!"

It wasn't until I lifted my head off the desk to see everybody staring at me that I realized I said that out loud.

"Is there something wrong, Satoko?" Iruka asked, mildly irritated. "I hope you practiced like you said you would."

I took a deep breath and shoved my hands into my pockets in order to prevent myself from lashing out on the table. Whether I was more panicked or worried at that point was hard to say.

"…I did," I bit out through clenched teeth.

 _But not the right one because—because—AGH. What the hell did I just do? Did I already screw up the universe forever?! Am I too good for you, Universe? Is that it?! IS THAT IT?!_

Apparently, Protagonist was destined to fail that test no matter _what_ happened.

When my name was called, I walked in with as much confidence as I could muster, which was harder than it sounded, because now I was worried about anything I did possibly causing the course of this universe to change. For all I knew, Iruka could have already been replaced by Anko, and Mizuki would be the new older-brother figure.

I entered the classroom and was relieved to find that Anko wasn't there and Mizuki still had the face of an undercover asshole.

"Whenever you're ready." Iruka smiled.

 _So, never._

I scrunched up my face in distaste and sucked in a deep breath in hopes of calming my nerves.

 _I can do this. I studied the theories and I skimmed the notes on this technique. I can probably do it this time. Besides, Protagonist has memories of successfully performing the technique, which is basically the same thing as me doing them._

"Alright, here I go." I made the tiger hand seal and closed my eyes.

I began to do that whole energy-mixing thing with much more assurance than before. Some of the technique was just what I recently practiced, and the rest was from my new memories that almost made it instinctive.

 _Small shout out to Protagonist for not having completely useless memories after all._

I felt my chakra gather and mould within my core. By then, it was a sensation I had felt several times over, and it was one that meant that it was _working._

"Transformation Technique!" There was a puff of smoke, and I almost stopped emitting my chakra out of excitement. When it cleared, I looked up at the two chuunin and grinned widely. "How 'bout that, Iruka-sensei? Not bad, I bet!"

The two chuunin stared back at me in silence for a moment, eyes wide and mouths parted. When neither one of them spoke for a few moments, however, I started to get nervous.

"Uh…" I started, but was unsure of what to say.

"Satoko." Iruka said in an unsettling low voice. "Please explain yourself."

He gestured for me to approach the desk.

"I don't…" I murmured nervously, but inched my way over nevertheless.

Finally, Iruka slowly reached for a headband. He held it up to my eye level and frowned heavily.

"Who is this, and why does he look so familiar?"

When I looked at my reflection, my visibly flinched from what I saw.

 _Shit, I transformed into Protagonist! Retracting previous shout out, this is bad!_

"U-Um, you see…" I stammered, my mind churning to come up with an excuse.

 _Did I just rip through the fabric of space and time itself? Oh, man, I can't believe Iruka recognizes him! This seriously wasn't how things were supposed to go down!_

"I see that you didn't practice at all!" he suddenly shouted, slamming the headband on the table. "You've barely even transformed!"

"W-Wha—?"

"Iruka-sensei," Mizuki said with a gentle smile, "this is her third time, and she did technically transform. We could let her pass."

"No way, Mizuki-sensei. Everybody else transformed into someone completely different, but all Satoko did was change her physique and shorten her hair! Anybody could tell that it's actually her." Even though he gave me a sympathetic glance, he refused to change his mind. "I can't let her pass."

I knew I was supposed to pretend to be upset, but at that point, I was way too relieved that they didn't actually recognize Protagonist for who he was.

 _Talk about a heart attack. And now that I've failed…_

"Satoko," a voice stopped me on my way home.

 _…I can get Mizuki to find me for that stupid plan of his._

"Mizuki-sensei!" I greeted, feigning surprise.

I contemplated trying to get myself out of this situation. It ends with Iruka literally getting stabbed in the back, and I end up giving another reason for everybody in the village to hate me, but it _did_ end with Protagonist learning the Shadow Clone Technique. As annoying as it was that it was one of the two moves he ever used, it was damn useful, and like hell I was going to skip over the chance to at least _try_ learning it.

"Iruka-sensei is a serious person," Mizuki said once we were seated on a perch on the side of a building. "His parents were killed when he was young and he's had to do everything himself."

I slouched and pouted my lips, annoyed. "Doesn't mean he gets to pick on me."

"He probably sees himself in you," he smiled gently. "He's probably thinking he wants you to become strong the real way. Try to understand Iruka's feelings, since you also have no parents."

 _Ouch, touchy subject much, asshole._

"…I still wish I graduated."

Mizuki seemed to contemplate something for a brief moment before saying, "Well then, I'll tell you a special secret."

 _Ten points to me for picking the right dialogue options. I knew playing visual novels would help me someday._

Memories of Protagonist practicing the Sexy Transformation Technique lingered at the back of my mind, but I wasn't good enough to use it – nor did I _want_ to use it – so I had to come up with another way to K.O. the Hokage if he caught me in action.

Which he did, because let's face it – an academy student wasn't going to conceal themselves from the greatest shinobi in the village. Especially when that academy student technically just learned how to use chakra.

"What are you doing in my house at this hour?" His old geezer voice came from behind.

My original plan was to temporarily blind the old man by flashing a light in his face, but then I remembered the lack of technology in this universe, which never made sense. They had crappy computers and could hold a low-budget conference call, but _still_ no flashlights.

My second plan was to find the light switch and turn them on and off really quickly for the same effect. I would have closed my eyes so I wouldn't have been blinded as well, except once I actually snuck in, I couldn't find the light switches in the first place. The dim moonlight wasn't enough for me to locate them.

Thankfully, I came prepared, just in case something like this happened. Except, well, Plan C was a little bit… _extreme_.

"I really wish you didn't catch me, Gramps," I murmured while reaching into my pouch.

"Hm? What do you have there, Satoko?" The Hokage frowned. "You weren't trying to prank me again, were you?"

 _You and me are both gonna wish that were the case real soon, old man. Trust me._

I pulled out a bottle, struck a match with my teeth (thank you pointless skill #5 for finally being useful), lit the oil-soaked rag that was sticking out of it, and waited two mortified seconds before smashing it between us.

" _I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS OLD MAN—_ " I shrieked, sprinting away as fast as I could because I just threw a freaking _Molotov_ inside the ninja equivalent of the _White House_ in front of the ninja equivalent of the fucking _president_ because what _else_ are you supposed to do when you come face to face with the most powerful shinobi in the village and you can't use ninjutsu for shit?

 _YOU THROW A FUCKING MOLOTOV AT HIM._

"Oh my _god_ oh my god oh my godohmygodohmygod—"

Whatever was happening behind me, I didn't dare turn around, because I was in no rush to get a preview of my afterlife.

 _I take it back; Sexy Transformation Technique would have been sO MUCH BETTER **FUCK** -_

* * *

 **End Notes** : You're lying to yourself if you think she had a better way to go about this.

Also hmu on tumblr, my url is youridiotwriter and sometimes I post extra content and whatnot o/


	3. Umino Iruka Protection Squad

**Summary** : Satoko does some actual ninja things that _doesn't_ involve breaking and entering and setting shit on fire that really shouldn't be on fire (though really there aren't a lot of things around that _should_ be on fire). Also she decides that Iruka is a precious cinnamon roll too pure for this world.

* * *

Even with my stamina gradually building up to Protagonist's level on its own, I was still gasping for air and on the verge of collapsing by the time I escaped into the woods. Screeching like a banshee after almost setting the Hokage on fire was _probably_ not the best way to start out as a main character, but in my defense, I _did_ weigh my options. Besides, it was a calculated risk. He was the Hokage. He'd live.

Hopefully.

 _He's also really old, so…_ I frowned. _Shit, what if I kill the Hokage prematurely via heart attack?_

The only thing that kept me reassured that I didn't just accidentally murder the village leader was that no ANBU had been dispatched to hunt me down. Deciding I was still in the clear, I set the over-sized scroll on the ground and took a moment to catch my breath.

 _Whether or not I become a genin rides on me learning this stupid technique, so that better have been worth it._

I had around half a day until Iruka found me. It was several hours' worth of time, but a time limit nonetheless. With my adrenaline rush fading fast, I got straight to work.

 _The Multiple Shadow Clone technique utilizes the Yin Release aspect of creating form out of nothingness, as well as the aspect of breathing life into form, such as is provided by the Yang Release. These are the aspects that make this technique based on Yin-Yang Release._

Diagrams depicting the use of Yin and Yang Release were drawn next to it for clarification. I soon realized that they were basically what Protagonist's own notes were referring to as spiritual and physical energy. Suddenly, moulding chakra made a lot more sense.

If Yin Release was based on spiritual energy, and Yang Release was based on physical energy, and manipulating chakra required both spiritual and physical energy, then there was probably some sort of ratio between the two that determined whether the technique was Yin Release or Yang Release.

On top of moulding the right amount of chakra with the help of hand seals, I figured I also had to find that balance between spiritual and physical energy. Now that I thought about it, that might have been part of my inability to perform the Clone Technique properly.

 _Maybe I'll actually do it properly this time._

With a confident grin, I went on to read about the technique itself.

 _A substantial number of clones that is capable of reaching the hundreds is the result of this technique. It can, however, be harmful to the user, for equal amounts of chakra that originate directly from the user are given to every one of the clones. As such, it is due to the large amount of chakra that the technique consumes that puts the user at risk of death by chakra depletion._

More diagrams matched the words, as well as a drawing of the hand seal used to perform the technique. With the only drawback being countered with my large chakra pool – courtesy of Kurama – I stood up and got ready to start my training.

At least thirty minutes and absolutely _nothing._

I groaned when what had to be my hundredth attempt still produced no results. Not even a low-budget render of myself!

"What the hell am I doing wrong?!" I cried while kneeling in front of the scroll. "I'm doing everything I'm supposed to! I'm channeling my energy, I'm definitely moulding chakra, and I'm doing the stupid hand seal—"

When I looked at the drawing of the hand seal just then, my heart nearly stopped.

"Oh. My. _God._ " I groaned and buried my head into my arms. "I'm _such_ a freaking _moron!_ "

The drawing was of the left hand being held horizontally, behind the right hand, which was held vertically so that the index and middle fingers of both hands would form a cross. But of _course_ I'd be an absolute idiot and decide to _mirror_ the image instead of actually _reading it properly._

After letting out another exasperated cry, I slumped back onto my feet and sighed.

"Okay. _Now_ this has to work." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and brought my hands together. _Correctly_ this time. "Shadow Clone Technique!"

A puff of smoke startled me, and once it cleared, I was staring at an exact copy of myself.

"…Damn it."

Well, almost.

She looked similar to all the other regular clones I managed to make up until now, but at least this one was standing. Her eyes were slanted and she kind of look liked she came right out of a washing machine, but I could tell that the clone was supposed to be me. At this point, that was plenty.

"Alright! A little more chakra should fix you right up."

"Ybrrgh!" she garbled.

I winced. "…Yeah, sure." I dispelled the jutsu and got ready to try again.

From then on, I only got better and better. Reading about how Yin and Yang Release played into the technique – and any technique, really – helped me get the hang of moulding chakra in the first place, and then making sure I was using just the right amount for the technique. I found relief in knowing that I just had to keep building _up_ the amount of chakra I was putting into the technique, as opposed to having to use less. It felt easier that way.

Gradually, my clones looked more like proper copies of myself. Eventually, they even managed to form coherent words, despite still looking a little wonky.

"Really? This is the best you could do?" The clone frowned, looking at her disproportionate hand.

"I can sass myself just fine, thank you."

"I'm just saying."

"Yeah, and I'm just dispelling you now."

It wasn't until the moon started to set that I finally made a successful clone.

"Holy shit, _yes!_ "

And then I accidentally dispelled it from over-excitement.

" _FUCK._ "

Thankfully, it wasn't that hard to do it again, but I had still only made one. I had to nail the "multiple" part of the technique, too, and I was running out of time. It was a damn good thing I already knew the trade secret of shadow clones. That is, gaining all the experience that they gain once the technique is dispelled.

"You ready for this, me?" I asked my clone.

"Way ahead of ya." She grinned. "Shadow Clone Technique!"

A third copy of me appeared in the field, and we all promptly high-fived, because that was exactly the sort of thing I'd do with myself after my plan successfully works.

"I'm gonna take a quick break, but you guys keep at it," I said while sitting down.

"What a lazy shit," both clones muttered simultaneously, but started making more clones anyway.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help grinning at my success.

To have my clones practice the technique themselves was part of my plan from the beginning, but I wasn't sure if it would work or not. I vaguely remembered Protagonist using his clones to transform into his teammates during the Forest of Death, however, and they could also use the Rasengan, so I saw no reason that they couldn't use the Shadow Clone Technique, either.

At this rate, I'd only get exponentially better, which meant I actually had a chance at mastering the technique before time was up.

 _Maybe I can do this whole ninja thing after all._

The sun was just starting to rise by the time Iruka appeared.

"I've found you…!" he said through clenched teeth.

I was significantly worn out and sitting on my ass, which was just as well, because I had that Multiple Shadow Clone Technique mastered and was _so ready_ to sic it on Mizuki's sorry ass.

"Hehe, so you have," I said, not too tired to grin sheepishly.

"Don't act so relaxed, Satoko! Do you have any idea how serious the damages are?" he hissed, but presumably kept his voice down so nobody else would come before he had his own chat with me. "Where did you even come up with the idea to set the building on fire?!"

There really wasn't anything for me to say to that. I mean, I _could_ have said something Protagonist-esque, but really, I was still just as speechless about the whole ordeal and the fact that I came up with idea at all. Instead, I gave a Protagonist-esque laugh and glanced away. Thankfully, Iruka didn't seem keen on pushing it and his more protective nature came through and changed the subject.

"Forget it, we'll deal with that later," he sighed, shaking his head. "You're all beaten up. What were you doing?"

"Don't worry about it. Instead, check out what I can do now!" I was just about to get ready to show him the technique until he interrupted.

"Satoko," Iruka said, now looking at the scroll on my back, "where did you get that scroll?"

 _Sorry, Sensei. You're about to get back-stabbed, and unfortunately, I mean that literally._

"Oh, this? Mizuki-sensei told me about it, and about this place, too. He said that if I show you this move, you'll let me graduate, so just gimme a sec and— _agh!_ "

I knew it was coming, but I was still clueless about sensing presences, so when Iruka pushed me out of the way, it knocked me onto my back. A blur of kunai rained down on Iruka, followed by thunks and squelches of the weapons hitting the wooden shack and Iruka's body.

 _Oh my god. Ow. Shit, how the_ hell _am I supposed to deal with getting stabbed myself?_

"Nice job finding him," Mizuki said from above.

"I see… So that's what's going on." Iruka winced.

"Give me the scroll, Satoko!"

 _Like hell, bastard!_

"Satoko!" Iruka shouted while pulling the kunai out of him. "Don't give him the scroll, even if it costs you your life! That's a dangerous scroll that has forbidden ninjutsu sealed within it. Mizuki used you in order to get his hands on it!"

 _Are you telling me a chuunin wasn't good enough to steal it himself? Then again, he probably wanted to use me, the focus of the village's hatred and fear, as an unfortunate scapegoat. What an_ asshole _, geez._

I got onto my feet, ready to make a break for it once the time was right.

"Satoko…" Mizuki wore a dark grin as he looked down at me. "There's no point in you having it. You'll never be accepted, no matter how many techniques you learn from that scroll! I'll tell you the truth."

"N…No, don't!" Iruka shouted, but as if Mizuki was going to play nice.

 _It's a good thing I already know about the Kyuubi, or else I'd actually have to go through the emotional damage like Protagonist did. Granted, it didn't mess him up forever, but still._

"You know about the Demon Fox being sealed twelve years ago, right? Since that incident, a new rule was created for this village, but… Satoko, that rule was never meant to be told to you."

 _Guess I have to play along._

"Not to me…?" I echoed, feigning confusion. "Why not? What's this rule?"

Mizuki laughed maliciously, and I got ready to put on the best No-That-Can't-Be-True-This-Isn't-Real-I-Am-So-Genuinely-Distraught-Right-Now face.

"The rule is that nobody is allowed to talk about the fact that _you_ are the Demon Fox."

"What...?" Pause for dramatic effect. "What do you mean?!" I exclaimed with the aforementioned face, and I'm pretty sure I nailed it, too.

"Stop it!" Iruka shouted so loud I could hear strain in his voice.

"It means that you," Mizuki continued, "are the Nine-Tail Demon that killed Iruka's parents and destroyed the village. You were sealed up by the Hokage you admire, and—"

"— _STOP IT—!_ "

"—you have been lied to by everyone! Didn't you find it strange how everybody hated you?" Mizuki unstrapped one of his over-sized shuriken and got ready to hurl it right at me. "Iruka is the same! He wants you gone!"

I braced myself for the attack, despite knowing what Iruka was about to do. I contemplated using the Multiple Shadow Clone Technique right then and there, but I needed to give Iruka the chance to tell me his backstory so I'd have that much more of a reason to love his precious self, even if it was gonna hurt like a bitch.

 _It's okay, Iruka; you'll live._

Not that that would make it any less painful, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

"Nobody will ever accept you! That scroll was used to seal you up!"

The weapon flew from Mizuki's hand, and even though I knew this was going to happen, in _what world_ would having a _giant-ass metal ninja star_ flung right your face _not_ scare the _ever-loving shit_ out of you?

Another loud squelch sounded and I flinched. When I opened my eyes, Iruka was curled over me. Blood dripped from his mouth and onto my face, which was a little gross, but mostly I just want to give the poor man a hug.

"Why…?" I asked softly.

On one hand, I was following the script. On the other, I was genuinely wondering why he would protect that little brat who'd giving him nothing but trouble to both him and the entire village, and really _was_ the vessel of the Demon Fox that killed his parents and tore up the village.

I'd always liked Iruka, and to experience his care first-hand made him that much more of an incredible, genuinely caring person that was, without a doubt, an invaluable person in Protagonist's, and now my, life.

"My…" the chuunin started, despite the searing pain that was surely not easy to ignore, "my parents… After they died, there was nobody to compliment me or acknowledge me. I was so sad…"

Hearing his voice strained and shaky almost made me wanna tell him that I already _knew_ all of this, but I had already altered the universe once by acting based on previous knowledge, and I wasn't about to risk messing something up again.

"Since I wasn't able to do things well, like school, I always acted like an idiot to get people's attention. It was better than being nothing, so I kept acting like an idiot. It was so lonely…" He sniffled, and _oh god he was crying_ _do_ not _falter, Satoko_. _For the love all dolphins do not_ – "You must have been lonely, too, Satoko."

 _You're killing me here, man._

"I'm sorry, Satoko… If I had been more aware, you wouldn't have had to feel that way."

 _Protect Umino Iruka at all costs._

It really was a shame that Protagonist ran off at this point, because I really wanted to stay and reassure the poor chuunin that _I'm fine, honest_. But alas, a script was a script, and until I decided how I wanted to go about trying to change things for the better, it was best to just stick with it.

"Satoko," he suddenly whispered far too quietly for Mizuki to hear, just as I was about to haul ass. "I'll buy you some time, so please, run to safety."

 _Oh._

"Iruka-" I started, but clammed up at his unexpectedly stern gaze. Instead, I gulped and nodded.

 _This makes so much more sense than Protagonist just running off without explanation, actually._

"Go!

With a bit of hesitance, I gritted my teeth, frowned at the idea of running, and then did it anyway.

"Satoko!" I heard Iruka shout as I disappeared into the forest, and Mizuki's muffled taunts immediately followed.

 _Just you wait, Iruka – I'll beat the shit outta that bastard soon enough!_

I didn't run for very long until I hear the commotion of Iruka, who transformed into me, attacking Mizuki, who had transformed into Iruka. I stopped and hid behind a nearby tree like Protagonist did, and with the scroll clutched tightly against my chest, I eavesdropped on the conversation.

"There's no way that Demon Fox wouldn't use that power," Mizuki said.

"Yeah…the Demon Fox would do that…" Iruka replied weakly and spoke between pained gasps. "But Satoko is different. I've acknowledged her as…one of my excellent students."

 _I repeat: protect Umino Iruka at all costs._

"She may not be the hardest worker… and she's clumsy so nobody accepts her. She already knows what it is to feel pain in your heart." Despite his ragged breaths, his voice was firm and knowing. "She isn't the Demon Fox anymore…"

 _AT._

"She is a member of the Hidden Leaf Village."

 _ALL._

"She's… She's Uzumaki Satoko!"

 _COSTS._

Without even waiting for Mizuki to announce his plan to kill Iruka first, I dashed out from behind the tree and put all of my weight into slamming my body into his. A loud crack rang in my ears as my shoulder collided with his jaw before he was knocked back onto the ground. My momentum carried me forward, but thankfully not enough to end up face-planting myself.

It might have seemed out of place to attack Mizuki before he showed any signs of attacking Iruka, but I didn't want to risk trying to charge in at the last minute, only to be a second too late and end up with a dead chuunin on my hands. Plus, I doubted there would be any repercussions for ambushing the traitor.

"You shouldn't have done that," Mizuki snarled while getting back up.

"And you shouldn't have been such a bastard," I said just as bitterly. "Try and lay a finger on Iruka-sensei and I promise that you won't have any fingers left!"

"You idiot!" Iruka coughed, body slumped against the base of a tree. "Why did you come out?! Run away!"

"I could kill a punk like you in one shot!" Mizuki laughed.

"You won't even get the chance," I retorted while making the clone seal. "Multiple Shadow Clone Technique!"

With an overwhelming sensation of both chakra and adrenaline, clouds of smoke puffed up in the trees, filling them with dozens upon dozens of clones.

"Wha—?! W-What's going on?!" Mizuki gasped.

"Guess you're all bark and no bite." I grinned patronizingly. "Here we go!"

The muscle memory that should have come with Protagonist's memories of training unfortunately was not a thing, or at least not yet, but with over a thousand copies of myself, it didn't matter whether or not I actually knew how to fight. After getting the experience through my clones hundreds of times, though, I had a pretty good idea of how to literally kick a guy while he was down.

So I did.

"Bet you wish you picked some other impressionable brat to do your dirty work, now, huh?!" I yelled before swinging my foot into his face one last time.

" _HRK—!"_ was the last sound that came from Mizuki before he passed out.

On one hand, I felt kind of bad, because he was plenty beaten by the time my clones disappeared. On the other hand, I'd be lying if I said I'd never wanted to try hitting someone with full force. Admittedly, it was pretty good for relieving stress, which was something I had a lot of at that point.

 _I guess that's_ _one plus side to being in this world._

Mizuki was sprawled on the ground, bruised and swollen with blood dripping from his nose and mouth. I winced and looked up at Iruka, who seemed rather content, despite the fact that he just witnessed his student pummel a grown man.

"Okay, maybe that last one was a little too far," I said sheepishly.

The chuunin snorted and sat up, wincing as he did so. "Come over here, Satoko. There's something I want to give you."

When asked, I closed my eyes and felt Iruka tie his headband around my forehead. I'd forgotten that Protagonist's headband belonged to the chuunin, and it became so much more than just a symbol of my genin status once I remembered.

"Congratulations," Iruka said as I opened my eyes, "on graduating."

It felt ridiculous, knowing that I was wearing a Konoha headband on my forehead, but it was because of my own memories that I felt that way. With Protagonist's memories, though, there was a whole new meaning to it. It was hard to say whether the ambition to become a genin was truly mine, now that I had Protagonist's memories in the first place, but even so, I knew that the happiness and pride that swelled within me was genuine, and I couldn't help but embrace Iruka out of sheer joy.

"Thank you, Iruka-sensei." I grinned into his shoulder. "Now please go to the hospital before you bleed out."

* * *

 **After credit scene** : Satoko putting twigs in Mizuki's bloody nose.

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	4. Satoko's Mysterious Marketplace

**Summary** : Satoko does ninja things like beating up the Hokage's grandson and attempting to buy groceries.

* * *

I didn't realize how horribly exhausted I was until I got home and was tempted to go straight to sleep, but dirtying the bed sheets with sweat and dirt and blood (I wasn't sure if it was more or less gross that it wasn't my blood) didn't sound appealing. A shower, on the other hand, did.

It also meant more time to _think_.

"Okay, this is when things start to get tricky. If I'm gonna make changes, I'm gonna have to do some real thinking ahead if I don't wanna screw myself over, and it all starts with my team." I swallowed the urge to wail disdainfully right then. "Team 7 is loaded with problems – Sakura needs more confidence, Sasuke needs more loving, and Kakashi needs…" I frowned, silently scrubbing the same part of my arm in thought, "…Kakashi needs, like, amnesia, or something."

I shook my head and spent the next while exhaling an anguished groan because really, what everybody needed was some _therapy_. And a hug. At least those, I could give.

"…I guess I just gotta start small and go big," I sighed, pressing my forehead against the shower wall.

It was cool and oddly soothing, so I stayed that way until I remembered that I was pretty sure I had to pay bills and was wasting water. I also had enough reason to believe, however, that the Hokage was using my inheritance from Minato and Kushina to pay for my living expenses, because I didn't seem to have any memories of Protagonist paying the bills himself. The idiot probably couldn't handle it himself, anyway. Actually, I probably couldn't, either.

Good to know that letting an ostracized orphan handle his own living expenses wasn't on the list of Bad Hokage Decisions.

 _Speaking of Bad Hokage Decisions…_

Orochimaru and Danzou had to be dealt with. Somehow.

I sucked in a deep breath and let out an obnoxiously long groan.

"Maybe if I create a legitimately healthy team dynamic, the Cursed Seal won't be _too_ big of a deal," I pondered.

The Cursed Seal was more effective the more Sasuke actually _wanted_ to use it, right? So all I had to do was make him less obsessed about getting his revenge.

"... _Way_ easier said than done."

I went back to groaning.

 _One step at a time, Satoko. That won't be relevant until later._

By the time I was done cleaning up, there was only about an hour left until I was supposed to go get my Ninja Registration photo taken. That got me thinking about what technology this world had and didn't have (again), which didn't let me sleep until about thirty minutes later (again), so when I had to haul my ass back out of bed to get going, I still felt like I was on the verge of death. Again.

 _Okay, Protagonist, it would be really great if your stamina would kick in at full force right about now._

It was unusual being up and about so early, but it did help that Protagonist was more used to this kind of routine, so it surprisingly wasn't too hard to stay conscious for the duration of the photo. I would have loved to mimic Protagonist's getup, but I didn't wake up early enough. Maybe the whole 'getting dropped into another universe and realizing that I could die at any moment the second I step outside the village gates' was starting to take its toll on me. Plus, I was never really a fan of makeup, let alone covering my entire face and hands in it, as genuinely impressive as Protagonist's design was.

 _You'd think they'd catch on to the fact that he has some decent skill for a twelve-year-old and start teaching him how to make sophisticated disguises, but that would mean things would have made sense._

So, I took the boring photo in all its standard glory and went to the Academy to meet the Hokage in some meeting room of some sort. Since the picture should be fine, I had a pretty good idea what he wanted to see me about.

"That was a very dangerous tactic you used, Satoko," the Hokage said, lacing his fingers in front of his mouth. "It caused severe damages that will take time to repair. It's very fortunate that no important documents were lost in the fire," he finished, sounding exasperated and tired. I pretended not to notice the singes at the edge of his hat and sleeves.

"Hehe, yeah…" I winced, glancing nervously at the door Konohamaru was bound to run through at any moment. It probably looked like I really wanted to leave, which wasn't a lie, but mostly I was just dreading having to deal with the kid. "All's well that ends well, right?"

"That's one way to put it," he shook his head, and I could have sworn a little flake of his hat peeled off. "Was it Mizuki who told you to how to make that weapon?"

"Uh…"

I fidgeted in my seat, rubbing my left thumb into the palm of my right hand. It was a nervous habit of sorts, and I was definitely nervous, because I had no idea what the "right" answer was. Would it be better or worse if I said Mizuki taught me how to make the Molotov? I wanted to take the scapegoat offered, but chances were, I'd be making other similar weapons. It might be suspicious if I suddenly knew how to "invent" things without the help of a backstabbing chuunin.

"Satoko?"

"Yes!" I flinched, snapping my head up. The Hokage raised an eyebrow. "I mean, uh no! No, he didn't. I made it myself."

Now both eyebrows were raised.

 _Should that offend me?_

"…I see," he said thoughtfully, taking a puff from his pipe.

 _…Should that worry me?_

"It was very…" the Hokage looked like he was trying to find the right words to describe what we both knew was nothing short of a disaster, "…effective."

 _Yeah, it has a bit of a_ flare _, doesn't it._

"Heh! Well, somebody as amazing as me will only make amazing things!" I grinned haughtily to mask my nervousness. "You don't have to hide it, Gramps. If you wanna know how I made it, all you need to do is ask!"

"That won't be necessary," he replied with a hint of amusement. "Just don't do it again. Even for you, that's too much for a prank. People could have been hurt."

I kept myself from looking at the singes on his clothes as I nodded. "It wasn't that fun, anyway."

That was a total lie. It was horrifying and I may have peed a little, but it was _awesome._

The Hokage nodded doubtfully, but didn't press the matter any further. I had the feeling there was a lot more he wanted to say, but an open room in the Academy wasn't exactly the best place for privacy, which was proven shortly afterwards when Konohamaru stormed into the room, challenging the Hokage to a fight.

"Old man! Fight me!" his little prepubescent voice shouted as he slid into the room, which was promptly followed by a slam when he tripped and hit the ground. "Owww!"

"Who set a trap here?!" The academy student sat up, holding his head with one hand. At least his little head thing seemed to absorb some of the impact.

"Konohamaru-sama! Are you alright?!" the deeper voice of one Ebisu gasped as he entered the room shortly after. "And there isn't a trap anywhere!"

I pretended not to notice the tokujou's glare.

Still sitting in the chair, I stared at the kid with a furrowed brow. "Who the hell are you?"

"I know!" Konohamaru jumped onto his feet and rushed towards me. "You did something!"

 _Oh yeah, I'm supposed to prove that I'm 'not like the others' by punching him in the head, which for some reason makes him and his friends admire me for some reason. Maybe I can raise my own little personal army…_

"You tripped on your own, you moron!" I snapped, grabbing him by the front of his scarf and unexpectedly pulling him a foot off the ground.

 _Holy shit, either my body's adapting to Protagonist's training or Konohamaru_ really _needs to put on some pounds._

"Hey! Let go of him, Satoko!" Ebisu warned, pointing angrily at me. "That's the Third Hokage-sama's grandson!"

"Oh," I said, looking back at the kid. "Then this is just hitting two birds with one stone!"

And then I dropped my fist onto his nutty little head.

 _Marx would've been proud. Fuck the bourgeoisie._

"What?!" Ebisu shrieked, clearly appalled by the fact that the Demon Fox Brat had the audacity to hurt the Third Hokage's Grandson, which was amusing, because the Third Hokage himself just looked exasperated.

I was kinda worried about the potential injuries, but _somebody_ had to tell Konohamaru that until he's actually good enough to avoid letting his teammates strangle him, wearing a long scarf was ridiculous shinobi attire, and he clearly wasn't going to listen to any adults. The kid probably has a hard head if he was alright after that fall, anyway.

"Satoko," the Hokage said over the pained whining of his grandson. "We'll continue this conversation later. You're dismissed."

"Sure thing." I let the kid go in an instant. "Later, Gramps!" I nodded to Ebisu, "Shady Gramps," patted Konohamaru's head, "Gramps Spawn," and rushed out.

 _Oh my god, this poor kid really does suck at camouflage._

I could see Konohamaru hiding by the fence from down the block, holding up a patterned sheet that didn't even match the direction of the fence posts.

 _Maybe that head trauma really did do something after all…_

With a sigh, I mustered up the enthused rage of Protagonist and pointed dramatically.

"Hey, what the hell is that supposed to be?!" I yelled, waving my finger at Konohamaru's terrible _'_ I'm a fence'disguise. Seriously, it was so bad it was offensive. "You aren't fooling anyone, idiot!"

"Hehe, I'm impressed you saw through this! The rumours about you are true, after all," he said, grinning deviously. "Hey, I'll let you be my boss!

 _Oh geez, what kind of rumours are spread in a ninja village?_

"That's not how it works," I frowned. "You don't get to choose who your boss is. It's the other way around, and I don't wanna be yours."

"Come on!" he whined, and my goodness did he have a shrill pre-pubescent voice. "You gotta teach me how you defeated Gramps! Please, Boss!"

 _Calling me Boss just makes me feel old._

"As if a little runt like you can learn an advanced technique like that!" I scoffed, putting on an arrogant front. The last thing I was going to do was teach the Hokage's grandson how to make Molotovs. "You've gotta prove yourself, first. How can I trust a brat like you with any secret techniques if you wear a giant scarf like that? You're making it way too easy for your enemies to choke you!"

To make my point, I grabbed the back of Konohamaru's scarf and tugged violently, causing him to lurch back with a yelp and thrash desperately.

"You'd be dead meat," I grumbled, letting him go before I accidentally choked him to death. "If you can prove that you've got even half a brain, maybe then I'll teach you a thing or two!" I declared, resting my hands on my hips.

For a moment, Konohamaru was so quiet I was worried I had actually choked him unconscious.

 _Maybe I should avoid pulling shit like that. I barely remember how to perform CPR._

"That's a promise!" he suddenly yelled, pointing a tiny finger at me. "I'll make you notice me no matter what! All I have to do is take off this scarf, right?!"

Poor kid nearly choked himself trying to pull it off so quickly.

 _Trust me kid, senpai ain't gonna notice you that way._

"It's not just that! You need to figure out these simple things yourself, moron!" I yelled, wondering if I was being too intuitive for my reputation as the village's #1 Knucklehead Idiot.

"What about you? Your orange clothes aren't stealthy at all!"

"That's different!" I snapped, knowing full well that they really weren't. I had plans for the outfit, though, and changing the colour scheme came later. "Unlike you, I'm good enough to take my enemies by surprise, even when I'm dressed like this." I internally patted myself on the back for my Protagonist-like idiotic boasting.

"Fine! I'll show you that I'm a great ninja, and then you'll _have_ to teach me your techniques!" he shouted.

"We'll see about that," I said, shoving him aside as I walked by him. "Now leave me alone. I'm busy thinking of super cool techniques that you'll never get to learn!"

Before Konohamaru could complain any more, I spun around and stuck my tongue out at him before sprinting off as fast as I could, which was gradually nearing up to standard academy student speed. That exit felt childish enough to make up for any suspiciously uncharacteristic insight on actually being a good shinobi, and hopefully it was.

 _With any luck, that'll start him on a path less moronic and more productive._

By the time I was done eating my last pack of instant ramen, it was a little past noon. I had the rest of the day off, so I decided it was time I got myself caught up on how the world worked. If I wanted to make it seem like I grew up here, I needed the appropriate knowledge of the culture, the roads, the food – everything. Protagonist's memories were giving me an idea, but if I was going to meet my team in the next day or two, I had to speed things up a little. Fortunately, I knew just the way to do it. Unfortunately, I was still missing a necessary precaution.

"Alright team, listen up!" I faced five copies of myself, each one standing at attention and saluting like soldiers at boot camp. "If I'm going to act like I grew up here, I'm going to need the knowledge to back it up. Before I send you out to gather intel, though, we need to figure out how the Transformation Technique works. People will get suspicious if they see the Village Idiot running around actually trying to educate herself. I haven't convinced anybody that I'm capable of having that much common sense yet, so this is our priority."

"The technique seems simple enough. We just have to picture the person we wanna transform into and then poof, right?" one of my clones asked.

"Let's hope it's that easy," I sighed. "If we got this cloning jutsu working, though, I'm sure we can figure everything else out in time. Anyway, I'll leave you guys to it. I need buy groceries before my stomach eats itself."

Finding a place to buy groceries in the first place was a chore in itself. Apparently Protagonist didn't make enough grocery runs for it to really stick in his memories, which said a lot about how bad his diet really was.

 _Seriously, should I get my blood pressure checked?_

I figured it was Kurama's regenerative power that kept Protagonist, and now me, from getting heart attacks at age twelve, but one could never be too careful. There would be enough things trying to kill me in the future, and I didn't need my own body being one of those things.

Once I _did_ find the market, the next chore was to actually find anybody willing to sell things to me.

"You here to set my store on fire, too?" one of them snarled as I approached the entrance. "Get away; I don't need you causing trouble for my customers!"

"I just need a few things," I mumbled, not wanting to attract any more attention than the shopkeep already was. So much for that, though, considering anybody within twenty feet of us was looking over now.

"Then find it somewhere else! You're a shinobi, aren't you? Go hunt some animals in the forest; just don't burn it down while you're in there!"

I glowered and bit the inside of my cheeks to keep myself from yelling back at them. And then I realized that yelling was exactly what Protagonist would do.

"Fine!" I snapped, taking a step forward. It probably didn't help my reputation as the Demon Child, but it sure was satisfying to see the shopkeeper jump back. "I don't need your stupid food, anyway! I bet it's all rotten and makes people sick!"

I made fierce eye contact with the shopkeeper before storming off, ignoring everybody's stares burning into my back.

 _Maybe this is why Protagonist never came here._

Hateful villagers or not, I needed to get food _somehow_. I'd trashed all of Protagonist's perishable foods (most of them had already gone bad and if I left it any longer, they probably would have eaten me instead). At that point, I was really starting to considering what the shopkeeper had said and find a place to hunt. Too bad I had no idea how to do that.

"Satoko?"

I lit up when I saw who it was.

 _This could work, too._

"Iruka-sensei!" I exclaimed, rushing up to him. "Are you busy? Can you help me with something? Wait, no, you should be in the hospital! What are you doing out already? Holy crap, did you break out?!"

"One thing at a time, Satoko," he laughed, patting my shoulder. "I just got discharged."

"Already? But I thought you were gonna die! Let me see." In hyperactive concerned Protagonist fashion, I ran around Iruka and insistently tried to lift his shirt to check the wound. "I bet they were just trying to kick you out to make room for some stupid jounin or something." A jounin named Kakashi, maybe.

"Hold on—Satoko!" the chuunin cried, spinning around and grabbing my wrists. "I'm fine! It was a deep wound, but it didn't hit any vitals. I appreciate your concern, but I'm okay." He set my arms down and smiled gently. "Promise."

Despite knowing that he really was all right, I squinted at him suspiciously for a moment.

"…Yeah, I guess you are built to last," I nodded thoughtfully. It'd be pretty pathetic if every other shinobi went down after one back stab.

"Exactly. Us chuunin are pretty tough," he grinned. "So, what do you need help with?"

"Oh! Uh." Now that I thought about it, asking him to buy my groceries for me sounded kind of lame, but then again, so was just about everything else I had to say or do lately. "Can you...buy some stuff for me? Well, not _for_ me; I have a list and I'll give you some money, but I need you to physically buy the stuff."

Now it was Iruka's turn to look at me suspiciously, though he didn't need to ask for an explanation to get one.

"…Nobody'll let me buy stuff from them. I mean, at least now I know _why_ , but it still sucks!"

Iruka looked at me with a mix of surprise and sympathy.

"Yes, of course, I'd be happy to help you," he said with a soft smile.

"Thanks!" I held out my shopping list and some money.

He took the list and patted my head. "Wait here, alright?"

I could have sworn he was giving off killing intent as he marched towards the first stall.

"You know, I'm surprised you didn't have any ramen on that list. I thought you hated vegetables," Iruka said as we walked to his home. He said it was his job to walk _me_ home, but after watching him scold every shop owner he bought from, the least I could do was insist on letting me make sure he got back all right.

"I do!" I lied. Vegetables are awesome, but too bad Protagonist didn't agree, so I already thought of an excuse that was bound to be a recurring one. "But I'm a genin now, so I need to get stronger in every way possible, even if it means eating stuff I hate."

"Oh? That's unexpectedly mature of you, Satoko," the chuunin grinned.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing, nothing!" he laughed. "You really are growing up, huh."

"Of course I am! Next time I steal something, it'll be me who's protecting you!"

"You won't be stealing anything," Iruka scolded, flicking my head. "…But if I ever do need protecting, I'll be counting on you."

"Heh, you got it!"

It was a little crowded when I got home.

"It's been, what, two hours?" I asked, putting the groceries away. "Still no progress?"

"We're getting there," answered the clone lazing about on the bed. "…I'm taking a break."

"And how long have you been doing that," I frowned, but didn't press. "We've gotta at least be a little better than transforming into Protagonist."

"We've made _some_ progress," another clone said. "You know how that one Ditto couldn't transform completely and every Pokémon it turned into still had a Ditto face? That's basically how it is for us. Except, y'know, with our face."

"…That's better than nothing, I guess." Picturing it was a little horrifying, though. "Well, it's time for dinner, so thanks for your work up 'till now."

"You got it, Boss," a third clone said on their behalf before I dispelled them.

 _Feels kinda wrong to just use 'em like that,_ I thought warily as I heated up the stove. _I just hope they don't revolt._

Then again, if they ever did, I could just dispel them.

 _Wow. Talk about expendable._

Ninja morals were going to take some getting used to.

* * *

 **After credit scene** : Satoko gets bored and draws the Ditto face on a bunch of her stuff. Forgets about it the next morning and nearly pees herself when she finds that all her kitchenware is looking at her funny.

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	5. My Only Friend is Full Of Shit

**Summary** : Satoko learns about Konoha's stance on sexuality and greets Kakashi in only the most appropriate manner: with a bang.

* * *

Wearing a headband was uncomfortable, to say the least. I knew it was standard to wear it around one's forehead, but it was itchy and sweaty and way too tight. I had no idea how the other shinobi did it, but I certainly was in no mood to get a headache from having something tied around my head all day. It didn't help that even though my hair was short, settling above my shoulders, loose strands still managed to get caught in the knot.

I eventually tied it around my right thigh so the metal plate faced outwards and set off for the Academy.

 _All around me are familiar faces…_

Most of the Rookie 9 gang was scattered throughout the class. Hinata was sitting diligently at the front while Shino sat quietly at the back, on the other side of the room. Ino sat in front of him and was glaring at Sakura, who was yet another row in front, enjoying her victory over claiming the seat next to Sasuke.

Instead of picking a fight with Sasuke, I sat in the back row and tried very hard not to look at the few girls hovering by his table. No way was I dealing with that accidental kissing bullshit. I'd read more than enough about Beatlemania to know what fans were capable of, and I had no desire to learn what _ninja_ fans could do.

 _Keeping my distance was definitely a good call._

With a sigh, I watched in silence as some of the other girls glowered at Sakura for taking the seat next to Sasuke.

 _…Wait a second._

As I scanned the class, I realized that it wasn't just girls who were giving her the stink-eye.

"Are those…fanboys?" I murmured to myself.

Well, that was certainly an unexpected surprise. A pleasant surprise, but unexpected nevertheless.

"Now here's something I thought I'd never see," a rather arrogant-sounding voice came from beside me. "Oi, Satoko, don't you usually spend your mornings having your love rejected by Sakura? Don't tell me you're intimidated by Sasuke, heh."

 _Holy crap! It's Akamaru! Puppy! Precious puppy! Dog! Look at him! Look at the puppy! Oh my god this is the best day of my—_ I only just registered what Kiba had said and quirked my brow. _Wait, I still obsess over Sakura? But I'm not even…_

Huh. Well, then.

Before I could respond with a sarcastic remark, images of Kiba and Protagonist getting in trouble and playing in forests flashed through my memories. Despite the many blanks, it seemed like they got scolded a lot together while they were growing up.

 _What the fuck, Protagonist. Sasuke is by no means your only friend._

Honestly. He clearly had at least a handful of academy students to play with, even if I couldn't place a name or face in the memories just yet. Sure, he and Sasuke shared a special understanding or something, but that didn't mean Sasuke was his Only Friend. Talk about melodramatic.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Kiba grinned, taking the seat next to me.

"As if!" I snapped, realizing that I still hadn't responded. "I just don't wanna embarrass him in front of everybody when I beat him!" Which wasn't particularly wrong, either. The whole kissing thing wasn't exactly Sasuke's most graceful moment.

Since I was already talking to Kiba, I figured I might as well take the opportunity to confirm something about the village, and maybe the rest of the countries in general. "Besides, why would I want to confess to Sakura-chan? She's a girl!"

Akamaru whined and Kiba looked at me really, really weird. Then he sniffed me.

 _I don't know how I feel about that._

"Not an imposter…" he murmured. "You feeling okay?"

 _…Interesting._

I decided to push it a little further. Any uncharacteristic behavior I displayed with this experiment wouldn't be so severe that it would make Kiba suspect me forever. Probably.

"I'm fine! I just don't get why you think I'd confess to her. We're both girls, y'know."

Kiba squinted at me.

"…So?"

Akamaru barked.

 _Veeeeery interesting._

I continued the act to get information. "A girl liking another girl is just weird," I muttered, sinking onto the table.

"Since when?" Kiba asked, getting more and more confused and surprisingly irritated. "You sound a lot like a civilian right now. You haven't been eavesdropping on their gossip, have you? Oi, Shikamaru, are you hearing this?"

 _What the- was he always there?_

Shikamaru barely even glanced at Kiba as he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Don't drag me into this."

Another wave of memories came back to me, this time focusing on a younger Shikamaru. A lot of them filled in some blanks with my memories of Kiba, most of which involved running from academy teachers and getting held after class for being brats.

 _Heh, good times, apparently._

"Things like who you love don't matter," Chouji answered in Shikamaru's place. "It has nothing to do with being a good shinobi, after all."

The few remaining blanks around my memories of Shikamaru and Kiba were filled once I looked over to Chouji.

 _Seriously though, no friends my ass._

And when I thought about it, it made sense that of all the academy students, the kids who happened to spend time with Protagonist were made up of those three.

They were clan children, after all. Even if the civilians wanted nothing to do with the Demon Child, the clans would have a different opinion, since they weren't ignorant and thus fearful. For all I knew, Tsume, Shikaku, and Chouza encouraged their kids to befriend Protagonist, or at least didn't discourage them, even if half of what they did involved getting in trouble together.

"…Yeah, I guess civilians say some pretty stupid things," I finally answered now that I was through with confirming the whole sexuality thing.

I wasn't sure if the whole ordeal really was a civilian issue or not, but it was good to know that homophobia at least wasn't an issue within the shinobi ranks, and it did actually make sense. So long as the village's shinobi could carry out their missions, nobody had any reason to get all nosy about who they might be developing whatever sort of relationship with, intimate or otherwise.

Whether society was okay with it or not, though, that didn't mean I wanted to pretend I had a thing for Sakura, so I tried to talk my way out of it.

"But I still don't want her to like me; not _that_ way! I just want her to take me seriously. She's super smart and always learns techniques the fastest. Why wouldn't I admire that? She's so cool!"

 _I say while thinking about Shippuden Sakura, because while the current Sakura may be a fast learner, she is definitely not cool._

"You expect me to believe that the past, what, five years of telling Sakura how great she is at everything and how pretty she is and how you greet her practically every morning with your annoying _Sakura-cha~an_ was just because of some admiration?" Kiba asked skeptically, grossly imitating my voice as he did so.

 _Wow, uh… Guess denying that doesn't really fit at all with Protagonist's past behaviour, huh._

Nevertheless, I pursed my lips and nodded slowly. "…Yes."

"Uh huh. Whatever you say," Kiba grinned, as if he knew something about me that I didn't. All things considered, he probably did.

If the Inuzuka had anything else to say, it would have had to wait, because Iruka walked in at that moment. The class quieted, eyes fixed on the papers in his hand.

"Good morning, everybody," he greeted with a smile. "Starting today, you're all real ninjas, but you're still just genin. The hard part has only just begun. Soon, you'll be assigned missions by the village."

Some genin started whispering excitedly amongst themselves at the mention of missions. I tried to look piqued as well, despite already knowing that the missions Iruka was talking about were just hard labour.

"Which is why today we'll be putting you into teams of three, each one led by a jounin sensei. You'll follow your new sensei's instructions as you complete these missions."

Still, when he put it that way, it was no wonder the genin were getting all excited. Surely the mention of any higher-ranked shinobi got a kid's blood running.

"I'm going to read out your teams, so listen carefully! Team One..."

The reactions were mixed as Iruka read out the teams - a combination of curious whispering, annoyed muttering, and excited grinning. I breathed deeply as I prepared myself to be characteristically obnoxious once Team Seven was called.

"Next, Team Seven," the chuunin read nonchalantly. "Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Satoko-"

"Yes!" I stood up and threw my arm into the air, ignoring Kiba's annoyingly smug You're-So-Totally-In-Love-With-Sakura grin.

"-and Uchiha Sasuke."

" _What?!"_ I cried in unison with Sakura's cheer. "Iruka-sensei! Why does a super great ninja like me have to be teamed up with that limp noodle?!"

The chuunin sighed heavily and frowned at me. "Sasuke passed with top scores out of the twenty-seven graduates, while you were dead last! We have to do this to balance the teams, understand?"

I scowled as bitterly as I could before plopping back into my seat, ignoring the snickering around me as Iruka finished listing all the teams.

"We'll introduce the jounin sensei this afternoon," Iruka said once he was done. "Take a break until then."

Instead of trying to ambush Sasuke and using his face to try and kiss Sakura (though unlike Protagonist, I would have succeeded since I actually cleaned out the fridge and got rid of that bad milk), I decided to take a walk around the Academy and the surrounding area.

The building itself was pretty standard. Classrooms were lined down most of the halls, and the more I wandered, the more memories of the building's layout came back to me.

 _I guess experiencing things first hand speeds up the memory process._ It would explain why a rush of memories about Kiba, Shikamaru, and Chouji came back when I saw them respectively.

After a couple of turns guided by vague, resurfacing memories, I found the open-walled training area where Rock Lee and Sasuke duked it out. There were three target posts set up on one side of the room and the sun cast long shadows into the room, making it seem far bigger and spacious than it really was.

"Nice place," I murmured. According to his memories, though, Protagonist didn't spend much time training here. "...I wonder if I should..."

I glanced around a little before walking up to the posts. There were scratches and holes all over the them, but otherwise they seemed to be in relatively good shape, probably because they got replaced so much.

"...I wonder if I should give it a shot."

It took a couple of days to get used to leaving the house with _several very sharp weapons,_ let alone getting used to holding and throwing them. I forgot it was something I should really know how to do until I saw the posts.

After looking around to make sure nobody was nearby one more time, I carefully pulled out a shuriken and stared at it intently.

 _How does this even... Is it like darts? Frisbee, maybe?_

Some vague memories of Protagonist throwing them were starting to resurface, but he never really had the best aim, per se. I swallowed and figured that if I was already Dead Last, it wouldn't really matter if somebody saw me mess up.

"Well, it can't hurt to try," I said, taking a few steps back.

I was wrong.

" _OW_ \- mother _fucker-!_ "

Not only did the shuriken wobble through the air like a deadbeat sugar glider and hit the base of the post with a depressing _thunk_ and _clang_ , but it also thought it'd go ahead and try taking off my _entire index finger._

I continued to swear under my breath as I clenched my hand against my stomach, watching as blood stained my jacket and dripped all over the polished hardwood.

"Ow- shit- _ow!_ " The gash went from my knuckle and between my index and middle finger, which made it sting every time I moved my fingers even a little bit. "Okay, so that's definitely enough of that."

 _I thought Protagonist was supposed to be a fast healer, so heal, damn it!_

The wound showed no signs of closing anytime soon, however, so I held my hand close to my stomach, pocketed the bloodied shuriken, and rushed back to the classroom in search of Iruka.

 _So much for a break; I didn't even get a chance to eat._

"Satoko!" Iruka gasped and rushed the moment he saw my bloodstained shirt. "What happened?!"

"I, uh, tried to throw a shuriken," I laughed sheepishly.

He stared at me as though he was waiting for me to say more, but I just glanced away, still holding my wounded hand with the other.

"That's all?" he eventually asked, heading back to his desk to get a first aid kit. "You don't normally make simple mistakes like this. You're usually fine with the Transformation Technique, too. Are you feeling okay lately, Satoko?"

 _Between waking up in what I know as a fictional world and trying to accept that death could be around any corner? No, not really, but I don't think I can tell you that._

"I'm as great as ever!" I lied. "No need to worry about me, Iruka-sensei. Every great ninja has an off day; I've just had a few of them in a row, is all."

"If you say so," he smiled, thankfully not pressing any further. "Now show me your hand."

I obediently stuck it out and winced as he gently parted my fingers to examine it.

"Why were you practising, anyway? That isn't much like you, either."

 _Wow. Protagonist really set some low expectations, huh._

"I thought I might train a little during the break. Y'know, warm up a little in case I gotta impress my jounin sens- _OW!_ " I immediately tensed up as he dabbed the wound with rubbing alcohol and fought the urge to pull my hand back. "You could've warned me, Iruka-sensei!"

"You're a genin now; a little sting should be nothing for you," he scolded, showing no mercy in cleaning the wound. "There! You still have some time until the jounin arrive, so go home and change quickly. You don't want to be late to meet them, after all."

I resisted the urge to laugh and instead nodded while rubbing my bandaged finger.

"Thanks, Iruka-sensei. I'll be back before you know it!"

 _Not._

The first thing I did was head home and scrub as much blood out before letting the stain soak hot water. Nothing else was stained and the weather was nice, so I did one last bloodstain check on my dark blue T-shirt and signature bright orange pants before grabbing a pork bun on my way out.

My next stop was a store where Protagonist would normally get his paint for Defacing Hokage Monument purposes. The store owner was a very laidback young woman named Takumi who seemed to be wildly amused by his antics, so she was fortunately okay with selling him things despite knowing what kind of things they'd probably be used for.

 _Good to know there are people other than Ramen Guy Teuchi who don't hate on Protagonist._

"Welcome back, Sato- _oooh_ , you got your headband!" She leaned over the counter excitedly, causing a strand of hair to fall between her eyes. "That means you're a genin now, huh!"

"Yeah, I'm a real ninja now!" I grinned proudly, twisting my hips to point the headband at her.

"Oho ~ Too bad I don't give shinobi discounts. Anyway, it's little soon for another prank, don'tcha think? They're still fixing up the Palace from the fire."

"Hey! That was-" I cut myself off, not quite sure how to explain myself. It wasn't exactly an accident per se, but… I pressed my lips into a firm line and shook my head. "I'm not planning on setting anything on fire this time, if that's what you mean."

"Haha, that's good to know! You sure liven things up in this village, Sato-chan, but I can't really afford to have this place shut down if anything destructive traces back to here. I don't have a license to sell that kinda stuff."

"Don't worry, Neechan," I answered as I browsed the aisles. "I'm just looking for- this!"

I jogged up to the counter and dug up enough change for exact payment.

"Oh ~ Looks like you're up to something fun. A celebration, maybe?"

"Kinda, yeah! I'm meeting my jounin sensei today," I grinned proudly as she rang up the items.

Takumi paused for a moment before she quirked her brow.

" _Oooh~_ A little welcoming gift, huh?"

 _More like raising Protagonist's pranking standards for my own sake so Kakashi has even the slightest reason to have even an iota of hope in me._

"Well, here you go, Sato-chan." She gave my purchase to me in a small bag and grinned, flashing the hole where her upper right canine should be. "Tell me how it goes!"

"You'll be the first to know!" I waved goodbye and took the scenic route back to the academy.

The very _long_ scenic route.

When I showed up at the Academy two hours later, only Sasuke and Sakura were left in the room.

"Satoko!" Sakura looked understandably disappointed when she realized I was the one at the door. "Where were you?"

 _Eh… I guess I should at least phase out Protagonist's crush on Sakura instead of just pretending it never happened._

"Huh? You don't normally ask that kinda stuff of me-" I paused and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, grinning. "Could… Could it be that you were worried about me, Sakura-ch-"

"As if!" She whacked me upside the head. "I just don't want our new sensei to get a bad impression because you were doing something stupid again!"

"Ow!" I rubbed my head as I took a seat at the table closest to the door. "That's just mean."

 _Yeesh, how the hell does Protagonist not get a concussion after getting hit all the time? Especially by Shippuden Sakura. They oughta call me Konoha's #1 Hardheaded Ninja instead._

There was a brief moment of silence as I emptied my bag of purchases on the desk. Sakura did a doubletake when she glanced over, immediately zeroing in on the bottles of-

"Glitter?" What's _that_ for?" she asked skeptically. "You'd better not be trying to pull another stupid prank; you'll get us all in trouble!"

Despite her words, I could totally see the glint in her eyes that told me Inner Sakura was so into this kinda thing.

"It's not a prank," I retorted as I folded up some paper into little packets. "I just wanna test 'em a little bit. Y'know, see what jounin are made of!"

"They're elite ninja; they won't fall for a stupid prank," Sasuke scoffed, finally joining in on the conversation.

 _Well, duh,_ I wanted to say, but instead focused on my folding. It did feel incredibly childish to go through with a prank despite knowing how unimpressed Kakashi would be, but if he was going to let himself get pranked on purpose, I sure as hell wasn't going to skip out on it.

"That's right!" Sakura quickly agreed, clearly enjoying the fact that he was agreeing with her, more or less.

I continued to ignore their objections as I emptied the glitter into a total of eight packets. "You'll thank me for this later," I grinned, taping them shut.

The last step was taping them between the sliding door and the doorframe, which I did as quickly as I could so I could take a seat and enjoy the show.

"What's that supposed to be, anyway?" Sakura frowned, but before I could answer, the door opened.

All eight packets were torn apart.

Glitter exploded _everywhere._

 ** _I lost my shit._**

"SATOKO!" Sakura immediately scolded despite the fact that she was clearly enjoying this as much as I was. She bowed her head at the jounin and held her hands up to her face. "I'm so sorry, Sensei! I tried to stop her, but…"

Sasuke appeared to be just as speechless, though I wasn't sure whether it was because Kakashi had fallen for the prank (or at least pretended to, as far as I knew) or because of the prank itself. Either way, he stared at the door with widened eyes and parted lips, unsure of how to react.

The glitter eventually settled.

In the doorway stood a glistening, shiny Kakashi.

There was a long silence, save for my really poor attempt at stifling my laughter.

He didn't move. All he did was blink. Glitter sprinkled from his eyelashes.

Finally, he spoke.

"Hm… Genin standards are much lower than I remember."

There was a trail of glitter sparkling behind Kakashi, leading up to where he was seated on the railing. I had mostly calmed down by then, but it was really hard to not burst into laughter when one of Konoha's elite jounin was sitting _right there_ covered in _glitter._

 _The only way I'm topping this is if the next person I glitter bomb is Madara._

Now _that_ would be one hell of a sight.

"Ok, let's begin with some introductions," Kakashi said, interrupting my daydreams of sparkling Uchihas.

"Sensei, shouldn't you, uh," Sakura trailed off, eyes fixated on the glitter. When Kakashi simply looked at her, expecting her to finish her thought, she cleared her throat and switched topics. "I mean, what do you want to know?" she asked nervously, clearly having a hard time making eye contact.

The jounin hummed in thought. "How about… your likes, your dislikes, dreams for the future, hobbies; stuff like that."

"Shouldn't you introduce yourself, first?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him. "We already know each other."

Kakashi eyed me for a brief moment; a slight pause before he decided to comply.

"Oh, me? My name is Hatake Kakashi."

"Pfft, more like Kirakashi," I snorted under my breath.

"Shut up!" Sakura hissed.

"I don't really feel like telling you about my likes or dislikes," he drawled, looking very bored and very unimpressed in true Kakashi-like fashion. "Dreams for the future...? Haven't really thought about that. I have lots of hobbies…"

Us three genin side-eyed each other skeptically.

"So, all we learned…" Sakura whispered, "...was his name?"

"Now it's your turn. Let's start from the right," Kakashi said, shifting his one-eyed gaze to me.

I pretended that glitter wasn't sprinkling from every part of him every time he moved.

"That's me!" I grinned widely. "My name's Uzumaki Satoko! I like sweets and desserts. What I like even more is when Iruka-sensei buys me food! I don't like having to cook myself."

I could have gone with Protagonist's original ramen glorification speech, but I really wasn't that big of a fan of ramen. At least, I probably wouldn't be able to force myself through a dozen bowls like he always did.

"My dream," I continued, leaning forward excitedly, "is to become a ninja so great that the village will have to accept me as their Hokage; one that surpasses all the past Hokage!"

I always thought Protagonist had his dream in the wrong order. After all, a shinobi has to be acknowledged before they can be considered as a Hokage candidate.

Kakashi kept his gaze on me for a moment, probably reading my expression and body language for whatever cues a jounin looks for in a potential student who is also his late sensei's daughter and a jinchuuriki and also made glitter explode in his face.

There was _so much goddamn glitter._ How was I supposed to ignore it?

"I see…" the jounin eventually murmured, scratching his head. "Next."

I shifted awkwardly as I glanced over to Sasuke, suddenly very aware of his presence, which I could have sworn just became twice as dark and brooding.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are lots of things I dislike, and I don't really like anything. I can't really call it a dream, but… I have an ambition; the resurrection of my clan, and…" He paused for just a second, though whether it was because he was getting angry over the thought of Itachi or hesitating to share, I couldn't tell. "...To kill a certain man."

The air was heavy. Sakura was looking away, staring at her feet as a faint blush swept across her cheeks. Kakashi's eye was slightly narrowed, likely thinking about how that was expected of Sasuke.

"...Dude," I said, breaking the silence. It was time take my first step in my Get Sasuke To Calm His Shit plan. I had to choose my words wisely. "You gotta chill."

 _Nailed it._

I was unsurprised to see both Sasuke and Sakura glaring at me, though it figures that only the latter spoke up.

"Hey! Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!"

I almost told Sakura to chill, but she was definitely the kind of person to get even more riled up if told to calm down, so instead I said, "But I'm not wrong!"

"Ok," Kakashi said in a voice just a tad louder than usual, "lastly, you on the left."

Sakura immediately turned her attention back to the jounin and straightened up. "Oh! My name is Haruno Sakura. The thing I like is… Well, the person I like is..." her blush came back and she began to fidget while very obviously glancing at Sasuke, "and, uhm, my dream for the future…?"

 _Oh my god, somebody make her stop._

Saying that Sakura was the easiest to beat some sense into didn't mean much after hearing her infamous introduction in person. Not only was she tearing away at my massive pet peeve of _unfinished sentences fucking hell_ , her squealing was driving me up the wall.

 _I'm so sorry Kishimoto made you this way._

"What I dislike… is Satoko," she said with a disgusted face.

"What?!"

Kakashi sighed, looking as bored and unimpressed as-

 _Wait, that's not it._

Well, he did look unimpressed, but his gazed lingered on her just like it did after mine and Sasuke's introductions - slightly narrowed, with a hint of curiosity and concern.

 _I guess any jounin would be worried if their new student was more interested in a boy than being a shinobi._

Something told me that there was more to it, but… Well, I was in no position to even try reading the one-eyed expression of an elite jounin.

"That's all for today," Kakashi said, resting his chin on his hand. "Tomorrow, we'll start our duties as shinobi."

 _Ah, yes; survival training._

I leaned back on my hands as he explained what it was, saying that he would be our opponent and all that jazz. Having heard and read all of that several times before, I tuned it out until he got to the part where only 9 of the 27 graduates would actually become genin.

"What?!" I shouted, shuffling forward in my seat. "Then what was the point of graduating?!"

 _And how the hell do they sustain the shinobi forces with only nine new genin at a time?_

"Oh, that? That was just to select those who have a chance to become genin," Kakashi smiled and shifted back against the railing, causing more glitter to bounce off him. "Anyway, you have to show your real skills on the training ground tomorrow, so bring all the shinobi tools you have."

 _Should I… Should I make more Molotovs…?_

"Oh, and skip breakfast. You might throw up." He conjured up three sheets of paper seemingly out of nowhere as he walked towards us. "The details are on this paper. Don't be late tomorrow."

"You're one to talk," I grumbled, taking one of the sheets and cracking a smile when I noticed it was now decorated in glitter.

 _Oh man, he'll be so much easier to track if he can't wash it off by tomorrow._

Until then, it was time grab a few things on my way home and cook some shit up.

* * *

 **After credit scene** : It's been three hours. The water has long-since gone cold, but Kakashi continues to shower. The glitter won't come out. He fears that it will never come out.

Check out my tumblr youridiotwriter for excerpts/art/etc. if that's you're kinda thing 8)


	6. Plan in the Ass

**Summary** : Satoko temporarily claims the role of Mom Friend and also the bell test happens.

* * *

With foreknowledge of what was to come, I spent all evening making preparations for the Bell Test. It was a busy evening, but I got a decent five hours of sleep that night before my alarm scared me awake. Despite knowing that Kakashi would be hours late yet again, I arrive at the training field relatively on time to see that Sasuke and Sakura were already there. I had some business with them, first.

"Good morning…" I drawled, slumping down by their feet.

"You changed your outfit," Sakura noted as she stood over me.

I immediately perked up and grinned. "D'you like it? It's pretty nice, right?" I held out my arms, showing off my new fingerless gloves.

I wore them over long wristbands that went up to my elbows. The material was kind of like chainmail, except instead of individual metal rings, it was more like reinforced mesh made of some kind of synthetic alloy. In any case, the stuff was so common it could even be found in civilian clothing shops, and it came in practically every style of clothing for any shinobi's light armour needs.

"Anything is better than an orange jumpsuit," she said critically, looking me up and down. "Almost."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped. "This outfit is great!"

The jacket itself was still mostly orange. It didn't feel right to cut out Protagonist's signature colour altogether, even if it wasn't the stealthiest colour around. Besides, orange actually looked good with my new hair and darker skin tone, so I didn't mind wearing it as much as before.

I settled for a sleeveless jacket to wear over my new mesh tank top. The jacket's edges were highlighted in blue. The pockets matched, and there were two diagonal blue lines cutting from my shoulder down to the middle of the jacket that would form a V shape if I zipped it up.

"Why did you change, anyway? You always complained when Iruka-sensei told you to find something more appropriate."

"I'm glad you asked!" I jumped onto my feet and proudly set my hands on my hips. "Now that I'm a genin, it only makes sense to change it up a little. I'm a whole new person, after all. If I'm going to be a ninja, I oughta dress more like one!"

Sakura blinked. "Huh… That's unexpectedly reasonable of you, Satoko."

 _Why does everybody keep saying stuff like that?_

I decided not to comment on that and gave her a once-over. "Speaking of dressing like a ninja, shouldn't you reconsider going around in a qipao? It's pretty, but those don't give a lot of breathing room, and your arms and legs are a little bare, dontcha think?"

"What?!" she hissed. "My clothes are fine! Right, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke looked like he was debating whether or not he should bother answering. Eventually, he did.

"All you're doing is making it easier for your opponents to injure you," he said flatly. "A proper shinobi doesn't prioritize appearance over practicality."

Sakura immediately looked dejected and I bit my bottom lip. Whether it was a proper critique or not, it probably hurt to hear it from her crush.

"Somebody as amazing as Sakura-chan could definitely manage both!" I declared, glaring at Sasuke. "Right, Sakura-chan? I can help you find a new outfit!"

"I can manage on my own!" she retorted. "Unless… Since you know more about this stuff, Sasuke-kun, maybe you'd like to help me instead…?"

The Uchiha furrowed his brow and turned away. "You shouldn't need help with something so simple."

Somehow, Sakura managed to look even more dejected than before.

 _Oh, man, we really need to do something about her self-esteem. It doesn't help that a_ lot _of it depends on this asshole._

Maybe it was time to take matters into my own hands.

"Hey, you don't have to be so rude about it!" I snapped, taking a step towards him.

"You were the one who brought it up," he bit out, annoyed.

"You're the one who made her feel bad!"

"You criticized her, first!" Now he was facing me, arms crossed and jaw clenched.

" _Constructive_ criticism! At least I'm offering to help!"

"Unlike you, I don't have time to waste on stupid things like that!"

"H-Hey, cut it out!" Sakura stammered in a weak attempt to break us up.

Before either of us could say anything more, a loud growl interrupted our quarreling, and Sakura and I shifted our gaze down to Sasuke's stomach.

He clicked his tongue and turned away quickly, despite the fact that I already noticed the slight flush on his cheeks.

"...Did you not eat breakfast?" I asked, straightening up.

"That's none of your business," he muttered.

"Kakashi-sensei told us not to," Sakura said, her hand idly rubbing at her own empty stomach.

I made a face at both of them and dropped my bag on the ground. "Doesn't mean you're supposed to listen! What kind of idiot shinobi doesn't eat before training?!" I yelled, hastily unzipping my bag.

Granted, I knew this was coming, but keeping up with the theatrics was necessary and also kind of fun.

"But he said we'd throw up!" Sakura reminded.

"Oh, boohoo! You think it's any better to starve all morning, instead? Even if you do throw up, all you gotta do is drink some water and get right back to it." I pulled out two bento boxes I spent the evening preparing and held one out to each of them. "I thought Kakashi-sensei might be super late again and I didn't wanna get hungry while waiting, so I brought a second breakfast with me. You're lucky I thought to pack extra, just in case!"

Sakura stared at the bento box. Her hands twitched and it looked like she was about to take hers until she saw Sasuke jerk his head away again.

"I'm fine."

"M-Me too!" Sakura stammered, crossing her arms. "I wouldn't want to eat anything _you_ cooked! I'm on a diet, anyway."

I huffed impatiently and shoved the bento boxes at them again. "You remember what Kakashi-sensei said, right? He's gonna be our opponent! Sasuke, don't you wanna be at full strength when fighting against a _jounin?_ And Sakura, you won't be impressing anybody today either if you're too busy starving yourself to death."

 _Is unhealthy dieting also from civilian influence? I find it hard to believe any sensei with even half a brain would let that continue if they knew about it._

The two of them look at the bento boxes again, and I had to wonder just how poorly they thought of Protagonist to still give it a second thought after hearing what I thought were some pretty valid points.

"...Hn," Sasuke eventually grunted and took the box.

Sakura followed shortly afterwards and refused to make eye-contact when she said, "Thanks."

I grinned, proudly setting my hands on my hips. "What're teammates for?"

She huffed and pressed her lips together. "This better not be a prank."

The three of us took a seat and unwrapped the boxes to reveal the rice, eggs, and mixed vegetables packed inside. It was simple, because that was pretty much as far as my cooking went, but it was better than nothing.

"Itadakimasu," my teammates said quietly, which I quickly repeated under my breath after being reminded of the change in cultural etiquette.

"Oh? This is pretty good," Sakura said after a bite of rice, clearly surprised that the food was even edible.

"The vegetables are a surprise," Sasuke murmured.

"Aw, c'mon, have a _little_ faith in me," I whined, flicking a grain of rice at him.

His eyebrow twitched in annoyance as the grain stuck to his face, but I was certain I wasn't imagining his little smirk as he picked it off.

 _That's what I'm talkin' about. Social Link, go!_

The sun was well up in the sky by the time Kakashi finally showed up. Sasuke had stubbornly insisted on standing alert once he was done eating, though Sakura and I had long since dozed off, leaning against his legs and each other so we didn't fall over.

I vaguely registered Kakashi's footsteps as he approached and groaned, yawning loudly as I slumped forward to look up at him.

Alertness quickly settled in and Sakura and I jumped to our feet.

"You're late!"

"Sorry, sorry! I got lost on the road of life."

 _Oh god, it's even more lame when you hear it in person._

Kakashi dropped his bag next to the centre training post and placed the alarm clock on top of it.

"Okay, it's set for noon," he said as he set it with a light tap.

He then pulled out the legendary two bells and jingled them in front of us. I furrowed my brows, mimicking the confusion that Sasuke and Sakura displayed, but really I was more focused on the sparkles in his hair that were catching light every now and then.

"Your task is to take these two bells from me before time's up. I was going to say that whoever doesn't get a bell by noon won't get lunch, but…" His half-lidded eye gazed towards the empty bento boxes piled next to our bags. "...Well, it seems like you three already failed to follow my instructions."

It was impossible to tell what he was thinking - whether he truly was annoyed or if he was just putting on an act - but it made Sakura fidget nervously and it twisted my stomach into a knot.

 _Yeesh, I'm pretty sure that should get us some teamwork points, but his expression is telling me… yep; nothing. Go figure._

"Maa, I guess that doesn't really matter. What's important is that you only have to get one bell. The third person who doesn't get a bell will fail, so at least one of you will be sent back to the academy." His expression was dark and his hitai-ate cast a shadow over his eye, but it quickly lighted again as he continued his instruction. "If you want, you can use shuriken and kunai. You won't succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill."

"But you'll be in danger!" Sakura exclaimed, and I quickly realized what I'd probably have to do next.

 _Augh… I don't wanna embarrass myself, but I'll need Sasuke and Sakura to take him seriously if I wanna get us to work as a team._

"Yeah! You're so clueless, you couldn't even avoid my trap!" I gloated, sticking my hands in my pockets. "We'd take you down in five seconds flat!"

Kakashi stared at me with his half-lidded, unimpress look and sighed. "You know, it's usually those with no talent who bark the loudest. Well… Ignore the deadlast and start when I say-"

I gritted my teeth and shifted my foot back, ready to lunge. The technique wasn't as smooth as I wanted it to be, but after a couple of hours of training with some clones last night, I at least managed to whip out a kunai without dropping it or cutting myself and darted towards the jounin.

What happened next was so instantaneous, I barely had time to process that Kakashi had my kunai pointed at the back of my head, even though I knew it would happen.

 _H...Holy shit…!_

I knew that Kakashi's speed was supposed to shock them, and I knew he wasn't actually going to hurt me, but there was a _huge_ difference between seeing it in panels or a clip of animation and experiencing it first hand.

Every muscle in my body tensed under Kakashi's grip on my head and wrist. My heart pounded in my ears and I sucked in a deep breath when I realized I had stopped breathing.

 _Fuck... This right here is how easy it is for me to die. For_ any _of us to die._

"Calm down," he murmured with a hint of amusement in his voice. "I haven't said start yet."

I glanced back and forth between Sasuke and Sakura, thankful that my antics at least got them to realize that Kakashi was the real deal.

"It seems like you're finally prepared to come at me seriously. So, you've finally acknowledged me?"

I scoffed. My airy laugh came out borderline hysterical.

 _Haa… what the fuck did I get caught up in?_

Kakashi chuckled quietly, his voice dropping in tone. "It seems like I'm beginning to like you guys."

My breaths came out slow and ragged as Kakashi slowly loosened his grip, but didn't let go.

"Begin!"

I lurched forward to make a break for the woods. I expected to just sprint like normal, but instead nearly tripped over myself from my unexpected speed and leg power.

 _What the-?!_

I stumbled forward and darted into the trees, pressing my back against the first one I saw to conceal myself from the jounin.

 _Did Protagonist's athleticism finally catch up with me?_

I breathed deeply and clasped my hands together in attempt to stop the trembling that came with the adrenaline rush. That, on top of having a _knife_ pointed right at my _head_ … It was certainly a lot to take in at once, to say the least.

"The most important thing for a shinobi is to be able to hide yourself," I heard Kakashi say from the middle of the field.

 _The most important thing is for_ me _to find the others and get them to cooperate._ I closed my eyes and furrowed my brow. _Somehow._

Challenging Kakashi alone was probably my best bet. If I was going to even try convincing the others to cooperate, all of us first needed to realize that it's impossible to get a bell alone. At least that way, I'd get some leverage for my idea of teaming up.

When I looked over my shoulder to scan the field, though, there wasn't anywhere close enough where I could get the jump on him. Even if I sent clones, Kakashi would definitely hear them running towards him before they even took two steps. Overwhelming him with numbers was a given, but there had to be some way I could show him _and_ my teammates that I wasn't completely full of dumb ideas.

I sighed and made the Shadow Clone handsign.

 _Well... no harm, no foul. Let's do this shit._

The first clone appeared with a small burst of chakra and I handed her my weapon pouch loaded with a dozen kunai. We exchanged a silent glance before she ran off just as I whipped the first kunai at Kakashi.

"Uh… you'll need better aim than that," he said when the weapon missed him by several feet.

 _Tell me something I don't know._

I wasn't quite as focused on aiming as I was on the source of the kunai, though. A second after Kakashi spoke, another kunai flew towards him, this time from a few feet to my right. The pattern continued at a rapid pace, with each kunai coming from a location further and further away from me every other second until Kakashi's back was facing me.

The twelfth kunai flew right at him, but this time, a smoke bomb accompanied it.

"Oh? So you've finally come out of hiding," Kakashi murmured as the smoke expanded towards him. "Ninja Fighting Lesson #1: Taijutsu. I'll teach you about it."

Considering how little time I spent practicing taijutsu (that is to say, absolutely none at all - the only experience I had with taijutsu so far was beating the crap out of Mizuki), it was of no surprise when Kakashi wasted no time countering my clone.

What _did_ come as a surprise was how quickly I managed to cut across the field right as my clone disappeared, surprising the jounin from behind.

"Clones?" he gasped, spinning around to block a sloppy punch.

"Betcha didn't see that one coming, huh!" I grinned, driving my knee towards his gut.

The smoke engulfed us both, giving the perfect opportunity for eleven of my clones to come out of hiding and attack Kakashi from every possible direction.

It would have been much more effective if we didn't all immediately start coughing our guts out.

"Holy shit, bad idea," I rasped between dry coughs, desperately fanning the smoke away from my face. I dispelled my clones and broke out of the smoke, hacking violently until my lungs and throat were clear again. "Ow, okay, wow, that could've gone better."

"I know you were at the bottom of your class, but…" Kakashi's voice drawled from over my shoulder, "forgetting to hold your breath when using a smoke bomb is a little much, don't you think?"

I had only just registered where his voice was coming from when he said, "A shinobi isn't supposed to get caught from behind."

 _I knew this was coming, you creepy bastard!_

Which is why the twelfth clone didn't come out until just now and tackled Kakashi into the ground.

"Eat dirt, ya sicko!" she shouted, tumbling across the field from the momentum and promptly getting dispelled.

"HELL YEAH." I spun around just as the last of the smoke faded, expecting to see a surprised Kakashi on the ground. I really shouldn't have been surprised to find a log, instead. "Aw, hell naw."

I quickly checked my surrounding area to make sure he wouldn't try to poke my ass again or pull me underground, sighing when it didn't seem like he was coming back.

 _My ass is safe and that's all that matters. Time for phase two._

I was just getting the hang of jumping from tree to tree when Sakura's scream echoed across the field. My eyes immediately rounded and my whole body tensed, as was my usual soundless reaction to getting the shit scared out of me.

"Splendid," I muttered, heading towards the scream.

It wasn't long before the trees thinned and I found Sakura unconscious on the ground. I carefully dropped down from the tree and rushed over to shake her awake.

"Nnh…" Her eyes fluttered, but immediately snapped open when she saw me. "S-Satoko! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Hey, what's the deal?!" I jumped back in case she tried hitting me again. "I was just waking you up! You screamed and sounded like you were in trouble!"

 _Seriously, how much do you hate me? Geez._

"...Oh, " Sakura said a little guiltily before jerking into a sitting position. "Sasuke-kun! I need to go find him, he was hurt!"

"Are you sure? I saw him on my way over. He looked perfectly fine to me," I lied.

 _C'mon, Sakura, get your shit together. I swear, anything involving Sasuke cuts your brain power down by at least half._

"Yes! I saw him just now, right after Kakashi-sensei-" She cut herself off and furrowed her brow, as if just realizing that something wasn't quite right. "...It was genjutsu," she gasped, wide-eyed.

 _There we go._

"A genjutsu, huh," I repeated, tilting my head to the side. "Then that means he's fine and we don't have to look for him! Let's go find Kakashi-sensei ourselves, Sakura-chan!"

"Why would I wanna team up with you?" she snapped, pulling a disgusted face at me. "I need to make sure Sasuke-kun is okay! It was a genjutsu this time, but that doesn't mean Kakashi-sensei won't actually hurt him for real."

 _Now if only you'd show that level of concern towards me, too._

"Hrngh… I don't really care about Sasuke, but…" I muttered, crossing my arms in deep thought, "I'm coming, too!"

"Get it through your thick skull already, Satoko! I don't need you getting in my way!"

"But what if you get caught in another genjutsu?" I retorted. "It could be even worse than last time!"

Sakura frowned, but actually considered what I said like the rational person she usually wasn't when anything involved our third teammate.

"...Fine," she finally said, "but I'm not helping you if you get caught!"

 _Great teamwork there, Sakura._

I let her lead, knowing that she'd unknowingly take us straight to Sasuke, and now that she knew the injured Sasuke she was was actually just a genjutsu, she didn't pass out this time.

That didn't stop her from shrieking her guts out, though.

"O-Oh, wait, this is just a genjutsu," she sighed, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"Wh...what?" Sasuke squinted at her, and Sakura froze.

"I-It talks…!"

"Nah, I don't think this one's a genjutsu," I said, kneeling in front of Sasuke's head. "He's all grumpy and stupid-looking, just like the real Sasuke!"

I pretended not to notice the two glares directed at me.

"If you're not going to help him, then I will!" Sakura huffed, shoving me aside.

"Hold on!" I cried, hastily reaching over to grab her wrist. "We'll get him out after I tell you guys about my plan. Bastard would never listen otherwise."

"Plan?" my teammates repeated in unison.

"Yeah, my plan for us to pass the test!" I grinned.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, crossing her arms. "He only has two bells, which means only two of us can pass. Weren't you listening at all?"

I took a seat next to Sasuke's head and furrowed my brows. "I dunno… Something he said yesterday's been bugging me ever since. Don't you think it's kinda weird how he said that only nine genin can pass, but then he makes a test where at least one of us is guaranteed to fail?"

"That's true…" Sakura hummed, taking a seat so two of us were facing Sasuke's head. "If all the tests are designed like this, it would hard to guarantee that there would be exactly nine genin who pass."

"Pitting the graduates against one-another is inefficient," Sasuke added, which I interpreted as his way of reluctantly agreeing. "There's no real way to predict who passes and who fails."

"It makes way more sense to pass full teams, which are already made up of three genin who are matched based on strengths and weaknesses," Sakura agreed.

 _Huh. Guess a little nudge in the right direction really goes a long way._

"Yeah, exactly! My bet is on this," I said, leaning forward. "Kakashi-sensei isn't testing us individually - he's testing us as a _team._ "

I glanced between them, hoping to get some hint of cooperation or acknowledgement that I wasn't completely full of shit on this one.

"What makes you think I'd want to work with you?" Sasuke muttered, killing the mood as always. "You'll just get in my way."

"Yeah, _are you sure about that,_ " I rolled my eyes, sprinkling a handful of uprooted grass onto his head. "Jerk."

"Cut it out!" Sakura slapped my hand away and picked the grass out of his hair as she spoke. "Even if we work together, how would we all pass? He still only has two bells."

Despite all the conclusions they came to themselves already, apparently it was a bit much to expect that they would also figure out that the bells were irrelevant. Then again, it's not like I had any idea when I was first reading the arc, either.

"Forget about how many bells there are. What matters is getting any at all, and the only way we'd even have a chance at getting even one is if we work together, as a team." I stood up with my hands on my hips and grinned. "That's what we are now, after all; Konoha's Team 7!"

Sakura looked hesitant to say anything and instead looked towards Sasuke, who was glaring at the dirt three inches from his face as if it would give him advice.

"Why should I bother?" Sasuke finally said.

"Whaddya mean?" I frowned, not liking where this was going.

"You graduated at the bottom of our class, and Sakura, you don't have any notable techniques in the field. I'm better off trying again without your help. I already touched one."

I bit my lip, cursing his refusal to be a cooperative, less condescending person even once in a blue moon. Honestly, Sakura looked like she was on the verge of tears. Itachi _really_ fucked with Sasuke's ability to make any sort of relationship with people - as anything other than the Internationally Wanted S-Ranked Criminal, that is.

 _Think, Satoko, think… What kinda motivation gets through to this idiot? Taunting? Bribery? A good punch in the face? ...Actually that sounds about right._

I thought back on our apparent rivalry that took root during our younger years and fought back a grin.

"Well, you're not Mr. Perfect either, y'know!" I accused, making a face at Sasuke. "Just know that in three years time when I'm a jounin and you're still trying to fit your ego out the Academy doors, it's all because you didn't wanna work with us this _one time_ 'cause you think that brute strength is all you need to be a good shinobi!"

There was a pause.

Then, to my surprise, he nodded.

It was more like a twitch, actually, and he clicked his tongue as he did so, but all things considered, it was probably the best I was gonna get from him.

"Then it's settled," I said victoriously, finally deciding it was safe to help the poor guy out. "What about you, Sakura-chan? You in?"

"...Fine," Sakura said quickly, rushing over to pull Sasuke out of the ground as well, "but it better be a good plan, and you're going to have to tell us quick," she urged. "We're running out of time, and we still have to track him all over again!"

"Don't worry, the plan is simple. All it takes is a few clones and a bit of creativity. As for tracking him..." I swept my hand over the grass and opened my palm to her. Tiny sparkles glittered in the sunlight and I grinned. "That won't be a problem."

When I found Kakashi again, he was back in the field we started out in. The alarm was bound to go off soon, but not falling for the same traps as Protagonist saved enough time for us to execute the plan.

"I've got you this time!" I shouted, charging towards him from within a horde of clones.

"You know, screaming out like that ruins the purpose of an ambush," he sighed, easily countering one clone and knocking another to the side, causing both to disappear.

"I don't need an ambush to take you down!"

We all attacked relentlessly, pressuring him from every angle. The wind deafened my ears and I could barely feel my feet hit the ground every time I landed and bounced back toward him. Surely it was nothing compared to a jounin's speed, but compared to how I was just days before, I might as well have been flying.

I caught the slight narrowing of his eye when I didn't disappear after being hit.

"Clones are pointless once you know who the real one is," Kakashi drawled.

I clicked my tongue and pulled back, mixing myself into the remaining clones as I watched him destroy one clone after another. It quickly became a dull rhythm, a pattern of hitting and dispelling, until he caught one by the wrist and threw her into another. There were two puffs of smoke and he quickly turned back to continue defending himself; too quickly to realize that only one clone had disappeared.

So when she got back up and attacked him from behind, I like to think that he really didn't see it coming.

"What?" he gasped, his hands too occupied with blocking my attacks to properly turn around.

" _SHANNARO!_ "

A pink blur slammed into Kakashi and sent him stumbling right into me. I used the opportunity to make a grab at the bells, but he spun around and fell into his momentum, backflipping out of our range.

I immediately chased after him with my clones, who ignored any technical strategy in favour of just throwing themselves onto him. Kakashi was quick to shake them off, dropping low to the ground and sweeping his legs around to kick off as many clones as possible.

His eye narrowed the same way as when he struck a clone that didn't disappear, except taking caution and getting distance between them wasn't going to help.

"You're-!" Kakashi's eye rounded, but it was already too late.

I grinned, watching as the supposed clone sucked in a deep breath and exhaled a powerful blast of flames.

"Fire Style; Great Fireball Technique!"

A wave of heat slammed into me as Sakura and I rushed towards him, closing in on both sides as Kakashi jumped away from the fire.

With no where left to run but back, Sakura and I kept up the pressure as Sasuke charged through the black smoke of his fire. He jumped and slammed his leg at Kakashi, who immediately had to deflect a punch after blocking.

I almost gave in to the temptation to give a verbal cue to Sakura, but knew that the second I opened my mouth, Kakashi would know how to dodge. Instead, I took advantage of the opening and dove for the bells myself.

The sensation of the cool metal disappeared just as quickly as I'd felt it, and the next thing I knew, I was sliding across the ground.

"Ow!" I hissed, skidding to a stop.

"Sasuke-kun!"

I looked up and saw that Sasuke had been knocked aside as well, and Sakura had predictably rushed to his side.

"Hey, get off me!" he snapped, pushing her away as she tried to help him up. "Tch, I should've known you guys would be useless after all."

I clenched my teeth and hastily got back up. "It's not over yet-!"

The obnoxious blaring of the alarm clock interrupted me, and I immediately cursed under my breath.

"Well," Kakashi said rather boredly, "it is now."

"Does this mean…" Sakura started, too scared to finished her question.

Sasuke clicked his tongue and turned away. Away from the jounin, but towards me. He was glaring.

 _Wait for it…_ I wanted to say, but kept silent and stiff.

"Those were some pretty unique strategies," Kakashi admitted, hands in his pockets. "Maybe you guys aren't so hopeless after all."

"Then, all three of us..!" I started, but trailed off when I sensed the dark aura about him.

"That's right," he said with a smile that did not reach his eye. "You all fail."

Silence fell upon us, and suddenly, I found myself struggling to breathe.

 _..._ What?

* * *

 **Author's Note** : BETCHA DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMIN DID YA. _DID YA.  
_ (the only acceptable answer is "no i did not u sure did surprise me how dare")

S/O to Tozette for giving me an extra pair of eyes on this chapter along with AwayAndLaughing and putsoneinmind ilu all  
also hey lmk what you liked about this chapter! And maybe creep my tumblr at youridiotwriter 'cause I'm lonely


	7. None Client With Left Weed

**Summary** : Satoko just really wants her team to start getting along already. The Power of Friendship does not come easily.

* * *

A breeze rolled across the field. It was as if time had stopped, and came rushing back to me at once.

"T-That's impossible!" I stammered, breaking the silence like a nail on glass. "The key was teamwork, wasn't it? We attacked you as a team!"

 _Please don't tell me I just ruined their chances of becoming genin forever…_ My eyes flickered towards Sasuke and Sakura, who remained silent and motionless. _Oh man, they'd literally kill me in my sleep._

"No, you didn't." Kakashi said, back stiff and hands in his pockets. "You had me fooled, there; you really did. I almost let myself believe that you three truly understood the point of this test, but those final moments made it clear as day. In the end, I was right to doubt you brats; all three of you should quit being shinobi!"

"What?!" Sakura gasped, finally getting over her initial shock to form an audible response. "But we saw through the test - there's no point in making us compete with each other over the bells! That's why we worked together!"

"So what? That means nothing when it's the three of you," Kakashi scoffed, shaking his head. He then stared right at Sakura with a gaze so fierce, she visibly pulled back. "Sakura, all you want is to graduate with Sasuke - you don't care about Satoko at all. You so readily disregard anybody you aren't personally interested in. What if you get attacked during a mission? Is that how you'll judge whether or not you'll protect your teammates? You don't get to decide who is and isn't worth saving."

"I...I wouldn't…!"

He continued without pause, disregarding Sakura's feeble attempt at defending herself.

"Sasuke, you only cooperated with them out of personal interest; not because you had your teammates' interests at heart. It's clear to me that you don't see any value in them - to you, they're nothing but a burden. What does that mean for the future? That kind of mentality just tells me that you're willing to sacrifice your teammates for your own personal gain."

 _Just like your brother._ Those words were left unspoken, but I couldn't help but think that they were lingering at the tip of Kakashi's tongue.

Sasuke dismissed the criticism with a grunt, but I caught the way his eyes were fixed on the ground as the words sunk in, which was probably for the better. No matter how much he hated working with others, I'd hope he hated being accused of such a thing even more.

Finally, Kakashi turned to me. It took everything I had not to look away.

"Satoko, you kept yourself at a safe distance and let your teammates do all the work. You waited until there was an opening and then tried to get the bells for yourself. Is this how you plan to become Hokage? Will you make others do all the work and then take credit for it? Then again, I shouldn't be surprised if we're talking about a punk like you - all you care about is recognition."

I glanced away and swallowed.

 _Ouch. Definitely not what I was going for._

I looked down, rubbing my thumb into my palm once again. I wanted to argue, but honestly, Kakashi wasn't even wrong. I couldn't blame him, all things considered, but as much as I tried to reassure myself that he was just making hasty accusations without really getting to know us…

...Well, Sakura ended her friendship with Ino over a guy who had never even blinked at her, Sasuke abandoned and then tried to kill everybody on Team 7 at least once each, and Protagonist resorted to being a giant pain in the ass to the entire village in order to be acknowledged. Not that he knew it, but Kakashi was pretty spot on.

I nearly jumped when he spoke again.

"...Come with me." His voice was lower this time, but just as heavy. "I want to show you guys something."

Wordlessly, the three of us walked after him. I slumped behind, looking away as Sakura shot me a glare that demanded an explanation.

 _I don't know, man. I just don't fucking know,_ I wanted to say, but instead kept my mouth shut and dragged my feet behind them.

Sasuke didn't even bother with me and went straight to glaring daggers at Kakashi's back.

"Look at this," he said once we arrived at our new destination. "All these names carved into this stone are the names of ninja recognized as heroes of the village. But…they aren't just normal heroes. They are all heroes who died on duty."

There was a pause as he gently set one hand on the stone.

"This is a memorial," Kakashi continued solemnly. "My best friend's name is also carved here."

The atmosphere somehow managed to become even heavier. Sakura hung her head and Sasuke clenched his jaw, unwilling to utter a sound. I stared at the polished stone and blinked slowly, wondering how long I would have to search until I found Uchiha Obito and Nohara Rin.

"Teamwork doesn't come from a temporary truce. It comes from the desire for the team's survival. In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash," he said, facing us, "but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. If this is what it takes to get you three to work together, you're guaranteed to fail. Nothing gets you killed faster than selfishness."

I spared a glance at Sasuke and Sakura. They were both staring at the KIA stone with heavy eyes. Not that I expected anything else - from the way things were going, that was our reality. One of us could very well end up in Kakashi's position, talking to a group of genin about how our teammates died in battle because we let our pride or favouritism or incompetence get in the way of saving them.

Assuming I completely fail one year down the line and Sasuke ends up leaving anyway and I'm not fast enough to save him from killing Sakura three years after that, and then the whole world gets destroyed because I wasn't good enough to replace Protagonist.

I pressed my lips together and frowned.

Despite many, _many_ odds being against me, I was determined to change all that. I had to at least _try_ to stop everything from going to shit, and it all started with that very moment.

But just as I was about to speak, somebody beat me to it.

And of all people, it was _Sasuke._

"Hn. Only someone weak would have to leave their teammates to die," he scoffed with all the cockiness that made him the giant dick he was. "If we really are as selfish as you say, we wouldn't have gone along with Satoko's plan in the first place."

I blinked.

 _What is happening._

"Oh?" Kakashi cocked his brow as he looked me over. "I'm surprised to hear that you were the one behind all this, dead last."

"She was the one who fed us this morning!" Sakura blurted, her face quickly flushing red as she sat back on her feet. "There's nothing selfish about that, either!"

I blinked again.

 _...WHAT IS HAPPENING._

Kakashi hummed in thought and idly suck his hands in his pockets.

"So what you're both saying," he drawled, "is that Satoko is the only one who should pass?"

They both fell silent, realizing a little too late that that was pretty much what they just implied. Well, I definitely couldn't have _that_ happening - especially not after what just happened.

I bit my bottom lip and took a slow breath.

 _Let's bring it home!_

"You're wrong!" I pointed at him so hard I nearly pulled a muscle. "It's true that Sakura-chan told me I'd just be in the way, and Sasuke said that he was better off without our help, but they were the ones who really figured out what was weird about the test, and they listened to what I had to say even though they could've easily ignored me and went on their separate ways. Neither of them are as selfish as you think! That has to count for something, right?!"

My declaration rang throughout the field. A few moments of absolute silence passed, and I didn't even dare to look at Sasuke or Sakura to see what their reactions were.

"...Is that all?" Kakashi finally said, looking just as unimpressed as ever.

I felt my heart jump into my throat and I dropped my arm.

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind but... Well, I guess we have to start somewhere." He gave us all another once-over before finally, his eye crinkled with a smile. "You all pass."

There was a beat of silence, and then-

"SHANNARO!"

"Hn."

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU _THANK YOU-!_ "

Before I knew it, I had closed the distance between me and Kakashi and threw myself at him.

 _Mission Hug starts now, you traumatized dillhole!_

"Whoa- hey- careful-!" He stumbled and spun around from the momentum before carefully setting me down. "Don't get too excited - passing the test isn't even the hard part. Starting tomorrow, Team 7 will start its duties."

"You hear that?!" I exclaimed, this time rushing towards Sasuke and Sakura.

"Oi, I said don't get-"

"We're gonna do missions!" I shouted over Kakashi, blatantly ignoring him. "Admit it; the three of us make a pretty good team! We're gonna kick so much ass!"

"Shut up already!" Sakura scolded despite failing miserably at hiding her smile. "Geez, you're so embarrassing."

"You'll make the worst ninja ever if you're always this loud," Sasuke huffed, shaking his head.

"Normally I'd get annoyed by your talking, but not this time-!" I threw one arm over each of their shoulders and grinned, pulling them into an awkward hug full of resistance and struggling. "-'Cause from today onward, we're Konoha's Team 7! Right, Sensei?"

I looked up at him, pretending that the _Get off me!_ sand _Satoko, I'll kill you!_ s were falling on deaf ears.

Kakashi, despite looking mildly concerned and very tired, smiled gently.

"Yeah, that's right."

A couple of weeks of menial D-Rank missions was a lot more mind-numbing than I expected. We didn't even do any training, yet - just strenuous chores like painting fences, weeding gardens, and fixing furniture. Other than the few dog-walking missions we got, it was excruciatingly boring.

Until finally, the day came where we had to find Tora.

"What's the distance to the target?" Kakashi said through the earpiece, sounding as bored as ever.

"Five meters," I answered. "I'm ready anytime."

"So am I," Sakura confirmed.

"Me too."

"Okay." There was a beat of silence before Kakashi gave the order. "Go!"

Sasuke and Sakura dashed forward. Meanwhile, I stepped out of the tree and slammed a homemade bomb into the ground. Bits and pieces of cut up leaves exploded into the air, raining down on my teammates and the surrounding area.

"What the- Satoko, what the hell are you doing?!" Sakura cried, spitting out the bits that got in her mouth. "Ew, what is this?"

"Catnip." I frowned when all I got in return were confused stares. "Our mission is to capture a _cat_ and I'm seriously the only one who brought catnip?"

"Making it into a bomb is a little… excessive, don't you think?" Kakashi sighed.

"Well, it worked!" I crouched next to Tora and poked her drooling face. The cat responded by rolling onto her back, her eyes wide like she was looking into the very fabric of spacetime. "See?"

"She looks dead," Sasuke commented.

"Hm…" I lifted Tora's paw and watched as it flopped back onto the ground. "...That's perfectly normal."

"Satoko, please don't tell me you killed the cat," Kakashi said in a voice that sounded a lot less concerned than it probably should've been.

"She's breathing!" I snapped. "...Just _super_ faded."

Kakashi sighed again. "Right… Well, in any case, Lost Pet "Tora" Search mission, complete."

When we brought Tora back to Madam Shijimi, it was evident that she didn't seem to care that her cat was half-baked.

"Ooh, my cute little Tora-chan! I was so worried!" she cooed, smothering the cat with her face. "You shouldn't run out like that all the time! Look how tired you are!"

Everybody in the mission room shot me a knowing look just as I turned away. I briefly considered giving Madam Shijimi a smaller pouch of catnip, but decided it was probably best for Tora to not get spoiled with it.

"Now…" the Hokage started, drawing our attention back to him, "Team 7, your next mission is… Babysitting an elder's grandson, shopping in the neighbouring village, or help with the potato harvest."

At that moment, I remembered something very, very important.

 _The Wave Arc._

I swallowed and crossed my arms in attempt to stop myself from fidgeting in any way. I knew this was coming, but I was so busy worrying over whether or not we'd pass the Bell Test and then getting exhausted from the daily physical labour that it had completely slipped my mind.

Which gave me about five seconds to make a decision.

"Satoko?"

I immediately tensed and looked up at the Hokage. "W...What's up, Gramps?"

 _Shit, I need to buy some time to think!_

"You look like you have something to say."

"Huh? N-No, not really!" I laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Just that, uh…" I blinked, realizing that I could use this to my advantage. "Well, these missions feel more like chores. Isn't there anything else?"

"You're just a rookie," Iruka said in a much calmer manner compared to the manga, probably because I wasn't yelling in his face. "Everyone starts with simple missions and works their way up."

"Man… But we're kinda getting like, the lowest of the low!"

"Be quiet, you," Kakashi scolded, knocking the side of my head.

The Hokage grunted and blew out a whiff of smoke. "It seems like I have to explain to you how missions work."

 _Nice. Exposition should give me enough time to think things through a little._

As I pretended to listen to the Hokage's explanation, I crossed my arms and furrowed my brow in deep thought. The Wave Arc was no light matter - it was when Sasuke and Protagonist got some pretty good teamwork going on against Zabuza. Plus, it was also the first time Protagonist taps into Kurama's power, and Sasuke awakens the Sharingan.

 _Too bad Sakura doesn't get to do anything, though._

Well, besides showing that she has really good chakra control, but there'd be loads of opportunities for that to come up. The Sharingan and Kurama were entirely different things. Namely, things that are likely to happen when we almost _die._

 _I'd like to avoid that as much as possible, thanks._

Even if it all turned out fine in canon, I couldn't guarantee that I'd be able to do the same - especially if I hesitated at times where Protagonist didn't. The biggest con was the delay in mine and Sasuke's additional powers (and maybe getting an entire bridge named after me), but otherwise, it wasn't like Wave Country would get destroyed or anything if we didn't go. The Hokage would just send a more experienced team, which was probably for the better.

When I thought about it, the choice really just boiled down to either walking myself into a life or death situation or walking more dogs and playing with them.

 _Yep. Sure is a hard decision when you put it that way._

"You guys just recently became genin," the Hokage was saying when I tuned him in again. "D-rank missions are perfect for you."

"Ugh…" I groaned, sulking heavily. "...Fine! A shinobi's gotta do what a shinobi's gotta do, I guess."

"Oh? I'm surprised you're not insisting," the Hokage laughed.

"Yeah, I thought you'd get all loud like you always do and demand better missions," Sakura agreed, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Hey, I can if you want!" I huffed, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "The missions aren't _that_ bad. 'Sides, it's kinda nice to see the look on people's faces when they realize _I'm_ the one helping them. If I keep doing missions for them, they'll start acknowledging me in no time!"

Both Iruka and the Hokage seemed rather taken aback, though their expressions quickly softened.

"Is that so?" the Hokage smiled, holding up the scroll of C-Rank missions.

...Wait.

 _WHY IS HE HOLDING UP THE C-RANK MISSIONS._

"Then maybe you're ready for a harder mission after all-"

"HOLD IT," I yelled in a way that would surely make Phoenix Wright proud. "You were just saying how D-Rank missions were perfect for us! Why the sudden change of heart?!"

 _SERIOUSLY, WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF HEART. DON'T YOU FUCKING DO THIS TO ME OLD MAN._

"I was just thinking how you've really grown, Satoko, so maybe you and your team can handle a harder mission after all. It's still just an escort mission, though..."

"An escort mission?" I repeated anxiously. "Like, outside the village?"

"Hn. Don't tell me you're scared," Sasuke mocked, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not scared - I'm just very passionate about staying alive!" I snapped. "Anything can go wrong during a mission, so I'm thinking that maybe we're better off learning new techniques and getting stronger and working on that whole teamwork thing instead of dying miles away from the village because we were never properly trained to defend ourselves against enemies who are _actually trying to kill us_ and aren't just fellow students that we're sparring against in a match that's being judged by a chuunin sensei because _that's literally the only combat training we have_."

Sasuke tightened his jaw in a brief moment of silence. I thought he was just gonna leave it at that, but then, "Don't put me on the same level as you."

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you too good to walk adorable puppies who just wanna love you and would much rather walk to your _painful, agonizing death?_ "

He made a face at me. "It's not my fault if you can't keep up."

" _You-!_ "

Kakashi slapped his hand on both our shoulders before things escalated and smiled down at Sasuke. "Satoko has a point. It's only been a few weeks since you started your missions. You'll have plenty of opportunities to accept harder ones later on, when you're all stronger and more likely to succeed."

Whether Kakashi openly admitted it or not, he had to be even just a _little_ scared of something going terribly wrong and all of us dying on our first mission, especially knowing his whole backstory. It made me wonder how scared he was to be stuck in that Water Prison, and how desperately he wanted the genin to run away.

 _Not that you'd know it, but you just helped yourself get out an extra serving of emotional trauma, buddy._

"Are you sure that's alright, Kakashi?" the Hokage, slightly amused.

"I believe it's for the better, Hokage-sama," he answered weakly.

"In that case," the Hokage smiled, pulling up the D-Rank missions once again, "Team 7, your next missions are…"

I sighed in relief.

 _Crises averted._

The rest of the day was spent doing more tedious missions, much to Sasuke and Sakura's displeasure. I casually spent my time strategically getting out of their way whenever possible and avoiding eye-contact.

 _They'll thank me later._

"Ohoho~ I'm so lucky to have such a handsome young man delivering my groceries for me!" a middle-aged woman cooed, pinching Sasuke's cheek. He scowled.

 _...Probably._

Well, at least on the bright side, we weren't sent on a terrible C-Rank escort mission that was destined to go awry.

"What the- Tora escaped _again?!_ Dammit- I'm all out of catnip, too."

On the down side, we didn't get any more dog-walking missions.

Which I made sure to complain about once we turned in our last mission report of the day.

"All I'm saying is, the only downside to walking dogs is picking up after them, and after dealing with the cows, it's really no big deal," I said tiredly as we exited the room. "Right, Sakura-chan? I bet even Sasuke likes dogs!"

"Really? Is that true, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn."

"Of course," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "What about you, Sensei?"

"Maa… They can be cute, I suppose," he murmured. "So long as they don't talk back…"

I stifled a laugh, unsure of whether or not he meant for us to hear that.

"Anyway," Kakashi said, pulling out his infamous book, "you guys did well today. Good work."

"Alright!" I cheered, throwing my arms into the air. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei! We never properly celebrated becoming a team, so... Let's get ramen together, Sakura-chan!"

"Ew, I don't wanna go with you!" As always, Sakura's body language did a complete one-eighty once she addressed Sasuke. "B...But if Sasuke-kun wants to go, then…"

"Don't drag me into this," Sasuke huffed. "I'm going home."

And, as always, Sakura immediately sulked.

"You guys are lame," I whined.

"A little celebration might not be so bad…" Kakashi hummed thoughtfully as he looked up from his book, then smiled. "It's very nice of you to treat the team, Satoko."

"Yes-! Wait, what?!"

"In that case, I might just reconsider!" Sakura grinned.

As it turns out, Sasuke and Sakura were much more willing to tag along at the notion of free food. Not that I could blame them, though I was _that close_ to pinning the bill on the jounin.

 _Well, whatever gets us to have team bonding times, I guess._

Besides, I could always just leave Kakashi with the next bill.

* * *

 **After Credit Scene** : Satoko washing the dishes at Ichiraku's because she forget her wallet. Reconsiders desire for team friendship bonding times.

 **Author's notes** : hmu on tumblr at youridiotwriter for excerpts/art/etc. :D


	8. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

**Summary** : Satoko did not account for all the consequences of skipping the Wave Arc. She regrets nothing, probably.

* * *

 _Ew, my fingers are all pruny…_

I rubbed my hands idly together as I walked up to my apartment. With a soft click and a steady creak, I opened the door, coming face to face to face to face to face to face with five of my clones. Each one had a kitchen utensil in hand, their bodies frozen in various mid-strike poses. One clone was in the middle of beating another with a wooden spoon. Another was blocking a wok with a whisk.

I blinked.

"…Sup," they greeted in unison.

"Sup," I echoed, kicking the door shut.

Ever since I figured out how to make clones, I'd been leaving a few clones back home in order to continue working on basic Academy skills like the Transformation Technique and the Substitution Technique.

"I think we're good on the basics," said the clone holding a spatula. "We're ready for Phase Two."

"Yeah?" I cocked my brow.

They grinned. "Hell yeah."

"Sick. Thanks for the hard work, guys," I said before dispelling them.

Despite having done it several times already, it was still a weird feeling to suddenly know how to do something I couldn't do before. The experience of practicing various E-Rank techniques sat at the back of my mind like any other skill I practiced myself – things like playing piano or dancing – but just to make sure, I made the tiger hand seal and focused my chakra outward.

"Transformation Technique!"

There was a puff of smoke, and when I looked at my reflection, I saw Iruka looking back.

"Whoa," I murmured, dispelling the jutsu. "…That's kinda creepy."

My body didn't feel very different, but the proportions threw me off as I tried walking around the flat. I almost knocked over a cup when I went to pick it up, and as I went back to the mirror, stubbed my toe against the chair, causing my transformation to disappear with another cloud of smoke.

"Should probably work on not doing that," I winced, shaking my foot off.

As the throbbing in my toe faded, I gathered chakra for five clones and stepped back as the latest versions appeared, updated with E-Ranked ninjutsu and all. Since this was almost a daily occurrence, I had gotten into the habit of simply referring to them by numbers.

"Ow, you couldn't wait until it stopped hurting?" Four hissed, curling her toes.

"It'll pass," I said, waving my hand. "Well, no time to waste. Go out there and gather me some intel!"

"About time," One sighed. "Sooner or later we're gonna get asked a question we really oughta know the answer to but genuinely won't, and then they'll get suspicious and think we're imposters and T&I will get involved and we all know how creepy T&I can get, and –"

"Hey," Three interrupted. "Shut up. We're all already on the same page, y'know."

"Not sure what subjects to hit first, though," I said, taking a seat. "History, clans, culture..."

"Makes sense to split up, I think," Four said. "Let's say… two at the library and three to scout the village - figure out where everything is."

"Yeah, most of the important things have already caught up with me through Protagonist's memories, but a lot of the finer detail are still missing," I agreed.

"What's the priority for research?" asked Five. "I'd say geography. We've avoided it for now, but we're gonna get a mission outside the village sooner or later, and it'd be pretty dumb if we got killed off by the land instead of an antagonist."

"How about we just… oh, I dunno, _not get killed at all_ ," I frowned. "International relations are pretty important, too. We should get an idea of who has the biggest beef with Konoha."

"We probably won't need that for a while, though," Three said. "It won't be a while until we start meeting people from outside the village."

"True…" It was kinda weird to hear my train of thought come from copies of myself, but it sure made brainstorming a lot easier to keep track of. It helped to hear everything like a conversation instead of a jumble of disorganized thoughts. "Let's start with internal affairs, then. Find stuff about Konoha's festivals, anything notable about the culture, and so on."

"Kiba definitely smelled something fishy back then. No need for anybody else to start getting suspicious," Five noted. "I'd say start with that, then delve into Konoha's history. It wouldn't be weird for us to not know as much about that, all things considered."

"Yeah, our priority should be acting like we were actually socialized in this place," Two nodded. "Everything else is just to help us figure out this damn world."

"Too bad we don't have the wiki," I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "What about locations? I already know where the landmarks are, so I wanna start with finding stores and restaurants."

"Not the clan areas?" Three asked. "Those seem pretty important."

"As far as I know, Protagonist doesn't have any real business knowing exactly where each clan is concentrated, so we can leave that for later, " Five said. "It's better to find a good place for restocking weapons, new outfits, and so on – we'll definitely be needing something less… orange, for missions."

"Find some good places to eat, too. Cafes, dim sum, grills… anywhere the manager doesn't hate our guts, really," Two added with a short laugh.

"I think the missions've been helping with my reputation," I said. "I managed to buy my own groceries the other day, at least."

"Yeah, all the missions leave no time to pull pranks, and it's not like we're screwing up like Protagonist did, either. It helps that the competition with Sasuke isn't getting in the way."

"He's still a prick, though," One muttered, and the rest of us nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, so that's that." I stretched out my arms and nodded towards the door. "Don't forget to transform. Even if the villagers think better of us now, no doubt they'll think I'm up to something if they see five of me running around."

"What if we get dispelled?"

"Uh…" I pressed my lips together and frowned. "…Be very, _very_ careful not to."

They stared back at me with the same expression. "…Awesome."

We nodded at each other, and after five puffs of smoke, they were out the door.

"Now then," I sighed, closing the door behind them. "Better get ready for tomorrow."

Despite already knowing that Kakashi was going to be late, the three of us showed up at the training field at the designated time. I greeted Sasuke and Sakura with a smile and wave when I arrived, once again ready to kill the few hours we had until our sensei finally showed up.

"Sakura-chan! We're gonna go buy you a new outfit today!"

"What?" She took a step back, shooting me a distasteful look. "I told you already, I don't need your help for something like that!"

"But it's been almost a month and you're still wearing the same thing," I frowned. "Are you sure that's comfortable to train in?"

Sakura looked down at herself before crossing her arms. "It's _fine,_ " she insisted.

"You leave me no choice, then." I furrowed my brow and took a deep breath. "Sas'kaaaay, tell Sakura-chan her clothes aren't practical-uh!"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Stop that."

"But _Sas'kay,_ " I whined with even more obnoxious gusto, inching closer to him, "she cares about what you think! She'll actually listen to you!"

"That's none of my business!" he snapped, pushing my face away.

"Yes it is!" I said just as quickly. "Did you already forget the entire point of the Bell Test? Now that we're a team, we have to look out for each other, and that includes making sure our clothes are suitable for combat!"

Sasuke looked like he was about to say something, but then firmly pressed his lips together and glared. Whether or not that meant he was about to say something useful was beyond me because Sakura decided then that the conversation was over.

"Cut it out, Satoko; you're being annoying!" Sakura scolded, punching my shoulder. "I can't believe I actually thought you were getting more mature."

 _Not like you're any better, you stubborn jerk,_ I wanted to say, but was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. It was no wonder the canon Team 7 barely got along - they were all immovable forces constantly pushing against each other.

"I'm mature," I muttered as I plopped onto the ground, an action which, all in all, was very _not_ mature.

Since my Teamwork Bonding Friendship Fun Time was ruined, the quiet hours of waiting for Kakashi to show up began.

I closed my eyes and sprawled out on the grass, wondering how my clones were doing with their own tasks. Every so often, one would go home and dispel itself, which would feed information back to me. They went little by little so I wouldn't get overwhelmed, but it also meant that progress was slow.

 _Slow and steady, I suppose._

I cracked open my eyes and glanced between my teammates, thinking hard on how I could get them to be more cooperative. Clearly not all my attempts would go through. Part of me wondered if canon plot events had anything to do with the probability of my intentions following through - a _lot_ would have changed if we failed the Bell Test, after all. Then again, I succeeded in avoiding the Wave Arc, which brought me back to square one.

 _Augh, I need the hitchhiker's guide to the universe._

I was deeply contemplating the success rate of sleepover parties when Kakashi finally arrived with his book in hand.

"Sorry I'm late! I saw a black cat, so I had to take the long route."

"Liar!" Sakura and I instinctively shouted, though we addressed his terrible excuse no further.

I figured the habit of being late came from mimicking Obito in some kind of mildly disturbing way of repenting, but the porn came outta left wing. Knowing how he used to be and how serious he can get, it was really hard to believe that he was reading the books just because he liked them and not for some other underlying reason.

 _Maybe Obito used to read porn all the time and we just didn't know it?_

...Probably for the best that I didn't follow that train of thought.

"Hm… Warm up with fifty laps around the field," Kakashi said without even looking up from his book.

"Fifty?" I choked.

"What, did you expect more?"

" _More?_ "

"What's the big deal?" Sakura huffed, hands on her hips. "It's the same as always!"

" _AS ALWAYS?_ "

She smacked my arm and I winced. "Did you hit your head last night or what? We ran fifty laps at the Academy nearly every day! This should be nothing for you."

"Hn, figures you can't keep up," Sasuke scoffed.

"Hey! It's just been a while, that's all!" I snapped, tossing my jacket aside. "You'd better keep your mouth shut, bastard, or you'll be eating my dust!"

I said that mostly as a means to keep up bits and pieces of Protagonist's obnoxiously competitive nature, but I wasn't gasping for air after the first ten seconds like I normally did because of my god awful stamina.

 _So this is what it feels like to be fit._

Even after ten laps, I felt perfectly fine. It was only after I hit the last dozen or so laps that my chest was feeling tight with every breath. Still not so much that I had to stop, but it felt _surreal_. Then again, shinobi have to run between villages all the time, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary (Sakura's impatience with my previous shock clearly said as much).

"Ah~ That felt great!" I exclaimed, stretching my arms behind my head as I caught my breath.

"How come you're barely even tired?!" Sakura huffed between deep breaths. "You were the one complaining about running in the first place!"

"I, uh…" I furrowed my brow. I wasn't sure if it was alright to mention Kurama, so I came up with some other excuse. "People chase me a lot."

 _In fact, it was the very first thing that was happening when I first showed up here._

I raised an eyebrow and pulled a smug smile when I noticed Sasuke was noticeably more out of breath than I was.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bastard - remind me again who can't keep up?" I asked mockingly, waggling my eyebrows at him.

"Shut up, Dobe," he hissed, shoving me away.

"Hey, no time to waste," Kakashi called idly from the branch he was sitting on. "Now do five sets of twenty pushups, and remember to stretch so you don't pull anything. Taking you to the hospital would be a pain."

I squinted at him distastefully, but said nothing.

The three of us did what we were told, and about ten minutes into the workout, I realized that while my stamina was way better than my teammates, Sasuke's physical strength was better than mine and Sakura's, probably because Sakura was Sakura and between freaking out about my new environment and working on ninjutsu, I wasn't exactly keeping up with those kinds of workouts.

…My bad.

"Okay!" I exclaimed once I was done, punching the air. "What's next, Sensei?"

"Hm… go through some kata."

"Which ones?" Sakura asked.

"Uh… All of them."

I squinted at him again, this time suspiciously.

 _I can't shake the feeling that he's… Hm…_

Despite my growing doubt, I kept my mouth shut and diligently went through whatever kata I remembered through Protagonist's memories, copying Sasuke and Sakura when it came to the details in stance that Protagonist never quite learned properly.

The rest of the day was spent doing other warm ups that were just as mind-numbingly redundant, and the next day was just as tedious. I wanted to give Kakashi the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was taking a "wax on wax off" approach to training in which it was all secretly for our own good, but when our third day of training started off with – honest to God – _meditation_ , I couldn't help but call him out on it.

"Alright, Sensei, enough's enough!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms defiantly. "No more boring workouts and exercises. We just keeping doing the same boring stuff over and over again – it's no different than the Academy!"

"Repetition is how you get stronger," Kakashi answered flatly, eyes glued to his book.

"But I wanna learn something new, like spewing lava from my mouth or shooting lightning from my fingertips!"

"Cut it out, Satoko!" Sakura hissed, but I _knew_ she had her own doubts, and surely Sasuke did, too.

"You guys aren't ready for that kind of stuff. That's why you're starting with the basics, so you can create a strong foundation to—"

"That's bullshit and you know it!"

Finally, Kakashi looked up from his book and gave me a half-lidded stare. Sakura's mouth fell open like I just declared war on the five countries, and Sasuke looked just about as animate as road kill. Figures.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?"

" _Yes, because you apparently don't even know what it is._ "

I'm pretty sure Sakura almost fainted just then. Admittedly, I probably would've been shitting myself, too, if not for the fact that Kakashi looked more intrigued than he did pissed.

"Oh?" He closed his book. "Then why don't you tell me."

"You're our sensei; you should be _teaching us_ , dammit! Yeah, maybe we did get a little stronger, and I'm sure meditation is helpful if you do it right, but you're not even watching us or giving us pointers or anything! All you do is pull exercises outta your ass and read porn. You haven't been taking us seriously at all!"

Which I now realized was also a very important thing that happened during the Wave Arc. The situation demanded that he actually cared about us getting stronger, but with no threat around, he wasn't going to get personally invested in actually training us on his own.

 _Being attacked by an S-Ranked nukenin and almost dying, like, three times better not be the only way for him to take us seriously._

"Satoko's right," Sasuke chimed in, arms crossed. "I can do these exercises on my own. If this is all you have to offer, then you're wasting my time."

Finally, Sakura found her voice again and hastily agreed. "That's right! We aren't in the Academy anymore. We're proper shinobi, so you should treat us as such!"

Kakashi closed his eye and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Maa…" he sighed, putting his book away, "I don't know if I'd say _proper_ , but… I suppose you all have a point."

For once, he actually looked at us properly, with acknowledgement in his eye and everything.

"Alright then – no more work outs. Today, we'll do something new."

 _Huh. He sure thought of an alternative pretty quickly._ I fought the urge to make a face. _Don't tell me he already had actual training planned all along._

I decided to pass up that line of accusation – I really didn't need _another_ reason to doubt him – and went back to being overly excited. "Awesome! Is it gonna be super cool, like—like breathing out a tornado?!"

"Uh… You could consider this training the first step to achieving that," he said half-heartedly, then smiled. "This exercise is to improve your chakra control."

 _…Oh._

"You're going to do tree-climbing."

I blinked.

 _Shoulda seen that one coming._

I quirked my brow, feigning suspicion. "Is it like… extreme tree climbing, or something?"

"Improving chakra control through tree-climbing…?" Sakura mumbled to herself before suddenly perking up. "Ah! Are we going to walk up trees by focusing chakra at our feet?"

"That's right."

"Wait, what? How'd you know that?" I asked before I realized what I had said. _You aren't supposed to know that,_ I wanted to say, but slammed my mouth shut before I let it slip.

"Don't tell me you've never seen a shinobi running up the side of a building before," Sakura sighed. "The sensei back at the Academy would do it all the time when the younger students got balls stuck on the roof."

"Oh. Uh, right."

It made a lot more sense than Sakura being completely clueless, actually. Sasuke must have had the same idea, what with growing up in a ninja clan, even though he said nothing of it.

 _As if he would._

"But," Sakura continued, "how is that going to help us with chakra control? It seems easy enough."

"It's harder than it looks, especially for rookies like you," Kakashi said pointedly. "There are two things to take away from this exercise. Firstly, it takes very little chakra, but the amount must be exact; you'll fall if you don't use enough chakra, but if you use too much, you'll push yourself off. This will help you with all other jutsu. Take cloning for example – you won't make a proper clone if you don't use enough chakra, but you'll waste chakra and run out of stamina more quickly if you use too much. Basically, if you can master this skill, you should be able to master any jutsu… theoretically."

Sakura held her chin thoughtfully. "So then, this will teach us to be more efficient with our chakra."

"Exactly," he smiled. "Secondly… well, I wasn't kidding about needing to create a strong foundation." I made a face, even though he wasn't looking my way. "You need to develop the stamina needed to control chakra properly, which can be hard, depending on the jutsu. Ninja will usually be gathering their chakra during battle while constantly moving. These types of situations make controlling chakra even more difficult."

"Hmph… I guess that does sound pretty important, huh," I muttered, crossing my arms.

"That right," he smiled. "Well then, me talking all day won't accomplish anything; this is something you have to learn by doing." We all flinched when three kunai were whipped at our feet. "Use those to mark your progress and aim to surpass it with each try. You won't be good enough to walk up the first time, so get some momentum and try running up the tree. Begin!"

 _Alright, time to see what this training is all about._

I yanked the kunai from the ground, made the tiger hand seal to help me focus my chakra, and within the minute, I was sprinting towards the tree along Sasuke and Sakura.

The next, I was falling from at least eight feet off the ground.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit-!"

I scrambled to catch myself by stabbing the kunai into the tree, but it wasn't enough to catch my weight. Instead, I left a messy scratch in the tree and landed flat on my feet.

There was a split second where the pain hadn't sunk in yet, and then—

" _FFFFHNNNGAAAAAAAAA—"_

It was like thousands of needles were stabbing my shins all at once, and I immediately fell on my ass, clutching them in pain. Meanwhile, there was a loud crunch, and Sasuke gracefully landed in front of his tree.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance, glaring at the damaged bark.

"This is pretty easy!" Sakura chirped over my decreasing wails.

"It looks like the best at chakra control right now is Sakura," Kakashi said from his tree.

With the pain in my legs steadily easing away – was Kurama's chakra helping? Because it really seemed like I should have fractured something – I wobbled back onto my feet and looked up at the kunoichi.

"That's awesome, Sakura-chan!" I wasn't even putting on an act, either – she was like, twenty feet high.

"Wow~ Not only does she know about chakra, but her control and stamina are quite good. As of now, Sakura's the closest to being Hokage, unlike a certain someone…" Kakashi said nonchalantly with his one eye curved. "I guess the Uchiha clan isn't worth much, either."

 _I know you're trying to motivate us here, but getting Sasuke all pissy is so not the way to go about it, jerk._

Despite the odds being against me, I tried to get him to approach it in a way that was less guaranteed to make him irritated. "C'mon, Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei's right – we gotta step it up!"

"Hn, you're one to talk. You hardly even made it off the ground," he scoffed.

"Alright, fine! Let's see who makes it to the top first! You too, Sakura-chan!"

"What?! Don't drag me into this! Besides, I've already got the hang of it!"

"Maa… Nobody's getting to the top if you all keep talking."

I made a face.

 _Better wish I don't or I'll kick you outta that tree._

* * *

 **After credit scene** : Satoko spending a solid fifteen minutes pulling splinters out of her hands. Copious amounts of swearing ensues.

 **Author's note** : check out my tumblr youridiotwriter for sometimes extra content and general screaming into the void about writing things :D


	9. Speech Impediment

**Summary** : Satoko's plans go to shit. Sakura's done with her shit. Sasuke talks shit.

* * *

Okay.

So.

The thing about running up a tree is that the act itself isn't as hard as I thought it'd be. As a kinetic learner, I almost always passed my last mark by at least a few inches. However, I had a really bad mentality when it came to potentially dangerous things.

Whenever I snowboarded, the only thing going through my mind when I started to speed up was how much it would hurt if I fell. Climbing trees was a lot like that, except this time I was at risk of cracking my ass open and shattering every single bone in my legs. Not the best imagery to have when you're attempting the very thing that can end in such disasters.

On the bright side, I was getting pretty good at landing after a twenty-foot drop, which was, in and of itself, a whole other pattern of practically shitting myself and bracing myself for any potential sprains, fractures, shattered bones, and what else.

 _I could use my clones, but… that'd probably just antagonize Sasuke even more._

When I landed with staggering grace and plopped onto my ass for the umpteenth time, Sakura walked off the tree without even breaking a sweat, going from horizontal back to vertical in a single step. Sure, she didn't have as much stamina as me and Sasuke, but that didn't stop her from making it look easy.

"Hey, Sakura-chan," I called, shuffling over. "D'you think you can gimme some tips?"

"Huh?" she repeated, crossing her arms. "You seem to be getting along just fine, though."

We both looked up at my tree, blinking at the scratches that overlapped each other only somewhat. Sasuke's tree, on the other hand, had marks further up than mine, but the increments were much smaller. His overall height was better, but his progress was slow.

"I guess, but I'm not getting very high up." I didn't mention that it was largely because of my situational fear of heights. " _?_ "

"Geez, fine," she huffed, plopping onto the ground herself. "Listen, chakra uses spiritual energy, so you can't get too excited. You have to relax and focus on the tree."

"Sounds simple enough," I said, rocking back onto my feet. "Okay, let's give it a shot!"

"You seriously never run out of energy. I need a break," she sighed, slowly pushing herself back onto her feet. "This is getting kinda boring, anyway…"

"Why don't you ask Kakashi-sensei for something else to do? Not like he's doing anything," I frowned, glowering at the jounin across the field. "Might as well use your time learning something new instead of practising something you've already mastered."

"W-Why would I wanna do that?! Sasuke-kun already hates me!" she hissed.

I made a face, biting my tongue to keep from going on a rant about everything that was wrong with that single statement.

 _Chill, Satoko. She's only twelve. Take it easy and teach her independence one step at a time._

"I think you're misunderstanding him," I said carefully. "It's more like he's frustrated at himself. Y'know, for not getting the hang of it right away."

"How would you know?" she sneered.

"Well, y'know… I was friends with him, when we were younger… kinda…"

Considering the memories I had of our seven-year-old selves, it was pretty damn annoying that the only thing that came out of it was a childish rivalry.

 _I guess I can blame Protagonist for that one._

...I could blame Protagonist for a lot of things, actually.

"In any case, stopping yourself from being stronger won't make him like you either! Remember what he said during the Bell Test? He was all annoyed and grumpy 'cause he thought we were useless, and that we'd just get in the way. I know you don't want him to hate you, but which d'you think's more likely to annoy him - being better than him at something, or making him believe that you're just a deadweight?"

Sakura's gaze was glued to her feet. She was really contemplating this, that much I could tell. Suddenly, her eyes locked with mine.

"Learn to mind your own business!" she snapped. I flinched. "All you do is tell people what to do - even Kakashi-sensei! Quit acting like you know everything; it's annoying!"

I bit my cheek and said nothing more as she turned with a huff and stalked back to her tree.

"...Damn," I whispered, scratching the back of my neck.

 _Well, to be fair, I kinda_ do _know everything…_

I sighed, dropping onto the ground again.

 _Figures it wouldn't be that easy._

What Sakura said stuck with me to the next day.

It probably _was_ pretty condescending and uncalled for to be on the receiving end of a motivational speech delivered by the village idiot. When I weighed Sakura's anger against the canon Team 7, though, it was a small price to pay in order to avoid utter catastrophe and chaos.

 _It's hard to balance giving unwanted life lessons and letting us spiral down into a dark endless void of tragedy and despair._

I sighed again, hanging my head in defeat. As things were, Sakura's crush was so huge, she couldn't even use it as a motivation to get stronger. Not that I was a supporter of the whole 'change who you are so a boy will maybe like you' mindset but damn, if she's gonna do it, you'd think she'd at least get it fucking _right_.

 _Sasuke likes more than just long hair- and not even! That was just a rumour from like, five years ago, damn it! Bet they didn't even fact check._

It didn't help that Sakura hasn't had any way to see how useless she is in battle, either, seeing as I _skipped it._

 _Maybe avoiding the Wave mission wasn't such a good idea after all._

I swallowed the urge to groan. She was definitely still pissed at me and made a point of it by changing locations, leaving almost a dozen trees between us. And of course she was doing the same training, though I wondered if now it was about blowing off some steam.

 _Yeah… Probably best I give her some space._

I needed to figure out what the hell my next plan of action was, anyway.

I glared at the tree in front of me, absently taking note of the dozens of lines that cut across the width of the trunk. My gaze shifted over to Impossibly Stubborn Teammate #2, who would go at it again and again before he could even catch his breath.

 _Stupid jerk… Why the fuck d'you have to have an inferiority and superiority complex at the same time? How does that even work?!_

Once again I contemplated using Shadow Clones to speed up the process, except this time it was with the intention of antagonizing Sasuke. Maybe if I reminded Sasuke who his rival was supposed to be, things would proceed the way they did in canon and eventually, Sakura would start pulling her weight once she realized she was falling behind.

Except, who knows what kind of unprecedented terrors we'd face before then? Feeding the childish rivalry was counterproductive if I wanted to make Sasuke less likely to abandon us next year, and I couldn't let Sakura continue to suck until we almost die when I knew she had the potential to get stronger before then.

 _Augh, but how the hell am I supposed to convince Sakura that getting stronger won't get in the way of their relationship?_ I bit my cheek. _I could list a whole lot of other shit that would, though._

I didn't even need anything drastic - just a small gesture that proved Sasuke wasn't distancing himself more than he already was.

"Oi, you three - it's already half past noon. Don't you think it's time for a break?" Kakashi said, his voice just loud enough to reach us.

I blinked and instinctively looked between my teammates once again. Sakura seemed more than ready to take a lunch break, but when I locked eyes with Sasuke, there was a moment of silence as our aforementioned counterproductive rivalry burned.

 _Wait a second... I might actually be able to use this! All it takes it some bait._

I looked back at Kakashi and shook my head. "This is nothing! Besides, I can't afford to stop now - I've gotta catch up to Sakura-chan."

"Geez, you'll end up passing out at this rate," Sakura huffed, her expression doing a complete one-eighty as she addressed Sasuke. "Let's go, Sasuke-kun!"

He clicked his tongue and snapped his gaze back towards his tree. "I'm fine."

 _Hook, line, and sinker._

"But if you don't eat-"

Her concern went unheard, as Sasuke was already running up the tree again.

"Forget about him," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll get lunch with you, Sakura-chan!"

"You just said you don't need it!" she snapped, immediately storming off towards Kakashi.

"Wait, but that was-!" Sakura flatly ignored me, not even looking back to glare. "Aw, man. Me and my big mouth."

I huffed, pretending that my empty stomach was bothering me way less than it actually was.

 _Man, the things I gotta do for these guys._

It was about thirty minutes after Kakashi and Sakura left when Sasuke reluctantly approached me.

"Hey, Satoko!" he called like he was trying to pick a fight. Which, let's face it, was far more likely than what I knew he was about to ask.

I caught my breath and squinted at him. "Whaddya want?"

He glanced away with flushed cheeks, and I bit my cheek to avoid snorting. "Wh… What did Sakura tell you yesterday?"

I quirked my brow in confusion. "You mean like, when she was mad at me?"

"No," he snapped, refusing to make eye contact. "...Before that."

"Ooooh, _that._ " I paused briefly to feign a moment of consideration before answering. "Why don't you ask her yourself?" I suggested, putting great care into not sounding condescending or impatient.

For reasons not completely unknown, Sasuke tensed at my response before making an excuse. "Does it look like she's here?"

I refused to back down, but at the same time kept my body language and voice passive. "Then wait until she comes back."

"That'd take too long," he retorted. "Tch, nevermind. I knew talking to you would be a waste of my time," he said, walking back to his tree.

"Hey!" I yelled, not bothering to put any effort into defending myself. "If you really think I'm a waste of time, then that's even more reason to ask Sakura-chan, instead. She'd be way better at explaining it, anyway - even you've gotta admit that she's super smart!"

I bit my lip and hesitated on what I was about to say next.

"Unless Sensei was right, and you really don't see any value in us. We just get in the way, don't we." I swallowed. "We're disposable to you."

His shoulders stiffened, but he didn't say a word.

"What'll it take for you to change your mind, huh?" I pressed, daring to take a step forward. "Is there a checklist of requirements that we gotta meet until you would even consider calling us your teammates? Would you even ask Sensei for help when you need it? He's gotta be strong to be a jounin, y'know!"

"Shut up," he growled, glaring daggers at me. "You get in the way because you're annoying!"

"I'm trying to _help!_ "

"Doesn't seem like it!"

"What's so bad about asking Sakura, anyway? Is it 'cause you can't accept that she's actually better than you at something?!"

"I told you to _shut up-!_ "

"Hey, you two," a bored voice suddenly interrupted, and we both looked up to see Kakashi looming over us. "Can't you two last even ten minutes alone without fighting?"

 _You were gone for thirty,_ I corrected silently, and for some reason rather defensively, as if it made things any better.

"Yeah! Quit picking fights, Satoko," Sakura scolded from behind him.

Kakashi nodded. "You've been teammates for over a month, now. Don't you think it's about time you two started getting along?"

"Tch." Apparently Sasuke decided that was enough to end the conversation and turned away.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his neck, obviously disconcerted, but not enough to stop him.

"Ah- Sasuke-kun, wait!" Sakura called, rushing up to him. "I brought you lunch!"

There was a split second where Sasuke looked like he was going to tell her to leave him alone. His jaw tensed and his body jerked, enough so that Sakura even flinched, but then…

Much to everyone's surprise, he paused, sighed, and accepted the wrapped bento box.

"...Thanks."

Sakura jolted. "N-No problem!"

I blinked, tilting my head to the side.

 _Huh. I guess he does know where to draw the line, after all._

"Hey, Satoko."

Now it was my turned to jolt. I looked up and found myself face to face another bento box.

"Here," was all Sakura said as she held it out to me.

"You… got one for me, too?" I gawked, unsure of what to say.

"Don't read into it!" she snapped, immediately changing the mood. "It's not like I hate you enough to watch an idiot like you starve herself to death!"

Despite the hostile undertone, it was a step in the right direction, so I accepted the lunch with a grin. "Hehe~ Thanks a bunch, Sakura-chan! I'll be sure to eat all of it!"

"Just pay me back next time," she huffed, walking back to her tree.

"Okay~" With a growling stomach and a sprinkle of hope, I plopped myself onto the ground and happily chowed down.

 _Looks like they're taking Kakashi's scolding to heart._

It wasn't much, but as far as I could tell, we've already got a headstart on this whole teamwork thing. Not that it got any easier from here - the next step was to get Sasuke to acknowledge Sakura's strengths and for Sakura to calm her hormones.

My chewing gradually slowed until it came to a complete stop as I pondered that thought.

I sighed through my nose and swallowed.

 _It never gets easier, does it?_

It got easier.

At least in terms of defying the laws of gravity and running up a tree, it did.

It was so much easier, in fact, that I momentarily forgot about Sasuke's simultaneous superiority and inferiority complex and almost started pulling too far ahead in the game.

 _Of course the one time being a kinetic learner is disadvantageous would involve Sasuke. Because when is anything about my life_ advantageous _when it comes to him?_

It didn't help that we were once again training late into the afternoon, long after Kakashi and Sakura had already gone home, so I was the only person for him to even notice. Apparently two friendless rookie ninjas have a _lot_ of time to kill.

"Man, don't you have anything better to do?" I asked at one point when we landed at the same time. "It's getting close to dinner time, y'know."

"What about you?" he asked, even though his demeanour told me he didn't actually want an answer. "Go home if you're tired. What I do is none of your business."

" _Hrrng_ \- but I can't let you get ahead of me!"

"Hn, you make it sound like you have a chance at beating me."

"Is that a challenge?"

He scoffed. "There's no such thing when _you're_ my opponent."

I gaped.

 _This **bitch**._

"Oh, you are _so_ on, Bastard!"

The sun was just beginning to set when we both stood tall above the canopy. My chest heaved with every breath, from both the hours of continuous physical exertion and the burning sunset that set the horizon aflame.

"Time for dinner?" Sasuke asked once he caught his breath, looking satisfied with his progress.

I breathed out an airy laugh, wiping the sweat from my forehead. "Yeah!"

I clung onto the tree with one arm and tried to punch the air with the other, but instead ended up wobbling about as my muscles gave out from exhaustion.

"Whoa-!"

Something grabbed my ankle just as I started to fall, and when I craned my neck to look up, Sasuke was glowering down at me.

"Idiot. Don't expect me to carry you home."

"Awh, but you've already started," I grinned, sticking my tongue out.

His glare intensified. "I'll drop you."

My grin widened. "I trust you."

He paused.

Then, with a grunt, he tightened his grip and hauled me up enough to crawl onto a lower branch.

"I'm not waiting for you," he said flatly before beginning his descent.

"Wouldn't want ya to!"

That was a lie. Konoha is a very dark place at night.

 _Welp. Good thing I'm ninja._

When Kakashi eventually arrived the next morning, I greeted him with an upside down wave.

"Hey Sensei, check it out - no hands!"

"That's how it should be, Satoko."

"Oh. Then how 'bout this - no feet!"

" _Wait don't-_ "

"Hehe, just kidding!" I laughed, sticking one leg out to the side. "One foot!"

Kakashi looked at me with a tired eye and sighed deeply. "...Get down. We're doing something different today."

With newly found grace and agility, I stopped the flow of chakra that glued me to the underside of the branch and landed on my feet without a hitch.

"Oh, oh! Is it new training?" I asked, rushing over to stand next to Sakura.

"Maa, you could say that," Kakashi hummed, not making eye contact.

 _...He's not gonna make us do something weird, is he?_

"But first, why don't you try out some ninjutsu to feel the change for yourselves?"

"Huh. Now that you mention it, all we've been doing lately is just tree-climbing. It feels like I haven't used ninjutsu in ages," I murmured. "Alright then, let's see how much stronger I've become! Shadow Clone Technique!"

In a blink of an eye, flour clones instantly materialized around me. Unlike before, I barely even had to think about it - without even knowing, it had become as natural as breathing.

"Oooh! This is _awesome!_ " I cheered, dispelling my clones. "It feels way easier now!"

"Is it that big a difference?" Sakura asked, making clones herself. "...Oh! You're right!"

Sasuke made a few clones himself, then proceeded to test it out with his Great Fireball Technique, as well.

"You'll last much longer in battle now that you're better at preserving your chakra," Kakashi said with a content smile. "Now then! Since you've all improved, it's time for a new mission. No complaints this time - right, Satoko?"

I swallowed.

The danger of the Wave Arc was avoided, but… well, when I tried to prepare for the Academy graduation test, reality took a different route in order to guarantee my failure. If that's how it was gonna be, there was a good chance this new mission could bring us neck deep in water, too.

On the other hand, we _were_ stronger than before, even if it was just by a little bit. And really, what were the chances of being attacked by another member of the Seven Swordsmen? It wasn't like Zabuza was gonna rematerialize in an entirely different country.

...Right?

 _...Yeah, no, the universe has to draw the line somewhere._

"No problems here!" I answered.

"There better not be," Sakura huffed. "So, what's the mission?"

"It's an easy C-Rank mission," Kakashi smiled. "We'll be escorting a caravan back to the Fire Country's capital."

I felt a chill run down my spine.

 _Last I checked, "escort mission" is practically code for "get fucked."_

* * *

 **After Credit Scene** : Satoko burying her face into her pillow and screaming.

 **Author's note** : Check out my tumblr youridiotwriter for extra stuff :D


	10. Fight out of Tune

**Summary** : Satoko gets to fight against everything except for the thing she actually wants to fight.

* * *

The night was long, and I kept waking up every couple of hours with a tight chest and sweaty palms.

All I could think about was how I'd never be ready to take on an actual ninja mission with ninja fighting and ninja techniques, and that even if it didn't happen this time, it'd eventually happen _some_ time, and when that some time comes around, there was a good chance I'd _die._

It took every ounce of willpower for me to get out of bed that morning.

And it was a good thing that I did, because for the first time since we became Team 7, Kakashi was actually on time.

"Guess even he wouldn't keep a client waiting," I murmured to my teammates as we all leered at the jounin.

"We should really stop showing up for training at the times he gives us," Sakura huffed.

"All set?" a voice said from behind.

Sakura and I jumped and nodded instinctively, only then realizing that he had pulled a disappear-reappear trick on us.

 _When did he-?! ...Damn ninjas._

"Introduce yourselves to our clients before we go."

Kakashi guided us towards the caravan, which consisted of a two-wagon train and five members. They seemed to be a rather cheerful bunch overall, but their expressions told me they were all experienced in their business.

"I'm Uzu-"

" _Satoko_ ," Sakura interrupted firmly while pulling me back into a headlock, immediately rendering my words into a fit of choked coughs. "I'm Sakura, and this is Sasuke. It's nice to meet you!"

She released me with a light shove and smacked my shoulder.

"What the hell was that for?" I hissed, nudging her with my elbow.

"Did you learn anything from the academy?" she hissed back. "What kind of shinobi gives their full name during a mission? You're not even supposed to do that in our own village! Even civilians know this."

 _Lay off, man - first time I've heard of this rule_. I nodded thoughtfully to myself as I briefly contemplated the reason for it. _A reasonable precaution, though._

Pretty fair for a militant village to be wary of any possible moles or spies lingering about in the village, I supposed. I had to wonder, though, if the Hokage really suspected the elderly farmers who make up the majority of a genin's clientele.

I swallowed and laughed nervously. "Sorry, sorry! It was just a slip of the tongue, alright?"

 _Geez, Protagonist seriously doesn't have anything useful in his memories, does he? I feel like I should already know these supposed ninja basics._

She rolled her eyes and sighed audibly before facing the caravan members when they started to introduce themselves.

One of them was an older teen while the other four were adults. Despite our childish squabble, they seemed amused, or a least not hateful, which was nice. I was worried we'd end up having to escort a group of bitter old geezers. What especially caught my attention was that the adults each carried an instrument - a wooden flute, a pipa, an ocarina that was vaguely pear-shaped, and a lute. They introduced themselves in that order.

"I'm Hanjou, the wagon master, and this is our helper, Tsumi-chan," she said, petting the horse tied to the front wagon.

I frowned.

I hate horses.

"Thanks again for accepting our mission." She was very sincere, with tidy hair and straight posture that gave an air of maturity and charisma. It seemed to make up for what she lacked in height.

"Tomi," the chubby woman next to her said with a smile that made it hard to tell if her eyes were open, especially because they were small and monolid. She reminded me of Chouji in both appearance and demeanour, which could only be taken as a good thing.

"And I'm Sadame. It's a pleasure to meet you all," the third woman greeted with a slight bow. She was the tallest of the three women, with a large bun that indicated significantly long hair. I got the impression that she was the complete opposite of Hanjou - tall and lanky with a reserved personality.

The last person to introduce themselves was a man whose age I couldn't discern by simply looking at him.

"My name is Kanjaku. Thank you for helping us," he said with a deep bow. His voice caught me off guard and made him seem much older than he looked. "You have our deepest gratitude."

"Ah, it's no trouble," Kakashi waved his hand in front of his face, seemingly flustered by the excessive appreciation. "And this is…?"

We turned our attention to the smallest and youngest of the group.

"...I'm Takara. Please take care of me."

She seemed distracted, but had a similar air as Hanjou despite only being at most a couple of years older than us genin. Her posture was relaxed, but she still looked refined, like she knew how to handle herself well. I could easily picture her making cunning deals when making a trade.

I looked at each merchant one by one in order to familiarize myself with them, and for some reason, my stomach twisted into a knot.

 _Geez… Just looking at them makes me feel like I'm gonna get scammed. Is this mission a scam? What if it's a scam? Man, I hope we're not getting scammed._

My mind was heavy with thoughts on how a mission could even be a scam in the first place when Kakashi gave the order to move out.

Everybody settled into their positions naturally. Hanjou took the reigns while Tomi sat by her side. The other three sat in the back of the second wagon with Sadame in the middle and made themselves comfortable by leaning against the piles of baggage. Meanwhile, Kakashi stationed me and Sasuke at the back while he and Sakura watched the front. We exchanged a brief glare before quickly looking away with a huff.

It was silent, save for our footsteps and the creaking of the wagons. We hadn't even been walking for ten minutes, and already the silence was killing me. I thought I'd be able to chat a bit, but Sakura and Kakashi were too far for a comfortable conversation, and Sasuke was… well, he was Sasuke. I wasn't quite desperate enough to make small-talk with the merchants, either, so I accepted my fate and mostly just stared at Kakashi's back.

 _Man, the silence is practically begging for somebody to jump outta those bushes and kill me._

I made a face and looked straight ahead.

 _Yeah, see, this is exactly why I need something to distract me from my thoughts._

There were already many times when I agonized over the loss of portable music, but this right here was especially miserable. The best I could do was sing to myself or try my best to imagine the music in my head, but there were limits to that. Sad, lonely, kinda pathetic limits.

 _Oh... wait, wait a second._

"Hey, Takara-san," I said, shifting a little closer so I didn't have to speak too loudly. "D'you play any instruments, too?"

"Hm?" She looked up from the flower crown she was weaving and blinked, as if taking a moment to process the question.. "...No, but I sing. Sometimes. ...If I know the song."

Her flustered behaviour took me by surprise. She was apparently much more timid than what she first let on.

"Then let's sing something! Otherwise the walk will be super boring and lame. Which it already is. Because we aren't singing."

"Idiot!" Sakura shouted from the front, now walking backwards just to glare at me while she scolded. "Don't be so bothersome! Who'd wanna sing so early in the morning? It's a long walk, so let them rest!"

"You should keep quiet yourself," Sasuke muttered, immediately silencing our teammate.

"Don't be so rude to her- _ow!_ " I snapped, but was quickly interrupted by a knock on my head. "No fair, you should hit Sasuke, too!"

"You're closer," Kakashi replied. "And louder."

I huffed and rubbed my head, then very childishly tried to jump and hit him on the head, too. He easily swatted my hand away and knocked my head again before going back to his position.

"You shouldn't make so much noise during an escort mission, anyway."

"It's nice that everybody's so lively," Sadame laughed gently. "We take this route often and the risks are minimal, so there's no need to worry."

"Yeah, sing all you want!" Tomi said from the front. "We've been doing this most of our lives and the worst we ever get are petty thieves. Not like we can't handle 'em ourselves by now, either, though the extra line of defense is always appreciated."

"I'm sure the time would pass much more quickly if we had something to do," Kanjaku agreed. "Would that be alright with you, Hatake-san?"

"Maa, if that's what you want," Kakashi answered leisurely, but the fact that he still wasn't reading from his book told me that he wasn't completely letting his guard down.

 _Then again, it's never quite completely down even when he_ is _reading._

"I know which song," Sadame said, perking up at the notion of playing music. "Ne, your name is Sakura, right?"

"Ah- yes, that's right," Sakura answered, somewhat taken aback by the sudden question.

Without another word, Kanjaku pulled out his lute and began to play a traditional melody. Sadame joined in with her ocarina soon after, and Tomi's pipa could be heard coming from the front. Two bars into the instrumental and a realization hit me.

"Oh! I know this one!" I gasped. I couldn't explain why mine and Protagonist's worlds would share the same music, but the sense of familiarity was reassuring nevertheless.

"Who doesn't know this one?" Sakura huffed, but seemed pleased that they were playing such a relevant song.

Sadame laughed at our exchange before taking a breath, and out came a voice that left a very unexpected impression.

 _Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms_  
 _In fields and villages_  
 _As far as you can see._

I nearly choked, and the way Sasuke's shoulders reflexively tensed up did not go unnoticed.

 _Oh my god._

Sadame continued, blissfully unaware of the impact her singing had.

 _Her singing is terrible._

I glanced over to Kakashi, who I could've sworn was slouching more than usual.

 _She's fucking tone deaf oh my god._

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

But she looked so happy singing, so who was I to stop her?

The caravan sang song after song, with Sakura eventually warming up to them by joining in as well. We had rotated our positions so she was stationed with me at that back, which meant she got direct musical accompaniment from Sadame and Kanjaku. Too bad the party didn't last very long due to Kakashi being a total buzzkill.

"We're diverging from the main roads soon," he said in a tone that sounded like he was announcing a new law, "it's safer if there's no more singing."

I huffed. "Laaame."

"Would you rather we get attacked?" Sakura retorted as if she wasn't the one singing the loudest two seconds ago.

"Just 'cause it's safe doesn't mean it's not lame!"

"Keeping things safe is our job. If you wanted to have fun, then maybe you should quit being a shinobi," Kakashi said pointedly.

"Fiiiine." I decided to make small-talk with Takara and Sadame instead, since they were on my side of the caravan. "What d'you have in the wagon, anyway?"

"We mostly trade seeds and spices, but this time we've got some wares from Konoha, too," Sadame answered. "Would you like to try some?"

I blinked. "Can I?" I squinted. "...Does it taste good to eat it straight up?"

Sadame reached back to dig through one of the boxes. She pulled out a small jar and handed it to me. "This one's pretty common, so we don't really lose any profit if you try some."

"It's pretty good for when you're craving something but don't have time to eat," Takara added.

Carefully, I shook a tiny amount of spice into my hand and sniffed it, first. It looked kind of like something between black pepper powder and cumin powder in terms of colour, with no discernable scent that could give me an idea of what it might taste like. I gave it a lick and immediately flinched.

It was bitter. And I normally kind of like bitter tastes, but I was expecting something more savoury, so instead it just caught me off guard and I nearly coughed. It looked like it would taste like the seasoning in red pasta sauce, but whatever I just ate definitely didn't taste like that. It didn't really taste like anything, actually.

"It's good," I lied. "I don't think I've ever tried anything like it." That wasn't a lie.

 _Perfect for when you wanna make the consumer feel like they just ate a piece of a bitter soul._

"Really? It's a local spice. Maybe you have a weak sense of taste," Sadame laughed.

 _Ah, fuck, she literally just said it was common._

I laughed along to cover my nervousness and reached forward to return the jar, but ended up nearly dropping it during the exchange instead.

"Whoa- sorry, sorry!" I fumbled and managed to get the spice back into Sadame's hands before anything else happened.

"Nothing to worry about," Sadame reassured. "Sakura-chan, would you like to try some?"

"Ah, no, it's alright," she declined politely. "I wouldn't want to take away from your commodities."

I pretended not to see the stare she gave me when she said that and instead asked, "Can I try another one?"

"Satoko!"

"It's fine," Sadame laughed, grabbing another jar.

She was just about to hand it to me when suddenly there was a stifled scream and dust clouded my vision.

"Move!" Kakashi shouted, but his voice suddenly sounded very distant.

Confused and alarmed, I darted my eyes between several sources of movement taking in as much information as I could.

"Get up!"

There was a blur of pink, and I was pretty sure Sakura was pushing someone away from the cart while Sasuke hastily guided the caravan away from the source of the chaos.

" _Get up!_ "

I was in a daze, suddenly unsure of how I was supposed to process what was going on around me.

"Wait, not yet-!"

 _Are we under attack?_

"S-Save me-!"

There was someone wearing a cloth mask over their mouth. I didn't recognize them, but they forcefully pulled Kanjaku away from the wagon and threw him into Sadame. I heard cloth ripping, and shortly afterwards, metal clashing against metal.

" _GET UP!_ "

It finally occurred that the person yelling all this time was Sakura, and only then did I realize that I could see the sky without even looking up.

 _What the- when did I fall?_

"Snap out of it, Satoko!"

I moved without thinking and scrambled to get back onto my feet until somebody helped me up. I was about to thank them until I saw their face and realize that I had no idea who they were.

"Who the fuck ar _ghnmph?!_ "

A small but strong hand covered my mouth and yanked my head back, forcing my neck to crane out against a cold blade.

Except for some reason, I couldn't quite bring myself to get worried.

 _I think I just skipped panic and fear and went straight to acceptance._

Once I was immobilized, whoever was grabbing me started giving orders and making demands.

"Nobody move!" Their voice was rather high. I could hear their breath trembling next to my ear. It was rather uncomfortable and kind of annoying, to be honest. "Hand over the wagons and you'll be free to go!"

"Don't worry about these types," Hanjou said in a low voice. "They only know how to bluff."

 _That'd be a lot more reassuring if I wasn't the one with the knife at her throat._

"Don't test me!" The bandit behind me gave me a violent shake as a form of intimidation.

I tensed instinctively, and my fingers twitched to do _something_ while my brain knew that it was better to do nothing but wait and observe. Oddly enough, it was the first time since the chaos started that I had a chance to assess the situation. I started by analyzing myself.

Despite being held hostage, I noted my heartrate was unusually steady. My arms rested by my side, and my hands were relaxed. My breaths were short, but that was only because the position my neck was in made it hard to breathe. I was starting to fight to keep my eyes open and I wondered if it was due to being short of breath.

"Lower your knife, then we can discuss," Kakashi said with authority. "You'll gain nothing if you hurt her."

I wanted to say something myself, but my mouth felt dry and my tongue felt numb. I got the feeling that even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to pronounce anything coherent.

"We wouldn't lose anything, either," a short-haired bandit said curtly. "Just make it quick and easy and give us what we want."

I scanned the people in my line of sight during their exchange, taking note of everyone's positions, including the five bandits who started the whole thing.

Sakura and Sasuke were to my right. It looked like they were protecting Kanjaku and Sadame from two bandits - one with a ponytail and the other with a bandana tied around their head. Kakashi was by the wagons with Hanjou and Tomi. He was facing three bandits on his own - one with an undercut, one with a mask, and another with an eyepatch. Everybody was currently at a stalemate now that I was a hostage, but despite the tension, I felt at ease.

Maybe it was because the person behind me was feeling nervous?

 _Wait, how did I even know that?_

There was something subconscious about the way I registered the emotions of the person behind me, but when I focused on their presence, I realize that their breaths were shallow and fast, and their grip was shaky and hesitant.

 _Huh. Maybe I was using Protagonist's instincts._

I didn't have time to think about that at the moment, though, because suddenly the bandits became much more aggressive and pressure was added to the knife on my throat.

"Hurry it up, we don't have all day!"

"Uh, guys," I choked, this time reaching up to grasp at the bandit's arm.

"Kill her if you want. It's a shinobi's job to die for the sake of their village," Kakashi said an empty voice that nearly gave me goosebumps. "I just wonder if it's really worth the trouble."

I locked eyes with Kakashi, silently questioning everything he just said. He stared back with a gaze of certainty, and I suddenly realized that I was hardly in any danger at all.

 _Oh man, these bandits kinda really suck at what they do._

I realized then that I could break free whenever I wanted, and it wasn't long until both my teammates caught on and added fuel to the fire.

"We'll just take that opening to attack and have you imprisoned for murder instead of attempted theft," Sakura added with an air of nonchalance.

 _I don't know what they teach at the Academy, but it's definitely a lot more than I ever thought._

"There's no getting off easy for murdering a shinobi. And a child, no less," Sasuke finished with a rather smug expression.

The grip around my neck faltered.

Kakashi's eye flickered to the side.

I yanked the bandit's arm away, and everybody else moved with me.

"Shit-!"

I tightened my grip around the hand with the knife and stomped as hard as I could on the bandit's instep at the same time. They yelped in surprised and pain, but I left no room for them to catch their breath and jabbed their wrist, making them drop the knife. I threw my elbow back into whatever part of their torso I could hit before stumbling away from them.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Get back!"

" _Aaagh!_ "

I could barely register what was going on around me. My focus was entirely on every move and step I made. It all came too naturally, and I was certain that it was because of Protagonist.

 _I'd hate to think about why self-defence comes so naturally to him._

The knife glistened in the sunlight, and I grabbed the bandit's arm and spun them around before they could even think about picking up the knife again. My body continued to move on its own, and I hit the backs of their knees to force them into the ground and used their jacket to tie their hands behind their back.

I gave the bandit an aggressive shove into the ground before picking up the knife for myself, then took a moment to catch my breath before shaming them.

"Dude, seriously, if you're gonna threaten someone with a knife, at least do it right," I snickered, tapping the blunt edge of the knife against the bandit's head. "Oh man, I can't believe this is how I survived."

I was about to drag the bandit off to the side, but my head pounded and my vision went black for a split second before my legs gave out.

"Oh, whoa, head rush," I groaned, blinking rapidly until the dizziness faded.

"Satoko!" I looked up and vaguely recognized Kanjaku rushing to my side. "Are you alright?"

I nodded slowly and leaned against her for support. "Yeah, just a little tired."

"Oh, would you like to try a bit of one of the spices? They might help wake you up."

I shook my head and stood up. "It's alright, I tried some earlier. I think I just need to take it easy for now."

Kanjaku blinked, but responded with a simple, "Ah, I see."

When I finally looked up, my team was just finishing tying up the other bandits while the others cleaned up anything that spilled during the attack.

"I should go help reload the wagon."

"You go ahead and rest. It's better that we clean up the goods ourselves, anyway," he insisted.

Not feeling the urge to be particularly considerate, I nodded and let him lead me back to the others.

"Poor Tsumi-chan, she's terrified," Sadame cooed, petting the four-legged hellspawn. It whinnied and snorted. I cursed at it in my head.

"Let's take a break to regroup. It's about time for lunch, anyway," Kakashi said, tightening the last knot. "I'll send a message back to Konoha to handle these guys."

He bit his thumb and after a blur of hand seals, slammed his hand onto the ground. There was a puff of smoke and before it even cleared, I already had my arms spread wide open to greet the source of my serotonin rush.

" _PUPPIES!_ "

All seven of them were there, with Pakkun seated on Buru's head as usual. I immediately started shuffling over with the sudden strong desire to befriend them all.

Sakura gasped, startled by their sudden appearance.

"Yo, Kakashi," Pakkun greeted with the voice of an old man.

Sasuke flinched. "It talks."

"Is he a summon?" Sakura asked. "We learned about them in the Academy, but I've never seen one before."

Kakashi nodded. "A number of higher-ranked shinobi have summoning contracts."

"Hey, boy." The pug hopped off and ran over to Sasuke before proudly seating himself at his feet. "I'm not an 'it' - I'm Pakkun."

Sasuke stared at the ninken for a brief moment, looking rather flustered from being confronted by a dog. "Oh. Uh, sorry."

 _He apologizes to the dog but not his teammates. Of course._

I couldn't be bothered to make fun of him. There were much more pressing matters to attend to, such as petting these puppies and touching their paws.

"I'm Satoko!" I introduced brightly, holding out my hand instinctively.

"Hm? Oh, you three must be Kakashi's pups," Pakkun said, plopping his paw into my hand.

I almost cried.

"D...Dreams do come true…" I sniffed, gently shaking his paw through teary eyes.

Pakkun immediately lit up, and although his expression didn't quite show it, his tail certainly did.

"I like this one," he declared while sniffing my hand. "Hey, you're bleeding."

"What?" I checked my hands and sure enough, there was a long gash across the back of my left hand, not unlike the one Protagonist got during his Wave Mission. "Oh. I didn't realize."

 _Uncanny._

"It doesn't hurt?" Sakura asked, checking my hand.

I shook my head and wiped away the dripping blood. "Not really. It's not that deep," I said, closely examining the cut.

 _More like it's already healing. I wonder if being a jinchuuriki increases pain tolerance, too?_

"Or you're so scared your entire body's gone numb," Sasuke taunted.

" _You wanna go?_ "

"Stop it! You just barely survived a life or death situation," Sakura scolded fiercely this time, acting more like her usual hot-headed self. Shortly afterwards, however, she sighed, her gaze fixated on the ground. "I wonder if we can handle this sort of mission after all…"

"We were hired to protect them from these types of bandits or gangs, so we'll be continuing the mission," Kakashi said as if he was waiting for the right timing. "Anyway, nice job, you three. Considering it was your first real battle...it could've been worse," he said, giving me a look.

"Hey, I didn't ask to be a hostage," I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"You managed to escape due to their mistake. A shinobi should depend on their skills, not luck."

I slumped my shoulders and nodded.

 _Hopefully there won't_ be _a next time._

"In any case, let me clean it. Pakkun, I need you to send a message back to Konoha to pick these guys up. Tell the others to watch over them while we're gone," Kakashi said, nodding towards the bandits. "Sasuke, Sakura, help them reload the caravan. Satoko, show me your hand."

On his orders, everybody nodded and dispersed while I held out my hand.

"Let's meet again soon!" I called out to Pakkun as he left and grinned when he barked back. "I want ninken, too."

"You'll have to be better than this if you want to handle a summon," Kakashi murmured, checking my hand.

"It doesn't hurt," I said truthfully. "And it's already healing, anyway."

His eye flickered up at me at those words, and I looked back with the intent to push the subject. I'd been meaning to confront him about the topic for a while now, but it was hard to be alone with him. I wasn't going to miss my chance while I still had it.

"D'you think it's because of the Kyuubi? It's always been like this, but it's not like I have anybody to compare to." I spoke quietly, and Kakashi remained silent. His hand was tense around mine. "You're a jounin, aren't you? Shouldn't you know something about it? Nobody tells me anything."

The look in his eye was grave, and he wordlessly cleaned and wrapped my wound for a moment before eventually deciding on what to say.

"They don't tell us everything," he said in a way that made it sound like an apology. "How did you know about the Kyuubi?"

"Oh, yeah, some chuunin named Mizuki tried to kill me like, a day before I graduated. He spilled the beans about me being the Demon Fox or whatever which, when I thought about it, explains a lot, actually. It's kinda like, at least the people who bugged me kinda had a reason for it, right?" I laughed sheepishly. "Oh, and also he tried to kill Iruka-sensei."

He paused for a moment, seemingly at a loss of words. Then, he said, "I'm sorry that happened."

I like to think that at least part of that was sincere.

"That rule about not telling me's pretty stupid, too," I sighed, flexing my hand once Kakashi was done bandaging it. "It's kinda like, way to keep me in the dark about half of my existence, right? At least then I'd know _why_ strangers kept giving me a hard time."

I was about to mention Minato and Kushina - in passing without names, of course - but decided that maybe I should save that for another time. Although it didn't seem like it to me, I probably just dropped at least a small bomb on Kakashi by suddenly bringing it up.

His gaze was heavy. Then, he gently patted my wounded hand and stood up straight again.

"Sorry I didn't help you earlier. I got you injured. Still, you were surprisingly calm enough to assess the situation yourself." He smiled with his one eye and gave me a thumbs up. "Good work."

I stared at his thumb and blankly returned the gesture while my mind lingered on his words.

 _I_ was _pretty calm, wasn't I?_ I dropped my arm, not fully registering that Kakashi had left, but enough so that I wasn't giving a thumbs up to nobody. _Maybe I'm better at this ninja stuff than I thought._

"Satoko, hurry up and eat something so we can go," Sakura said, breaking me from my thoughts.

"But I wanna pet the ninken…" I whined, looking towards them as though we were star-crossed lovers. "I don't even know their names!"

"I'll introduce you to them when we have more time," Kakashi said, returning to guide me away from the ninken and towards the wagon. "We're on a schedule."

"That's a promise," I said, holding out my pinky.

I stared at him long and hard with no signs of backing down until he finally sighed and hooked his pinky with mine. I grinned victoriously.

 _Literally got him wrapped around my finger._

The sun was now disappearing behind the trees, and Kakashi acknowledged it by saying, "Let's look for a place to spend the night."

"I think this area is big enough for the wagons," Kanjaku said once we found a suitable area.

"Haa, my feet are sore." Sakura complained. She sighed in relief as she took a seat by a tree and pulled off her sandals.

"You're pretty free-spirited, huh," Tomi laughed lightheartedly, looking over in her direction.

"Huh?" Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and she tucked her feet in to sit in a more reserved manner. "N-Not really! It's just been a while since I've walked for so long, that's all."

 _Still not putting the sandals back on, though,_ I noted silently.

"No kidding," I sighed, plopping down next to her. "I think it'd hurt less to walk on my hands."

"A shinobi shouldn't be complaining about these kinds of things," Kakashi said. I would've called it scolding if not for the fact that he said it with as much motivation as a dead sloth. "Help them feed the horse."

As previously mentioned, with absolute genuine seething hatred and disgust: I hate horses.

So one might guess that I wasn't exactly pleased to be the one approaching the quadrupedal sinner with its bucket of fodder.

"Don't worry, Tsumi-chan here is as gentle as can be," Hanjou reassured.

"It's looking at me funny," I hissed, glaring at its oblong face.

"Her eyes are on the sides of her face. She only looks like she is," Sakura informed from behind me.

"She likes being pet right above the nose," Tomi said. "Give it a try!"

I made a face. "What if it thinks I'm a bandit?"

"It's a useful skill for a shinobi to get along with animals," Kakashi said, gently patting it on its head. "They may turn out to be an invaluable comrade."

 _Pshaw._ I made a face. _The day I make a summoning contract with a horse is the day Sasuke forgives his brother._

"I'm sure there're plenty of other animals I can-"

 _Chomp._

"OW- _WHAT THE HELL-_ "

There was a sudden sharp, tugging pain on my head, and before I could register what was going on, I was pulled off my feet and stumbled back into Satan's fursona.

"WHY ARE YOU BITING ME?!"

"Tsumi-chan, no!" Hanjou scolded, smacking it from behind. "You can't eat that!"

" _IT'S RIPPING MY SCALP OFF._ "

"Satoko, what did you do?" Sakura said, naturally pinning the blame on me.

I was finally released from my captor's merciless grasp and immediately checked my head for any bald spots.

"I didn't do anything! This thing just suddenly decided it wanted to _kill me_ , that's all!"

"She must've thought your hair was food," Tomi tried while failing to hold back her laughter. "Are you alright?"

I didn't mean to ignore Tomi, but my attention was currently drawn towards the suspect of my _attempted murder,_ so I skipped responding to her and went straight to sharply nodding my chin towards the muscular cow.

"You tryin'a pick a fight?!"

Kakashi sighed deeply from the other side of the hairy embodiment of sin. "Satoko."

"You wanna go?!"

"Stop fighting the horse, Satoko."

" _Fight me, you minimalist zebra._ "

"Hey, provoke her like that and she might really do it," Sadame warned. "Tsumi-chan's kicks are no joke!"

"You could say the same about its biting," I grumbled, rubbing my head to ease the throbbing pain that still persisted.

"Maybe if you took better care of it, it'd look less like fodder," Sakura commented rather snootily.

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from making a very crude insult.

 _She's a twelve-year-old with self-esteem issues. Twelve-year-old with self-esteem issues. Don't talk shit about the twelve-year-old with self-esteem issues._ I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _Okay. I got this._

"I'll do what I want with my hair," I finally said in the same tone, and the excitement from the whole incident dissipated.

"Shut up and eat," Sasuke ordered and forced a pack of beef jerky into my hands.

 _Not a huge fan, but who am I to be picky when my only other option is soldier pills?_

I took the pack and grinned. "Aw, are you looking out for me?"

"I'm giving you something to keep your mouth busy," he insisted.

I grinned obnoxiously, but decided to end the teasing there, if only because Kakashi started giving out orders to set up camp.

"Satoko, Sasuke, set up the fire pit. Sakura, go get some firewood."

"What about you?" she huffed, pulling her sandals back on.

"I have to keep watch, of course," the jounin said while pulling out his book as if it weren't a blatant contradiction.

 _Asshole._

I left Sasuke to set up a barrier of rocks to contain the fire while I went to drag some logs over to sit on. I glanced at the other members in passing to see what they were up to and noticed that Kanjaku was focused intensely on the trees.

 _What's he looking at?_

Now that I thought about it, he always seemed to be looking away from the group. It didn't seem like he knew that I'd already tried the spices, either, despite the fact that he was sitting right next to Sadame.

 _He must've really been fixated on something to miss that entire exchange._

Curious, I scanned my surroundings to see what might be of interest in the trees. It gave me that bizarre feeling of nostalgia despite the fact that everything was still so foreign. Trees I'd never seen before turned up in my new memories, and I could vaguely recall Protagonist learning about using them as landmarks during the early years of the Academy.

"Kanjaku-san," I said, getting his attention. "Shinobi tend to remember certain things to use as landmarks. I was wondering if merchants use the same technique during their travels?"

"Hm?" He had to take to a moment to realize that I was talking to him and looked rather flustered by the sudden question. "Oh, yes, usually to get an approximation on how far into their travels they've gone. Some landmarks are used for meeting clients or other traders halfway, too."

"Ah." I nodded in understanding, then asked my follow-up question. "Is that why you've been so focused on the trees?"

Kanjaku visibly froze. If he wasn't flustered before, he certainly was now.

He broke the faint tension in the air with a laugh and shook his head. "You're sharper than you look, huh."

"Y'know, I get that a lot lately." I grinned innocently. "So, what's the reason?"

"Your guess was right," he admitted. "Merchants use trees as meeting points for making trades en route. Sometimes clients will prefer that over meeting in the village."

 _Makes sense,_ I thought and nodded in understanding.

"Satoko, hurry up," Sasuke called, irritated by my lack of contribution to the firepit.

"Don't you have _any_ sort of patience?" I muttered, leaving Kanjaku behind as I dragged a log over. "It's not like we can do much until Sakura-chan gets back with the firewood, anyway."

"I'm back!"

"...Damn it."

Campfires were great, even if they were in the middle of a country that was technically foreign to me and I was mostly accompanied by total strangers. Since we were resting, the caravan played their instruments and sang songs while we made congee with dried meat and some of the spices that weren't for trading. It was simple, but it was comforting and easy on the stomach, which was definitely appreciated after the day we had.

"Here, have some tea with it, too," Kanjaku said, offering the pot. "It'll help calm your nerves."

"Thanks." I blew on it before taking a sip, but immediately paused before I swallowed.

 _It tastes like the spice Sadame gave me._

There was a knot twisting in my stomach, and although I wasn't exactly sure why, my gut was telling me not to swallow. Silently, I dribbled the tea back into the cup and made sure nobody was watching before dumping it in the grass behind me.

"Are you feeling better?" Takara asked, suddenly taking a seat next to me with a cup of tea of her own. "You looked tired after we got attacked. Cheerful, but tired."

I nodded and grinned to myself, casually arranging my hands to cover the suspiciously empty cup. "Puppies make everything better."

"I agree."

"You guys should consider getting dogs. Dogs are cute and friendly."

"Horses are, too."

I made a face and shook my head. "Nah."

"Tsumi-chan is very gentle.

I made even more of a face. "Do you not remember the time it literally tried to _eat_ me?"

Takara laughed quietly, modestly covering her mouth as she did so. "She was just hungry."

"See, now you're just proving my point," I said, side-eyeing her. "Hey, are you cold? You're shivering."

Either she was hiding it before or I was just really unobservant, but her shoulders were trembling and she was holding her hands between her thighs to keep them warm.

"Not really, I'm alright," she insisted, but I was already taking off the red muffler I kept around my waist so I could give it to her.

"Here, wear this."

"Won't you be cold, then?"

I shook my head and set it on her lap. "I've got thick skin."

 _And still a Canadian at heart. Night chills can kiss my frosty ass._

Still with a bit of hesitance, Takara accepted the muffler with a smile. "Thanks, I'll return it in the morning."

"It's about t-"

"AH!"

I immediately tensed up while Takara just about nearly fainted. I glanced back and gave Kakashi a disapproving look while shaking my head.

"Y'gotta stop sneaking up on on people, old man."

"...Sorry," he apologized sheepishly as he helped Takara stabilize herself.

"N-No, I apologize, I'm just a bit on edge," she said bowing her head.

"That's understandable." Kakashi gave her a reassuring pat on the back before addressing me. "As I was saying, it's about time we all get some sleep. The three of you will stand guard, first. I'll stay with you guys for the first hour so you get the hang of it."

"Well that's uncharacteristically thoughtful of you."

This time, he was the one giving me a disapproving look. "Let's go. Takara-san, please make yourself comfortable. There'll be someone on guard all night, so there's no need to worry."

Which was true for the first half hour, but when the caravan members started drifting off to sleep, it looked like my teammates were, too.

"Sensei…" Sakura yawned, nodding her head. "I...I'm sorry, but I suddenly feel really tired…"

"I don't…" Sasuke drawled, looking just as tired, "Something...isn't right."

Panic struck like a bolt of lightning, and only then did I remember that I forgot to mention something incredibly important.

"The tea," I whispered, but the realization had come too late.

Just as I was about to warn my teammates, a kunai whizzed past my cheek and nearly took my ear off. It was that exact moment when I knew that whatever the mission was really about, nothing could've prepared me for what was to come.

* * *

 **Author's note** : hey consider keeping me company on tumblr! My url is youridiotwriter and sometimes I post extra stuff for SATOKO (there will be many extra stuff for this chapter probably) and also write original fics about dead assholes who just keep on dying.


	11. The Mediocre Escape 1

**Summary** : Satoko experiences her first enemy encounter. She wouldn't recommend partaking in such activities on a regular basis.

* * *

I hadn't even registered the stinging pain from my cut when Kakashi tackled me to the ground. Two more weapons missed us by a hair, and only then did I find the time to breathe.

"Wake them up," he ordered, rolling to the side just in time to block a kunai with his own.

"W-What about Sasuke and Sakura?" I gasped, shuffling back. "T-They're-"

" _Now!_ "

I nodded shakily and got on my feet, only to stumble towards my teammates and the sleeping caravan.

Sasuke and Sakura were struggling to even stand up straight, let alone defend against whoever the hell was attacking us. Even so, they managed to stagger their way towards our clients and urge them to get to safety.

"E-Everybody up!" I finally managed to yell, yanking them up onto their feet without mercy. "Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake uAGH GOD STRANGER DANGER-"

My panicked wake up call was interrupted by a masked figure ruthlessly swinging a kunai at me. I just barely avoided tripping and hastily grabbed my own kunai, except it was kinda my first time ever getting challenged to a _fight to the fucking death_ , so everything else in my weapon pouch spilled out along with it.

My entire inventory clattered onto the ground, but I barely even registered the sound and was instead more focused on the clashing of metal occurring mere inches away from my face. Seeing how I was caught in a life or death situation with very little time to think and react, I only did what came naturally.

I begged for my pathetic mortal life.

"Okay look buddy I have no idea what the fuck you're doing attacking us outta nowhere but I'm pretty sure you can just do whatever you're here to do without trying to kill me like I'm literally twelve what the fuck am I gonna do about it _oH GOD WHY_ -"

Out of nowhere, the person attacking me lunged forward, ready to plunge their very sharp and very dangerous weapon right into my chest. With Protagonist's lack of practical shinobi instincts and my lack of practical shinobi anything, the only thing I could do was slam my eyes shut and brace for whatever agonizing pain came before _dying._

There was a scream, metal clattering, a loud crack, and then silence.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and nearly shat myself when I saw my attacker staring right at me, eyes wide and practically bulging out of their head. There was an arm tucked under their chin, and when I realized who it belonged to, my legs nearly gave out in relief.

"Oh my god holy shit I am _so not ready for this_ -"

"Well you're going to have to be," Kakashi said, tossing the corpse aside. I watched it bounce heavily with a dull thud.

 _No pain or dying on my part, at least._

And at the end of the day, isn't that really all that matters?

"Sasuke and Sakura are in no condition to fight, and this isn't a random attack - they're here to target someone," the jounin continued, paying the corpse no mind at all. "Stay close to me."

"What about-" I started, dozens of questions trying to spill out all at once, but he was already gone. With my mind blank and body numb, I knew nothing but to stumble after him before I was left to fend for myself.

A scream nearly shocked me into stopping in my tracks.

"They're after Takara!" Hanjou shouted while fending off a nukenin with a weird-looking tanto as her only line of defence. Where she got it from, I had no idea, and my mind was too blank to even remember that I was supposed to be part of the line of defence, let alone figure out what was really going on.

 _How the hell did Protagonist have time for flashbacks during his battles?!_

"Get away from her!" I heard Kanjaku shout, and when I turned to look, he was standing between Takara and the enemy.

I only blinked, and in the next instant, he was on the ground with blood all over his face.

"U-Uncle Ka-hn-!" Broken sounds came from Takara as she clutched her chest, body trembling and eyes fixated on the man whose body only became stiller by the second.

There was no time to mourn, however, nor was there time for me to fully register that I had just witnessed a murder for the first time. The nukenin didn't take a moment to rest and would only take more of us out if we didn't do something, fast.

"Distract them while the others get Takara to safety," Kakashi ordered, pulling me behind him. He clearly had a much better grasp of what was going on, so I let myself get moved around because I was really in no position to decide things for myself.

"Distract?" I repeated absently, but he was too busy fending off the two attackers to answer me.

It was too easy to say that I was at a loss. I didn't expect much from my first enemy encounter, but part of me was hoping that Protagonist's instincts would kick in and that maybe I could automatically disarm someone or _something_. That was far from the case.

My body didn't move and my mind was completely blank.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't even know how many people were attacking, or who they were affiliated with. Were they bandits? Nukenin? Mercenaries? It was too dark and everybody was moving too quickly for me to figure out what was what, and this time, I was anything but calm.

A realization dawned upon me, and my legs nearly gave out.

If there was a target, that meant somebody hired these guys to kill them.

And you know who gets hired to kill people?

 **Assassins.**

 _Good going, Satoko; CLEARLY THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE WAVE MISSION._

"Satoko!" Kakashi barked, shoving one of the enemies aside. I jerked my head up reflexively. "Stay focused - you know what to do."

I'm pretty sure that was closest thing to encouragement I've ever heard from him since we became Team 7.

"B-But the others-" I stammered, just barely able to register a glimpse of what I saw: Hanjou and Sadame fending off one attacker while Tomi, Sasuke, and Sakura struggled against another. Not good at all.

"They'll be fine," Kakashi said with such certainty that I had no choice but to believe him. "Now focus, and do what you do best."

I swallowed, arms trembling as I tried to figure out what the hell he meant by that.

Did he not see that I was on the verge of collapsing? How could _I_ possibly know what to do in this situation? I only had a little over a month of ninja training under my belt. Literally what could I possibly even be good at, let alone the _best_ at? Not to mention that two of the four shinobi were drugged and one was totally useless because she was too busy shitting herself out of fear. No matter what, our numbers weren't looking too hot.

 _...Oh._

I wiped my clammy palms against my jacket and shook out my wrists.

 _I get it now._

"There's really the only thing I _can_ do, I think," I murmured to myself before inhaling deeply.

I did my best to calm down - my chakra had to be steady for me to get anywhere with this. Then, when I deemed myself as ready as I'd ever be, I breathed out.

"Multi Shadow Clone Technique!"

And in an instant, I was _everywhere._

"What the-?" one of the enemies cursed, startled by the sudden change in situation.

"GET FUCKED, JERKWADS," I yelled, and my several dozen clones yelled the same.

"I said distract, not provoke," Kakashi said, but was taking advantage of the situation nevertheless.

"This is literally the most distracting thing ever don't lie to me-"

He interrupted by grabbing my wrist and tugging me along, taking just enough time to pluck a clone out of the crowd along the way.

"Transform them into everybody," he ordered when the enemy was out of earshot, dropping my wrist. "We're going to create a diversion."

Starting to get into the groove of this whole fighting thing, I nodded and started to focus my chakra.

"Y'all heard the man!" I shouted before expanding chakra from my core, and my clones became an assortment of Team 7 and the caravan.

"Sasuke! Sakura!" Kakashi yelled from across the clearing while making a short series of hand seals. "Now!"

I looked back just in time to see Sasuke and the caravan each grabbing a Takara, one of which I figured was the real one. The snap from the reins startled the devilspawn into action, and in an instant, my teammates and the caravan forced the enemy to split up by disappearing into different parts of the forest. And when I say disappeared, I mean they _literally disappeared._

"Where'd they go?" I gasped, stumbling after Kakashi. Despite the fact that I was still very literally running for my life, it helped that I was with the elite jounin and not, let's say, the two drugged genin or merchants.

"I cast a cloaking genjutsu on all of us. It'll buy us some time and help the others escape. Let's go," Kakashi said while lifting a third Takara!Clone bridal style. "It's only a matter of time before they catch up."

"They're already cleaning up my distraction," I warned while chasing after him with great haste, wincing at every stab and burn that attacked various parts of my body.

It was already a known fact that when I dispelled a clone, I got its memories, but it also included their memories of being _killed_. Now, it wasn't as traumatizing as I'd thought it'd be, nor did it hurt that much, but it still stung like a bitch and kinda really seriously freaked me out every time the image of a kunai flying straight towards my face flashed across my mind, only to be followed by a split second of sharp pain. I was just thankful there was no residual pain, like having to deal with the soreness of being stabbed and punched basically everywhere.

"Two are following us," Kakashi said as we continued to jump through the trees. I'd barely even registered the speed we were going at - it was one of the few instincts I could thank Protagonist for.

"Out of how many?"

He gave me a look that told me he wasn't impressed with my inability to assess the situation, but said nothing of it.

"Four. The fact that there were originally five of them tells me that someone _really_ wants Takara dead, so stay on guard."

I nodded once, and could finally sort my thoughts out enough to ask, "Who's protecting her?"

"The caravan has the real one," Kakashi explained with a solemn look. "Considering how they immediately knew who was being targeted, they knew being attacked was a possibility and already made preparations to escape if necessary."

"They knew?" I whispered, but another worry took priority over figuring out what exactly that meant. I bit my lip. "What about the others?"

"They'll be fine. It'll take some time for the enemy to track them through the genjutsu," Kakashi reassured.

"How are we going to meet them after?"

"I told them to regroup at the capital. Until then, we'll have to trust the caravan to keep Takara alive."

 _When the hell did he have time for that?_

Then again, I had spent most of the encounter pissing myself and just barely paying enough attention to those around me to differentiate between friend and foe.

Just then, I got a flash of images that told me one of my clones got dispelled. They'd been coming in every now and then during our escape, but this one in particular caught my attention.

"Uh, about that-"

He cut me off with a raised hand.

"They're here," he murmured, gesturing for me to stand behind him. "Protect the clone. We need to stall them."

 _Aight, fine. It can wait, I guess._

The two assassins dropped down in front of us a mere heartbeat after Kakashi set the clone down. The jounin was facing them in an instant, right hand behind his back and already armed with a kunai while his left was firm and by his side in order to center his balance. I held my breath and stood firm with my arms open to defend the clone, determined to put on a good show so the real Takara had time to escape.

"Pretty grand skills coming from a kid like you," one of them said, nodding her head towards me.

"Well, they do seem to be a student of the infamous Copy Nin," the other said.

I just barely noticed Kakashi tense at the use of his nickname, which I imagined was only because I was there. Even so, he naturally wasn't so uncomfortable as to let it get to him and used his status as a threat.

"Then you should know very well what you're up against," Kakashi said, voice low and even.

The air became heavy and dark. It was suddenly getting hard for me to breathe, and I wondered if that was what killing intent felt like. Although their eyes showed no fear, neither assassin dared to even twitch a finger. For the first time since the ambush began, they faced us on equal ground.

Now that I could actually get a good look at them, I noticed how they both wore headbands with a long scratch through Konoha's symbol. As far as I knew about nukenin, that meant it was fairly likely that they were at least chuunin-level adversaries.

Which meant I'd probably die if I tried to fight one.

I swallowed, knuckles white from gripping a kunai despite having no idea how I'd use it if they attacked.

Kakashi said nothing as he used the hand behind his back to signal at me while still gripping the kunai. The part of me that came from an uneventful city in Canada had no idea what it meant, but somewhere in my head, the signal immediately translated to a single command.

 _Run._

I breathed slow and even, eyes trained on Kakashi's back. There was a split second where I saw his shoulders tense, and somehow I just _knew_ to grab the clone and make a break for it.

Behind me, bodies shifted and weapons clashed.

 _Oh god oh god oh g_ _od oh god_ _oh god-_

There was a dull hit, a grunt, and suddenly, footsteps could be heard rushing after me.

 _OH MY GOD WHY ARE THESE LEGS SO TINY AND HELPLESS-_

Several kunai flew by me one after another until suddenly, a sharp pain erupted from my left calf and I immediately keeled over in pain.

"Fu-!"

Despite all the chaos, the clone had been keeping itself safe and still hadn't been dispelled yet, so at least we still had leverage.

The nukenin loomed over me with a kunai drawn. "My payment doesn't include you, so hand her over and save us both the trouble."

She stared down at me with fierce, dark eyes, and I knew that if I didn't comply soon, she'd kill us both anyway.

My mouth was dry and it felt like my throat was closing up. I always thought that my lack of fight or flight instinct was simply because the situations that triggered it - or triggered the lack thereof - weren't life-threatening enough.

I was wrong.

Turns out I really do have the worst instinctive response when coming face to face with an assassin.

Despite my instinct to freeze and literally just hope for the best, I at least knew enough to shove my hand into my weapon pouch, only to remember that all of them had spilled out back at the campsite, which left me unarmed and completely vulnerable.

My mind was blank, and without thinking, my voice rasped on its own.

"I'm probably not supposed to do that, I think?"

The nukenin grit her teeth, and that was the only warning I got before she lunged at me.

I think I might've screamed, but my heart was beating so fast it was deafening my ears, so I wouldn't know. I could still hear it, though, which meant I was alive. That was good. Being alive is always good.

"Hurry up and do something, idiot!"

I looked up towards the source of the annoyed yelling, and I saw my Takara!Clone struggling to keep the nukenin's arms incapacitated.

... _Well. Can't deny the correlation between bravery and expendability, I guess._

Without thinking much, my hands practically moved on their own and formed the hand sign I had already become far too used to. My mouth, on the other hand, wasn't so cooperative.

"M-Multiclone- shit, fuck- jutsu- _clones_ , dammit!"

Turns out saying the name really is just for theatrics.

A dozen clones appeared and immediately rushed the nukenin while I struggled to get onto my feet. Whatever hit me before made it impossible for me to flex my leg without experiencing a sharp pain, so my only option left was to try and drag myself away to buy even a second of time.

The Takara!Clone was struck and disappeared at the same time I felt a stabbing pain in my gut, and with each one I felt, the less time I had until I would be the nukenin's main target again.

"Kakashi-sensei!" I shouted in a panic, not knowing what else to do. Making clones was the only plan of action I had. Well, that and nearly pissing myself, but that technically wasn't part of the plan.

"A fake," the nukenin spat, clearing the last clone. It disappeared with a hollow poof, and through the dissipating smoke, she stared right at me. "Which means one of you knows where the real one is."

Before I could even blink, the nukenin snatched me off the ground and held a kunai to my neck.

"So tell me - where is she?"

A split second later and Kakashi arrived, causing the enemy to spin around and show that she was holding me hostage, and unlike last time, I found it hard to breath or think. There was no time to make any observations, and definitely no mistakes on the nukenin's behalf to get me out of the situation.

"You won't get any information if you harm my student," Kakashi glowered.

"Well, the more time you waste here, the more time my comrades have to chase down the others," the nukenin purred. Her breath was warm against my ear, which I found kind of annoying and gross, despite how equally terrifying she was. "And don't think they won't simply kill them all in order to find the real one."

"Okay, so, you're not gonna believe this, but," I started, swallowing hard, "you might not buy your friends as much time as you thought."

When a lot of clones got dispelled at once, it could take some time to fully register all their memories, which sometimes meant that I wouldn't be aware of the extra card up my sleeve that I'd technically given myself until a while later. This was one of those times.

Kakashi's gaze flickered between me and the nukenin, and just as the sound of footsteps could be heard behind her, she spun around and stabbed my clone with the kunai she once held against my neck.

"OH GOD FREEDOM-" I gasped, immediately shoving the nukenin away and getting myself to safety before I collapsed under the weight of my injured leg.

Kakashi quite literally jumped on the opportunity to attack. During the split second the nukenin was distracted with my clone, there was a dull crack, and her body went limp. The only sound after that was my heavy breathing. My left leg continued to burn and scream for medical attention, but my eyes couldn't tear away from the corpse.

 _It's been less than 24 hours and I've already been taken hostage twice and witnessed murder thrice. I bet that's not even a record._

Finally, when Kakashi started walking towards me, I slowly looked up at him and flashed him a stiff smile. From the looks of it, he didn't even break a sweat, though his hair somehow managed to look even messier than usual.

"How's that for depending on my skills?" I said while using my hands to bend my left leg into a more comfortable position. Flexing it just made it hurt even more for some reason. "Bet you didn't know my clones could make clones, too."

 _Heh. Clone-ception._

"You put them to good use," he said in a way that made me feel like it was supposed to be a compliment, but his voice was as dead as usual so it was hard to say. "You know, yelling only gives away your location. What if the enemy showed up instead of me?"

"I had faith in you?" I offered meekly.

The jounin made a sound that was somewhere between a grunt and a scoff before crouching next to me. "Let me see your leg."

Slowly, I extended my left leg and immediately tensed at what I saw.

"Holy _fuck,_ " I choked, staring wide-eyed at the shuriken lodged into my calf. Only then did the pain _really_ start to kick in, and my eyes started to water. " _Shiiiiiiiiiit-_ "

 _Well, shit, no wonder I couldn't stand up._

"Relax, it'll hurt less when I take it out," Kakashi instructed, setting my foot on his knee to stabilize it. "Deep breath."

I squeezed my eyes shut as I exhaled and tried my best to pretend I wasn't getting an inch of metal yanked out of my leg. It didn't really work, and I clenched my jaw in an agonizing attempt to not curse up a storm. I sucked in deep breaths through gritted teeth, knuckles white from gripping the edges of my shirt, then exhaled quick and sharp. Simply saying it hurt was a bit of an understatement, especially when the worst injury I'd ever gotten up until that moment was a sprained ankle.

"It's a pretty shallow wound, so for you, it should heal over night," he said as he wiped the shuriken and added it to his own inventory.

 _Oh, sure. Just casually loot the weapon that stabbed your student. Why not. At least give it to_ me _, asshole._

I sniffed, watching intently as he bandaged my wound.

"Yeah, I think I can feel it closing already," I mumbled, noting the unexpectedly small amount of blood seeping through the bandages and how the pain had already become mostly tolerable.

After tying off the bandage, Kakashi set my foot back on the ground and helped me up.

"What happened to the other one?" I asked, rubbing the ghost pains that lingered from my dispelled clones.

"Dead," he said bluntly. "We'll have go back to dispose of this one and the one at the camp."

I pursed my lips and nodded slowly. "I'm sure it'll be a great learning experience."

Now that I was out of immediate danger, I suddenly remembered the memories from a certain clone that I'd gotten before the assassins caught up.

"So, uh, Sensei," I said, pressing my thumb into my hand. "There's, uh… Well, here's a funny story."

Kakashi propped the corpse against a tree and looked up at me skeptically. His expression told me he already knew that whatever I was about to say, it wasn't going to be good.

"What is it, Satoko?" he asked like a father to a child who had just put some god forsaken foreign object in their mouth.

"Y'know how you said the caravan took the real Takara 'cause they had a plan or something?"

Kakashi nodded, and I bit my lip.

"Well, here's the kicker; the memories I got were ones of hiding in the caravan's wagon. As Takara. Which kinda means _that_ Takara got dispelled. So, like… I'm _pretty_ sure the caravan didn't take the real one."

If I had to be specific, I distinctly had memories of something falling against my clone, which is what made it dissipate in the first place, but the details didn't matter.

I smiled awkwardly at the jounin and shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, I felt like this mixup was my fault. Too many Takara!Clones, maybe.

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. Which, to be honest, was the only natural response to realizing that the real Takara was with the _drugged up genin._

* * *

 **Author's note** : Horrible timing aside, Satoko is ivery/i upset she's missing out on her teammates' doped up escapades.

Find me on tumblr at youridiotwriter for sometimes extra stuff :D


	12. The Mediocre Escape: Chain of Disasters

**Summary** : Sasuke and Sakura vow to take this chapter to their graves. Takara wants to send them there.

* * *

One moment I was sleeping, the next I was narrowly escaping the clutch of the people coming after my life.

I felt dizzy and lethargic, like I hadn't quite woken up yet despite the chaos. Something didn't feel right, I thought, but I couldn't quite place it, nor could I have done anything about it even if I could. Voices blurred into one and I could barely discern who was saying what, or even who was who. I opted to just avoid anybody who came too close to me and scrambled away from anything that moved.

A figure, blurred by their speed and my lightheadedness, materialized before me. My mind churned out the many ways he could kill me at a million miles per hour, so when I saw his knife reflecting the moonlight, I slammed my eyes shut, covered my ears, and screamed.

It wasn't my proudest moment, but it was also my first time facing death right in the face, so I pardoned myself for the graceless behaviour.

I heard the sound of metal scraping against metal and took a peek only after I realized that I was still alive. I recognized Hanjou-san standing between me and the assassin and sighed a breath of relief.

"They're after Takara!" Hanjou-san shouted as she fought off the assassin with her previously-concealed tanto, then glanced behind her shoulder at me. "Are you alright?"

My voice was caught in my throat, and it took me a moment after to remember that she was too busy saving my life to see me nodding.

"Y-Yes," I finally said, forcing myself to swallow my nerves. "What do I do?"

"Stay close to the wagon, we'll get you out of here," she said after shoving the assassin away to buy me some time to escape. "Go!"

I nodded and tried to sprint away in a state of numb panic, but it was like my legs weren't working. Everything felt lopsided and I could barely run in a straight line. I wanted to convince myself that I'd be safe anyway, but it was hard to when my only line of defense was three children and a man with one eye.

Hanjou-san and the others had warned me that we might get attacked, so I'd been mentally preparing myself in case it ever happened. While they weren't specially trained like shinobi, the caravan members showed me the concealed weapons hidden in their instruments before Team 7 had arrived and told me to get in the wagon if we did get attacked. Anybody being smuggled usually had reason for someone to put a hit on them, she had said rather nonchalantly, which meant that preparing for the possible dangers was part of the job.

Before I could get to relative safety, however, another assassin appeared before me, immediately stopping me in my tracks. I held my breath and braced myself for the worst, but instead, someone else stepped in front of me.

"Get away from her!"

One moment, my uncle was there; the next, he was on the ground with blood spilling from his head.

Everything felt cold, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Whatever lightheadedness I was feeling before came back twofold, and my heartbeat pounded in my ears like a drum. I felt my body swaying and I stepped back and forth, struggling to keep my balance. It felt like everything I saw was spiralling together like a whirlpool of colours, with him lying in the center of it all.

 _Dead._ A heavy voice rang in my head. I knew it was mine, but it sounded so distant and foreign, as though it were coming from outside, and although I understood its meaning, I felt as though the connection between its meaning and what I saw remained severed.

"U-Uncle Ka-hn-!" I wanted to scream, but no words came out. It didn't matter, though - when I looked back at the assassin, I realized that I would join him soon enough.

At least, that's what I thought, but before the assassin could take another step, a whole crowd of that blonde shinobi - Satoko, if I remembered correctly - showed up out of nowhere.

 _What the-?_

"GET FUCKED, JERKWADS."

I grimaced at the provocation, but found that her voice pulled me out of shock. The few seconds Satoko gave me was apparently all I needed to compose myself. Mostly, anyway. I could hardly tell where I was in relation to the others - I could barely even register if I was moving or not, but my heartbeat had quieted and, although my vision wasn't, my head suddenly felt clearer. I knew that I had to get away no matter what, or else Uncle's sacrifice will have been for naught, so I did what came most naturally at that moment - running for my life.

I started shoving my way through the sea of clones as fast as I could, praying that I wouldn't collapse with every step I took. In the middle of my escape, over half the clones suddenly transformed into anybody that wasn't Satoko, and the crowd was littered with copies of the members of the caravan, the shinobi, and me.

 _So that's how my hair looks from the back,_ I noted idly as I tried not to let the situation take me for a ride.

Instead, somebody else did.

"Sasuke! Sakura!" Kakashi-sensei's voice sounded from across the clearing. "Now!"

The next thing I knew, Sasuke grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the crowd. I couldn't help but notice that he was a little...wobbly.

"Wha- hold on!" I stammered, nearly tripping over my feet as he dispelled a clone or two from how aggressively he was forcing his way through them. "I'm supposed to-!"

I tried to tell him that Hanjou-san had told me what to do in case of an attack, but my voice caught in my throat when the threatening figure of another assassin took a swing at me, missing only because a literal horde of clones body-slammed her into the ground at the last second.

"Hurry up," Sasuke demanded, tugging my arm. I grimaced at the sweat lining his palms. "And play your part better."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, but he didn't answer. I huffed. "Rude boy."

 _No wonder Satoko's always picking a fight with him_.

I was told to be kind towards the shinobi hired to protect me, but it was hard to keep that in mind when my life was in danger and I could barely tell left from right. Not that the kid had ever done anything to deserve my kindness, anyway.

"This way!" A higher voice guided us to a break in the trees, leading us into the forest. "We have to get away before the trees stop us."

"What?" I asked to nobody in particular, casting Sakura a confused expression as we stumbled past her.

Soon, the commotion died down and the only sounds of fighting and chaos was in the background. I keeled over and heaved, arms and legs trembling as I tried to blink my vision back into focus.

Sasuke slumped against a tree, and we were soon joined by his teammate. I noticed the two bags sitting by their feet and thanked them internally for finding the time to grab supplies, despite the chaos. I hadn't been able to retrieve any of my own belongings during the escape, but surely a shinobi's backpack would be more useful than the clothes and whatever else I had in mine.

"We have to keep moving," Sasuke mumbled weakly, looking nowhere near ready to take off again. Which was for the better, because I certainly hadn't caught my breath yet and was still trying to take in the fact that people were actually trying to kill me.

 _What the hell does anybody have to gain from killing me, anyway? What did I ever do except live a short sixteen years?_

"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?" Sakura asked, sounding tired and slow.

 _What about me?_ I thought, irritated. It was obvious enough that she had a thing for her teammate, but that didn't mean she had to completely overlook the client she was supposed to protect. _Are all Konoha genin this rude?_

"Yeah, more or less," Sasuke answered, grabbing the bag off the ground. His expression became perplexed, and when he looked down to examine the bag, he sighed. "Shit, this isn't mine."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"I took Satoko's bag by mistake," he said, opening it to check its contents. He clicked his tongue and dropped his arms while still holding the bag. "Damn it, that idiot only packed ingredients for cooking."

"Surely those can be useful somehow," I nearly pleaded.

 _I thought a shinobi's belongings was supposed to be more useful than mine!_

"Agh, my body feels so heavy…" Sakura groaned, jerking her head up as though she was trying to keep awake. "It was the tea, wasn't it…?"

After a loud sigh, she held her head and took deep breaths, as though it would help clear her mind and fix whatever was wrong with them.

"It tasted weird," she continued, her words gradually getting more sluggish. "I feel...weird."

"It was spiked," Sasuke drawled, eyes looking rather glazed and wandering, then began to wander away from the campsite himself. "Tch, can't believe I didn't notice such a…"

Sakura nodded once with a heavy drop of her head, then followed suit. I would have laughed at how ridiculous they looked if not for the horrible context.

"I also drank the tea, but I think I'm alright. I feel...oddly calm, actually," I said after having finally caught my breath again, now following them deeper into the forest. Actually, now that I thought about it, maybe the tea had something to do with why I hadn't broken down even though he was-

 _No, stop. Not now._

I closed my eyes and shook my head. It wouldn't do me well to think about him right now. I was still in danger, and so long as I wasn't having a panic attack, I had to use my time wisely to get out of it. It was an odd feeling, being thankful towards the person who drugged me, but I would be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the reduced anxiety.

"Weird…" Sakura interrupted my thoughts with a sigh and dropped her head back, knocking it against the tree. " _Ooow._ "

"Stop it, you're too loud," Sasuke hissed, looking just as worse for wear. "We need to keep moving while we still can, before the drug really takes effect. Kakashi-sensei made us invisible, so that should buy us some time."

"Invisible?" I repeated, drawn to his odd choice of words.

He nodded and opened his mouth to presumably clarify what he meant, but closed it upon a loss of words. "...Yes, invisible," he simply repeated instead.

"At least one of you is still sensible," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. "Kind of."

After a few minutes of walking, I noticed he was constantly looking at me over his shoulder. I thought it was because he was making sure I was still there until he stopped and looked at me, annoyed.

"Why are you still here?" he said rather pointedly with a heavy nod. For emphasis, I suppose. "You can disappear. You're just taking up space."

My jaw dropped and I looked down at the pipsqueak with wide eyes.

" _Excuse me?_ "

"It's… safer to travel in small numbers. If you're going to stick around, then make yourself useful and stay behind as a distraction." Sasuke took a deep breath, his eyes clearly getting heavy as he fought to stay sober, and maybe even awake. "You're just… putting us in danger like this."

" _Noo_ ," Sakura whined, clamping her hand down on my shoulder. Given how much pressure she was putting on me, it seemed to be for her own sake rather than mine. "This is fun! Satoko is _fun._ Besides, teams are supposed to stick together!"

I furrowed my brow. Something must've been _terribly_ wrong if they were mistaking my likeness for that of an obnoxious little blonde. What irked me more, however, was how Dark and Brooding seemed to genuinely consider what Perky and Pink said.

"You're supposed to protect me!" I hissed, snapping their attentions back to me.

"Clones don't get protected," Sasuke retorted, his words getting more and more sluggish by the sentence.

My jaw went slack as I stared in a brief moment of stunned silence before I finally managed to say, absolutely flabbergasted, "I'm not a clone."

The genin squinted at me, expression blank and eyes glazed as he apparently struggled very hard to process this information. Sakura was too busy stroking a nearby tree to be of any use.

"This feels so weird…" she whispered, squinting her eyes as she slowly dragged her hand across the bark. "Sasuke-kun, come feel it."

 _I'm going to die._

Thankfully, Sasuke was still sober enough to ignore Sakura's...solicitation.

"That doesn't make any sense," he finally said, his pronunciation slow and careful. "How can you be the real one if the real one is with the caravan?"

Unfortunately, he wasn't sober enough to rationalize. I sucked in a deep breath and brushed my hands through my hair, tugging them all the way down to the ends. As much as I wanted to scream, I had to be patient so I could somehow save my own hide despite being accompanied by two of the shinobi hired to do that very thing. What a waste of money.

"I'm the real one because the one with the caravan is fake. Got it? _I'm_ the real- ow! Did you just pinch me?!"

Sasuke pulled his hand back and looked between his hand and my arm with great intensity before finally saying, "...Okay, I believe you."

 _Screw patience, I'm going to kill these idiots myself._

I was just about ready to pull him by his stupid spiky hair and shake some sense into his head when Sakura contributed her insightful remark.

"Oooh _nooooo_ ," she whispered between giggles. "Somebody messed _uuuup!_ "

"You! You two messed up!" I scowled, finding myself at a loss of what to do with my hands due to being so damn frustrated.

The effect of whatever drug we had ingested was only getting stronger as time passed, which meant the longer we stood around, the less sober we would be. I didn't feel like I was getting any less coherent, but I wasn't willing to take any chances.

"Ooh, that's true, huh. Out of _aaall_ those clones, we picked the real one! What are the odds?" Sakura said, still leaning against the tree. "This is _baaaaad..._ "

Her short laughs told me she felt otherwise, or at least couldn't find it in her to take the situation seriously.

"Whatever, let's just go alrea- _OW! STOP PINCHING ME!"_

"I'm just...making sure," Sasuke said, holding his hands up defensively. Then, without warning, he shoved me so hard I knew I would get bruises on my shoulders.

"What the hell was that for?!" I demanded, but the presence of two new figures answered me without a word.

"Hand her over and there won't be a problem," one of the assassins demanded, weapons drawn. "We know you're in no shape to fight, so it would save us all the trouble."

"Get away from us!" Sakura screamed, aimlessly whipping kunai towards the enemy.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was digging through Satoko's bag and eventually pulled something out. "This should buy us some time," he said as he threw it at the assassins.

I didn't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't an explosion of light- no, not light. Instead of a blinding light, they were like small droplets raining down on the enemy, flashing in and out of existence every second like magic.

 _Glitter_ ** _._**

" *✧･ﾟ:* Whatﾟthe･hell?! *ﾟ+.*.｡ " the assassins shouted, covering their eyes and coughing from inhaling the tiny particles.

"Holy _crap!_ " Sakura exclaimed brightly, completely taken in by sight before us.

I couldn't blame her. Maybe it was because of the sheer ridiculousness of it all, but for whatever reason, I couldn't help but stare wide-eyed as a cloud of glitter sparkling under the moonlight despite the fact that death was standing a mere ten feet away from me. It might have helped that death was also sparkling under the moonlight.

"That's not used for cooking," I whispered in awe, but could only stare for so long. The next thing I knew, Sasuke had grabbed my wrist once again and was dragging me away from the two assassins. "What the hell was that?!"

"Satoko's homemade weapon, though not the one I was expecting," he answered flatly. I couldn't tell if he was impressed or annoyed. Probably a mix of both, I thought. Mostly the latter.

"Get on my back. We'll move faster that way," Sasuke demanded. I had no room to object and jumped onto his back.

He immediately sagged a little under my full weight and I braced myself for a hard landing, but he managed to stabilize himself and adjusted me into a more comfortable position before breaking into a full sprint.

"Let's go, Sakura!" he yelled behind him, and his teammate immediately rushed after us.

I sighed in relief and settled my chin on his shoulder, his face close enough for me to hear his rushed and staggered breathing.

"Sakura, stay in front of me," Sasuke ordered, nodding his head towards the front, then held out Satoko's bag to her. "And carry this."

"Where are we going?" Sakura asked with a grin as she ran ahead, slinging a bag over a shoulder each. "We should use another one of those things!"

"Focus," Sasuke hissed. "We need to escape and find shelter for the night."

"I know a place!" the kunoichi exclaimed, bouncing further ahead. "I know a _seeecret_ tunnel."

I had a feeling that Sasuke's reason for putting her in the front was less about her taking the lead and more about making sure she didn't elope with the next tree instead of running away from the two assassins trying to kill us. At least she still seemed rational enough to keep running and not make a pit stop to admire the nearest flower.

After several long minutes of running at full speed, the genin eventually began to slow to a stop just as I felt a drop of water fall on my head, followed by several others.

Sakura gasped and looked up. " _Whoaaaaa…_ The sky is _leaking_. Somebody should plug it."

I sighed heavily and slumped my head on Sasuke's shoulder in defeat. Great.

"This is good," he said in response to my despondent sighing. "The rain will cover our tracks."

"Oh. I didn't think of that, " I said, then murmured to myself, "it's getting cold, though."

I tugged at the muffler Satoko had given me earlier, pulling it over my mouth and nose. It didn't help much since it was already getting soaked by the rain, but for now, it was better than nothing.

 _I hope she's okay. I need to return this._

"We'll find shelter eventually, so we can dry off then," Sasuke said.

"That's true! You're so smart, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura swooned, and then literally swooned with the weight of the bags and almost hit her head against a tree. "Whoa-"

 _I hope for her own sake she doesn't remember this when she's sober._

I couldn't help but notice how much more coherent Sasuke was compared to her, which didn't seem to make sense if they both drank the tea. Granted, he was pretty confused and his vocabulary seemed to have diminished greatly, but thankfully he could still stay on task and most importantly, remembered that we were in danger in the first place. That didn't change the fact that he looked a little worse for wear, though.I would have offered to walk again if my feet weren't so sore from all the walking we had already done.

"The drugs haven't affected you as much as Sakura-chan. Why is that?" I finally asked. The silence was starting to feel a little unnerving, anyway.

Sasuke pondered for a moment before answering flatly, "My parents used to drug me a lot."

I stared blankly at the side of his face, mouth parted and eyes wary. "Uh…"

"They were ninjas," he said, as though it explained everything.

It did not.

I pressed my lips into a line and looked ahead. "Forget it."

I wasn't sure how long we travelled for, but I knew that I must have dozed off a bit because the next thing I knew, the rain had become a faint drizzle. Gradually, I blinked my vision clear and perked up, only then realizing that Sasuke was still carrying me.

 _A shinobi's stamina sure is something else,_ I thought, lifting my head off his shoulders.

The moon was now high up in the sky, just barely providing us with enough light through the thinning clouds. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, then set my hands on Sasuke's shoulders.

"How long has it been?" I asked, feeling much less disoriented than before.

"About an hour," Sakura answered, sounding more like herself again. She looked much more alert and no longer had a sway in her steps. "We're almost there, so you can get off Sasuke-kun now."

 _Why do I feel like she's threatening me?_

I had no interest in the boy, though, and I did want to stretch my legs out, so I complied. "I can walk the rest of the way. Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura's irritated flich did not go unnoticed, and as adorable yet still mildly irritating her crush was, I decided that maybe I shouldn't poke the bear with a stick.

The target of her affections - or perhaps victim was a more accurate title - set me down carefully with great control, which I took as an indication that he was also sober. Knowing that the two shinobi meant to protect me were back to their normal selves was greatly reassuring, especially since I was starting to sober up and was now bracing myself for the wave of stress and anxiety from the events that had transpired that was bound to eventually crash into me.

"So, you both seem like yourselves again," I said conversationally in hopes of getting my mind off the attack. "Sakura-chan, you're very fond of trees, aren't you? And you won't try to pinch me again, will you, Sasuke-san? That really hurt, you know."

The genin immediately became tense and looked away, and I stifled a laugh.

"Let's...not talk about it," Sakura laughed meekly, eyes looking anywhere but here.

"Ever," Sasuke agreed with sunken eyes, then held his hand out to Sakura. "Give me my bag."

"Oh, right!"

Before Sakura could move an inch, however, I gestured for her to stop and glared at the boy. "You could be a little more polite when asking for something, you know."

"Wha- no, no!" Sakura laughed even more nervously than before as she stepped around me to hand over the bag. "Sasuke-kun is just like that, but he doesn't really mean to be rude. Right, Sasuke-kun?"

The dark-haired genin simply grunted and took the bag, but then very quietly said, "...Thanks."

I smiled to myself, then to Sakura, who looked at me and quickly turned away to hide her presumably flushed cheeks. It was hard to tell given how dark it was, but from what I knew about her, her heart was probably on the verge of exploding.

After a few more minutes of walking, Sakura jogged up ahead and pushed a wad of tall grass out of the way, revealing the entrance to a small cave.

"We're here," she said, gesturing for us to enter. "We'll have to crawl through, but we can stand once we're inside. Since the entrance is so small, it's a great place for laying low."

"It's not ideal if we get caught, though," Sasuke said critically, and Sakura's shoulder immediately slumped.

"I...didn't think of that," she said, sounding defeated, then flashed a shaky smile. "But it's better than nothing, right?"

"Hn."

I huffed and wrung out Satoko's muffler before approaching the entrance. "It's much better than sleeping outside. Thank you, Sakura-chan. How did you find this place?"

"Oh, it's nothing!" she said modestly, but looked rather proud despite her tone of voice. "Every genin is expected to know the general geography around Konoha, including natural shelters and safe houses."

"I can't imagine having to memorize all that. That's very impressive," I said, smiling at her before crawling into the cave.

It really was spacious on the inside, and I had plenty of room to stand. There were a few streams of moonlight shining through cracks at the top of the cave, which made it just light enough to see each other's faces. Water had dripped through the cracks, so parts of the ground was damp, but at least the areas by the walls were still dry.

"It's a little cramped," I said, spreading my arms out. I wasn't particularly tall, but even so, my fingertips brushed each end of the cave.

"We're going to take turns standing guard, so it really only needs enough space for two people at a time," Sakura said. "There aren't really any other options, though. Sorry."

"Ah- my apologies, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just not used to this sort of thing," I said, lowering my arms. "Speaking of which, how will we bathe?"

"There's no stream around, so we'll use wet cloths to clean ourselves," Sasuke said as he opened his bag. "We need to change into dry clothes, t-"

He paused, eyes fixated on the contents of his bag. I tilted my head curiously as he sighed, brow furrowed in irritation, then cursed quietly under his breath. Sakura seemed to remember something as well and perked up.

"Ah, that's Satoko's bag," she said, only then recalling the explosion of glitter that helped us escape. "...I guess we kinda owe her one, huh. Even if her ideas _are_ stupid."

Sasuke didn't answer and instead dug through Satoko's bag, presumably looking for the clothes.

"What else is in there, anyway?" I asked curiously. If that was one of Satoko's homemade weapons, surely she must have other interesting things.

"More of that homemade weapon, cooking wine, and…" Sasuke held up a spherical pouch covered in stains of white powder and made a face. "...Flour."

With nothing else to say, he put the pouch back and pulled out a dry set of clothes. "Here."

"Thanks," I said, taking what appeared to be a plain, long-sleeved shirt and pants, as well as a dry cloth. They looked a bit small, but they would have to do. Anything was better than staying wet and shivering.

"What about you, Sasuke-kun? I have extra clothes, too, if you-"

"Satoko packed extra," he interrupted, quickly pulling out another shirt and pants.

"Oh, right, of course she did!" Sakura laughed, sounding rather forceful about it. I couldn't help but wonder what that girl was thinking behind every smile. "A-Anyway, make sure you set your clothes somewhere dry, Takara-san."

Shortly after she said that, the two genin got down to business and started stripping. Right there. In the same room. Together. I found myself at a loss of what to do until Sakura started tugging off her sports bra.

"W-W-Wait!" I stammered, immediately rushing over and grabbing her wrists. "H-Hold on! What in the world are you doing in front of Sasuke-san?!"

Confused and startled, Sakura looked at me with wide, green eyes. "Huh? I'm just changing! Is there something wrong?"

"Y-Yes! Sasuke-san is right there!" I proclaimed, gesturing at him. Did this girl have no shame? And to think, she was about to present her upper body completely nude to a _boy_!

"Hn. Figures that only a civilian like you would worry about something like that. Shinobi don't have time to think about who sees what. We're too busy trying to survive," Sasuke said, casually wringing out his shirt. I quickly looked away when I realized that he was completely topless. "Does it look like this cave comes with segregated change rooms? It's too dark to see much, anyway."

"E-Even so, this is not how I was raised! I would greatly appreciate it if you at least turned away while I changed, Sasuke-san!" I stammered, feeling my cheeks and ears becoming warmer by the second. "Please make sure he remains facing the other way until I'm done changing, Sakura-chan."

"Sasuke-kun isn't like that!" she retorted. "How about we set up traps outside while you change? That way you can change in private. That works, right, Sasuke-kun?"

He scowled and seemed to briefly consider putting his wet shirt back on before tossing it aside. "Yeah. We should scout the perimeters, too. Just don't take too long - we still need to go over what we know."

"Okay, then it's settled! We'll be back soon, Takara-san," Sakura said, then shamelessly clung to Sasuke as she pulled him to cave entrance. "Let's go, Sasuke-kun!"

I sighed and waited until I couldn't hear their footsteps anymore before I even thought about taking even my shoes off.

Now calmer than before, I carefully peeled my wet clothes off and wiped myself down before changing into Satoko's dry clothes. The shirt was a little tight and the pants were a bit short, but at least it was breathable. I had never seen a shirt made from such material - it was very different from the clothes I normally wore.

 _Shinobi and civilians are different in many more ways than I thought._

Soon after, the genin returned and got changed as well, during which I made a point to look away from Sasuke. Once everybody was clean - or at least, cleaner than before - and most importantly, dry, we sat on the dry areas by the cave walls to discuss the situation.

"Do you know who might be behind this?" Sakura asked, starting us off.

"Those were assassins, so we already know that there's more to this than we thought. Hiding anything from us would only put us all at a greater risk," Sasuke informed, though it sounded much like a warning.

"To be honest, I originally suspected my uncle, but now he's..." I murmured, resting my hands in my lap.

"Your uncle?" Sasuke repeated, seeking clarification.

I nodded once and started gripping tightly at the hem of my shirt. Up until then, I hadn't been able to really reflect on what happened with a sober mind, and when I did, that wave of stress and anxiety I had been anticipating finally crashed down on me.

Everything felt distant, like I was trapped in my own bubble of sorrow. I squeezed my hands together and looked down, and before I knew it, my tears started to well up. My vision blurred and my breath hitched, and every time I exhaled, my body trembled despite the fact that I was no longer cold.

I was thankful towards the genin, who simply sat and waiting patiently until I had calmed down. Only when my breathing had evened out once again did Sakura ask, "By any chance, was your uncle…?"

I nodded and took a deep breath to ensure that I had calmed down before speaking. "Uncle Kanjaku, yes."

"What made you suspect him?" Sasuke asked.

"My mother passed away a month ago and, because she was a rather influential person in the capital, left me a rather large inheritance, whose details only Uncle Kanjaku and I should have known about. That's also the reason I was to be smuggled to the capital rather than transported through more official channels."

"Kanjaku-san must have been worried that others might have caught wind of the inheritance and come after you," Sakura remarked, and I nodded.

"But, because of that inheritance, and because he was the one who had given us the tea, I automatically assumed that he was the one who did this." I clenched my shirt again and grit my teeth. "I'm such a fool. I doubted my own family, and now he's…!"

Sakura placed her hand on my shoulder gently. "What happened isn't your fault. Given what you knew, it only made sense to come to that conclusion. If he wasn't the one who hired those assassins, we just need to find out who did."

"No, we can't rule him out yet," Sasuke said.

"What do you mean? How can he still be a suspect when he's- why would the assassins kill the person who hired them?!" I demanded, feeling my heart starting to beat faster as my anger rose. "My uncle was a good man! He had always been part of Hanjou-san's group, and they would all take care of me during my times in Konoha. He insisted himself that he would personally bring me to the capital to ensure my safety!"

"Sa...Sasuke-kun, don't you think pushing this is going too far, even for you?" Sakura cautioned.

Even so, he didn't let up, and I grit my teeth and resisted the urge to shake him by his collar.

"Just think about it for a minute. He had motive and opportunity, and you said that he's the one who insisted on personally bringing you here. Plus, think about what kind of injury he sustained."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I sneered. "My uncle is _dead_ and yet you still-!"

"Ah!" Sakura gasped, cutting me off. "N...No, Sasuke-kun is right. This is suspicious."

I shot her a dejected look and my shoulders sagged. "Sakura-chan…"

"Kanjaku-san supposedly received a fatal blow to the head, but any shinobi knows that although head wounds bleed a lot, they aren't necessarily that serious. It's...possible that he faked his death in order to separate from the group and return to the capital, first."

"N...No, this is merely conjecture-!"

"I overheard Satoko talking to him before the attack," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "She was questioning him about why he was so fixated on the trees, and he said that merchants use landmarks to designate meeting points between villages."

"He could have used landmarks to tell the assassins how to find us, or followed signs left by assassins in order to guide us straight into their ambush," Sakura concluded, her voice now lower and serious. "That might be why he insisted on transporting you personally. Nobody would find that odd at all because he's your uncle."

"But...why would he fake his death in the first place? That would just make him even more suspicious!"

"Assuming we were still alive after the battle to realize he faked his death," Sasuke said. "It wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that five assassins could kill a civilian and a few genin."

I found myself at a loss of words, not because I was offended, but because everything they were saying made sense when I put it all together. I leaned back, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of cold rock against my back, and exhaled slowly.

"Even if this is all true, why would he do such a thing…?" I whispered, mostly to myself. "He wasn't perfect, but he always took care of me when my mother could not. I never would have imagined that he would betray me over money."

"People kill for all sorts of reasons," Sasuke murmured, his voice sounding cold and distant despite the fact that he was sitting right next to me. "You said your mother was influential. Exactly how much power did she have?"

"She owned quite a bit of property and used her wealth and power to fund a program that provided jobs for shinobi who can no longer fight for whatever reason. They also accepted reformed criminals, like petty thieves and the like. She gave them a new life and for many, a reason to live. I was studying in Konoha to become an official so I could help her with the program."

"It sounds like your mother was a kind person," Sakura said, and I immediately scoffed, surprising her. "Did I say something wrong?"

"My mother was hardly the sort. She barely acknowledged my accomplishments. It always felt like succeeding was the only possible option for me, as though it was naturally expected and thus not worth being praised for." I leaned my head back and looked up at the cracks in the cave as memories of my late mother returned to me. "I still remember the time I told her I had been accepted for an apprenticeship at the embassy so vividly. She was going over her own paperwork and didn't even look up at me or crack even the faintest of smiles. Instead, she continued to sign those papers and asked me if I would expect praise for a successful bowel movement."

I couldn't help but laugh a little as I recalled her words, and the hour after that I had spent crying.

"She always equated my success to such primitive actions. She was strict and relentless and pushed to get her way, and I would be lying if I said she was comforting… but even so," I sighed, and couldn't help but smile to myself, "I admired her. I wanted nothing more than to make her proud, and I know that she must have been, otherwise she wouldn't have even acknowledged my existence. It was precisely because I was doing well that she remained unfazed. It was a bit hurtful, yes, but I knew that if she responded in such a way, it meant that I was living up to her expectations."

"She was the sort of person to get the job done," Sasuke said, and I nodded.

"Exactly. I suppose such mental fortitude is necessary to survive in the upper ranks of the capital. Those who didn't know her labelled her as an ice queen, but if only they knew that she was the one who founded and maintained the relocation system for retired shinobi."

"Then, it's not entirely wrong to say that your mother was kind," Sakura smiled.

"And that the inheritance she left for you is definitely big enough to kill for," Sasuke remarked.

I flinched, but nodded. After reminiscing about my mother, I had forgotten why I was even talking about her in the first place.

"I suppose so, yes, but for my uncle to do such a thing to me…" I lowered my gaze and ran my hands through my hair, tugging my fingers through the knots and tangles.

When I weighed all the years I'd known him against the events of the past several hours, it sounded nothing like the Uncle Kanjaku that I knew, but when I thought about how it was a possibility… suddenly, I felt enraged.

 _There's no way this could be true...could it?_

"Let's get some rest for now," Sakura suggested softly, getting up from her spot. "Sasuke-kun, I can stand watch, first. You must be tired after carrying Takara-san all the way here."

"I'm fine," he said, standing up as well. "I'll take first watch. I'll wake you up in a few hours."

Sakura looked like she was about to say something, but the dark-haired genin was already exiting the cave. Defeated, she sighed and instead turned to me with a gentle smile.

"Let's get some sleep, then, and try not to overthink things right now - we'll find out the truth tomorrow," Sakura said reassuringly. "Kakashi-sensei told us to regroup at the capital. I'm sure he knows more about what's going on, so we'll ask him then."

I nodded and mustered up enough energy to give her a smile. Then, after getting as comfortable as I could on the thin cloth Sakura had spread out for us to sleep on, I fell asleep with doubt weighing down on me and exhaustion seeping through my veins.

* * *

 **Author's note** : Don't you just hate it when your uncle tries to kill you because he's a deceitful filthy capitalist sinner?

Also all the chapters in "The Mediocre Escape" were written at the same time, I'm just uploading them at intervals. Please don't think I'm churning out 10k word chapters in like two days LOL


	13. The Mediocre Escape 2

**Summary** : Damn Satoko, back at it again with your existential crisis and powers of deduction.

* * *

There was a brief moment of silence as Kakashi and I faced the reality of the situation. Namely, that the client we were supposed to protect was currently being guarded by two drugged genin. It...wasn't the best turn of events, to say the least.

"Let's go back to the camp for now," Kakashi finally said, hoisting the corpse of the assassin that attacked me over his shoulder. "Our new goal is to regroup before reaching the capital."

 _Well, at least he isn't blaming me for this._ I bit my lip doubtfully. _...I hope._

Just then, I felt a drop of water fall on my head. We both looked up at the cloudy skies just in time to greet the rain with our faces.

 _Wow. Neither of us even asked if things could get worse._ I made a face at the sky. _Not sure that I'm a fan of this preemptive pathetic fallacy._

"We'd better hurry before the rain washes everything away," Kakashi sighed and immediately turned to leave.

"Do you think everybody else got away alright?" I asked, careful not to put too much weight on my injured leg as I followed suit. The pain had lessened to a dull throbbing, but it still stung if I flexed the muscle too hard.

"Despite their condition, my genjutsu and your clones should've given them pretty good odds of escaping." He paused and looked at the bandages on my leg. "Hmm… Let me dispose of this, first, then I'll carry you back to the campsite. We can't waste any time and you have a hard enough time keeping up with me as it is."

I opened my mouth in preparation for a comeback, but decided that it wasn't worth the effort and nodded instead. He disappeared into the forest and reappeared after a few minutes to pull me onto his back. We arrived at the campsite in what felt like seconds.

After all the chaos and close calls, the calm felt almost suffocating. It left too much time to think and really absorb what just happened, especially considering that the caravan knew this was a possibility, which not only means that they blatantly lied when making their mission request, but also that they weren't just merchants.

 _Probably smugglers of some sort. Makes me wonder who Takara really is if somebody put a hit on her._

"Look for anything that can be salvaged," Kakashi said. "I'll try to figure out where they all went."

I nodded and started with the center of the campsite.

The fire pit was destroyed. Burnt logs and ashes had been kicked aside, leaving black scars in the grass and dirt, which was quickly turning into mud. Jars and miscellaneous wares were scattered about - some dirty but intact, most shattered or cracked. I took each step with caution, not wanting to cut myself on any potential broken shards that were invisible in the night. The clouded moonlight wasn't helping much, and I got the impression that we weren't going to light another fire anytime soon.

After doing a round, I realized that something felt off. Kind of like something was missing, maybe, but I couldn't say what exactly.

I pushed the feeling aside and instead tiptoed around the sleeping area in search for our bags. We had left in such a hurry that we didn't have time to grab them on the way out, and there were a few things I'd packed that might come in handy now that the mission had taken a turn for the worse. When I eventually found one hidden against one of the sitting logs, I soon discovered that it was packed with basic essentials - extra weapons, a change of clothes, soldier pills, and an opened pack of beef jerky.

"It's Sasuke's," I said to myself. "...Where's mine?"

Somebody else must've taken it, because the only other bag I could find was Kakashi's. After setting the two bags by the campfire, I started searching the other side of the clearing. The sound of rain hitting something metallic caught my attention, and I found my weapons scattered across the ground.

"Aw, man, they're all muddy," I sighed, wiping them against my pants one by one before putting them away again. I wasn't really fond of having dirty clothes, but they were already pretty gross, so there wasn't much room for them to get any worse, anyway. Besides, I didn't want Kakashi judging me for using a leaf or something.

It was too dark to see them clearly, so I dragged my feet across the grass in search of more of my weapons and ended up nearly tripping on the corpse of the first assassin that attacked me.

"Augh, shit," I shuddered, suddenly feeling the urge to wash my sandals and feet.

It hadn't really struck me until then, but there was a _dead body_ right in front of me - a body that could've easily been me if it weren't for Kakashi. Now that I had time to think about it, I realized that I almost died like, _three times_ within the past several minutes _._ And Kakashi saved my ass every time.

 _Good to know he's not just strong because of plot armour._

Not that I ever really doubted him, but the reassurance was nice.

My focus went back to the body.

I stared at it quietly for a moment and unwillingly imagined myself in its place. Cold, unmoving, breathless - I vaguely registered that my heart rate was increasing, and I started to vividly recall each and every single time a clone was killed.

The morbidity of it all never really had time to sink in until now.

"Oh my god," I whispered, voice choking before I could even try to hold it back.

My throat tightened and I bit my lip.

 _I almost died._

Slowly, my legs weakened and I sat myself down without much of a sound, not caring about the mud that was surely staining my clothes. I hugged my legs against my chest and rested my chin on my knees as I was forced to finally accept my new reality.

It didn't matter if I originally knew it as a fictional world of ninja magic with neglected characters and a thematically inconsistent plot. What mattered is that they were real _now_ , from the desire to protect my teammates to the pain that came with getting stabbed in the leg, to the fear of dying at a moment's notice. It was the world that I now lived in - the one that I had to _survive_ in.

I suddenly became painfully aware of my mortality. My very fragile, soon-to-be-if-not-already-frequently-endangered mortality.

It was terrifying.

I must've made some sort of pathetic, wimpy sound, because the next thing I knew, Kakashi was standing next to me in all his judgemental glory.

"That doesn't look like the courage of the future Hokage," Kakashi chided softly, though he didn't sound very into it.

"It's the courage of a newbie twelve-year-old genin who only knows like, three jutsu," I mumbled into my knees, which were starting to get rather gross and wet from things other than the mud and rain.

Kakashi seemed to take a moment to plan out his response. I continued to try and stop my shoulders from shaking too hard as I took deep breaths to even out my breathing again.

"Well, you're at least putting two of them to good use," he finally said, patting my head. He couched down to my eye level and even in the dark with only one eye showing, I could tell he was smiling. "You did well."

It's amazing how just three words could make all the difference.

"It's been a long day," he said, standing up again. "Let's find a place to rest for the night. We'll be at the capital by tomorrow afternoon if we leave at dawn."

"What about him?" I sniffed, wiping my eyes with one hand and pointing to the dead assassin who started my whole existential crisis.

"I can deal with him myself," Kakashi said.

"And the other two? Are we still gonna regroup?"

The jounin shook his head. "The enemy covered most of their tracks and the rain took care of the rest. My ninken wouldn't be able to trace their scent, either, but that means the enemy will have a harder time tracking Sasuke, Sakura, and the caravan. We'll have to hope for the best."

I'd be lying if I said that a good part of my being disheartened by the news wasn't from the implication that he wouldn't be summoning his ninken anytime soon.

 _I could go for some puppy cuddling right about now._

"I hope there's a river nearby," I said as I stood up, shaking as much mud off my sandals as I could.

"There is," Kakashi said, giving me a look that said that was something I should've known. I was getting really good at identifying that look. "We'll leave after I dispose of this body."

I swallowed and nodded before promptly looking away, silently thanking him that he wasn't insisting that I helped. I guess I'd made it obvious enough that I'd faced and accepted enough morbid realities for one night. It was a rare sort of leniency he was willing to give, so I gladly accepted the chance to mind my own business.

As I watched Kakashi dragging the body away, I suddenly realized what was missing.

"Hey, Sensei," I whispered, eyes slowly trailing from him to the lone corpse. "Where's Kanjaku?"

With two bags in tow, neither of them mine, Kakashi and I discussed what we knew about the situation while we headed towards the stream. The moon was just starting to peek above the canopy, but it was enough to light up the way.

"So, it's pretty clear that Kanjaku is the one behind all this, what with the whole faking his death thing and all," I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "Not to mention, he tried to drug us."

"Which means he's probably involved in some kind of drug trade," Kakashi added.

Only Sasuke and Sakura actually ingested any, though, since I poured mine out and Kakashi didn't drink any tea to begin with. I wonder if he was berating himself for not checking things thoroughly, but to be fair, nobody would suspect the friendly merchant on the team's first C-Rank mission. Knowing him, though, that probably wouldn't stop him from hating himself more than he already does.

I pushed the thought aside and instead asked, "What kind of drug is he trading, anyway?"

"Well, how did you feel after you ingested it?"

"Calm, mostly. Like, being taken hostage by the bandit didn't actually scare me much. I was a little disoriented at first, though - it took me a while to realize what was going on. It was really bitter, too." I crossed my arms and furrowed my brow as I tried to remember more details. "Oh! I think there was also some euphoria when you summoned your ninken."

"Maa… It's hard to say whether that was due to the drug or if it was just you," Kakashi said meekly.

I was about to object, but then recalled the first time our team got a dog-walking mission and conceded with a nod. "That's true."

"Anyway," Kakashi sighed, leaning his head back, "it sounds like an opiate. Opium, most likely, since that's the most common one in circulation."

"Hm… If Sadame-san gave me the drug, does that mean she's involved in this, too?"

"You said Kanjaku offered you some spices after the attack, and that he didn't seem to know Sadame-san already gave you some," he said thoughtfully, "which either means that she depleted their inventory without consulting him, or simply didn't notice that she took the wrong jar. Since every ounce counts in the drug trade, it was most likely the latter."

Which meant that the rest of the caravan members had no idea Kanjaku had been using their wagon to smuggle drugs into the capital. There must be a lot of trust for them not to have noticed such a thing, which only made it that much more terrible and aggravating that he was using and betraying them.

"Okay, so Kanjaku is selling opium in the capital. I guess we should bring that up to whoever's in charge at the capital. Like, the Daimyou, or something?"

"Maybe not to Daimyou-sama directly, but someone with a high level of authority, yes."

"That doesn't really explain why he'd wanna kill Takara-san, though, or why he'd risk using the caravan if they aren't involved," I said, recieving a nod of confirmation from Kakashi. "Unless...they are? Like, do you think maybe he bought them over already?

"It's unlikely they are. If Kanjaku felt the need to send five assassins after Takara-san, she's either someone very important, or killing her means he gets something substantially beneficial. Both mean Konoha wouldn't trust mercenaries to transport her. It's safe to assume that Hanjou-san and the others are loyal to Konoha."

 _So I guess I'm supposed to know that sometimes mercenaries do people-smuggling, huh. Konoha sure does have a lot of background shit going on._

"That's reassuring," I sighed, thankful that we didn't have to add three more people to our list of potential enemies. Four, if you counted their pet four-legged monster. Three, again, if you considered the fact that it was already on the list to begin with.

Anyway.

"Why would Kanjaku want to kill Takara-san, anyway? She looks like an ordinary girl to me."

"Like I said, she must be important. The capital is very political, after all."

Just then, I remembered Takara's reaction when Kanjaku appeared to be dead, and before I fully registered the conclusion drawn from my train of thought, I blurted, "Maybe for inheritance?"

Kakashi tilted his head towards me curiously, silently prompting me to elaborate.

"When Kanjaku faked his death, it sounded like Takara-san was calling him her uncle. What if Kanjaku's after an inheritance, or something?"

There was a sparkle in Kakashi's eye that told me he had also remembered something important. "That's probably it. Good work, Satoko."

I grinned, but my moment of pride only lasted a second. "What makes you so sure, though?"

"I heard news about an official who died about a month ago. Apparently she was rather influential, since she founded and lead some sort of employment program in the capital," Kakashi murmured, holding his chin in thought. "Considering the time it takes to locate the next of kin and process mission requests, Takara-san might very well be that official's daughter."

I was about to ask him how he was sure about that timeline, then realized that it probably wasn't the first time he'd had to deal with things like the next of kin of some dead politician and processing missions.

"How can you be so sure that she's the officials daughter?" I asked instead.

"Officials don't die that often, especially when they're only in their forties. Even less often does a young girl being smuggled to the capital shortly after the death of the official get attacked by assassins. It's called putting two and two together, Satoko," he said with a patronizing smile.

I stuck my tongue out at him like the mature twelve-year-old I now was and huffed.

 _Gonna punch him in his stupid mole face one day I swear to god. Yeah, that's right! I know what you look like, bitch!_

Kakashi ignored my mockery and continued. "That being said, Takara must have a large inheritance waiting for her. Such an inheritance would be more than enough to motivate Kanjaku to kill her for it."

Another thought occurred to me just then.

"If Kanjaku's willing to go so far over an inheritance, do you think maybe he had something to do with her mother's death?" I asked, trying desperately to wrap my head around this. "There's just something about all this that bothers me… Like, why is he so sure that he'll get something out of the inheritance after killing Takara-san?"

"If Kanjaku is her mother's brother, normally one would assume that he was included in the will. However, if he wasn't included or simply wants more than he got, he could kill anybody else who inherited something. That way, any property would be passed onto him due to being a blood relative. If it's not that, then it's likely that he has a partner with enough power in the capital to ensure that he'll gain control over the inheritance even after it's been returned to the state."

"Either way, he's basically guaranteed money or property, or both, which anybody smuggling large amounts of drugs would probably want," I said, clicking my tongue. Just thinking about the guy was getting me pissed. "For some reason I'm willing to bet Kanjaku isn't the only one who would benefit from Takara-san's death, either, unless he single-handedly makes up the entire drug cartel."

Kakashi nodded and sighed. "We should work under the assumption that the city itself isn't safe. It's likely full of Kanjaku's accomplices."

"Hmm…" I brushed my hand through my hair and groaned. "This is giving me such a headache! Is it even possible to pull off an assassination in the middle of the capital? Especially if Takara's mom is supposed to be some bigshot. If he did, he must have had some help, right? Maybe he really does have someone helping him from the inside."

Judging from the way he lowered his head, I got the feeling Kakashi was starting to contemplate this possibility.

"Even if his injury wasn't serious, Kanjaku's head still would have bled a lot. Since all the assassins started chasing after us when we split up, somebody would have had to come get Kanjaku before he bled out."

"So then… There's really some other bigshot involved in this?" I asked, seeking clarification.

"Which means the palace probably isn't safe, either," he sighed, scratching his head. "Maa… we might not be able to report this to any officials. We don't know who's involved in the cartel and who isn't, after all."

I groaned and stuffed my hands in my pockets again, then thrashed around in frustration. "Agh, this is getting too confusing! Just what the hell is going on here?!"

Kakashi laughed tiredly and patted my head. "Politics."

The rain had lightened up to a drizzle by the time we reached the stream. Our clothes were soaked through from before, which meant having to find something to change into. Kakashi had his own stuff, but since the only other bag I could find was Sasuke's… Well, at least we were about the same size.

I made sure Sasuke's spare clothes were dry enough to wear before I started washing up, first by taking a seat on one of the the rocks littered by the edge of the stream and dipping my feet into the water to rinse off any loose mud. I shuddered at the temperature and swished them around as I tried to get used to it.

"I'm not gonna get hypothermia if I bathe in this, will I?" I asked Kakashi, who was stripping down to his sleeveless mask-shirt hybrid and rolling up his pants.

"Didn't the Academy teach you how to warm yourself up with chakra?" he asked with the disapproving look I'd become incredibly familiar with.

"...No," I said carefully, pulling my feet out of the water. "Not that I remember, anyway."

Which was true. If Protagonist really had learned Useful Ninja Basics #3, they still hadn't come back to me. At least it made it incredibly easy for me to play through with the idiot role.

He sighed and put on an air that told me I was about to get a crash course on whatever that technique was. I suppose it was a good thing that he took it upon himself to actually teach me something useful. Either he figured this was important enough, or it might just be that my calling him out actually stuck with him.

 _Well, I can dream, can't I?_

"It's similar to how you manipulate your chakra to climb trees. Chakra circulates just like blood, except unlike blood, you can manipulate your chakra internally. If you manipulate it so your chakra circulates more quickly, you can use it to warm up, or even dry off faster."

I gave him a dubious look. "That...kinda sounds like I could make myself explode."

Especially since everything I knew about circulating chakra came from Protagonist practising the Rasengan and bursting all those balloons and rubber balls. Can't say that's something I'd want to inflict on myself.

"You're not creating outwards pressure; you're just increasing its speed a little," Kakashi said. "Just like how an increased heart rate doesn't make you explode, either."

"Oh."

"Besides, chakra doesn't work like that. Otherwise, Sasuke would explode the second he tried to use a fire jutsu."

"...Oh _._ " That wouldn't be a very effective system if every shinobi was a potential suicide bomb. Which suddenly reminded me that Deidara's probably still a thing.

 _No. I can worry about that later. Like, two years later, at least._

"So how do I do it?" I asked, taking my mind off the subject.

"Focus on your chakra, except instead of focusing it at your feet, circulate it throughout your entire body. It should come more naturally since your chakra would be following its natural paths," he explained before tossing me two washcloths. "Wipe yourself down with those. Make sure you dry yourself properly if you haven't figured it out."

I snatched them out of the air before they flew into the stream. "...'Kay."

 _That...That makes a lot more sense than bathing my entire naked body in the cold river. I'm not sure why I didn't think that there was something extra to ninjas bathing in the dead of night._

I soaked the washcloth and wiped down my arms and legs, shuddering every time I came into contact with the cloth. I tried the chakra warming thing Kakashi explained and used the tiger hand seal to help focus my chakra, though whether or not it was working or if I was just going numb from the cold, I couldn't quite tell. It was still better than sleeping with mud all over me, though, and I had Sasuke's spare change with me, anyway, which made me wonder if that meant he had mine.

 _Too bad all I packed was a boring long-sleeve and pants._

I'd kill to see him wearing Protagonist's trademark orange, and while I _have_ briefly contemplated the idea of simply transforming into him and various other people just to see how they'd look dressed in certain ways or making certain expressions, that was a personal boundary that I hoped to god no ninja actually crossed.

 _There's a lot of trust that goes into letting someone transform into you, I think._

Pushing that aside, I spared a glance at Kakashi to see what he was up to, and maybe catch a glimpse of what he looked like without his mask. It was dark and I could pretty much only make out his silhouette, so what caught my intention instead was the amount of clothes he had folded next to him.

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, won't you get heatstroke wearing all those layers?" I said, pointing to the flak jacket and long-sleeve shirt neatly folded and put aside. That made three layers, one of them being skin-tight, if I included the sleeveless shirt he was still wearing. "I mean, normally. When it's daytime and not raining."

"Standard-issue clothes are more breathable than you think. Maybe you'd know that if you and your teammates tried them out sometime," he said with a one-eyed smile.

I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from gaping.

 _This rude-ass bitch._

And for the record, the only thing that wasn't standard-issue about my outfit was the jacket.

"Not cool, Sensei," I muttered and silently went back to digging the mud out from between my toes.

When it came to wiping my torso, I spared a glance at Kakashi to see what he was doing. Common sense told me that, as far as ninjas were concerned, they wouldn't give two shits about stripping around each other in order to get clean, as long as there were weapons within reach. Still, I'd already made, or almost made, a lot of mistakes due to my social ignorance, so it was probably best to try and actively avoid making any more.

He seemed to just be wiping down as much as he could without actually taking his mask-shirt off, so I did the same by lifting and tucking my shirt under my chin so I could clean my stomach and back.

What caught me off guard, however, was when he very casually slipped his arms out from the shirt and lifted the binder he was wearing underneath so he could get to his chest.

 _...Oh._

I glanced away quickly, catching only a glimpse of the change in his silhouette before going back to minding my own business.

 _I wonder if this world uses "transgender" the same way mine does?_

No doubt it would be weird to ask that, though, especially if he didn't want to say anything about it. Maybe I wasn't even supposed to say anything about it, considering how Kiba thought it was weird how I was reacting to the idea of being infatuated by Sakura. I sighed deeply and tried not to think too hard about it.

 _How the hell am I supposed to figure these things out without looking like an ass?_

I decided to keep my questions to myself and pulled off my jacket and shirt to clean my torso. I was starting to get the hang of the chakra circulation thing, so it wasn't as uncomfortable anymore.

Various instances of falling on the ground or desperately trying to escape left me with several cuts and bruises, but I could literally see them healing already. The only evidence of my hand ever being wounded was a faint, pale line that was still disappearing. Even the wound in my leg was practically closed. It was still a bit raw, though, so I kept it covered to avoid infection. Watching everything heal that fast was surreal, to say the least, though it explained the lack of scars on my new body.

 _I wonder how many I'd have without Kurama._

I stared at my feet, silently watching the ripples glistening under the moonlight as I absently wiped under my arms and behind my neck.

After all the time spent in this world, it was only at that moment that I thought to look up and really take in the sight before me. Maybe I was too stressed before to really notice it, or maybe Protagonist's memories were so used to it that I had to actively realize that something was different on my own. No matter what the reason, I was glad that I chose that moment to acknowledge this world's night sky.

It was breathtaking, to say the least.

Every inch of the sky was covered in stars, as though it were a victim of one of my glittery concoctions, and a dark scar lined with stars and dust cut across the entire sky in a giant arch, starting from one end of the horizon to the other. I had always dreamed of seeing the clear night sky without the light pollution of a bustling city. Never would I have ever imagined that when I finally did, it would be here and now.

I set the cloth by my side and leaned back on my hands, taking in the feel of the few droplets of rain that still fell and the water brushing over my feet.

I was cold and exhausted, but for the first time in a long while, I felt at ease.

* * *

 **After Credit Scene** : Satoko sits alone by the stream. Kakashi is about to tell her to go to sleep, but instead decides to let her be. It's important to her to savour this moment, he thinks. The world feels silent and unmoving. Everything is at peace.

 **Author's** **note** : This story is officially caught up with the AO3 uploads! Which means now everybody reading this on any site has to wait for several weeks between updates now :'D


	14. Hide and Seek, Life and Death!

**Summary** : Sakura does ninja things. Takara is thoroughly impressed.

* * *

My body felt stiff and cold when I woke up the next morning. Somebody was shaking my shoulder, and when I mustered up the strength to open my eyes, I saw Sakura looking down at me, face slightly matted with dirt and dust. Sasuke was leaning by the cave entrance behind her, hands tucked in his pockets with Satoko's bag at his feet. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, and only then did I register that I was the last to awaken.

"Goodness- I'm so sorry, let's leave right away!" I stammered, running my hands through my hair to straighten it out as much as I could.

"It's fine. You had a long night, so we figured we should let you rest a while longer," Sakura said with a smile.

"Oh, yes, of course." I straightened out my clothes and looked between the two genin. "Thank you, that's very considerate of you."

"The sun's almost up. We need to move," Sasuke said with a hint of urgency in his voice. "Pack the blanket and let's go."

I nodded once and fought through the tiredness that weighed down my eyelids long enough to get onto my feet. I reached for the blanket, but was gently shooed away by Sakura, who took over and had it folded and packed within seconds.

Once everything was cleaned up, Sasuke and Sakura erased evidence of us having been there and we left the cave.

The sky was glowing a light orange-yellow behind the trees and the grass was wet with morning dew. I took care not to step in any puddles when crawling out of the cave and brushed the strands of grass off my legs once I was back up.

"We can make it to the capital by noon, if we hurry," Sakura said, checking the sky. "Although… This area has had a lot of rain lately, so the stream we need to cross might be flooded. We might not be able to cross it."

The kunoichi fidgeted with her fingers as she glanced at her teammate.

"Is there another route we can take? Surely the stream doesn't extend across the _entire_ forest," I asked, hoping to provide some insight into the situation.

After a brief moment of thought, Sasuke clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"We can't risk being out in the forest too long. The assassins could still be looking for us," he said with a grimace. "We'll find a way to cross once we get there."

"Yeah! As long as we're with Sasuke-kun, we'll figure something out," Sakura smiled.

 _Of course. Because he's_ such _a hero,_ I thought bitterly.

There were no complaints or objections I could think of, however, so we started our trek through the dense forest. It was quiet and peaceful, with the sounds of chirping from insects and birds alike. For a moment, it was peaceful, until a low growl disturbed the silence.

"My apologies, I didn't meant to-" I started, hand instinctively resting on my stomach out of politeness. "...Sorry. I'm just not used to this."

Although he clicked his tongue in annoyance while doing so, Sasuke held out a small bottle and have it a gentle shake. "Take one of these," he said, then handed me a steel water bottle. "And drink this."

"Oh, um…" I trailed off, feeling uneasy as I took the items. "I was hoping for something with a little more sustenance."

"Sorry, that's all we have right now," Sakura said with a genuinely apologetic look. "Everything else got ruined during the attack or lost along the way. We'll get something once we arrive at the capital, though."

"I see," I murmured, looking down at the pills and water. "Well, thank you for sharing what you have."

I opened the pill bottle, struggling a bit with the lid. The pills were dark and spherical, and smelled of herbal medicine. I shook one out and sniffed it curiously, having never seen something like it before.

"It's a type of soldier pill. It's a little bitter, but it'll keep you going." Sakura explained.

"What does it do?" I asked, hesitant to ingest the foreign substance.

"Hmm… Think of it as a really potent vitamin. Standard soldier pills allow shinobi to fight for around three days and three nights without rest, but this one is a moderate variation that only supplements you with nutrients."

"Does it matter, really, which variation I take?"

Sakura nodded. "Standard pills have a different effect on bodies with undeveloped chakra pools. It'd strain your body a lot, kind of like a really intense adrenaline rush, but-"

"You could have a heart attack," Sasuke finished bluntly.

I blinked and swallowed. "I...never realized our chakra pools are so different," I laughed softly before putting the pill in my mouth. It certainly was bitter, and I cringed a bit at the sharp flavour, but quickly got used to it and swallowed.

I always knew shinobi were different and capable of amazing things, but the more I learned about the way they operated, and how these differences were present even at the biological level, the less it felt like we were even the same species.

I washed away the bitter aftertaste of the pill with a gulp of water.

Despite the hunger, my energy returned just like they said it would. I at least felt more comfortable walking along with Sakura and Sasuke without aid. They were so much smaller and seemed so fragile, but as Sakura walked in front of me, I saw the back of her dress creased around developing muscle.

I couldn't say that I trusted them with my life at first, but they had already saved it once. I could trust them to do it again.

When we finally reached the stream, the sun was almost out from behind the canopy. We heard the stream before we saw it, and from the way the genin's expressions changed when we did, I braced myself for bad news.

"Damn it," Sasuke hissed once the stream came into view.

"It's flooded after all. Normally we'd be able to walk across the rocks and the stream is wider than usual, too." Sakura sighed as she crouched by the stream to fill her water bottle.

Sasuke did the same as he spoke. "The current is relatively steady, so we can still get across once we find an area that's more shallow."

I could never tell if he was just making a suggestion or not. Everything he said always sounded like an order, which only made him that much more dislikeable.

"Good idea, Sasuke-kun! You always think of everything," the kunoichi exclaimed, eyes bright and practically shimmering.

I made a face to myself. It was a wonder how anybody could be so infatuated by that unpleasant child, let alone someone as seemingly high standard as Sakura.

We walked along the stream for what felt like several long minutes until eventually the genin stopped, both with similarly concerned expressions.

"We're wasting time. We need another solution," Sasuke murmured, eyeing the stream in deep thought. Finally, he faced the water and brought his hands together in a hand seal that was so common that even I had seen it used before.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

I had several questions about what he was trying to accomplish, as well.

Without answering, he place his foot on the water and steadily put weight onto it. The water rippled unnaturally around his foot and Sakura gasped, probably realizing what he was trying to do. I, on the other hand, was still very much confused and was starting to feel left out.

"What's going on?"

"Sasuke-kun, you're so cool!" Sakura squealed instead of answering my question. "If we can walk on water, we can get across in no time!"

I blinked. "Walk on water?" Now I just had even more questions.

"It's a basic shinobi technique," Sasuke answered, finally giving me some information on what was going on.

"We did chakra training with Kakashi-sensei to walk up trees, so we should be able to apply that technique here," Sakura elaborated. "Sasuke-kun is the number one rookie, so he'll get it in no time!"

"Is that so," I murmured to myself, giving the dark-haired genin a once-over.

It was hard to take Sakura's word for it when I wasn't sure if she liked him because he was the best rookie or if she thought he was the best because she liked him. Either way, he didn't look like anything special.

There was a faint splash and Sasuke clicked his tongue.

"Damn it," he muttered, shaking his foot off. "Sakura, you try. You were the first one to finish the chakra training."

 _Well that's unexpected,_ I thought, looking between the two curiously. _Sounds more like Sakura's number one here._

"T-That's true, but…" Sakura answered hesitantly, her smile uncertain. "I mean, if even you can't do it, then there's no way I can." She laughed, though I couldn't help but notice that it sounded forced and shaky, as though she were purposely holding herself back.

"You have to at least try," I insisted before Sasuke could say anything that would surely break the poor girl's spirits all over again. "I'm counting on you to get me to the capital safely."

The kunoichi went quiet, then nodded. "Yeah, okay." She took a deep breath and made the same hand seal Sasuke had made earlier, then took a step onto the water.

It rippled unnaturally the same way it did with Sasuke. Her body wavered and her foot sank into the water a little, but after a few moments, the water around her foot flattened into a smooth surface. It looked like ice in contrast to the currents around it.

"I...I think I got it!" Sakura exclaimed, slowly putting her full weight onto the water before stepping on with her other leg. Then, without warning, she punched the air and cheered. "CHA!"

I laughed at her burst of excitement and gave her a small round of applause, although she quickly went from excited to embarrassed.

"You're too loud," Sasuke muttered, brow furrowed with even more annoyance than usual. "Hurry up and take her across first," he said, nodding at me.

"I have a name," I huffed, but said nothing more of it. "If you don't mind, Sakura-chan."

"Not at all," she smiled, coming back to land so I could get on her back. "What about you, Sasuke-kun? How will you…?"

The genin fell silent as the one obvious answer lingered in the air. Sasuke's cheeks flushed and he looked away quickly. I had to bite my cheeks to stop from laughing.

 _He's actually pretty cute when he isn't busy being grumpy._

"Just...come back after you get her across," he muttered, clearly embarrassed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Y-Yeah," Sakura said with a nervous laugh. After a brief moment of preparation, she carefully placed her foot on the water again. She struggled a bit to find her balance now that I was weighing her down, but it wasn't long before the water became smooth and she was standing on the stream again. "Well...I'll be right back!"

Just as she took her first step, however, she paused and looked down at the water.

"What the…? Sasuke-kun, look at this!" she said, lifting her foot. I couldn't see clearly what she was referring to, but I could see enough to catch the glimmering particles caught on her sandals.

"Glitter," Sasuke murmured, sounding puzzled. "Shit, this probably means-!"

Before he could finish, however, there was a yell that came from behind, followed by the new sound of weapons flying at us which I had become rather accustomed to identifying. I didn't need to look back to know what was happening, and neither did Sakura, which is likely precisely why she stopped in her tracks.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Go!" Sasuke shouted, dropping Satoko's bag onto the ground. From the way his shoulders moved, it looked like he was doing something with his hands. Then, he exhaled, and an enormous ball of fire came with it.

"Oh my-" I gasped, but snapped out of it as the fire was already dissipating. "Sakura-chan, we need to go!"

"But what about S-"

"HEY LOOK A DISTRACTION!"

"- _atoko?!_ "

A blur of orange and blue cut across my field of vision and crashed into one assassin while the other barely jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a domino effect, followed by a darker blue that materialized into who I recognized as Hatake Kakashi. He attacked the second assassin, preventing her from taking a single step closer to Sasuke or us.

"Sakura, meet us at the capital," Kakashi ordered, hands occupied with defending himself from the assassin. He then turned to us - or more likely, to Sakura - and smiled through his mask. "I'm counting on you."

"Y...Yes!" Sakura answered shakily.

"And don't trust anybody but the cRAP-" Satoko yelled before being audibly interrupted.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Sakura demanded, but there was no time to get an explanation. Cursing under her breath, the kunoichi tightened her grip around my legs. "Keep your head down!"

I whimpered, but did as I was told and buried my face into her shoulder as she started running again. If there was anything that helped keep me from having a panic attack, it was that Sakura seemed like she worked _better_ under pressure than in normal circumstances.

The last thing I heard was someone yelling, followed by a loud explosion and a sudden wave of heat crashing into my back just as we reached the forest.

"What was-?!" I gasped, but didn't dare to look behind me.

"T-They'll be okay!" Sakura shouted over the remnants of the explosion, although it seemed more like she was trying harder to convince herself of this rather than me. I could feel her jaw clench and shift against my cheek as she swallowed hard and kept her eyes forward. "They have to be."

After what had to have been at least two hours of running, Sakura finally started to slow her pace down to a jog, then a walk. Her breaths were heavy and deep, but she didn't look particularly worn out. A shinobi's stamina never failed to astound me.

Slowly, I slid off her back and stumbled as I landed. My knees immediately buckled, but Sakura caught me with her arm around my waist and I naturally leaned into her for support.

"Sorry," I murmured, desperately trying to regain my balance. "I wasn't even the one running."

"I-It's okay, you must have been scared to death the entire time," she said with a smile I noticed was forced and tense.

I furrowed my brow in concern. "Sakura-chan, are you alright?" Carefully, I set my hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. "You must have been scared, too."

The kunoichi stammered, flailing her hands in front of her face in denial. "N-Not at all! It's just a lot of things to process at once, so I need some time to think about what to do next."

I nodded in agreement, recalling Satoko's final words to us, as incomplete as they were. "Do you think Satoko-san was serious?" I asked quietly.

Sakura looked to the side with uncertainty written all over her face. I interpreted this as an agreement.

"She's an idiot who likes to pull pranks on people, but even she wouldn't go so far as to make us doubt an entire city just for the fun of it." She frowned, crossing her arms in thought. "I wouldn't normally take her word for it, but she was with Kakashi-sensei last night. He must have discussed the mission with her. It's unlikely Satoko came to this conclusion herself."

I swallowed, not liking where this train of thought was going. "So then, does this mean…?"

Sakura sighed, shaking her head. "For now, let's act with caution and do as she said; trust no one. That includes the caravan, _and_ anybody who works at the palace. Actually, I think we can still trust the Daimyou, but we wouldn't be able to have an audience with him without going through at least a dozen other people, first." She sighed again, which only emphasized how troubling it was to have such heavy doubt after just a few simple words. "If your uncle really is the one behind all this, then there's no way of knowing whether or not Hanjou-san and the others are part of his plan, too. And until we figure out where their allegiance lies, we have to assume that they also knowingly guided you to the ambush site."

Unsure of what to say, I could only nod and follow her lead. After taking a deep breath, Sakura relaxed her shoulders and offered me a smile, albeit tense and noticeably forced.

"Don't worry! We'll get to the bottom of this once we regroup with Sasuke-kun and-" Just then, her face went white as she covered her mouth in shock. I was about to panic until the reason of her sudden dread became known. "Ahh! Sasuke-kun will definitely be pissed now!"

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "For what?"

"He couldn't walk across the stream, but I-"

"You saved my life," I interrupted, having enough of Sakura's ridiculousness because for goodness sake, she looked more horrified by the prospect of angering Sasuke than having to escape from assassins. " _You_ saved my life, Sakura-chan! And if he gets upset over something as admirable as that, then he's hardly anybody worth your attention!"

"Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that - you don't know him!" she snapped, much to my surprise. I would be lying if I said that her sudden irritation towards me didn't hurt, even if it was probably just misdirected frustration towards herself. "I just don't want him hating me, that's all! He's my teammate!"

It was nothing more than a poor excuse to me, but I didn't know what more to say except to focus on what was important. "Even so," I sighed, "you saved my life. At least let me be thankful for that."

 _Still, I think I know him enough to know that he's no good for you._

I gave her a sincere smile and was relieved to see that she could still return it.

"It's nothing! I just hope I brought you far away enough," she said, looking back over her shoulder as if to emphasize the point.

I instinctively looked back as well, but saw no signs of anybody approaching. Not that that really meant anything coming from an untrained civilian like me, though. What I noticed instead, however, was the dark stain that was running down Sakura's leg. "Oh my goodness- Sakura-chan, you're bleeding!"

Despite my alarm, Sakura calmly examined her legs and simply said, "Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me!"

"Y...You _forgot_?" I repeated rather stupidly. I couldn't tell if her reaction was normal for a shinobi or if she just had a high pain tolerance.

"I got hit when we were first attacked, but it wasn't like I could stop running, right?" she said as she sat down and started digging through her bag. She dampened a cloth and wiped her leg before wrapping it in bandages. "Don't worry, I've sustained worse during training, and even once or twice back at the academy. It's mostly numb now, so I didn't feel it much, but it's good that you reminded me. I don't want it getting infected, and the blood makes it easier to track us."

"Isn't that good? That way Kakashi-sensei and the others can find us more easily."

"Yes, but so can the enemy," Sakura said, then smiled confidently. "I wouldn't worry too much about that, though. Satoko's an idiot, but there's no way Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei would get beaten by two people."

I smiled wryly. "Surely Satoko-san isn't _that_ bad. She protected Sasuke-san, didn't she?" I liked to think the shinobi hired to protect my life weren't so unreliable.

"She was reckless," the kunoichi countered sharply, unknowingly against my wishes. She packed everything away and stood up again. "And Sasuke-kun didn't need her help, anyway!"

 _There's just no use helping this girl, is there,_ I thought distantly.

"Well, forget about them. I'm far more impressed by what you can do," I said, deciding it was better to change the subject. "You truly are an amazing shinobi, Sakura-chan, bringing me all the way to the capital by yourself."

"Not at all!" she laughed sheepishly. I couldn't tell if her cheeks were red from running or from embarrassment. I liked to think it was more because of the latter. "Although, I _did_ always score the highest on tests… But that's nothing compared to what Sasuke-kun can do!"

 _It's like she's constantly torn between pride and humility,_ I observed silently. _At least, when it comes to Sasuke-san._

My mother had taught me to read people and pay attention to the words they use, but one didn't need special training to know that whenever Sasuke was around or even simply a topic of conversation, Sakura's mannerisms changed completely.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and instead gave her an encouraging smile. "Well, you're the one who got me safely across the water, which means you're the best rookie as far as I know. I only have you to thank, Sakura-chan."

"It was nothing! Really!" Although she waved her hands dismissively, it was clear that she was flattered to some degree. "Anyway, the capital isn't too far from here, so we should arrive within the hour. Once we get there, though, please let me do the talking if the guards ask us any questions."

I nodded and followed her lead. Sure enough, the gate came into view before my feet even got sore. We approached the guard post and handed them our identification. There were two women on guard - one with short hair, the other with long. They both looked bored and disinterested in us.

"Name?" the short-haired woman asked, looking at me.

"Kakuchou Takara," I answered calmly. After travelling between Konoha and the capital at least a dozen times, this process had become natural for me.

The guard then looked to Sakura and asked, "Ninja registration number and rank?"

"012601, genin," she answered without a moment of thought.

"And your purpose of being here?"

"C-Rank escort mission."

"Where's the rest of your team?" the long-haired woman asked, although she didn't sound pushy when she asked. It sounded more like she was just asking for the records.

"We got attacked by bandits and got separated, but they're on their way," Sakura answered smoothly without a falter in her poker face - at least, none that I could see, and my mother had taught me rather well in reading people's expressions.

Both guards glanced at us before eyeing each other briefly, but finally let us through. I breathed a sigh of relief once were far away enough, then turned to Sakura.

"Where do we go?" I asked, once again on edge.

"Let's disguise ourselves, first," Sakura said, dragging me off into a nearby alleyway. "People might recognize you, and...admittedly, my hair isn't very subtle," she said with a sheepish laugh, tugging at the ends of her hair with one hand.

"For what it's worth, it's very beautiful," I offered with a genuine smile.

Her cheeks flushed a deep red as she answered with a quiet, "Th-Thank you," but then made herself recover enough to sputter out, "A-Anyway, I'll use a transformation technique! You should wear Satoko's shawl around your head and mouth so people don't see your face."

I nodded and did just that. It also helped that I was still wearing Satoko's clothing instead of my own, so even if I ran into somebody I knew, it was unlikely that they would recognize me right away. Besides, I had only been to the capital a handful of times and most of the people I met stayed around the palace and the surrounding area, so I wasn't too worried about meeting familiar faces, anyway.

Most of my fears lay in whether or not any other assassins were still out to get me.

Meanwhile, Sakura made a hand seal. There was a puff of smoke, and in her place stood a very typical-looking civilian boy carrying a backpack.

"That's amazing!" I gasped, as it was the first time I had ever witnessed such a technique. "Are all shinobi capable of such feats?"

Sakura nodded with a rather proud smile. "Yeah! But it's a really basic technique that we learn in the Academy. Here, take my hand. If anybody asks, my name is Kyoutaro and I'm taking you on a date."

This time, it was my cheeks that flushed. Apparently unaware, she continued.

"Ah! Maybe you should call me Kyou-kun, then," she laughed, then covered her mouth. "Oh, I can't talk much anyway, though, since I can't change my voice. Stay close so we don't have to talk very loud, okay?"

 _C-Calm down, Takara! It's just a disguise!_

Unable to find my voice, I simply tightened my grip on her hand and nodded.

With a reassuring smile, Sakura pulled me out of the alleyway, and for the several minutes we spent in search of a place to hide, she genuinely acted as though we were on a date!

We started by getting a snack at the nearest food stall, where we purchased a stick of dango for the each of us. I was then led to a pottery shop, which had caught my attention when I noticed that the man who owned the shop was missing his right arm.

"These are incredible!" I exclaimed, admiring the intricate flowers carved into a vase. "I can't imagine how hard you must have worked to create such masterpieces."

The man gave a hearty laugh in return. "Humans are capable of achieving great things so long as they put their mind to it." His voice was harsh and raspy, but full of warmth. I couldn't help but smile just from hearing it.

We stopped by several other places as we gradually made our way towards the outskirts of town. The first one was a clothing store, where we pretended to browse for a short while before moving on to the weapon shop across the street. Although I wasn't sure why anybody would visit one on a date, it was still interesting to see the tools that I had seen Sakura and the others use on display.

"I'm...still little hungry," I said hesitantly, unsure of whether or not it would put a burden on her, but if anything, perhaps it would help with our cover.

She gasped. "Oh, that's right! You didn't have a proper breakfast. That dango couldn't have been nearly enough," she said, already guiding me towards a bakery.

We ended up walking down a section of the street that was all stalls and restaurants - first at a bakery with various desserts, then a restaurant whose specialty seemed to be sukiyaki, and then a stall that sold sliced fruit. We didn't eat at the restaurant since we had no time to sit, so I assumed Sakura wanted to take a look for herself - maybe for future reference in case her team decided to eat before they left the city.

Finally, once we started walking around crop fields and farmhouses, Sakura seemed to find a suitable place for us to hide until her teammates arrived. After going from place to place, I had almost forgotten that we were running from the entire city and could only wish that, maybe after this was all over, I could show her around the capital without fear.

"In here," Sakura whispered, ushering me into what appeared to be an abandoned barn.

She undid her transformation once we were inside and gestured for me to stay behind her as she looked around, weapon in hand.

"Everything looks clear," she eventually said, shifting out of her defensive position and putting her weapon away. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's get comfortable - we might be here for a while."

I nodded and followed her deeper into the barn. We climbed up to the loft and hid as far back as we could behind bags of wheat and piles of straw. It certainly wasn't comfortable, but it was better than the cold, damp cave I had spent the night in. I felt like, after sleeping in such an environment under such circumstances, I could sleep anywhere.

"There's an opening behind us. If we need to escape, we'll go through there," Sakura said, pushing out the shutter just a little bit to show me where the exit was before pulling it back in. "I'm going to set up some traps by all the other entry points, just in case. Oh, and could you lend me Satoko's shawl?"

"Uh, sure." I pulled it off and handed it over, not bothering to ask what it was for. After all the trouble she'd been through already, it was the least I could do to help, even if I had no idea how I was helping.

"Thanks!" the kunoichi grinned, then disappeared with a parting, "I'll be right back."

I nodded and remained seated behind the makeshift barrier, trying my best to be as still as possible. The straw kept tickling my sides no matter how I positioned myself, however, and I couldn't endure the itchiness for very long. I ended up shifting and scratching every minute or so, much to my shame.

Fortunately, I didn't have to stay seated for very long. Unfortunately, it was because Sakura rushed back with an alarmed expression and grabbed my wrist to pull me out of the hay.

"Sorry for this, Takara-san, but we need to go _now_ ," she hissed.

"W-What's going on?" I stammered, scrambling onto my feet.

"This place isn't as abandoned as it looks, but we don't have time to find somewhere else to hide," Sakura answered, pushing the shutter open. "I saw some people approaching, so the second that door opens, you have to run. I'll buy time for you to escape."

"I-I couldn't possibly-!" I started, but the hardness behind her eyes stunned me into silence. I nodded, and her gaze softened into a reassuring smile before she jumped from the loft.

I slumped down into the straw, knees weak and body trembling, wondering how she could possibly expect me to escape without her if I couldn't even stand on my own. The only reason I even made it this far was because I had her shoulder to lean on - how could I possibly escape and knowingly leave her behind?

 _No, don't be such a coward!_ I thought, slapping myself on both cheeks. I could only imagine what my mother would think if I faltered in the face of the enemy while a shinobi younger than I was put her life on the line, repeatedly, for me.

 _Honour what others sacrifice for your sake, Takara. Your efforts are what give meaning to theirs._

I took a deep, shaky breath, then exhaled sharply, forcing myself to toughen up. Just as Sakura had said, I crawled over to the ledge and kept my body pressed against the loft so that I could see the door and escape as needed.

A long, quiet minute passed until the door finally creaked, light slowly filling the barn. I stayed only long enough to see Sakura pull out a kunai and position herself in front of the door before crawling towards the shutter.

Now sitting with my legs hanging over the ledge, all I had to do was slip through and climb down the pile of stacked hay below. With my escape just a step away, I risked the second to wait and see if Sakura would be okay.

There was a flurry of metallic clashes and a pained grunt, but it was the scream that knocked me off my balance and sent me falling out the shutter.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : If you're interested in sometimes seeing extra SATOKO stuff but mostly see me express my hatred towards horses and certain philosophers then you can check out my tumblr youridiotwriter ~


	15. Turnabout Assassins

**Summary** : Satoko learns just what the hell this mission is really about.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of bizarre squeaking and an unfamiliar weight on my chest.

"What the hell…?" I muttered drowsily, sitting up slowly and carefully as the weight on my chest suddenly disappeared.

"Ah, you're up," Kakashi's voice came from a few feet away, sounding nonchalant as ever. "I tried to wake you, but...your little friends tried to bite me."

Puzzled by what he said, I rubbed my eyes clear of morning haze and got a better look at what was around me, which was kind of hard, considering the sun was just barely lighting up the forest. Only then did I realize that I was surrounded by something reddish-brown and incredibly furry.

I had many, many questions and was no doubt confused, but all of that mattered a lot less when faced with the fact that this was literally the best way to wake up in the morning, ever.

"Foxes!" I exclaimed, startling at least half of them into scurrying several feet away. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"

The weight on my chest must have been one of the what seemed to be over a dozen red foxes sleeping on me, because now that I was sitting up, one of them pawed her way into my lap and made herself comfortable. I would have cried if I were the crying type. Instead I just kind melted emotionally and physically into the warmth of the fox's affection.

"S...Sensei…" I sniffed, looking towards him with a quivering bottom lip. "I'm...so happy…"

"We need to get going," he said, which would initially make him sound like a total hard-ass except for that even he looked at least amused by the situation.

"But they're so soft…" I whispered, gently petting the fox that had made herself at home in my lap. She opened her eyes and looked at me, wiggled her ears, then slowly closed her eyes again. "So pure…"

"We have a mission, Satoko," he chided.

"Oh, shit, right," I said upon remembering the several close encounters with death I'd had a mere five or six hours ago. I wasn't sure how long I had slept, but it couldn't have been long given that the sun had only just started breaking its way into the sky. Whether it was for two hours or ten, however, it still didn't change the fact that we were on a tight schedule, and that half of our team was still missing.

"Sorry foxes, but I have to go!" I said, to which the foxes whined and nuzzled against me. I whimpered quietly and looked up at Kakashi. "C...Can't I take them with me?"

Kakashi gave me a look before throwing Sasuke's bag at me without warning.

"Whoa-! Hey!" I cried, still scrambling to grab hold of the bag when he grabbed me around the waist with with one arm and literally pulled me along with him. "Holy shit, Sensei; you're like, crazy strong, you know that?"

"You're just very small," he answered smartly. "How's your leg?"

"Better, why?"

Once again without warning, he spun me forward and released me, which gave me about half a second to find my footing and start running alongside him. I yelped and stumbled forward, the shifting weight of the bag nearly making me trip over my own feet.

"You're just jealous 'cause the foxes love me and not you!" I accused as I finally had enough balance to swing Sasuke's bag over my shoulders. "Actually, now that I think about it, why _were_ there so many foxes? Is there some kinda catnip for foxes? Did I sleep in it?"

Kakashi seemed to ponder this before his eye widened just the slightest bit, indicating that he thought of something. "Of all the possible side effects, I never would have thought…"

It took me a moment to realize what side effects he was talking about. "Wait, is this because of the Kyuubi?" I finally asked, seeking confirmation that we were on the same page.

Kakashi shrugged. "It would be the most likely explanation."

 _I can't imagine Kushina also attracted hordes of foxes in her sleep, otherwise I'm sure Kakashi might have come to this conclusion much sooner. Maybe different hosts have different side effects?_

I thought back to the foxes nuzzling against me and briefly imagined Kurama using his foxy demon chakra to call upon a horde of foxes to keep me warm during the night. It was probably more of an instinctual thing for the foxes to gather around me, but I liked to think that was how it went down. Kurama did grow to care about Protagonist, after all, so it's not like he's a total jerk.

 _Speaking of the foxy demon, he still hasn't spoken to me. I wonder if that's even a thing? Maybe I need to go into that weird mindscape to talk to him._

Not that I had any idea how to get there in the first place. Ah, well.

"Well, being a jinchuuriki would have to come with _some_ perks," I answered the jounin with a cheeky grin. "Is it bad that I like this one more than the increased chakra pool and stamina?"

"Hm...I think you're allowed to appreciate whichever you want," Kakashi said rather thoughtfully after a moment's pause, then said more tauntingly, "Since it seems like you can gather foxes at your will, I guess we don't need to take any more dog walking missions."

I gasped dramatically, then frowned. "You _monster._ I'll be accepting dog missions for the entirety of my ninja career, even when I'm a mysteriously capable weirdo jounin like you!"

He ignored my description of him with a disheartened, half-lidded gaze before saying, "You won't make it to jounin if you can't even finish one mission without getting distracted."

"I've finished plenty of missions, thank you very much," I retorted before changing the subject back to one I was much more interested in. "I wonder if I can call the foxes out of the forest again… I wonder if I can take them home if I find them again?"

The jounin gave me an unimpressed look, his gaze more than enough to communicate the very strong _no_ that he never actually said.

 _Oh, boo, it's not like you're my landlord._

"What about a contract? Oh my god, can I make them into my summons?!"

"No," Kakashi said audibly this time. "It's not that simple. You need to form a contract with the species or animal in question, but it doesn't seem like these foxes have a contract scroll. They're just regular foxes."

"How can you tell the difference?" I asked. I already knew some summons were absurdly large, like Gamabunta, but Kakashi's ninken looked like regular dogs, save for the whole talking thing. Besides, not all summons talked, so there had to be something that separated summons from normal animals.

"Appearance, usually, but all summons have a more developed chakra system compared to their ordinary counterparts."

I sniffed. "One day I'll get fox summons and they'll be the most adorable summons ever."

"You should be more focused on how effective your summons are," Kakashi sighed.

"Fine," I grumbled, but thought to myself, _I'm gonna pick my summons the way I pick my Pokémon - cute, cool, and pretty, and nobody can stop me!_

Besides, wasn't half of being a ninja all about appearances? Why else would Kakashi bother dressing up his ninken in henohenomoheji uniforms?

 _I'll have to ask him about that one day._

"Let's pick up the pace," Kakashi said, interrupting my thoughts. "We need to make up for lost time."

"Aight," I huffed, reluctantly pushing foxes out of my thoughts for now. As much as I'd love to keep daydreaming about keeping a horde of foxes at my place, the mission unfortunately took priority at the moment.

We didn't do much except run in a straight line for an hour or two. It wasn't until the sun just started peeking over the canopy that we reached a stream. The water glistened under the sunlight and shimmered like stars, which I admired at first until we got close enough to see that the shimmering was kind of...unnaturally focused in one location by the branches that had been caught against some rocks.

"Wait a second," I murmured as we drew closer.

By the time we reached the edge of the stream, there was no doubt about it.

"It's...glitter," I said, crouching by the stream. I stuck my hand in the water and when I pulled it out, my hand was shimmering like the water. " _My_ glitter."

"I can't imagine it would be anybody else's," Kakashi noted.

"Y'know, my bag wasn't at the camp. I have Sasuke's instead, so maybe that means he took my bag and-" The following deduction made me pause as I took a moment to imagine the angsty Uchiha kid using a glitter-based weapon against a very serious, very deadly ninja assassin. I didn't even try to hold back my laugh. "Ha! And he said my weapons were useless!"

"They certainly have... _unique_ uses," the jounin reluctantly agreed, scratching the back of his head. "Well, unfortunately I can say from experience that a simple rinse in the stream won't get rid of it all. We might be able to track whoever your weapon was used against and get some answers."

I grinned widely, still riding the high of being absolutely thrilled by the fact that my weapon was actually used in an actual battle, and most likely by _Uchiha motherfucking Sasuke_ no less.

 _Holy shit, this makes glitter-bombing Madara actually seem possible._

"I'm totally making history here," I said proudly. "There's no denying it - I'm a genius. One day glitter bombs will be standardized and we'll all be using sparkly goodness to track down our deadly assassin enemies."

"For some reason I find that hard to believe," Kakashi drawled.

I gave him a smug look and held up my glitter hand. "Remind me again how long it took for you to wash all this out?"

The jounin made no response, just a face, before turning away to face upstream. "Let's go. Whoever got hit can't be too far."

"You mean bedazzled," I grinned, and he looked back at me with a look that said he didn't want any elaboration. I elaborated anyway. "Whoever got _bedazzled_ can't be too far."

Kakashi must have decided that it was easier to just ignore me, because he started running upstream again and didn't really wait for me to catch up.

Jerk.

It was the right call to follow the glittery tracks, however, because sure enough, two of the assassins from last night came into view, steadily creeping through the foliage and towards the stream. It would've been great if not for the fact that they clearly had their eyes set on the other half of our team, as well as our client.

"Shit," Kakashi hissed, rushing forward just as one of them broke out of the forest to attack. "Sasuke, behind you!"

The genin spun around the second Kakashi gave his warning and ducked just in time to dodge one of the assassin's attacks aimed for his neck. The other threw a handful of shuriken, which Kakashi easily deflected with his own weapons. By then, Sakura had already stopped in her tracks.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Go!" he shouted in return as he _very rudely threw my bag on the ground wow what the fuck dude_ , and then made the hand seals necessary for his signature fire jutsu.

 _Have a little delicacy for other people's things, why don't you?_

I took advantage of Sasuke's jutsu and was already making the hand seal I had become far too used to, releasing just the right amount of chakra needed to make a single clone.

"HEY LOOK A DISTRACTION!" my clone yelled, slamming itself right into the assassin that tried to attack my teammate, because as if I'd be dumb enough to bowl into an assassin myself. Kakashi followed immediately afterwards, occupying himself with the other enemy.

"Sakura, meet us at the capital," he ordered, then looked over his shoulder to face Sakura properly. "I'm counting on you."

"Y-Yes!" she responded shakily.

 _Kanjaku = drug cartel = potential secret partner in the government = TRUST NO ONE._

My brain processed this in a split second and with no time to think about it, I quickly added, "And don't trust anybody but the cRAP-!"

I had meant to say "caravan," but given that assassins were never ones to give their targets a chance to talk during battle, I had no choice but to prioritize avoiding the weapon that suddenly went flying at my face.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Sakura shouted, but with unwavering balance, she began her escape across the water with Takara on her back nevertheless.

 _Wait, across the water?!_

I watched in a short moment of awe as the pink kunoichi clearly ran across the surface of the stream before receiving a harsh reminder that there was still a battle going on literally two feet away from me upon the death of my clone.

"Don't let them get across!" Kakashi ordered over his shoulder. He was busy keeping one assassin in place, but the other easily sped past and headed straight towards us genin.

"Oh shit-!" I cried, already panicked from suddenly being rushed. As Sasuke confronted them with a surprisingly well-timed kick, I dove for my bag and quickly pulled out a glitter bomb. It doesn't take fancy ninjutsu to stop someone in their tracks, after all. "I've got this!"

I chucked the bomb up and over the assassin so that when it popped, they'd run straight into a rainfall of glitter. Just as I did, however, Sasuke was already taking a deep breath in preparation for his fire jutsu. Okay, so we weren't really in sync, but whatever - now the assassin would just be bedazzled _and_ on fire.

But when my weighted string mechanism swung forward and popped the bomb open, there was no rainfall of glitter.

It was a cloud of flour.

My eyes went wide and I immediately reached towards Sasuke and yelled, "NO _DON'T-!_ " but it was already too late.

Fire flew from his lips towards the assassin, and the instant a lick of flame reached the flour, it exploded.

A wall of heat slammed into our bodies. The impact forced the water apart, evaporating some while making the rest crash against the shore. The fire expanded and rushed upwards, dropping a rain of unburned flour back into the stream and carried away by the current and the waves, and when it dissipated, bits of charred cloth from the pouch and presumably the assassin's clothes got caught by the wind and slowly drifted away.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

It was as equally awesome as it was _horrifying._

The targeted assassin was blasted several feet back towards the shore and broke through the water's surface with a loud splutter and cough. They were still alive, but they were dishevelled and too battered up to escape. Getting caught within three feet or so of a dust explosion would probably do that to someone, even if that someone was a trained ninja killer.

For a moment, I stared with wide eyes and mouth parted as I fully took in how literally my mistake had blown up in my face. Slowly, I turned towards Sasuke, my expression unchanged. He looked back at me with a surprisingly similar look, except with hint of "What the fuck?!" instead of the "Holy _fuck._ " that mine probably had.

And then he punched me in the shoulder.

"What the hell was that?!" he demanded, throwing an arm out towards the stream although most of the evidence of the explosion had already been washed away. "You could've gotten us both killed!"

"It was an accident!" I shouted back. "Besides, I told you I had it! This wouldn't have happened if you stopped trying to breath fire at anything that moves"

"You're the one who set the Hokage Palace on fire!"

"Guys-"

"That's not important!"

"Satoko-"

"Like hell it isn't!"

" **Cut it out, you two,** " Kakashi demanded firmly as he knocked us each on the head, which got an "Ow!" from both of us. "Satoko, why did you have flour bombs in the first place?"

I huffed, rubbing my arm instead of my head to make a point of who hit me harder, and who I was more pissed at for hitting me. "They're _supposed_ to be used _strategically_. I made them with the intention of using it along with Bastard's ninjutsu, since I still haven't figured out how to ignite it from a distance myself, and you're always talking about teamwork or whatever," I grumbled, playing into Protagonist's childishness as I looked away. "Besides, I meant to use a glitter bomb, but I guess I grabbed the wrong one by mistake."

Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Only you would be stupid enough to get your own weapons mixed up."

"Only _you_ would be stupid enough to breath fire at the _flour bomb!_ " I countered.

I grit my teeth and glowered, because it's not like I made them all look exactly the same. The flour bombs were made with red fabric while the glitter bombs were blue. Besides, I was super careful when I made them, because I was nitpicky that way - I only make one type at a time, and if I make both types in the same day, I make absolutely sure to completely wipe down the work area so I don't end up getting glitter and flour mixed together. Even so, both fillings were pretty messy, so no matter how clean I was, there was always some glitter that would get stuck outside the glitter bombs, and likewise with the flour.

Which is exactly what I saw when I was grabbing the bomb in the first place - I grabbed the one that was stained with glitter, and it's not like I really had time to double-check when I could hardly find the time to even _breathe_ in the middle of a battle.

" _Both_ of you screwed up because you weren't paying attention to each other's movements," Kakashi interjected, his voice indicating that he was in lecture mode. "If you don't learn to work with each other instead of against each other, you really will end up killing each other."

 _Okay, not that you know it, but that could be taken as some really creepy prophecy considering how things are supposed to play out._

I said nothing and instead continued sulking with my arms crossed. There was a moment where Sasuke and I made eye-contact, but we both scowled and instinctively turned away with no attempt made to hide our irritation and annoyance towards each other.

Kakashi sighed deeply and shook his head. "We can continue this later, so why don't you guys just apologize to each other for now and we can get back to the mission?"

There was mutual grumbling and the refusal to go first, because that would be like losing or however a shitty twelve-year-old would interpret an apology. So after a few moments of stubbornness from both sides, I decided to be the adult I technically was and stuck my hand out with a huff to make the Seal of Reconciliation.

 _He feels more like my bratty younger brother, if anything,_ I thought, but was relieved that Sasuke at least reciprocated. _Augh, good. Now I can say you have at least_ one _iota of decency in you._

Kakashi seemed to be satisfied with this, because he sighed a breath of relief himself and patted our backs.

"Alright, let's get back to work," he said, then started walking further away from the stream where he dropped the wet assassin next to the dry one. I wasn't sure when he managed to get that done, but I had long since decided to stop wondering how the jounin works his magic.

"So, what, do we interrogate them now or something?" I asked, tilting my head curiously.

The dry assassin scoffed. "Don't waste your breath. The worst thing you could do to me is kill me. Anything you do to me, my employer can match by tenfold. You're better off snapping my neck right now and getting it over with."

 _Does Kanjaku really have that much power?_ I thought, but was soon distracted by Kakashi stepping behind the assassin and getting ready to _actually snap their neck._

"Well, if you insist," he drawled, about to grip the assassin's head.

"Hold on!" I interjected, holding out a hand to gesture for him to stop. "What the hell, Sensei?! I thought you were supposed to like, kick them in the face to get them to talk and be all, ' _I'm worse than you imagined_ ' and get them to break! Not kill them right off the bat!" I said, changing my voice so that it was low and gravelly in the middle as I imitated a generic interrogator.

The jounin sighed deeply, moving away from standing directly behind the assassin to being more at their side. "It's called bluffing, Satoko, but thank you for rendering its effect useless."

I dropped my hand. "...Oh. Well, I wanted to ask you something, anyway," I said nodding away from the assassins to suggest privacy.

Kakashi looked uncertain, but then gestured at Sasuke to watch the assassins.

"I wanna try talking to them," I said once we were out of earshot.

His expression fell into a disapproving, half-lidded stare. "This is your first C-Rank mission, Satoko. You don't need to be interrogating assassins yet."

" _Yet_ ," I repeated. "Which means I have to _eventually_ , which means I should take the chance while I've got a safe environment, given that they're tied and bound and you're here, _and_ that my teammate can get the experience, too."

"They aren't practice dummies, Satoko," he frowned - an expression I could read even though his mask. "They're real enemies who still pose a real risk no matter how safe the environment may seem."

"I know! I just think that there's no harm in trying the passive route, first. I mean, either beating the crap out of them gets them to talk, or it doesn't. Whether you do it before or after I try talking to them doesn't matter much, right?" Given his expression and the way his shoulders were tense, he was visibly refusing, so I decided to play a cheap shot and use my I'm an Orphan Ostracized by the Entire Village card. "I mean, I know there've been times where _I_ wished I got a chance to talk before ultimately getting beat up..."

I saw him flinch just the tiniest bit, then sigh and relax his shoulders. "...Alright. But don't waste too much time - we can't leave Sakura alone with Takara-san for much longer."

The image of Sakura figuring out how to water walk literally on the spot just a few minutes ago crossed my mind.

 _She's already one step ahead of us,_ I thought fondly.

"We're still at risk of another attack so long as we're out here, so don't be so loud, either," Kakashi added.

I made a face, but nodded.

I contemplated the idea of surrounding the perimeter with shadow clones, but decided that Kakashi definitely thought of this idea as well and must've decided that the cons outweighed the pros, since he didn't bring it up.

"The only problem is, even if they do tell us anything, I have no idea if they'll be telling the truth or not," I murmured, eyes flickering towards the assassins.

"I'll have that part covered," Kakashi reassured, patting my head.

 _Oh, right. Sharingan. And general 20+ years of experience, or whatever._

"Yessir," I replied absently, although mostly I was already getting distracted by being given the chance to talk to them in the first place.

There was a curiosity about the thought processes of nukenin that I wanted to satiate while I had the chance, but it was also that these assassins made for good guinea pigs to test out my Protagonist Friendship Speech ability. If it worked, at least to some degree, then I might be able to get some information out of them. If it didn't, Kakashi could kill them, which… well, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about that, but it at least wouldn't leave any loose ends or ticking time bombs like what Sasuke still was.

I certainly didn't feel like I had any right to talk about what was right and wrong when I was still wrapping my head around whether or not there was it was _only_ good or _only_ bad to be thankful that Kakashi killed two nukenin before they could kill me.

Morality was a mentally exhausting thing to think about when murder was so commonplace, and it wasn't so much that I felt particularly bad or good about it in the face of being alive _because_ of it. My issues were more along the lines of whether or not there was really no other solution other than the "kill first, ask questions later" approach.

 _I mean, there's nothing wrong with self-defence, especially since a lot of the people shinobi defend themselves against actually_ are _trying to kill them, but maybe shinobi shouldn't be so quick to resort to murder as their only solution._

You'd think there'd be more political tension from shinobi accidentally killing people who were more than just Generic Foreign Ninja #3716.

...Clearly this mission had given me a lot to think about once I got back to the village.

Sasuke was giving me a suspicious look when we walked back, but I ignored him and instead shooed him aside so I could take his spot in front of the assassins.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions," I stated casually, showing no attempt whatsoever at being hostile or malicious towards them.

"As if I'd answer any questions a brat like you might ask," the dry assassin said, rolling their eyes.

"Hey, how about you at least wait to shoot me down until I ask one," I huffed, squatting in front of them so I was at their eye-level. "Like, how come you're more loyal to your employer than you were to your village? You guys scared the shit outta me last night, so you've gotta be at least chuunin, or maybe even jounin. You can only make it so far if you actually care about the village, even just a little bit, right? Why would you betray it?"

Not ANBU though, or else we would've been dead before we even knew it, but I had a feeling that given how deep one's loyalty to the village had to be in order to become ANBU in the first place, it was rare for any nukenin to have formerly been one.

 _Unless you're Uchiha Itachi, but he doesn't really count because he's technically still loyal._

The dry assassin scoffed loudly, and to my surprise, so did the wet one. "It's not that hard to betray your village when your village betrays you, first," the latter said.

"That's heavy," I murmured, eyes wide as I took that in. "Wanna elaborate?"

"A measly genin doesn't deserve an elaboration," the dry one retorted.

"You're wasting time," Sasuke muttered from beside me. I looked up at Kakashi to see if I really was, but the jounin just kept his eye trained on the assassins and said nothing. I took it as a sign that it was alright for me to keep the conversation going.

"Can I at least get your names?" I asked, now sitting cross-legged in front of the two assassins.

"What kind of shinobi, deserter or not, gives out their name so easily? And to a child, no less," the wet one scoffed.

I made a face. "Because right now I'm referring to you guys as 'the wet one' and 'the dry one' in my head and it's getting really inconvenient. At least give me something to call you, or else I'm gonna give you nicknames myself, like... Thing One and Thing Two, or Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum."

The dry one clicked their tongue, but complied.

 _Strategy "Propose an Alternate Idea So Ridiculous the Enemy has No Choice but to Comply with your Original Idea," success!_

"Fine," they muttered. "Call me Furumi."

I blinked, slightly wide-eyed. "That's pretty! What about you?" I asked, now looking at the other.

They hesitated for a bit - long enough for them to have to blink away droplets of water that were dripping into their eyes - before answering. "...Migi."

"Furumi and Migi it is!" I grinned, leaning back on my hands.

I snuck a glance up at Kakashi, who looked at me briefly, but still said nothing. I couldn't tell if he approved of my tactics, if they could even be called such, but he certainly wasn't trying to stop it, so it must've meant that he was getting _something_ out of it, or was at least curious enough to see where it'd go. Meanwhile, Sasuke was radiating annoyance as he stood behind me. I ignored him and continued with my line of questioning.

"Okay, so the village betrayed you in a way that made you pissed enough to defect," I nodded, not wanting to express any doubt in their belief of this. Considering all I knew about Itachi, that was more likely than I'd like to admit, and they obviously felt strongly enough to desert the village in the first place. "So then, what makes your employer so deserving of your loyalty, even to the point of death? Sensei killed, like, three of you guys last night, and he's totally ready to kill you guys, too. What makes death less scary than the potential consequences of betraying your employer?"

"I almost forgot how naive you genin are," Furumi said with a bitter laugh. "You walk alongside death the moment you accept that headband. The fact that you admit your fear of death just proves how weak you still are."

"You'd best get rid of that fear soon," Migi said nonchalantly. "You can't depend on your sensei to protect you forever."

 _Geez, talk about dramatic._

I frowned, mostly because being called weak while Sasuke was right next to me not only made it easier for him to look down on me, but also made it possible for him to take the comment personally.

"I like to think that not wanting to die is a pretty good motivator to get shit done," I countered without much of a pause. "Like, sure, it's kinda there and all, but it's not like I'm _not_ gonna try and fight it if it tries to stab me in the gut."

I did take a moment, however, to read between the lines of what they just said. If the two of them weren't afraid of death because it came with being a shinobi, then it meant Kanjaku was threatening them with something that _doesn't_ come with being one. I started listing off the risks that came to mind, and it didn't take much for me to realize that it was a pretty shitty list.

 _Lost limbs, torture, trauma, comas, death, death of comrades, death of friends, death of family..._

I furrowed my brow as I thought of the last one. It wasn't always the case that an entire family was made up of shinobi. Sakura was an example of that herself, along with all the other civilian-born shinobi out there. I huffed and resting my chin in my hands.

The idea that the two nukenin who tried to kill me, my teammates, and our client last night might have friends and/or family who weren't shinobi they still cared for was a hard one to accept. It forced me to humanize them in a way I honestly didn't want to, because it made all of this that much harder. It was always easier to think of the enemy as heartless monsters who did the things they do out of pure evil.

 _I mean, sometimes people really_ are _just like that, or because they're ignorant, but these guys are anything but._

It didn't help that we - or rather, Kakashi, but I certainly didn't try to stop it - killed three people just last night; people who likely had motivations similar to Furumi and Migi.

"So then, is your employer holding your families hostage, or something?" I finally asked, tilting my head to the side. I was pretty confident that I was on the right track, but I flicked my eyes up at Kakashi just to make sure. He gave me the slightest nod, and I decided that he saw something in their reactions that I didn't, because as much as I could make deductions with my young adult mind trapped in a kid's body, I certainly wasn't trained in spotting tells. I decided to expand the range of possibilities and added, "Or friends, maybe."

Sasuke seemed to have put two and two together, because he suddenly quipped in with his own speculation and said firmly, "They need the money."

Training or not, even a blind monkey could see the way the nukenin both reacted to his claim.

I looked up at Sasuke, confused. "Dude, did you read their minds or something? Whaddya know that we don't?"

 _At least this is turning into more of a group effort. Oh my god, wait, are we doing good cop bad cop?_

"Sakura and I spoke to Takara last night to get an understanding of why she might get attacked. She said her late mother founded a program that provided jobs to former shinobi," he explained, then said more bitterly, "Although I don't think she knew the jobs included hits on herself."

"Then why would you rather die than spill the beans if you need the money for someone?" I asked, addressing Furumi. "Unless...if you die, they get some kind of monetary compensation, like insurance, or something?"

Surely life insurance existed in some form in a world where relatives die in battle practically every day, right?

"You're jumping to conclusions pretty quick there, kid," Furumi said, their voice now with a warning edge. "You shouldn't talk like you know everything when you don't even know what you're dealing with."

"Then tell us!" I practically whined, even gesturing to emphasize how frustrated I was getting. "You guys are obviously shinobi in some way, shape, or form, but if you were _former_ shinobi in the sense that you were discharged from your duties, then that means you must've been deemed permanently incapable of battle for whatever reason. Except _that_ doesn't make sense, considering that you guys are clearly capable of fighting, so either you're being forced into this, or you feel like this is the only way to get what you need. And whichever it is, it's despite having some reason you're not supposed to be able to fight."

 _Although if that's the case, it_ does _explain why us genin were still capable of not dying within ten seconds of fighting them._

"It's the latter," Sasuke said, this time taking a step forward. "Konoha must not support discharged shinobi enough, otherwise a program made solely for providing discharged shinobi with a new means of income wouldn't be necessary. Their families aren't being threatened with death - they're being threatened by debt."

At this, Furumi and Migi exchanged glances, as though they were communicating in their thoughts. Gradually, I felt the atmosphere change - it was tense and full of defensive walls put up to protect ourselves from one another, but was slowly weakening to one of resignation.

 _Bull's-eye._

I thought deeply about what Sasuke said as I looked between the two assassins sitting bound before me. Now that I thought about it, they looked like the age to still have living parents, siblings, or significant others, especially if the people in question were civilians.

I had no idea how many people would fit that criteria, but if there was one person in the family who made most, if not all, of the income and they suddenly lost their job permanently, then it went without saying that it would cause a number of financial problems, especially if that person lost their job because of a career-ending injury or severe mental trauma. I'd learned enough about Konoha's medical care to know that it was free for all registered shinobi, but I had no idea how much was covered for those who had been officially discharged.

 _What really gets to me is that, from the military dictatorship standpoint that Konoha is, I can't even completely disagree with their prioritizing, but if this is the case, then… we basically just drove three families into bankruptcy._

Simply put, this _sucked._ It sucked, but… Well, as long as we knew the source of the problem, we could work towards providing a solution, right?

"...What if we helped?" I suggested, speaking carefully now.

"What could _you_ possibly do to help?" Migi frowned.

I shrugged. "Well, it would help to know all the details about how the program works, and how you two are involved, but for starters…" I trailed off for a moment to gather my thoughts. "Takara is the daughter of the woman who founded the program, right? So if we could get her in charge, maybe she can-"

I cut myself off as a flurry of realizations dawned upon me all at once.

 _Wait a second. If Takara's mom is dead, then who's in charge right now?_

I went back to the beginning, silently piecing the bits of information we'd gathered along the way into something even remotely coherent.

Takara's mom founded the program, then she died and left her inheritance to Takara. Kanjaku was the one who hired the assassins to kill Takara because he wanted the inheritance for his drug trade. The assassins were part of the program founded by Takara's mom, which was how they got the job to kill Takara in the first place.

The program gave them the job. But it's also true that Kanjaku gave them the job, which means Kanjaku must have authority within the program.

Kanjaku runs the program. But it's also true that Kanjaku runs the drug trade.

I gasped, hands covering my mouth and all.

"The drug trade and the program are the same thing and Kanjaku is a _massive_ jerk!" I practically shouted, flailing my hands wildly as I tried to wrap my head around it all.

I could feel all eyes on me - intrigue from Kakashi, doubt from Sasuke, and reluctance from Furumi and Migi. There was a long, heavy silence that followed my outburst until finally, Migi spoke.

"Well," they said in a voice so quiet I had to strain to hear it, "you're not _completely_ wrong."

As it turns out, Kakashi and I were right about our suspicions about Kanjaku having a partner. Her name was Furyoku Sagi, and from what Furumi and Migi told us about her, _she_ was the massive jerk.

"Everything you had suspected to have been Kanjaku's doing was really hers, and then some," Furumi said with a frown. "It may be easier to start from the beginning."

It was a good thing that I was already sitting, because I had a feeling it was going to be a _long_ beginning.

"Takara's mother is Kakuchou Ryoukuna. Kanjaku is her brother, and together, they both wanted to create a program that would help support retired shinobi such as ourselves. Although we are compensated to a degree, there are many of us who have severe injuries or mental illnesses that require constant care and medication that the funds cannot afford. And, as you mentioned previously," they said, eyeing Sasuke pointedly, "many of the retired shinobi who need support were their family's only source of income, or have nobody to help them. It was a noble cause, and for many, it gave new meaning to life."

I nodded thoughtfully. I could only imagine what it was like for a shinobi - someone trained to give their entire life for the village - to suddenly have that purpose taken away from them.

Furumi continued, gaze low and voice reminiscent. "They needed funding to get the program started, however, so Sagi offered her support. In the capital, she's likened to a Saint. As a whole, people think of her as one of virtue, but anybody in our position knows that she's anything but." Their lips curved into a frown as they continued. "Although it's true that Sagi helps the many, it's at the cost of the few. For her, the ends justifies the means, no matter what they are."

 _Like putting a hit on a civilian teenager,_ I thought grimly.

"The program was a little shaky at first and there weren't many of us retired shinobi who received support. There eventually came a time where Ryoukuna-san and Kanjaku argued over what the program should prioritize - jobs or medication, respectively. Both were necessary, of course, but if either one of them were to be of any use to those of us in the program, they could only afford one or the other."

The expression Furumi wore became darker and darker the more they spoke. I had my suspicions on what happened between then and now that made the program turn into what it was, but said nothing until I heard it directly from the source.

"Sagi gave Kanjaku her funding, in the end, but only because she knew that she would be able to take control over the circulation of medication."

"And this medication was opium," Kakashi stated more than he asked, seeking clarification.

Both nukenin nodded, although Furumi was the only one who continued to speak.

"There are...other effects, yes, as well as its risks, but when taken responsibly and in proper doses, the pain relief helps immensely. It's not its only use, but that's usually why people want it - or in many cases, need it." They took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It occurred to me that it must not be easy to tell a few strangers everything all at once, especially when two of those strangers were kids. "Many discharged shinobi left the program after that, with most trying their luck at finding shinobi administrative jobs back in Konoha. Anybody who stayed were either too desperate to leave or where threatened to stay put. Although...there are a few who genuinely support Sagi's methods. It's profitable, after all."

I had no idea who this Sagi person was, but if she could keep that many people under an iron fist, then she clearly knew what the hell she was doing.

 _Is it wrong that the political enemies are way scarier than the assassins?_

There weren't a lot of consequences that came with killing an assassin, after all, but killing political figures? That would only get _more_ assassins sent after you - not to mention angry civilians who supported said figure, amongst a whole lot of other consequences that just didn't come with killing the person who tried to kill you first.

 _...Not sure if this is a good or bad development of thought._

"Ryoukuna-san was killed shortly afterwards," Migi said, surprising all of us both by their voice and choice of words. What was most surprising, however was how Furumi seemed to be hearing this for the first time, as well.

"What do you mean?" they asked, eyes wide with shock. "As deceitful as Sagi is, it was confirmed that there was no foul play involved in Ryoukuna-san's death, but rather a heart attack brought on by stress."

Migi shook their head. "Sagi had her killed because she wanted Ryoukuna-san's inheritance in order to use it for her own gains. The logic was that, if the money didn't go to Kanjaku, then it would go to the capital, from which she would still be able to gain access to the funds. Sagi used Ryoukuna-san's death to threaten Kanjaku into helping her turn the program into a drug cartel, unless he wanted to be framed for his sister's murder and for the abuse of the program. Once it was revealed that Ryoukuna-san's inheritance was going to Takara-san and neither Kanjaku nor the capital, however, his help included bringing out his niece so that she could be killed en route for the inheritance."

"What exactly was the plan, anyway?" I asked, readjusting myself so that I was sitting with my feet in front and my knees bent and tucked under my chin. "From what I gather, it's something along the lines of Kanjaku telling Takara that her mom is dead, then he leads her to the meeting point marked by the trees, then you guys attack and kill her."

"But other factors came into play during the actual attack, like me and Sakura being drugged," Sasuke added. "It also doesn't explain how the caravan was involved. Why risk having merchants and four shinobi stand between Kanjaku and his target?"

Migi nodded as they said, "There were a number of steps involved, yes, and although I'm not aware of all the details myself, I'll tell you what I know for certain."

 _I really wish I had a notebook right about now._

"Sagi gets her opium from all over the country, but only Konoha is an official route approved by both the Daimyou and the Hokage. This route is the one that supplies the program with medication. The others supply her cartel. Her plan was to use the Konoha route to transport Takara to the capital along with the medication."

"Does that mean the caravan members were all a part of this assassination, too?" I asked.

Migi looked uncertain about how to answer. "It's hard to say. I know that Sadame-san and Tomi-san are part of Sagi's program, so they should have been, but if I remember correctly, Hanjou-san was part of the group who left after Ryoukuna-san was killed. I don't know why she was there, but considering how many things didn't go as planned during the actual attack, it leads me to believe that Sadame-san and Tomi-san never intended to help with the assassination, and that Hanjou-san must have at least been working with them somehow."

"So the caravan members aren't actually merchants _or_ people-smugglers?" I asked, just to be sure I was on the right page here.

Both nukenin shook their heads and said, "No."

I looked up at Kakashi, silently demanding answers, but he simply turned his head in a way that told me that even he had no way of seeing that one coming.

Although, if all three of them were or still are part of Ryoukuna's program, that meant they were all retired shinobi, which at least explained how they didn't die within two seconds of the attack. Well, their possible affiliation with the assassinations could've been an explanation, too, but now it seemed like that wasn't the case. I was starting to suspect that some past events were more than just mistakes.

"I think Sadame drugged me while in transit," I blurted out. "Was that part of the plan?"

The nukenin looked perplexed, but shook their head. "...No, it wasn't. Rather than drug one of you separately, the plan was to drug any shinobi involved before the attack to get them out of the way. Takara was the only target, after all, and no good would come from killing up to four of Konoha's shinobi."

"I still don't get it. Why were shinobi hired in the first place if it was such a risk that they'd get found out?" I asked, which earned me a mildly annoyed glare from Migi.

"I was about to explain," they said flatly. I smiled meekly and shrunk back as they continued. "It's possible to hide Sagi's abuse of the program, but impossible to hide the fact that they were using one of the wagons approved to transport opium while at the same time smuggling Ryoukuna-san's daughter. Hiring shinobi escorts was mandatory."

"If that's the case, why would Sadame drug me way before the attack? That's practically screaming, 'Hey! We're dealing drugs! And it's the real good kind, too!' And then all it did was stop me from ingesting the drugged tea because I recognized the t-" I paused, put two and two together about five steps late, and lowered my previously-gesturing hands back into my lap. "...Oh."

So, like, future reference to all potential double-agent people-smuggling non-merchants everywhere - giving warnings about getting drugged only work when the target actually knows what being drugged feels like.

"...I think it's safe to say for sure that Sadame and Tomi decided they weren't gonna help kill Takara-san." I concluded. "Actually... it seems more like they were actively trying to make us realize that the mission was more than what it seemed." I made sure to check with Kakashi for confirmation. He didn't look entirely confident, but he at least didn't show any signs that I was making a blatant contradiction somewhere.

 _This must be what it feels like to be Phoenix Wright under Edgeworth's scrutiny._

Although, if going by appearance alone, Sasuke was much better suited to be the attorney.

I did my best to withhold any signs of amusement, because _wow_ , talk about inappropriate thoughts and inappropriate times.

"In other words, we still don't know what they were trying to accomplish," Sasuke said. "That still leaves Hanjou," he added, but it didn't seem like either nukenin had an answer for that.

"We'll just have to ask them about the details later, but what's important is that they aren't trying to kill Takara," Kakashi said, speaking for the first time since the interrogation - which was more like the world's most convoluted revelation over tea at this point - began.

 _What's important is that we finally have some background information on what the hell was actually going on this entire time._

I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. Being right kind of sucked when it came to assassinations and drug dealing, especially when I was only half-right and the truth was so much worse.

Furumi finally spoke again. "How do you know that what you say about Kanjaku is true?" they asked, looking doubtful. "I knew about Sadame-san and Tomi-san's involvement, but I've always been under the impression that Kanjaku and Sagi were working together. I don't recall ever hearing about him being threatened."

"He told me himself," Migi said, their voice somehow managing to become even quieter, "when he offered me over half his shares as payment to help fake his death so that he could leave the country after Takara-san was killed."

Their words hit us like a ton of bricks, and suddenly, the man who at first had been kind, then suspicious, then cruel, was now nothing more than a pathetic coward.

"It sounds like running is the only option left after deciding to kill your own family," Sasuke muttered, his voice bitter and expression grim.

There was a twitch in one of Kakashi's fingers. I pointedly didn't look at either of them because I wasn't sure how much Protagonist was supposed to know about the Uchiha Massacre, other than the fact that they were all dead. It was kinda hard to miss _that_ much, no matter how inattentive to shinobi matters one was.

"But the plan failed," I said, hoping to steer the mood away from the crap-fest it was starting to become, no thanks to Sasuke, Prince of Angst and Drama. "Is it part of your job to tell him that Takara's still alive?"

"I was supposed to meet him after the attack to receive the rest of my payment, but since Takara is still alive, neither of us have proof of death."

"That's also why we attacked again just now," Furumi said, eyes flicking towards the stream and back.

Migi nodded. "Even if I did have proof, he wasn't at our meeting spot last night," they said. "It's possible that he fled without holding up his end of the bargain."

"What a _dick_ ," I said without thinking. I covered my mouth belatedly, ignoring the scolding look I received from Kakashi. "Sorry, that was crude."

The corner of their lips twitched as they fought back a smile. "No, you're right. He may be the most dishonourable man I have ever met," they said with a sullen nod, "but I may be just as bad, if not worse, for accepting his offer. There's very little room for honour in moments of desperation."

I had to pause and think about what to say in response to that.

Part of me wanted to embrace my tactless twelve-year-old impulses and ask just what exactly they needed the money for, but the twenty-year-old part of me beat it down with critical thinking and self-reprimanding.

Plus, if I did ask, it might suggest that I was trying to judge whether their level of desperation was enough for me to excuse their actions and, well… again, in a world full of sanctioned murder, ethics seemed a lot more complex compared to my old life.

"I think…people do what they think is necessary to achieve their goals," I said carefully, "but I also think it's important to know the difference between the people who only feel remorse, and the ones who act upon it."

I looked up at Furumi and Migi and steeled myself for what I was about to say next.

"And I think what determines whether or not Sensei kills you after this depends on which one you decide to be."

* * *

 **Author's Note** : If you're the kinda person who likes bonus content stuff, considering checking out my tumblr youridiotwriter for stuff like excerpts and sometimes art, but mostly me yelling about various things :D


	16. Follow the Glittery Road

**Summary** : Satoko and Sasuke change jobs from cops to detectives. Kakashi is proud, probably, but not because of them.

* * *

We took a few minutes to do an inventory check before heading off to the capital, during which I found out something very important.

Sasuke was a _prick._

"YOU!" I shouted, pointing an overdramatically accusatory finger at my teammate from where I sat along the bank with my bag open in front of me. " _You_ made me throw the wrong bomb!"

"How do I have anything to do with your mistake?" he hissed back, having just finished counting his kunai and shuriken.

I held my bag open towards him and shook it. "Look at this! You broke one of my glitter bombs when you threw my bag onto the ground! No wonder I didn't notice when I grabbed the wrong one - _everything is covered in glitter!_ "

"That's because your weapons are stupid and ineffective!"

"You're face is stupid and ineffective!" I retorted, scowling. "You know first hand that my weapons work; they saved your stupid avian-haired ass. _Twice!_ At least show some appreciation when you use other people's stuff - I could say a few things about how your ego's so big it's probably stretching out my clothes!"

 _Well, I guess I already did say a few things, huh._

Sasuke scowled back, but said nothing more.

I already knew to expect that at least one glitter bomb would be missing, since we found traces of glitter in the stream. When I asked Sasuke about it, he so brilliantly and reluctantly informed me that yes, it really _was_ him who used it against the enemy in a fit of desperation and lack of coherence because he and Sakura were both drugged and were in no condition to be performing any ninjutsu.

My hysterical laughing at the image of _Uchiha Sasuke_ using a _glitter bomb_ and "In your face!" dance lasted all but two seconds until I opened my bag to see the mess he'd created, bringing us back to square one.

I grumbled insults at the brat under my breath as I carefully pulled out what was left of my inventory. Of the original three flour bombs, two Molotovs, and five glitter bombs, there were now two of each.

I frowned.

"Yo, Sasuke," I called, once again neutral instead of ready to punch his face in, "remind me again how many glitter bombs you guys used?"

"Only one," he said, clearly irritated that I was still talking to him.

I hummed thoughtfully and looked back at my inventory. "Which should leave me with four, but then there's the one that broke in the bag, which leaves three, so then…" I spoke to myself as I pulled out the plastic bag I had used to line the inside of my bag and tied it up, instantaneously cleaning up most of the glittery mess.

 _Thank you high school outdoor ed class for teaching me_ something _applicable. Not that I'd ever imagined I'd use it under these circumstances._

Point being, I should have had three glitter bombs left. I pouted my lips and went back to glowering at Sasuke.

"Hey," I called out to Sasuke again. "You sure you didn't use two? Like, maybe you were too drugged up to remember, or something?"

The Uchiha glared as fiercely as his twelve-year-old eyes could and said, with heavy emphasis, "I'm _sure._ "

"Then why do I only have two?" I said to myself, although apparently it was loud enough for him to hear it, anyway.

"Probably because you're an idiot who can't even count to five."

"Oh, you _little_ -" I gaped, fueled by annoyance. Without thinking, I grabbed a glitter bomb and threatened to throw it at him. "I'll give you five seconds to _run like hell_ before I bedazzle your pasty ass, you bastard-!"

I probably would've gone through with it, too, if not for the fact that making my own teammate easier to track was counter productive. And because somebody grabbed my wrist so I physically couldn't throw it anyway.

"That's enough, you two," Kakashi sighed, releasing my arm after taking the bomb away. He then addressed me in a lower voice, "We'll have to discuss your choice in weapons once this mission is over."

"But they're awesome! And they totally embrace the element of surprise," I huffed and crossed my arms. "I even got _you_ with one of 'em," I grumbled.

Either he didn't hear me or chose to ignore me - definitely the latter, actually, considering how close he was and how much I wasn't really trying to be quiet about it - because the jounin left without so much as a grunt directed at me.

 _Buttface,_ I thought, then returned to wiping my arsenal clean of glitter as much as I could. _God, they're so much fun to use, but so,_ so _horrible when you gotta suffer the consequences yourself._ Which was actually why I insisted on using them.

After a few more minutes of cleaning and checking inventory, Kakashi stood in the middle of the bank and raised his voice loud enough for all of us to hear. "We're setting out in two minutes!"

"Hai!" answered four voices.

"Your hair is still a little sparkly, Migi-san" Furumi said, although there wasn't much they could do to help while we were running through the trees and top speed.

"In all my years in the field, I've never encountered such a weapon before," Migi said, giving me a look. "It's certainly...unique. And effective. Both of them were, although the second one was much more destructive."

I laughed sheepishly and glanced away before I ended up staring at the bandages that covered the minor burns they got from the dust explosion. "To be fair, I didn't really expect us to become allies."

"We're fortunate to have stored some backup equipment nearby, otherwise we'd look more like prisoners," Furumi laughed, their voice gruff but warm. It was weird to think that it was the same voice threatening us just minutes before.

It was true, though - compared to their dark nukenin outfits complete with scratched headbands and masks, both of them were now wearing something closer to civilian clothing, but were still fit for combat. The colours were lighter, too - Furumi had an earthy palette going on while Migi colour coded themselves in lavender and grey.

"Speaking of which, how are we gonna get through the gate?" I asked. "Won't they think it's weird for you two to come back with a group of shinobi?"

"We can just say that we were making an exchange outside the capital. That's what this thing is for," Migi said, nodding over their shoulders towards the straw basket strapped to their back. It was part of their backup equipment, and I had been wondering why they stored it along with everything else.

"I find it hard to believe that the guardpost at the capital would be so lax," Sasuke said, looking uncertain and rather unimpressed.

Turns out, they kinda were. Maybe having Copy-Cat Kakashi with us helped matters a little, though, but I wouldn't know. What was important, however, was the extra information the guards told us once we explained that our team got separated along the way.

"Are you three with Sakura?" the guard with long hair asked, eyeing my team.

We nodded in unison, already feeling the tension in the air.

"She arrived thirty minutes ago with your client, Kakuchou Takara, although they didn't mention where they would wait."

 _Sounds like Sakura took my advice on not trusting anyone. Not that it was entirely accurate, but hey, better safe than sorry._

I could already hear her yelling at me about being misleading, though. Whoops.

"Thank you for letting us know. I'm sure we'll find her in no time," Kakashi answered with a one-eyed smile.

It was then that I noticed the faintest glimmer on the side of the desk that faced us, where the guards couldn't see. I resisted the urge to say anything until we were away from the possibly Sagi-affiliated guards.

"We'll split up to cover more ground. Besides, travelling as a group of five will definitely attract unwanted attention," Kakashi sighed, looking down the road. It was crowded, to say the least, with winding, narrow roads not unlike Konoha's streets. He glanced back at Furumi and Migi with a skeptical look. "How likely is it that someone will recognize you two?"

"As long as we avoid certain areas, very unlikely," Furumi answered. "Unfortunately, the best I can do is suppress what's left of my chakra signature, but he can still do full transformations," they said, tilting their head towards Migi.

I could tell that my teammates were all thinking the same thing at Furumi's choice of words, but none of us made a sound. It was _probably_ really tactless to ask a discharged shinobi how their chakra got blocked - apparently permanently, or close enough - even for a twelve-year-old genin. I figured it was the same reason Kakashi never straight up asked exactly what got them discharged, although not knowing what they were and weren't capable of was still a bit unnerving - even if they weren't our enemies anymore.

"Alright then," Kakashi said, pulling his hands out of his pockets, which was a sure sign that this was serious business. "Furumi, if you have anything you can use to cover your face, then do that. The rest of us will transform. Then we'll split into two groups - Sasuke and Satoko will pair up while I'll search with you two," he said, gesturing towards Furumi and Migi.

As much as Sasuke and I were already scowling at each other, it was probably better than leaving us with the still-suspicious former enemies.

"The only question is, how are we supposed to comb through the capital without drawing attention?" Migi said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Even with disguises and small groups, somebody is bound to notice us eventually."

"Actually, I think I already know where to start," I said as a smile crept onto my face.

 _And I just might have an idea about what happened to my missing glitter bomb._

If Sakura wasn't such an annoyingly stubborn twelve-year-old, I might've actually fallen in love with her. People ought to give her more credit, because the girl was fucking _brilliant._

"There, on the stand with the dango," I whispered to the others despite not-so-subtly pointing at the stand in question. "You see that? At the corner where the post meets the table?"

Although I wasn't sure if everybody else saw it, there was definitely a distinct patch of shimmering light that sparkled just beneath a sign that had prices listed on it.

"She used glitter to mark what path she took," Kakashi stated in disbelief. "It's not the most conventional medium, but it was clever of her to use something so specific. Nobody else but this team would think anything of it." Whether he admitted it or not, there was definitely some amount of pride behind his words.

Too bad not all my teammates were willing to be supportive.

"Told you I only used one," Sasuke muttered.

"I _swear_ to god Sasuke I will _end you_ -" I snapped, but shut my mouth when the jounin set his hand on my shoulder as a silent _don't you dare start this shit up again_ , which was fair. We were already transformed into generic civilians and squabbling would only draw unwanted attention.

I clicked my tongue instead and physically turned my body away from the other genin.

 _I'll get you next time, Bastard._

"We should spread out and look for any more glitter, then," Furumi said. I interpreted the slight hesitation in their voice to be taken as _I can't believe I'm actually using glitter to track someone down._

 _Welcome to the future of ninja-ing!_

"Keep an eye out for any other patterns," Kakashi said. "If she thought far ahead enough to leave us a trail, then it's possible that she marked certain things in particular so it would be easier for us to find them." After receiving acknowledgement from us, he continued. "Make sure to stay within each other's sights, and don't do anything that would make you stick out, like arguing," he said pointedly, giving me and Sasuke a stern look.

We nodded, but that didn't necessarily mean we were going to cooperate, either. Not that we really had to talk much, since all we had to do was keep our eyes peeled for anything sparkling in broad daylight and only communicate once we actually found something.

It was five minutes later when I finally found something worth mentioning to my bratty teammate, but I decided to confirm that it was what I thought it was, just in case I was wrong and he decided to hold it against me.

Casually, I slipped away from the bookstore Sasuke was examining and headed one unit over to the pottery shop. Sure enough, there was a cup with a touch of glitter along the base. I picked it up and pretended to examine it while wiping off the glitter as much as I could.

"You've got quite an eye there," a gruff voice said, startling me into looking up. "Haha~ Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Are you looking for anything specific?"

For a moment, could only stare at the man as I tried to find my words. Half his face was bandaged, and I was almost certain he was missing an arm. It was hard to tell from how baggy his yukata was, though.

"Uh, no, not really," I finally answered, setting the cup back down. "Everything's super nice, though! Did you make 'em?"

The man grinned proudly and nodded. "A little hard work goes a long way!"

"Look like more than a little went into these," I commented, admiring the detail in some of the finer pieces.

"Aw, you flatter me," he laughed, scratching the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Before he could say more, there was a knock coming from the back of the store that cut our smalltalk short. "Oh, I've gotta go get that. Take your time and look around!"

I nodded absently, waiting until he was out of sight before doing my best Generic Civilian impression. "Ne, Suki! Come look at this stuff, it's so cool!" I shouted, waving towards Sasuke with a bright grin.

He immediately shuffled over with a frown that was absolutely his, even through the transformation. "You're supposed to keep a low profile," he hissed.

"People call each other over from across the street all the time," I hissed back. "More importantly, look," I said, showing him my glittered hand. "We're on the right track."

"Dango and pottery," Sasuke murmured to himself.

"You think of something?"

He paused, but eventually shook his head and grabbed my arm. "Nothing. Let's go."

"Y'know, we might get this figured a lot faster if we worked togetHER-!" I yelped as Sasuke literally pulled me along with him to the next shop. We walked for a bit until he stopped to inconspicuously examine the first jacket hanging on a rack. "Clothes?"

"My old one is ripped," he answered nonchalantly. It took me a second to remember that we were in disguise and that he was just playing his role.

While Sasuke sifted through the items on display at the front of the store, I kept an eye out for the shopkeeper, just in case. It took me a while to spot her because she was hidden behind a rack of clothes. At first I thought she was really short, but then she wheeled herself into view and I saw that she was missing both her legs.

 _Are missing limbs a trend on this street or what?_

"Welcome!" she greeted with a bright smile as she set her hands on her lap and bowed in her seat. "Can I help you find anything today?"

"We're just browsing, thanks," I answered smoothly, eyes flickering towards Sasuke. "Find anything you like?"

"Not really," he answered, although the look in his eyes said otherwise.

"Aw, that's too bad," the shopkeeper commented. "Come back again!"

I smiled and waved goodbye as Sasuke led us to our next destination. He was definitely on to something, but I was more interested in why every employee we came across seemed to have some sort of disability: a blind florist, a blacksmith missing a couple of fingers and a foot, a deaf pastry chef - not everybody had a disability, or at least not a visible one, but there was definitely a higher concentration of disabled workers on this street, that was for sure.

 _Maybe this has something to do with that program Takara's mom started?_

Sasuke mentioned how the program was for former shinobi, and I imagine career-ending injuries are common in this line of work. If that were the case, it'd explain why they were all in one area, too.

 _Looks like her mom did some solid work._

Which was all the more reason for us to hurry up and find Sakura and Takara so we could take down the bitch of a politician who was trying to fuck with the honest and good thing her mother had created.

And I guess her uncle, but nobody cares about him, so.

I spent the next several minutes following Sasuke down the streets of the capital because he clearly found _some_ kinda pattern that told him where the next trace of glitter would be. There were a lot of misses at the beginning, but the more traces we got, the more accurate he became at locating the next one, and since he naturally couldn't be assed to explain it to me, I had no choice but to follow him around like a lost puppy.

He eventually stopped us once we started approaching the crop fields and farmhouses.

Now that we were in an area that was basically empty, we regrouped with Kakashi and the nukenin - actually, was it still appropriate to refer to them as nukenin? Maybe it'd be more accurate to refer to them as veterans - to search for Sakura's exact hiding spot together.

"This is where the path leads?" Migi asked, voice low and cautious. Kakashi nodded, and the veterans both sighed. "We should hurry. If this is where your teammate is hiding, then people you don't want finding them will come sooner or later. Many of these buildings are used to store the opium."

"Well, that sucks," I said for lack of better things to say. There still had to be some way to narrow down her location. Sasuke had definitely noticed something earlier, so I decided to bug him because clearly he wasn't planning on telling me on his own. "So...any idea where Sakura-chan might be? 'Cause I'm pretty convinced you had some system that helped you find those traces back in town. Maybe there's some way to figure out where exactly she's hiding instead of inspecting every building for a pinch of glitter."

Even if she did leave something, it would be hard to say if she made it easy or hard to find, since any trace she left could potentially be found by passersby as well, depending on how she left the mark.

"Tch, you're either clueless or you're not. Make up your mind," Sasuke muttered.

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

 _Seriously, what the hell was that supposed to mean?_

He provided no explanation and instead rolled his eyes while stuffing his hands in his pockets. "It means you're an idiot who can't even recognize a basic word pattern."

"Then tell me, asshole!" I demanded, whacking his arm.

"It'd be a waste of time," he grumbled impatiently. "There aren't any more traces, anyway."

I glowered. How was it that it felt easier to get the morally conflicted assassins to tell us who sent them than getting my own teammate to tell me something that would benefit us both?

Kakashi sighed and looked at us with a tired one-eyed smile. "Sasuke, it would help if everybody knew what to look for. Even if there aren't any more traces, it's possible that knowing the pattern could give an idea of where Sakura is hiding."

 _So get over yourself and explain what the hell you noticed to your teammate,_ I finished silently. Not that I was clueless in general, but about that particular matter? Yes, very much so.

"I was under the impression they both knew," I heard Furumi whisper to Migi.

 _Ha!_ I bit back a laugh. _C'mon, have you_ seen _our team? As_ if _he'd actually help me._

Sasuke conceded with a bitter sigh and stopped in his tracks. "Fine, but I'm only explaining it once, so pay attention."

"Yessir," I drawled sarcastically.

I heard the faint sound of an annoyed grunt, but he said nothing and instead picked up a twig so he could write in the dirt. I loomed over his shoulder to see what he was writing.

"She picked each location with a specific word in mind," he said as he wrote down the places where we found traces of glitter in a column.

 _Dango stall, pottery shop, clothing store, weapons shop, bakery, sukiyaki restaurant, produce shop._

In a second column, he wrote a list of words associated with each location.

 _Dango, overglaze enamels, outerwear, weapons, dessert, sukiyaki, fruit._

I blinked at the words, my eyes widening as I literally only _just_ realized that all this time, I'd been speaking, reading, and writing in _Japanese._ Multilingualism was weird that way, especially when you have two sets of memories with a different Point A but the same Point B, although mostly it was a lot like how I never noticed how the night sky was different until consciously choosing to because Protagonist's memories subconsciously normalized a bunch of things.

 _I've definitely been thinking in English this entire time, though, which is… which just makes everything that much weirder, actually._

It also made me wonder if other countries used different languages because if so, maybe I'd hear snippets of Mandarin-Chinese or Shanghainese-Chinese somewhere, or even French, although I wasn't expecting this world's language diversity to diverge too far from East Asian or even Southeast Asian ones, let alone anything _outside_ of Asia.

Now that I was consciously aware of what language I was using, I stopped myself from automatically translating everything in my head and focused on the kana.

 _Dango, iroe, joui, buki, dezaato, sukiyaki, ka._

"She used the first character of every word to create a message," Sasuke continued, and when he underlined the appropriate kana, a message was formed.

 _DA I JOU BU DE SU KA_

I blinked, standing up straight as I crossed my arms. "So, like, Sakura-chan is kinda awesome," I said with utmost confidence.

"She's definitely clever," Migi agreed. "It's one thing to use something uniquely associated with her team-" _damn straight_ "-but another to include a pattern in order to facilitate the task of finding the trail."

"I'm pretty sure there was one at the guardpost, though," I said thoughtfully. Although I wasn't sure, the possibly-imagined shimmering gave me the idea to look for glitter in the first place and helped me find the one on the dango stand.

"It's possible," Kakashi nodded as he started walking. The rest of us followed suit. "She could've put a mark there as a sign that she left a trail in the first place, then went on to include a message."

Despite his lackluster response, the glint in his eye told me he was impressed - maybe even proud.

"Now if only she left us some way to figure out where exactly she's hiding," I sighed, looking at the dozen or so buildings that were closest to us and the many more that were further away. It was a little ways in the distance where one particular barn caught my eye. I tilted my head thoughtfully and squinted. "Hey, isn't that my-"

But before I could finish, there was a scream - a kind of weird scream? - and all our heads turned towards the barn I was looking at. Kakashi was the first to make a break for it towards the source, but the rest of us were no more than a step behind him.

"It came from that one," Furumi said, pointing to an old barn next to a wooden farmhouse.

"That's the barn we use to store the opium from Konoha," Migi added. "Someone's already inside!"

"What if it's a false alarm?" Sasuke asked, even though he was already running.

"It's not," I reassured, pointing at a red cloth hanging on the clothesline outside the farmhouse next door. "See? Sakura hung my shawl outside. She's so cool - she thinks of everything!" I grinned.

Kakashi didn't even need to think before barking orders. "Sasuke, go around the back. Furumi and Migi, flank the building. Satoko, stay with me."

While I pushed to keep up with Kakashi's steadily increasing speed, the other three split off so they could get into position.

"Draw your weapons, Satoko," the jounin said, voice low. "We're not giving them a chance to talk this time."

I tensed, but did as I was told. For all I knew they already had Sakura and Takara tied up for an execution. We rushed into the barn and, with that in mind, I slammed my heel into the first person that didn't have pink hair.

Turns out that was a mistake.

" _OW_ \- what the-" there was a loud gasp, and then, "Satoko?!"

I dropped my fighting stance upon hearing my name and immediately dropped my weapons once I saw who it was.

"OH MY GOD SADAME-SAN I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO-!" I practically sobbed, crouching down to help the poor woman back onto her feet.

"It's alright. It doesn't hurt much, and it was mostly just a graze," she reassured, despite the fact that she was rubbing her jaw.

"Oh, thank god my aim still sucks."

Kakashi gave me a look.

"But if it were anybody else I woulda knocked 'em out cold," I quickly added, but was still more worried about whether or not I'd dislocated her jaw than whether or not Kakashi was going to drill us into the ground with taijutsu training after the mission.

Any sort of kick, no matter how weak or poorly aimed, was sure to hurt nevertheless.

"No need to fuss. The worst she'll get is a bruise," Tomi said.

Once it was confirmed that Sadame would be okay, I promptly shoved Kakashi a full two inches to the side, which was pretty impressive considering the difference in our size and weight.

"This is what happens when you attack first and ask questions later!" I snapped, adding a complimentary whack on the arm.

"You're supposed to be on alert and confirm the target before you attack," he countered, gently pushing me away so I'd stop hitting him.

"It's true," Tomi nodded. "He didn't kick anybody in the face."

"Well it was dark and you were talking like Sakura-chan was already dead!"

"I'm not dead!" the voice of our missing teammate suddenly snapped, appearing from the back of the barn while rolling up a spool of wire.

"Sakura-chan!" I exclaimed. "We got your message! We're okay!"

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "I'm glad you guys found us." She then eyed me and quirked her brow. "Didn't you see your shawl?"

"Oh, yeah! But then we heard the scream and rushed over. I'll pick it up on the way out," I said, nodding towards the door. "More importantly, you're incredible, Sakura-chan! I can't believe you were walking on water, and you left us a secret message, and-"

"Are you okay, Sakura?" Kakashi interrupted casually.

I shut my mouth and let up as he approached Sakura to check for wounds or missing limbs or whatever else a jounin looks for in the student he got separated from for almost a day after getting attacked by assassins.

"Uh, yeah! A little tired, but I'm feeling pretty good," she grinned, pocketing her wire, then gasped. "What, is there something on my face?"

Even though I could only see his back, I could sense the way Kakashi smiled.

"No, you're fine." He eased into his signature slouch and patted her head. "You did well, Sakura. Good work."

Being the teacher's pet she absolutely is, Sakura blushed at our sensei's praise and nodded. She then snapped her head up as though she'd made a dreadful realization and gasped. "W-Wait, where's Sasuke-kun? I thought you said you were all okay!"

 _Just when I think she's alright, she just blows it outta the water._

"He's not dead either," I said before she got any weird ideas."Unfortunately."

Kakashi flicked my head, because of course he heard that.

"I'm here," answered his grumpy voice. We all turned to face him and paused, ignoring Hanjou standing next to him in favour of the girl he was carrying bridal style. His cheeks flushed red and he snapped his head away.

"I, um," Takara started rather nervously, "sprained my ankle when I fell."

I saw the spark of jealousy in Sakura's eye, but she must've decided that between fighting for Sasuke's attention in front of the people she still knew as our clients and making sure the girl she just went to hell and back for was alright, the latter was more important.

 _That's one small step for Sakura, one giant leap for Team 7._

"What happened, Takara-san?" she asked, rushing over as Sasuke carefully set Takara down on her good leg. "Didn't you land on the straw?"

"I meant to- I mean, I did, but," she winced, leaning on Sakura for support a little more than what I thought was necessary, "the scream startled me and I ended up falling off the ledge. I knocked over all the hay when I landed on it."

Sakura sighed in relief. "Well, it's good that your injuries weren't any worse." She paused. "Actually, it would've been troubling if you actually did manage to run away, considering who it was at the door," she said, laughing meekly.

"What was that scream about, anyway?" I asked. "It was loud enough to get our attention from like, halfway across the field."

There was a weird silence before finally, someone confessed.

"That...would've been me," Sadame said quietly, raising her hand just barely above her shoulder. "Sakura-chan set some traps, so when we opened the door, at least a dozen kunai and shuriken flew right at us. It...startled me."

 _Geez, she must be_ really _out of practice if that's all it took to scare her_ , I thought. Not that I wouldn't have freaked out myself, but I wasn't the veteran shinobi here.

"It's a good thing we have pretty good reflexes, otherwise we would've been in trouble," Tomi laughed, reaching up so she could throw her arm around Sadame's shoulders. "Anyway, everything was fine once we realized who was in the barn and vice versa. Hanjou went around back to get Takara, since Sakura-chan said she told her to escape through the back if anybody showed up. That's when you lot came in!"

That still didn't answer one question, though.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" Kakashi asked, and the weird silence came back.

"Well, hay is for horses, and Tsumi-chan is due for a good rest," Tomi said with a grin.

When he didn't make any notable response, her smile slowly faded.

Her story would've been fine if it weren't for the fact that Kakashi, Sasuke, and I all knew who Sadame and Tomi were, or at least weren't, what their "goods" really were, and what the barn really was. Although all their actions pointed to trying to save Takara, we still had no idea whether or not they had an ulterior motive beyond that. For all we knew, their plan could still include turning against us.

I held my breath, suddenly very aware of where everybody was standing.

Sasuke, Sakura, Takara, and Hanjou were by the entrance, with Takara still leaning on Sakura for support. From where I was standing, they were on my right. In front of me was Sadame and Tomi, and behind them was the wagon and Four-Legged Devilspawn. Kakashi was on my left, but slightly in front and closer to Tomi. He didn't give any signals, but from the way his body was tense and his back was straight, I knew what was coming next.

The tension pooled over and everybody moved at once.

In an instant, weapons were drawn and at each other's necks - Sasuke's to Hanjou's, Hanjou's to Sakura's, mine and Kakashi's to Sadame's, Tomi's to Kakashi's, Kakashi's _other_ to Tomi's, and Sadame to mine. What I didn't expect, but I'm sure Kakashi did, was the two extra weapons drawn against Hanjou and Tsumi.

 _Wait, why the horse?_

I didn't have a chance to ask, however, because Sadame was the first one to speak up, staring right at the person I knew as Furumi.

"Miyako?!"

"Sadame."

"Tadashi...!"

"Tomi."

Silence.

Then, Kakashi.

"We have no reason to attack you, but we have no reason to trust you, either," he said carefully. The glare he had focused on Sadame didn't lighten up even the slightest bit, "so it would be wise to explain yourselves. You should know that these two have already given us a detailed account of what's really going on."

 _So you really shouldn't lie,_ went unsaid.

It was obvious that Sadame and Tomi recognized our new allies, which should've told them a lot. Namely, that we knew about Sagi and that they were part of her program, which automatically cast them under suspicion, including Hanjou by association.

There was beat and a breath, and then the three of them lowered their weapons. The rest of us followed suit, and although the tension didn't go away, it definitely faded a little.

"You can start by admitting what you were really doing here," Furumi - or rather, Miyako - said. Even though we already knew, I guessed it was probably some kind of strategy to see if they really would be willing to talk or not.

Thankfully, because I didn't think I could handle it if things got any more complicated, Hanjou complied. "I get the feeling you already know the answer to that question, but no matter. Although we did have some actual wares and spices in our wagon, most of it was opium approved for delivery by the capital and Konoha. We came here to drop it off."

I looked around. "I don't see any opium, though. This place just looks like an old barn to me."

"That's because we store them in wheat bags," she said, nodding to a pile of said bags stacked against a wall. "Even though the opium is legal, we disguise it so other people don't try and steal it."

I briefly contemplated how common drugs were used as a recreational activity, or if it was common for people to become addicts. Apparently common enough, if precautions had to be taken so that they wouldn't get stolen. And if creating a drug cartel was profitable enough to kill a bunch of people to make it happen.

"I must confess something!" Takara announced out of the blue. We all looked towards her expectantly. "I...I knew about the opium."

I blinked.

"I-I mean, I'm sure you all must have figured out by now that I knew about how our mission request was inaccurate," she blabbered, definitely out of nervousness, "but I knew that the wagon was carrying opium because I already knew Sadame and Tomi from before, as they were part of my mother's program, and was informed that Hanjou-san would be helping me as well, for which I am thankful."

It didn't sound like she knew about what the program had _become_ , though, but now probably wasn't the best time to drop that bomb. Maybe after we confirmed that the caravan was actually on our side and not waiting for their chance to throw shit at the fan.

She then bowed as much as she could with one arm still slung around Sakura's shoulders. "I'm sorry for deceiving you."

My teammates and I exchanged looks before I spoke for all of us.

"S'cool, man."

They probably shouldn't let me speak for all of us.

Despite my phrasing, Takara snapped her head up with a relieved smile.

"We still need an explanation from you about what your intentions are, however" Kakashi said, reminding everybody that nobody was out in the clear just yet.

"And we plan on doing just that," Hanjou said, her expression showing full well that she planned on honouring her words, "although I expect one from you, as well," she said, staring pointedly at our new allies.

Kakashi shrugged. "We'll see how it goes."

Hanjou scoffed, but said nothing of it. "We need to change locations. As I said earlier, this barn is used to store the legal opium, which means we're not the only ones who frequent it. Providing all the details will take some time, so it would be best for us to go to a safehouse."

"That would be best," Kakashi agreed. "I'm assuming you have one in mind?"

"Yes, back in the city."

"I'll join you in the front, then," he said, and since it went without saying, he wordlessly reverted back into his Generic Civilian disguise.

"The rest of us will have to hide within the cargo in the back," Tomi said, opening up the flap. "Box or bag?"

"Gee, they both sound so appealing," I drawled, looking at the piles of crates and sacks. "Can't we just transform?"

"The road is bumpy, so it'd be a lot of trouble if your transformations got dispelled along the way," Sadame said.

"Are those boxes even empty?" Sakura asked.

"Mostly. The rest is just personal gear," Tomi answered smoothly.

"Oh, speaking of personal gear, I gotta get my shawl," I said, already rushing out the door. After yanking it off the clothesline and ignoring the undergarments that fell with it, I sprinted back, shawl in hand. By then, everybody was loaded except for my team and Takara. I slowed to a walk and tilted my head. "What's up?"

"Since you four are the smallest and lightest, you'll hide in the crates in pairs," Kakashi said.

My face dropped. "Awesome."

And since Takara was most comfortable with Sakura, that of course meant that I got stuffed into a box with Jerkface McLoserton.

It was big enough to fit us and our bags, but only if we bent our legs. If it wasn't stuffy already, then it certainly was once the lid was closed on us. We probably would've gotten into another spat if it weren't for the fact that we were trying to sneak across the city so we could avoid detection by a scary political figure who could have eyes and ears anywhere at any time. So, at least there was that.

Instead, we sat in silence, with only the faintest streams of light peeking through the holes in the crate, and that was already filtered from the cover around the wagon itself.

Once we started moving, however, a sudden feeling of dread overcame me and I had to warn my teammate before my fears came true.

"Sasuke," I whispered urgently. "You better not fart."

* * *

 **After credit scene** : Nothing, they're just sitting in a crate and it's very uncomfortable :/

 **Author's Note** : Hey if you're interested in writers yelling about the writing process or would like to see the occasional artist renditions of people places and things, check out my tumblr youridiotwriter where I sometimes post these kinds of things :D


	17. Faces Old as Thine

**Summary** : Sadame tells a tale of good intentions and the gang regroups with familiar faces - some too familiar to be true.

* * *

We were on route for quite a while, which was incredibly boring and uncomfortable since we couldn't risk making small talk. It'd be stupid if we went through all the trouble of stuffing ourselves into bags and boxes, only to get discovered just because I _really_ wanted to ask Takara what my teammates were like when tripping balls.

 _I'll get that story out of them someday if it's the last thing I do._

The wagon stopped in what I'd later learn was a side street that ran parallel to the main road, where we were then unloaded by Kakashi and Hanjou. We were carried a short distance and down what felt like a flight of stairs, where I ended up getting tipped onto Sasuke for a moment of greater discomfort. We were set down and waited until Kakashi gave us the audible okay to get out.

"Man, Sasuke totally farted-whoa!" The moment I stood up, I ended up toppling against Sasuke from a combination of head rush and numb legs, which knocked us onto the crate and sent us both crashing into the ground. "Um, _ow._ "

"Idiot," Sasuke hissed, shoving me off with a grunt. "And I didn't fart!"

I resisted the urge to snort. _God bless the maturity of a twelve-year-old._

"Sasuke-kun! Are you okay?" Sakura cried, having escaped from her wooden confines as well. She rushed over and, of course, only checked up on her unrequited love. "And...And Satoko! You have to be more careful! Did you hit your head?"

 _Oooor not?_

I vaguely recalled the harsh scolding Kakashi had given us after we failed the bell test - something about disregarding people she isn't interested in and how she doesn't get to decide who was worth saving.

 _Oh yeah, I guess that'd make a difference in her behaviour, huh._

Aside from the fact that it was blatantly obvious that she had to force herself to ask if I was okay, it was definitely better than nothing.

 _Baby steps._

"I'm good! Just a little creaky," I replied while stretching out my arms and legs while finally taking a moment to look around. "Oh, whoa."

I wasn't expecting much out of a safe house - a room with a table and a few chairs, at most, but instead I was visually assaulted by pottery.

Just...a fuckload of pottery.

"Holy shit," I whispered to myself for a number of reasons, but for now, it was only because of the sheer amount of _everything._

"It's a little messier than I remember," Tomi murmured.

"As if that's even possible," Hanjou laughed.

I scanned the room as she led us towards a rectangular table where Takara, Sadame, Tomi, and Miyako had taken up the available seats. Tadashi stood by her, and Kakashi made himself comfortable against the wall between the entrance and a shelf loaded with dishware. My teammates and I joined him, with me standing closest to the jounin while Sasuke was the farthest.

Piles upon piles of cups, bowls, vases, and plates arranged in organised chaos along the shelves took up any space on the wall that wasn't a door. One corner was infested with broken creations while another had a stack of pottery wheels and woven baskets loaded with carving tools.

 _Link would be in heaven._

Not that I encouraged breaking into a stranger's house and smashing their pots for money.

Despite the clutter, I couldn't say that the basement was messy. Although it was overflowing with pottery, it was obvious that the actual work was done somewhere else because the air wasn't overly dusty. All the creations were well-kept and there was definitely some sort of system to how they were organized. It just looked messy at first because there was _so much stuff._

Even doors. What kind of basement had four doors? Granted, one of them was at the top of a staircase, but two of them were across from the entrance, which probably meant they led into separate rooms, and it'd already been established that at least one of them led outdoors. What kind of basement leads outside?

 _The kind that doubles as a safe house, apparently._

"Wait a second…" Sakura said, carefully inspecting a row of bowls on the shelf next to us. "This place...does it happen to be a pottery shop owned by a man with one arm?"

My interest piqued, I took a closer look at the pottery and realized that the style _was_ pretty familiar, and as big as the capital was, I doubted there were any other one-armed potters.

"Do you two recognize this place as well?" Tadashi asked, addressing me and Sasuke.

We nodded. "It was one of the locations Sakura marked," Sasuke explained.

"You were searching other parts of the street so you probably didn't realize this was one of 'em," I added.

"But how can you tell that it's the same?" he asked, still perplexed. "It's not like there's only one pottery shop in the entire capital."

I shrugged, glancing at the dishware in Sakura's hands. "It's a very distinctive bowl."

Tadashi crossed his arms, his brow furrowed. "Well, I suppose that's true. More importantly, I'd like to know where this potter is. It's rather rude for a host to not welcome their guests."

"He's busy at the moment," Hanjou explained with a smile, "but I assure you, he's trustworthy. He's been a friend of ours for a while now. We help sell his work around the country."

"So...you guys _are_ merchants?" I asked, still unsure of what to make of them.

"That's what our contract says," Tomi grinned.

"If we're all settled," Kakashi said in a louder voice than usual, staring at the caravan members, "I'd like that explanation about what you three are trying to accomplish, if you will."

"Yes, of course," Hanjou replied, folding one hand over the other on the table. "There is...a lot to explain, however, and Takara…"

Our client looked up at her name, her expression saying that she was expecting the worst.

"It's about Uncle Kanjaku, isn't it?" she asked quietly, and Hanjou nodded. Takara breathed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "It's okay. Whatever it is, I would like to know the truth, even if… Even if it means he tried to kill me."

Everybody in the room exchanged wary glances. Unsure of what to make of it myself, I tugged at Kakashi's sleeve to get him to lean down while I stood up on my toes so I could reach his ear. Being less than five feet sucked.

"Yo, is this a good idea?" I whispered, cupping my hand. "I mean, she's already lost her mom. Revealing her uncle to be a huge cowardly dick who didn't try to stop her assassination doesn't seem like a good move, especially if she still wants to trust him."

Kakashi pocketed his hands and hummed. "Do you think it's okay for her to continue trusting him?"

"Uh," I answered cluelessly, because I could think of a million pros and cons for both answers and had no idea which one was better.

"I don't know exactly how much of this is his fault," Sakura said, "but after all that's happened, I think she deserves to know everything."

"I agree," Sasuke said, much to my surprise. But then, not to my surprise, he said, "Kanjaku betrayed her, so she should be given the chance to decide what to do about it."

 _Revenge towards the family member who tried to kill you. Shoulda seen that one coming._

I blinked, looking between my teammate and our client, whose steeled nerves seemed to be dying away by the second (no thanks to our secretive whispering, I'm sure). It just seemed unfair to suddenly drop another bomb on her like that, but what else could we do?

"I guess if we don't tell her now, she'll probably find out some day, which would only be worse," I concluded.

"Then it's settled," Kakashi said, although the way he said it definitely sounded like he was already planning on telling Takara the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and not because he agreed with our arguments.

My team broke away from the huddle that had naturally formed during our whispering and faced Takara once more.

"Start from the beginning," the jounin said to the caravan. "I'd like to hear how exactly the three of you are involved and to make sure that we're all on the same page, instead of making assumptions."

"Of course," Sadame nodded, and so she began.

 _In order to understand our actions, it should be known that Tomi and I became acquainted with Ryoukuna and Kanjaku about twelve years ago, when we first moved to the capital. Kanjaku was the one who brought us to his sister for help with housing arrangements and various documentations, such as ensuring that we received our health care, and other such matters. She helped us a great deal._

 _When they began to make plans for the program, we were the first to know, and when it first opened eight years ago, we were two of the first group of discharged shinobi who qualified for the program._

"How about gardening?" Tomi suggested, tapping at the sheet of paper on Ryoukuna's desk. "I love being outdoors! Sadame, you like flowers, right?"

"I do, but...I was thinking something more administrative," I replied. "Something that doesn't involve physical exertion for extended periods of time is best for me, after all."

"Ah, that's right," Tomi murmured apologetically. "Any ideas, Ryou-chan?"

"What did I say about calling me that," she sighed, sharp eyes flicking up at Tomi briefly before scanning the list of employment options again. "I recommend merchantry. Travelling between villages allows for plenty of time outdoors and you would have a wagon, so the only physical labour would be loading and unloading cargo."

Tomi and I exchanged glances, a entire conversation taking place within a split second and without a sound. I looked back at Ryoukuna with a smile.

"That sounds perfect."

 _We met Hanjou shortly after that, as she was also one of the first to receive aid from the program. The three of us worked together in transporting merchandise to and from the capital, as well as selling local goods elsewhere._

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. Please take care of me," Hanjou said with a deep bow, which we returned in kind. Once we straightened up, she pet the horse that was with her. "This is Tsumi. She's been a dear friend of mine for several years now, so please take care of her as well."

"Of course," I said, flashing the horse a smile. She snorted and shook her head, which I took as a greeting.

"There's no reason to be so formal if we're going to work together," Tomi grinned.

"A valid point," the shorter woman replied, "but I do believe that making a good first impression goes a long way."

"For what it's worth, I think we'll get along just fine," I said.

 _All was well for about five years, up until Ryoukuna's funds were finally starting to run out. The program was sustained by small investors who received products created or obtained by the program's members, but there wasn't enough profit. Eventually, they couldn't afford to support our growing numbers. Ryoukuna began to disagree with her brother on how they should spend their remaining funds._

"They've been arguing for a while," I murmured, glancing at Ryoukuna's office door.

"Can you hear what they're saying?" Tomi asked, struggling to catch a word, even with her good ear.

I pressed myself against the wall and closed my eyes. Someone was pacing while another was moving paper around. There was a lot of white noise to filter through, but the two people inside were speaking well above it.

"We can't _afford_ to provide both anymore," Ryoukuna said, voice loud and firm. "We need to pour all our funds into providing more jobs. With more work comes better returns, which brings in more investors. This is how our program sustains itself, Kanjaku!"

"And if you take away their medication? What then?" he demanded with just as much force. "They can't work if they are suffering! We already know that they can't afford medication on their own - that's why we started this program in the first place!"

"Numbers are what they look at," Ryoukuna countered, her voice lowering into the tone she used when she decided that the topic was not open for discussion, "and as for right now, our numbers are far too low for Daimyou-sama to see our program as an appropriate use of resources. Wasting all our money on pills will not save this program!"

"It's not a waste!" Kanjaku shouted back so loudly that I flinched away from the door. The only time I ever heard him get so loud and confrontational was towards his sister. "You know as much as I do that none of this is a waste of- of anything!"

Silence fell upon the room. I held my breath, unsure of whether they were speaking quietly or had ceased their conversation altogether.

"I understand your concerns, Ryoukuna, but you must understand mine in turn," Kanjaku said, much calmer than before. A chair scraped against the floor as he spoke. "If they aren't suffering from chronic pains, then it's tremors, and if not tremors, then it's some sort of chakra virus! How do you expect them to work if they have no way of managing any of it?"

There was a heavy sigh, followed by the sound of another chair scraping the floor.

"I used my private funds to start the program, but they can only last for so long," Ryoukuna murmured. "The program is currently only supporting thirteen people because that's all we can afford to support at this time. We need more jobs so we can employ more discharged shinobi, which would in turn make the program appear much more promising to more investors - _bigger_ investors. We need to make this program look worthwhile so we can continue to sustain it, otherwise we'll have to cut people out of the program or shut it down altogether."

"You know we can't do that," Kanjaku replied gravely. "We wanted to help these shinobi - to give them what the village cannot! They deserve this. We can't take that away from them."

"I know," Ryoukuna answered. I could hear the way her jaw was clenched - I could picture her darkened expression perfectly. "I _know,_ but we're running out of options."

Although their frustration was gone, it was replaced with a feeling of dread.

 _It didn't take very long for Sagi to catch wind of the program's struggles and offer a hand. Ryoukuna was unsure; although Sagi had the reputation and influence necessary to help the program flourish, she was hesitant to give an outsider any power. She and Kanjaku had both worked hard to make the program into what it was._

 _However, anybody else who came even remotely close to Sagi's qualifications had no interest in putting their resources into a program that only returned enough profit to sustain itself and nothing more. Of course, Ryoukuna's reservations were reasonable, but at the time, the decision to work with Sagi was a calculated risk that she was willing to take._

"Thank you for agreeing to see me," Ryoukuna said as she took her seat across from Sagi.

"Are you sure you want Saa-chan here for this?" Sagi asked, eyeing me with piqued curiosity. "It might be a little uncomfortable for her, considering our topic of discussion."

"I'm quite sure," Ryoukuna replied. "Sadame-san will be acting as our witness."

I nodded, keeping my posture straight and expression blank, taking great care not to give Sagi any means of reading me.

She hummed, giving me a final glance before flashing a cheerful smile at Ryoukuna. "Alrighty then! Let's see what I can do to help."

 _Sagi hardly seems like the type to be so heavily involved in the workings of the capital just by looking at her, but her status wasn't achieved through mere luck. She has a peculiar charm about her - a natural charisma that lures people towards her._

 _Despite her position of power, she's very friendly and approachable, and already has an incredibly positive history with the capital; I don't know the details, but I've heard on numerous occasions that she helped deal with the chaos that followed the coup attempted by the Twelve Guardian Ninja. Simply put, the Daimyou and the people all think highly of her, and without a doubt are willing to put their faith in her._

 _This reputation is what got us more funding. Sagi used that to her advantage and argued that since her involvement is what saved the program, she should have a say in how the money is spent. In the end, most of it went into supplying medication._

"I still can't agree with your decision," Ryoukuna said without reserve, looking Sagi right in the eye. She was getting frustrated, I could tell. "Investors put their money into this program and receive the fruits of the shinobi's labour in return. Employment is the way to keep the program open."

"Well," Sagi murmured, glancing aside, "I'd hate to have them working while suffering from chronic pains. Hasn't your brother mentioned something similar?"

Ryoukuna frowned. "Yes, but that doesn't mean-"

"If we can't reach an agreement," Sagi interrupted with a slight pout, "then I'm afraid I'll have to start looking into other things to put my money in, and I really don't want to do that. I can't offer help you're not willing to accept, after all, and as much as I'd like to, I can't fund something that I don't think will last with its current arrangement."

I glanced at Ryoukuna, knowing that she would love to cease her partnership with Sagi, but not at the risk of shutting down the program.

She met my gaze. All I needed to do was blink once, slowly, and she knew what I had to say.

Ryoukuna closed her eyes and sighed, regaining her patience. "There will be no need for that. I would simply like to know with certainty that this program will prove to be successful if I am to heed Kanjaku's words."

"I understand," Sagi said with a reassuring smile. "Just let me make a few small changes, I promise you'll start seeing the results in no time."

"Only if both Kanjaku and I approve," Ryoukuna said pointedly, eyes flickering down at the contract sitting between them. "Although we've agreed to sell you a fraction of our shares, let me remind you that all your proposed changes and ideas must be brought to both of us, first."

 _As per the contract, any changes, deals, or other such things Sagi wanted to make were brought to Ryoukuna and Kanjaku, first. The results of these changes were made clear by the end of the year. It started with everybody receiving larger amounts of medication and evolved from there._

 _Everything became sustainable and even improved, just like Sagi had said they would. After appealing to new, bigger investors, the program could afford to provide everyone with the employment and medication they needed. We could afford to accept more members, too, bringing us up to a couple hundred or so. She'd nearly doubled everything in her first year alone._

 _Something changed during her second year, however, and not for the better. Hanjou was the first to find out, but by then, we were already too late._

"I don't trust Furyoku," Hanjou said bluntly before taking a sip of her tea. "I don't think the two of you nor Ryoukuna and Kanjaku should, either."

We'd met at Hanjou's apartment upon her request since she said she had something to discuss, but never did we even imagine what it was that she had to say.

"What did she do?" I asked hesitantly.

"One of the other members approached me with...an offer," she said, frowning at the word. "Due to my excessive medical care, they thought I might benefit from the extra work that Sagi has been offering to a select few as of late."

"What kind of work?" I asked. Not that I didn't trust her, but Hanjou often made mountains out of molehills, and Sagi just wasn't the sort to make offers that warranted such a reaction.

"According to them, I would receive better payments if I expanded our routes into noncentral locations," she said, shaking her head. "Given the secrecy of it all and the variables involved, I suspect Furyoku has been using the program to trade illegally."

Tomi and I stared at her in silence, looking for any sign or hint that she was joking.

"Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?" I asked carefully.

Tomi looked just as wary and uncertain as I did. "She seems decent, as far as politicians go. There's no denying that she's done a lot of good for the capital and the country, and the program has been doing well ever since she got involved."

"I don't deny that," Hanjou murmured, "but I'm starting to wonder how the good was achieved, and at what cost."

I bit my lip. I didn't want to dismiss her, but I couldn't accept her claim without question, either. "If this is true and Sagi gets found out, the program would be shut down along with the operation. All the innocent members would lose their support. Not to mention, this could ruin Ryoukuna and Kanjaku's reputations."

"What are you trying to say?" Hanjou asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

I sighed. "It's just that, it would be easier to agree if you had some kind of evidence. It's hard to imagine that neither Kanjaku nor Ryoukuna would notice something like this happening within their own program, especially considering how any decisions Sagi makes have to be approved by them, first. They've both been receiving reports on the program's progress and have been kept updated all throughout the year. "

"I wouldn't lie about this," she retorted immediately and defensively.

"It's not that I don't believe you!" I said, gripping my cup a little too tight. "It's just...not something to be taken lightly. I certainly believe that there's _something_ going on, but we should confirm whether or not it's specifically a cartel, or even anything necessarily bad, before taking action."

"Assuming it _is_ true, how did it even start? And when?" Tomi asked. "And what about Kanjaku? Didn't Sagi support his stance on focusing on medicine? What if he's involved?"

The room fell silent once again as we all contemplated the idea.

"...No, he wouldn't," Hanjou finally said. "He wouldn't get involved in such a thing without telling one of us, especially his sister. We owe him just as much as Ryoukuna for making this program possible."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but just to be safe, we should avoid talking to him about this. Even if we trust him, there's no way of knowing if he might say or imply something to Sagi. He's...not the best at this sort of thing."

Kanjaku was a compassionate man, but subtle he was not.

"Okay, then let's just focus on Sagi," Tomi said. "She wouldn't be the first corrupt official I've dealt with, but you can't just decide to start trading drugs illegally and expect it to work out."

"I suspect that this was the very reason she offered to help the program in the first place," Hanjou said. "She saw what she could do with what already existed and intended to take advantage of it from the beginning. After all, it's not every program that gets supplied with opium on a bi-weekly basis." She sighed, anxiously fiddling with her earrings. "She was very insistent about being part of the decision-making process, after all, and she's been smart about it. The person who told me about the jobs tried appealing to me with greed. I imagine that's how she appealed to other members in the program to get the operation started."

I bit my lip, still uncertain and hesitant to fully go along with what Hanjou was saying. It was a bold claim to be making, especially when so much of it was circumstantial.

"Well, whether it was a misunderstanding or not, we have to look into this," Tomi finally said, stating the obvious. "It doesn't matter how much people love her - if she's a lying scumbag, she needs to go."

I nodded. "We need to at least tell Ryoukuna. No matter how good Sagi is at covering her tracks, there's bound to be something that doesn't add up."

"The two of you can do that," Hanjou said, taking us by surprise. "I'm leaving for Konoha at the end of the week."

If my cup wasn't already set on the table, I was sure I would have dropped it just then. "What do you mean?

"You're leaving?" Tomi repeated, as if just getting over her initial shock.

"Yes, and I suggest you both leave, too," Hanjou replied.

"But you just said Sagi might be trying to build a cartel!" Tomi exclaimed. "We have to do something about it! What if she tries to run Ryoukuna and Kanjak out of the program? We need to warn her and help her put a stop to this!"

"You don't need me for that," Hanjou said, her expression unpleasantly still. "I don't plan on staying any longer than necessary. At this point, there are only two outcomes - either Sagi's cartel is a success and she exploits the program and the people within, or she gets exposed and the program loses the funding that saved it. Either way, it shuts down, which means we should all start looking into other means of income."

"So you're just giving up?" I demanded.

She shook her head. "No, I'd just rather take my chances in Konoha. You two are welcome to join me, of course, but whether you do or not, I've made my decision."

For a moment, I simply stared at her, half expecting it to be a joke. I wasn't sure how to react, so instead I took a sip of my tea that had already gone cold and said nothing.

 _Just like she said, Hanjou left for Konoha that week. That alone would've told Ryoukuna that something wasn't right, but Tomi and I went to her nevertheless and repeated the concerns and suspicions Hanjou had shared before leaving._

 _She started looking into all the budget reports of the past year and, sure enough, found some discrepancies that made Sagi's deals look more and more questionable in nature. This prompted us to continue monitoring every single variable involved in the program - members, sales, contracts, investors, clients, and so on - for several months as we built up a case against her._

 _And since Ryoukuna now had eyes on Sagi, she started rejecting more and more proposals that came to her desk._

"Don't you think it's a risky to be this active?" Tomi asked worriedly. "She might realize that you're onto her."

"It's already been a year since she started planting her roots into the system," Ryoukuna said sternly. "That gives her plenty of time to gather a loyal following and establish strong partnerships with whoever her suppliers and clients are. Now that it's been brought to my attention, I have to do anything in my power to keep her cartel from growing even more than it already has. Whether it causes her alarm is no concern of mine - if she's really as clever and meticulous as she seems, she would have predicted that she would have to deal with me sooner or later."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't be wary of her," I cautioned. "Just be careful, okay? Don't antagonize her. She's one of the Daimyo's favourites, and her reputation is no joke."

Tomi nodded. "She could really throw you under the wagon if she wanted to."

Ryoukuna scoffed. "If I were not willing to take any risks for the sake of this program, I would have let it die before letting Sagi set foot in here. Now that that risk has proven to have severe consequences, however, I also have to be willing to clean up the mess myself." She arranged the several stray sheets of paper on her desk nonchalantly and set them aside.

"You're impossibly stubborn sometimes," I huffed, leaning back in my chair.

She glowered at me half-heartedly. "We may use different tools in our battles, but they all come with risks and are fought for sake of what we believe is right. If I'm not willing to go on the offense, I'd be but a coward undeserving of your support."

I exchanged looks with Tomi, and she spoke for both of us. "Just...be careful, and take precautions."

 _No amount of support could've prepared us for how Sagi reciprocated, however, although I imagine you are all familiar with what happened next._

 _It soon became clear that Ryoukuna took Tomi's warning to take precautions seriously, because when it came time to read out her will, we learned that it'd been changed so that all her legal property had been left to Takara. This change made it so Sagi had no way of accessing Ryoukuna's inheritance for her own gain. Unfortunately, it's also what made Takara her next target._

 _We first discovered this after noticing Kanjaku's odd behaviour. He started avoiding us shortly after Ryoukuna's passing. We thought it was because he needed space, at first, but after a week had gone by we knew that he was hiding something from us._

 _That something was the fact that Sagi was still after Ryoukuna's inheritance, and was willing to kill Takara for it._

"You can't just let her do as she pleases!" I yelled, resisting the urge to hit Kanjaku for being such a coward. "This is your niece's life in question! She doesn't deserve to be dragged into this mess!"

"I'm not the one who drew Sagi's attention to her!" he shouted back, chair scraping across the kitchen floor as he stood up. "Ryoukuna did that the moment she left everything to Takara in her will. What am I supposed to do about it?"

"We'll figure something out," I said through clenched teeth, appalled that those words even came out of his mouth. "We'll figure out a way to keep both you and Takara-chan safe, whether you intend to help or not."

Kanjaku flinched, his posture becoming more defensive. "You said so yourself, that I can't simply accuse her of these crimes," he said, lowering his voice. "What choice do I have other than to comply?"

"As much as I hate to say it, he has a point," Tomi said carefully. "It's not easy to deal with someone like Sagi. Chances are it'll only put us on her list, too."

"You say it like we weren't trained to put our lives on the line," I retorted.

"It's not that I don't want to help - of course I do, but," she glanced towards Kanjaku and sighed. "If we're going to put a stop to Sagi's plans, we'll need to know what they are in the first place."

My gaze settled on Kanjaku, silently demanding that he provide us with the information we needed.

He looked between us and was silent for a long moment until finally, he nodded. "The plan is to bring Takara to the capital at the end of the month, so you have until then to figure something out."

"What Kanjaku explained to us that night is what happened during this mission, except with a few changes prompted by our interfering," Sadame said, eyes scanning the room as she spoke.

I shifted in my seat, having taken one somewhere in the middle of her account. It was hard to find the words to say, but at the same time, the only thing we felt the need to do was listen.

When I looked over at Takara, she was sitting in absolute silence with proper posture and her hands resting on her lap. It was hard to get a good reading on her expression, but I could only imagine what she was thinking right then.

"Most of the danger came from Sagi having control over all the cards, so we decided to balance the playing field by stealing some of them and adding them to our own deck," Sadame continued.

"Considering who her mother is, it would've been weird not to hire an escort," Tomi explained. "Sagi needed to get them out of the way, but it'd cause an uproar if Konoha shinobi got killed during a domestic mission. That's why Kanjaku drugged the shinobi to keep them out of the way."

"The first card was the wagon itself," Sadame said. "Sagi's plan was to have her own subordinates guiding Kanjaku. We circumvented this by arriving at Konoha first and stealing the wagon when they arrived."

I blinked, taking a moment to imagine Sagi's grunts panicking back in Konoha as they try to figure out where the hell their wagon had gone.

 _Heh, losers._

"How did Hanjou-san end up coming back with you?" Sakura asked from her seat next to me.

"That was our second card," Sadame replied. "Sagi knew that with the mission presented as a standard escort mission, the shinobi who got assigned wouldn't normally be anything out of the ordinary. We knew someone in Konoha, however, who could make it so the team we wanted got assigned to the mission," she said, eyes trailing towards Hanjou.

I looked over to the small woman myself as I fought the urge to gasp after putting two and two together. "You wanted _us_ on the mission?" I asked instead.

Tomi choked out a laugh. "Sorry, but not quite. More specifically, we wanted your sensei," she said, smiling at the jounin. "Who better to have escorting you than the Copy Nin himself?"

"Copy Nin?" Sasuke repeated skeptically as he exchanged looks with me and Sakura. Not that I had anything to be puzzled about, but since they weren't aware of the hefty bounty on our sensei's head, I simply responded with a shrug.

Kakashi ignored our confusion and instead returned Tomi's smile with an intrigued eyebrow-raise. "It's not easy, rigging the Mission Desk."

"It isn't, but you make it work when your comrades break into your apartment squabbling about how a child's life is on the line," Hanjou said with a hint of lament behind her voice as she glanced at Tomi and Sadame and huffed. "Any more persuasion and they would've been threatening me to get the job done."

 _Why do I get the feeling she would've done it no matter what?_ I thought, eyeing the way Tomi and Sadame exchanged grins.

"The last card was the drugged tea," Sadame said as she held up her thumb and two fingers. "Tomi mixed some regular tea leaves with the opium when Kanjaku wasn't looking in order to lessen the effects. It didn't negate its effects completely, but what was most important is that everybody was sober enough to escape."

"That was the extent of our intercepting Furyoku's plan," Hanjou said. "Although there's still one more matter left to discuss."

Her words settled over us in a brief moment of silence. I tried to make a timeline in my head, combining all the information I'd received from Miyako and Tadashi with what we'd just learned, only to end up with a headache.

"I want to know what happened to Uncle Kanjaku," Takara asked, surprising everyone. "That's what's left to discuss, right? That he may have faked his death?"

"He didn't," Sadame said the same time Tadashi said, "He did."

Everybody paused as the contradiction sank in.

"Sorry, what?" Tomi asked, quirking her brow. "What do you know?"

Tadashi shifted his weight from one leg to the other, visible uncomfortable from the tension rising in the room. It probably wasn't fun, having to drop the bomb to the niece of the person whose death you helped fake.

"He faked his death," he finally said, ripping off the verbal bandaid. "And I know he did because he paid me to help him."

"He _what?_ " Hanjou asked rhetorically, her jaw clenched and nails digging into her arms where they were crossed.

Tadashi nodded. "I don't know what happened to him, though. I was supposed to help sneak him out of the country after the attack, but he never showed up."

The caravan members exchanged glances in silent communication before Hanjou spoke. "We can answer that," she sighed, clearly irritated, but before she could, there was a sudden bang from behind one of the closed doors, followed by muffled yelling that suddenly became cleared when the door swung open, revealing two thoroughly bandaged men.

"U-Uncle Kanjaku…!" Takara gasped, jumping onto her feet.

Just one look at him was enough to know that he'd seen better days. His clothes were clean, but the bandages around his arms and head were bloodied and his eyes were sunken in, exhausted.

But while everybody was staring speechless at the uncle we'd thought had run away, I was distracted by the potter standing next to him and the way every muscle in Kakashi's body tensed the second he walked in.

I didn't think anything of it before, the first time I saw him - the scars and clothing and the fact that the possibility never even crossed my mind had made it impossible, but now it suddenly felt so obvious and I just _knew._

I recognized him, and it took me every single ounce of willpower not to collapse out of utter shock and disbelief and- and just so much _confusion_ , because the man standing before me was Uchiha Obito.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : She's screaming on the inside, I'm sure.

Hey! If you like extra content/scraps/etc. consider checking out my tumblr .com! I have art and original writing and other junk over there that might tickle your fancy. Unless you don't like being tickled, in which case maybe they'll just kinda...be there. Being fancy. Listen I might post this in the evening but I'm writing this at 2:30am so bear with me ok.


	18. Ignorance is a Hit or Miss

**Summary** : Forget about Obito - it's time to make a move. (Just kidding, it's literally impossible to just forget about him, but Satoko can try. By god, can she try.)

* * *

 _Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out._

There were only so many things I could handle at once. I thought assassins and corrupt politicians and drug cartels were more than enough, but clearly the universe thought otherwise.

 ** _Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out._**

It was hard to keep track of what everybody was saying, but time waits for no one and the conversation around me grew progressively louder while I silently tried to wrap my head around the reality of something so blatantly impossible, I'd never even considered it as an impossibility in the first place.

 ** _DON'T FREAK OUT. DON'T FREAK OUT. DON'T FREAK OUT._**

"Kakashi…?"

My head snapped towards the source of the voice. Did I hear that correctly?

"You're…Hatake Kakashi, right?" the potter - Obito? - asked, staring at the jounin in awe with just his one visible right eye.

Kakashi didn't respond right away. Instead, he looked petrified, but not the scared kind of petrified - I mean the kind that's a status ailment in RPGs that turns characters into stone. Not that I could blame him - my mind was emptier than a millennial's bank account.

Eventually, he managed to answer with a single syllable that sounded stuck in his throat. "…Yes."

"No way…" the potter - _Obito?!_ \- gasped, bringing his one hand up over his mouth in shock. "No _way!_ "

 _No way,_ I thought, although with a lot more dread than whatever sentiment the potter - _OBITO?! -_ carried. _No. Way._

"Oh my god, no way," he repeated again in a whisper. " _The_ Hatake Kakashi is in my house! That is- That is _so! Cool!_ "

I blinked, unable to fully process what the _fuck_ was going on.

"I'm such a huge fan!" he exclaimed, practically jumping up and down on the spot. "I've heard so many insane things about you, and your bounty is so high, and your _eye_ -!"

Kakashi may as well have punched himself in the face at the mention of the eye - _Obito's Sharingan eye which was currently stuck in Kakashi's skull_ \- from how obviously distraught and panicked he was. I was pretty close to stabbing myself in the thigh to make sure it wasn't all a dream myself.

Thankfully, Hanjou cut him off before he could say anything more. "Calm down, Hidari," she sighed, which only raised more questions, because what was that she called him? Hidari? Did that mean the potter wasn't Obito? But…no, the resemblance was too much for it to be just a coincidence, especially when coupled with Kakashi's blatantly tense response.

The man I was sure was Obito, but who responded to a different name, then turned to Hanjou and smacked her on the arm with his empty right sleeve. "How the hell am I supposed to calm down?!" he hissed. " _Hatake Kakashi_ is in my house! _My house!_ You didn't tell me your comrades included someone like him! This place is a mess! I don't even have refreshments! It's like you were _trying_ to embarrass me!"

" _Hidari,_ " Hanjou bit out again, enunciating every syllable as if she knew I was having doubt about the man's identity. "There's more important things to address right now."

"Oh, right," he murmured, glancing back at Kanjaku. "So, looks like you're in deep shit, huh."

After that, it was like my mind became separated from my body. I knew that people were talking; I just had no idea what they were saying. I suddenly felt like I was back in class, where I was fully aware that what the professor was saying was important information, but just that knowledge alone never stopped me from completely tuning them out while I got invested in my own thoughts. At the time, those thoughts were always about trivial things, like whether or not I should cook or eat out - the kind of stuff that didn't really excuse me from paying attention. I'm sure that if anybody knew what I was thinking about this time, though, they'd give me a free pass.

To be fair, I'd always figured that if I was going to meet somebody relevant during this mission, it would be Jiraiya or something. Hell, I was more prepared for _Zabuza and Haku_ to show up, but who do I get instead?

 ** _MOTHERFUCKING UCHIHA OBITO._**

So, yeah, whatever everybody else was yelling about could wait. I had to figure some shit out for myself, first.

Seeing as I knew the guy as a bloodthirsty whackjob hellbent on destroying the entire world, my initial thought was that, assuming Obito was still Evil Obito, he was fucking with Kakashi by showing up out of the blue and going by a fake name. Except, why go through all the trouble of getting wrapped up in our C-Rank mission gone wrong? If his intention really was just to mess with Kakashi, surely there were at least a hundred other ways to go about it that didn't involve revealing himself to a dozen other people at the same time. Plus, Hanjou said that they'd been working with him for a while, which meant that his being here wasn't something spontaneous.

Unless there was some grand conspiracy going on, there didn't seem to be any reason for Obito to show up if he was still Evil Obito, which meant that either he wasn't Obito at all - which, judging by Kakashi's reaction, was no longer an option even if Hanjou did call him by a different name - or that he wasn't the Obito that I'd been reading about for literal years. So if Obito wasn't busy being evil, then the next question was whether or not Madara was still a threat, and whether or not there was anybody known as Tobi in the first place.

It was possible that Madara could've picked up any other Uchiha kid during the war to carry out his crazy "hypnotize the entire world" plan. If that was the case, I had no idea what to expect anymore. It could also mean, however, that Madara wasn't a foreseeable threat because clearly he didn't pick up Obito in the first place, which would mean that he doesn't _need_ somebody for his plan, which would mean that I didn't have to deal with any of that mess at all.

Then there was the matter of _who_ exactly this version of Obito was in the first place. Given that the list of things I didn't know about him was so long it could expand across the entire capital, I decided to start with the things I actually did know.

Most notably, he still had his injuries from the Kannabi Bridge mission, which meant that the mission still happened. Unless he somehow got the exact same injuries through some other means, but that was unlikely because Kakashi still had Obito's Sharingan. Well, I'd never seen him use it yet, but he still kept his eye covered with his headband and Hanjou referred to him as the Copy Nin, so I felt justified enough to make that assumption.

Secondly, Obito definitely wasn't a shinobi anymore. Instead, he was an impressive one-armed potter named Hidari who, honestly, made some _really_ nice stuff.

So, either Obito recovered from his injuries and decided to start a new life in the capital, or he forgot everything and was _given_ a new life in the capital. Considering how he reacted to seeing Kakashi, though - that is, as a fan instead of a former teammate who was left for dead - I was betting on amnesia.

If that was the case, how did Obito end up at the capital instead of back in Konoha, then? Surely somebody must've brought him here, unless he had been brought back to Konoha and then transferred to the capital. Did the Hokage even know Obito was still alive? If it wasn't some stranger who brought Obito to the capital, then maybe it was the village who put him here for some reason.

Either way, all that didn't answer the question I found to be the most pressing: did Kakashi know that Obito was still alive before now? Obito having amnesia didn't necessarily mean that Kakashi didn't know he was alive.

The way he looked at the KIA stone after the bell test told me he didn't, but that expression could have easily been only for Minato and Rin. If he did know, though, it was hard to imagine that he'd be pretty much the same as what I knew about him from my previous world, and he didn't mention anything about having a friend in the capital, either. Not that it was any of our business, but I was pretty sure that he would show at least _some_ sign of knowing about Obito, assuming he did at all.

With only Kakashi's silent reactions to go by, it was looking more like he had no idea Obito was alive all this time. Otherwise, I'd think that he would look more relieved instead of like he was shitting out an entire brick house. In the end, I could only really conclude two things:

Obito doesn't remember the time when he was Uchiha Obito. His being here was either something very, very good, or very, very bad.

My chest tightened just at the mere thought of the latter, and I suddenly remembered how close I'd already come to death on numerous occasions. It was only our first mission outside the village and already we've been caught up in something way bigger than just a C-Rank mission. Assuming nothing else changed, it would only get more dangerous from here on out; Orochimaru would attack the village during the Chuunin Exams, and I'd have to fight Gaara. After that came Itachi and Kisame, and if I went to find Tsunade with Jiraiya, I'd face Orochimaru myself, and assuming I survived all of _that_ , it was still just one fight after another, injury after injury, loss after loss.

This mission was just one hurdle in a treacherous marathon that only ended if I _died_ , and it wasn't like I had much of a choice but to keep running; my only other option was to get back to where I came from, but if there was a way to do that, I certainly had no idea what it was. Why was I even here, anyway? Surely there had to be a reason, but fuck if I had any idea of what that was, either.

I would've lashed out if it weren't for Hanjou getting fed up about something herself.

" _Enough_ ," she said fiercely, unwittingly pulling me back from the downward spiral I'd fallen into. It wasn't quite a shout, but it was certainly loud enough to make some people flinch. I was only subconsciously aware of the conversation going on before, but only after everyone had suddenly gone quiet did I realize that the conversation must've been pretty damn heated. "Fine," Hanjou said with a heavy sigh, looking at Takara, "if that's what you really want."

I blinked, not even trying to hide my cluelessness. Wanted what?

"It is," Takara said with conviction. "Selling him out would be sending him to his grave."

 _Something about Kanjaku, I guess,_ I thought distantly. _Figures._

"He's more useful alive than he is dead," Tomi agreed, then muttered, "Even if he _is_ trash."

Despite the insults thrown at her uncle, Takara nodded in agreement, although I imagined it was more in response to Tomi's first statement "But more than anything else, I… I want to know why you did this," she said, facing her uncle, who immediately looked away.

There was a long, heavy silence before Kanjaku finally answered.

"You said it yourself; I was as good as dead," he said, voice low and defeated. "What other choice did I have?"

Takara bit her lip, her shoulders wide and hands balled into fists as she looked up at the man who betrayed her.

"I don't believe that," she said, her breath trembling as she spoke. "How could it be that you had no other choice but to abandon everybody who was counting on you? How could you have had no other choice but to abandon me while you knew full well what that woman intended to do? She killed my mother _\- your sister_ \- and then tried to kill me, so _tell me!_ " Her voice grew louder, full of power that I never would have thought could come from someone of her timid appearance. "How was it your only choice to stand aside and let it all happen?!"

"How could I fight back when she was threatening to frame me with the corruption of my own program and the death of my own sister? My choice was to live or to die; I simply chose to live!"

"You could have chosen to live and fight, but instead you chose to live and run away with your tail between your legs," Hanjou said with bitterness dripping from every word. "You chose to leave behind those you promised to help. You chose to throw years of your and Ryoukuna's work away. You chose to abandon your niece - your _family._ " I was almost certain she was going to hit Kanjaku from how close she was, but instead she kept her voice low and her hands to herself, and growled, "You chose to be a coward."

Kanjaku was frozen in place, having long since crossed over the line from pitiful to pathetic.

"I chose to survive," he eventually said, voice broken and strained. "I'm not a shinobi. I'm not trained to put my life on the line, nor did I ever think that I would have to," his voice got progressively louder as he found his words, "so you'll have to forgive me if I didn't know what else to do when trying not to _die_!" His chest heaved with every sentence, and through all his rage and desperation, I could see every single one of his regrets written on his face. "I didn't sign up for this!"

"Neither did I!" Takara shouted over him, her knuckles white from clenching her hands into tight fists. "But that doesn't mean I'll turn my back on the people who need my help - who need _your_ help! If it weren't for them," she said, gesturing towards the caravan, "you wouldn't even be here! You'd probably be dead already because Sagi would've found out that you tried to run away and sent assassins after you to tie up loose ends, but you're not; you're alive, so help us!"

Kanjaku was at a loss for words, but his eyes said everything. He was too overcome with paranoia and fear to listen to reason. "She'll kill me if I go back," he finally said, sweat mixing with his tears.

When I looked at him, I saw a coward, but I also saw a man who had been caught between a rock and a hard place. He saw no other way out, and he had a point - he wasn't trained to fight the same way a shinobi was.

Honestly, I could see where Kanjaku was coming from, but Takara was right; she never signed up for this, either, but she was still running the marathon whether she liked it or not. It was a kind of shitty feeling, realizing that I related better to the asshole uncle than the righteous niece, who was just… _good_. Too good for me to understand how she managed to put herself through life-risking hardships for the sake of that good.

Then again, I wasn't Kanjaku. I wasn't that asshole uncle who abandoned his niece - I was a nineteen-year-old university student trapped in the body of a twelve-year-old orphan whose world was built around a science I didn't understand and was the basis for the military-based society that developed.

 _…Am I just making excuses?_

I liked to think that they were at least pretty valid, considering how _alternate dimensions_ were involved in mine, but even so…

Whatever. I still had time to judge my own actions and figure out what I wanted to do about my situation. At that moment, Kanjaku was the one being judged. At least that, I could do.

"Having your life threatened makes your actions understandable, but it doesn't necessarily make them right," I said. All eyes were on me. I flexed my hands anxiously and continued. "There's nothing wrong with trying to save yourself, and if it was only about you, that'd be fine. But it wasn't. It was also about your sister, your niece, the program, and everyone in it. The problem isn't that you ran away to save yourself - the problem is that you ran away and _left everybody else behind._ "

I didn't really intend to go off, and there was so much more I could say, but I was already regretting drawing attention to myself at all and didn't want to say anything that might turn the tables against me. I was never really good at handling sensitive situations with tact.

Kanjaku stared at me, silent, and I looked back with an unwavering gaze. His eyes quivered and his lips trembled, the rest of his face gradually contorting into a sobbing mess. "I-I'm sorry…!" he sobbed, covering his face with one hand while the other gripped his crutch so tight that some of the wounds in his arm reopened. "I'm sorry!"

He sucked in deep, sharp breaths as he tried to calm himself down. I glanced at Takara, whose gaze on her uncle looked broken, yet relieved.

"Th-They're right - your uncle is just a c-coward who can't do a-anything! I-I've done wrong, and I don't know how to b-begin fixing my e-errors, but even so…!" he wiped his face and bowed as deeply as he could, his dark brown dropping messily over his face. "Please, forgive me!"

He was an absolute mess, but it was because he was such a mess that it was impossible to believe that it was an act. What he expressed was nothing but genuine regret. It wasn't enough for everybody, considering the bitter scowl Hanjou still wore, but it was enough for the person whose opinion mattered most.

"You can start by helping us," Takara said with watery eyes, stepping towards her uncle. "If you're truly sorry, then help us take her down."

Kanjaku wiped his tears with the back of his hand and looked up at his niece with eyes full of conviction that didn't match the rest of his pathetic appearance. "I will," he said, as though signing a contract with his words.

I exchanged glances with my teammates, who looked back with no signs of disapproval. Kakashi still looked distant, as if he was thinking about something else entirely, but if I didn't know about Obito, I would've just thought he was already thinking of some kind of plan to deal with Sagi. I resisted the urge to sigh and instead looked back at the others.

At least we got one thing settled.

"There's one more thing."

Or not.

All eyes turned to Kakashi, who surprised everyone by speaking for the first time in a long while. He looked back with a half-lidded gaze, his expression distant, but serious.

"Simply put, you lied about the mission," he said, dropping the bomb rather casually. "We're operating outside our duties right now. This has become at least a B-Rank mission, and my genin are barely a month out of the academy. Now that we know exactly what's going on, we might be better off going back and sending a more qualified team to come handle the issue."

I grimaced. So that was why Kakashi waited so long to bring that up. I supposed being a shinobi had a lot to do with seeing all the cards in everyone's hands. Information was power, after all.

"That can't be-!" Takara said, mouth agape.

The caravan and the mercenaries all cringed. Figures that they were all familiar with standard procedures, even if they haven't been active for a few years.

"He's right," Hanjou said regrettably. "Unless they agree, they are under no obligation to continue this mission."

All eyes settled on me and my teammates. We exchanged glances with each other, then glanced back at Kakashi, who simply sat in silence with no further prompting either way. He was leaving the decision entirely up to us.

I sighed. As much as I wanted to take advantage of the way out, that was just… Well, talk about a dick move. I was basically just given the option of being the Kanjaku or the Takara of the situation, and after everything I said, it'd just be hypocritical to back out, wouldn't it? Even if we weren't technically expected to stay on the mission, we'd already come so far. There was really only one possible answer.

"Then let's agree," I said before I could think too hard and doubt myself again. I looked at Sasuke and Sakura for their support, which they thankfully provided.

"Yeah," Sakura said with a determined nod. "Even if we did leave, by the time another team comes to help, who knows what Sagi will have done by then?"

"The sooner we attack, the better," Sasuke said in agreement. "Everybody is already gathered and Sagi's plan was disrupted. It'd be best to make a move while she's still trying to find her bearings again."

"Even so, the three of your are still only genin," Tomi said hesitantly. "Kakashi-san is right - this mission is way out of your league."

"I raised the issue in order to determine whether or not they could handle the mission," Kakashi said, his one eye flickering towards us and curving just slightly. "And from the looks of it, they can."

"They're right, too," Tadashi said. "If we wait any longer, we might lose our chance. It won't be long until Sagi finds out we defected," he said, gesturing to himself and Miyako.

"So then, you'll still…?" Takara asked, just to be sure, giving my team a hopeful look.

I nodded and grinned. "Let's sink that bitch."

And figure out what the deal is with Obito and Kakashi later.

Now that everybody in the room was on the same side, the tension dissipated and we started making ourselves comfortable. We still had a lot of work to do, after all, like figuring out how to proceed from here. Since the caravan members had been thinking about this for some time, however, it was pretty easy to map out a general plan.

"The goal is to ruin Sagi's reputation and get her removed from the program so Takara can gain ownership of it, as per Ryoukuna's revised will," Hanjou said while Sadame jotted down notes. "To get this done effectively, we need three things: the ledger, the will, and the illegal opium."

"Ledger?" Sakura asked curiously.

Surprisingly, but also not so surprisingly, Kanjaku was the one to elaborate on that. "Although it's in code, Sagi keeps a ledger of all the transactions made by the cartel. Everybody who profits or has profited from it has been recorded, along with how much money or opium was exchanged with every deal."

"In order words, if we can get our hands on that ledger, we have something to hold over Sagi's head," Tomi said conclusively. "Getting the illegal opium is more like a really good bonus. It isn't exactly necessarily, but it would definitely help."

"As for the will, we need it to prove that Takara's the rightful inheritor of the program," Hanjou said.

I nodded along, mind driven towards logging every piece of information they gave us, which was hard because I was getting distracted by the fact that this was happening at all. It made me as anxious as it did excited, sitting around a table with about ten other people as we plotted a literal heist to take down a corrupt politician and her drug cartel. It was hard to pretend that it wasn't even a _little_ bit awesome.

 _So awesome._

"Out of the three, the will is easiest to obtain because only Takara is allowed access to it," Sadame added. "Not even Sagi can get it."

"However, this means that once we do get the will, Sagi is likely to try and steal it from us," Hanjou said. "She'll want to destroy it in order to get Takara away from the program."

 _Figures_ , I thought with a huff.

"In order words, we're fighting a cold war until we make the first move," Sakura said, seeking confirmation. The caravan members nodded.

I furrowed my brow and tilted my head. "Whaddya mean?"

"Haven't you been listening?" Sasuke griped.

I kept my eyes forward while I retaliated with a kick under the table.

"The new will has Takara as the sole beneficiary. Sagi wants the will so she can destroy it. That way, instead of having everything in Ryoukuna's name go to Takara, it will go back to the capital, which Sagi can get access to because she's still leading the program," Sadame explained patiently. "But the will says that only Takara is allowed to see the will, and not even Sagi can bypass those laws. At least, not without arousing obvious suspicion.

"And she's not gonna risk that, especially since she knows we'll be getting it ourselves, anyway," Tomi added. "Instead of trying to steal it from city hall, it'd be easier for her to try and steal it from us."

I responded with a long "ah" and nodded my head. "So Sagi's just waiting for us to make the first move," I confirmed, receiving nods in return. "That's good, right? If she can't make the first move, that means we can rest up and take our time putting together a solid plan."

"Yes and no," Hanjou answered. "It does mean we don't have to worry about her getting the will before we do, but Sagi could be working to destroy or hide any evidence that can be used against her as we speak."

"Like the ledger," Sakura said.

"And the drugs," Sasuke added.

"Exactly," Hanjou said. "We don't have to worry about Sagi getting the will before us, and the opium isn't absolutely necessary, albeit incredibly useful if we could get control over it. What's most important is that we get the ledger."

"We should make our move tonight, then," I concluded. "Otherwise we might lose our chance to steal it."

"Do we even know where it is?" Takara asked. "Surely it must be kept somewhere secret and safe. Uncle, do you know anything about it?"

Kanjaku visibly flinched from suddenly being put on the spot, but he quickly answered with a headshake. "N…No, but I've seen it before. It's a white notebook kept in a brown envelope. My guess is that it's either hidden somewhere in her office or at her house."

"It wouldn't be either of those places," Tadashi objected. "It's too obvious. She'd hide it somewhere where she has an excuse to frequent, but isn't a place that draws attention. Sagi owns quite a bit of property across the capital, but Miyako and I have a few ideas on where she might've hidden it."

I furrowed my brows, wondering what kind of places a ledger could be hidden myself. Despite all the crime shows I'd watched, I never really understood how cartels were organized. Then again, it's not like I ever thought I'd be so closely involved in one myself.

 _If only I spent more time studying fictional mafias and drug cartels._

"I have a list of the program's properties," Kanjaku said, desperately wanting to be helpful.

"How do you know the information is correct?" Hanjou asked skeptically, and rightfully so. Kanjaku was barely an ally at this point, and seeing as how he was obviously being controlled by Sagi, it was hard to say if any information he had would even be accurate.

"Sagi deals illegally, but all her purchases and contracts within the capital still go through official processes. She also needs me to sign off on all decisions," he explained. "I can't tell you what exactly she does with the properties, but I can at least tell you which ones she's using."

Hanjou still looked hesitant to trust him, but even bias couldn't deny that what he said sounded pretty solid. She sighed. "Alright. That list will give us someplace to start, at least," Hanjou said. "As for the will, we won't be able to get it today. City hall is already closed."

"I know someone who can let us in after hours," Kakashi said, resting his chin in his hand. "But that's only if we decide we need the will tonight."

"That's something to consider," Tomi agreed. "I'd say the best time to attack is after midnight, when most of the capital is asleep. That's more than enough time to come up with a plan, especially since we know city hall and the capital inside and out."

It was late into the afternoon, which gave us over seven hours, which didn't sound like a lot of time to me, but what did I know? Then again, with so many experienced people on the same side, they probably only need an hour, or even thirty minutes, to come with something.

"What about the opium?" I asked. "It sounds like there's a lot of it stored in the barns. How's she gonna hide all that?"

"She'll find a way," Kanjaku said quietly. "She always finds a way to get what she wants."

I bit my lip. _Talk about ominous._

"Which is why we can't give her too much time before we make our move," Sadame said, frowning at Kanjaku;, probably for lowering morale.

So, basically, we could take some time to plan, but not too much because Sagi would definitely sense that something was amiss sooner or later. Now that I thought about it, none of the assassins she sent after Takara could have reported back to her, seeing as how Kakashi killed three of them and the other two joined our ranks. Kanjaku was certainly in no position to be contacting her, either, though hopefully by now he didn't want to, anyway.

"Let's get started, then," Takara urged, looking more fired up than ever. "I have to get the will myself, right?"

Sadame nodded. "I'll go with you."

"Miyako-san, Tadashi-san, do you know what to expect from Furyoku's subordinates?" Tomi asked. "How strong are they?"

"Honestly, the five of us that she sent last night were among the best, so I wouldn't worry about who else she might send," Tadashi admitted, glancing sheepishly at Kakashi. "Especially when you have an elite jounin on your side."

"Sagi's muscle comes from the program, so they're all disabled in some way, but there's about a handful of them who can still hold their own in a fight. They could certainly defeat the genin in a one-on-one battle, at least," Miyako said, glancing at us briefly before looking back at Tomi. "I recommend that you go with Sadame-san so the two of you can guard Takara-san, just to be safe."

The two members nodded. "That leaves the ledger and the opium," Sadame said.

"I can take Tsumi-chan to steal the opium," Hanjou said. "We can move whatever we carry to another location and threaten Sagi to leave the program, otherwise we'll burn what we stole."

"Wouldn't you guys be able to use the illegal opium once Sagi's booted out, though?" I asked. "Use it legally, I mean."

"Yes, but if Sagi tries to resists or bargain her way out, burning half, or even all of it, won't be detrimental for us," Hanjou replied.

I was suddenly reminded of every action show I've seen that involved hostages and dramatic face-offs. _Man, this is totally like the movies. Except for the part where it's not._

"The barn is on the outskirts of the capital, so Sagi could have more subordinates stationed there without it drawing too much attention," Sasuke noted. "We should help capture the barn. It'd be easier with more numbers."

"I don't know…" Sakura said hesitantly. "Even if they're weaker than the ones who attacked us last night, they still have more experience, don't they? And we don't know how many Sagi will send. They might overwhelm us."

I was about to remind her that I could make hundreds of copies of myself with a single hand gesture and big chakra fart, but Kakashi spoke first.

"I'll attack the barn," he proposed. "You three will help steal the ledger," he said to us genin. "Even if the barn is on the outskirts, their numbers wouldn't even reach that of a small army. In this case, we wouldn't have to be worried about getting overwhelmed, especially since they aren't particularly strong."

"Aw, but we're so good at blowing shit up," I whined, glancing at my bag that was piled next to the table along with the others. "We could totally use a flour bomb properly this time. It was pretty effective. Right, Tadashi?"

"Horrifyingly so," he said with a smile.

"Which is why you shouldn't go to the barn," Kakashi sighed. "We want to transfer the opium quickly and quietly. Explosions and fire aren't exactly subtle," he said, eyeing me and Sasuke in particular.

I huffed. Point taken. Not that I really wanted to go toe to toe with another shinobi, anyway. I had more than enough of that last night. Besides, Kakashi was obviously stressed - it'd probably do him good to punch it out. I had a feeling it was more than just because we weren't suited for that kind of task, though. His expression was the same as when Sakura escaped with Takara - worry, fear, exhaustion. When I thought of it that way, it seemed pretty obvious for him to want to keep us away from the heat of the battle.

 _The fear of dead teammates is probably way too fresh in his mind, too,_ I thought grimly, once again giving Obito the side-eye.

"How are we supposed to steal the ledger, then?" Sakura asked, looking worried. "There might be guards everywhere, and we don't even know where it is."

"It's likely hidden in one of the properties Kanjaku mentioned," Hanjou said. "Wherever it is, it won't be too heavily guarded for the same reasons Sagi won't have an army at the barn."

"Then should we help capture the barn?" Tadashi asked nobody in particular, gesturing at Miyako and himself. "Having too many people going after the ledger might draw too much attention."

"Actually, I think we should go after the ledger," Miyako suggested instead. "Sagi doesn't know we're alive. Nobody last night has reported back to her. She probably thinks we're dead, including Kanjaku. We can use that to our advantage and take her by surprise."

"That's a good idea," Hanjou agreed, "but I'd rather not have the two of you working together, especially to get the ledger. As much as we all appreciate your help, it's still difficult not to doubt the ones who worked under Sagi's command up until just a few hours ago."

The veterans in question both laugh sheepishly and glanced away. "Yeah…that's fair," Tadashi mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

I covered my grin with the back of my hand. Even if the doubt was there, I had a hard time believing either of them would try to do anything, anyway - not when Elite Jounin Hatake Kakashi was watching them. Everybody must've known that, too, but it was always better to be safe than sorry.

"What do you suggest, then?" Miyako asked, unimposing.

"I'll switch with one of you," Hanjou answered, turning towards Kakashi. "Do you have a preference as to who you are teamed with, Hatake-san?" When Kakashi didn't answer right away, she furrowed her brow in concern. "Or perhaps you had another strategy in mind?" she asked slowly, unsure of what his silence was about.

Only then did Kakashi seem to realize that he was being asked for an opinion. "Sorry, sorry, I got lost in thought for a bit," he apologized with a meek smile. I was pretty confident that I could take a guess as to what that thought was about. "Stealing the ledger will likely require disguises and other things involving chakra manipulation, so Tadashi should do that. I'll attack the barn with Miyako."

 _Ah, right, Miyako wasn't able to transform,_ I thought. I wondered once again what exactly was wrong with her chakra stream if all she could do was suppress her signature, and how well she must make up for it if she was still one of Sagi's top fighters despite being limited to just taijutsu. Then again, Rock Lee existed. Miyako hardly seemed to have the kind of passionate Youth that he had, though, but she was still one of the assassins who nearly made me shit myself last night, so who was I to doubt her abilities?

"Now that I think about it, I don't think Sagi would know that Hanjou's here, either," Tomi said, tapping her chin. "She knows Sadame and I were getting nosy, but since Hanjou left, Sagi isn't likely to suspect that she's involved."

"That's perfect, then," Sadame said with a faint smile. "She won't know what hit her."

Hanjou nodded, looking satisfied with the setup as well.

"So Takara, Sadame-san, and Tomi-san are getting the will," I said, wanting to make sure I'd been following everything correctly, "Sensei, Miyako, and the four-legged hell spawn are capturing the barn," Sakura kicked me for the nickname, which I ignored because I stand by it, "and us, Hanjou-san, and Tadashi are stealing the ledger." I paused and waited to get nods of confirmation before asking, "What about Kanjaku? Is he gonna do anything?"

All eyes turned to him.

" _Can_ he do anything?" Sasuke asked rather bitterly.

Kanjaku swallowed. I stared at him expectantly, silently urging him to take the chance I'd just given him to prove that he was a changed man. We made eye contact, and I could see the hesitation and fear in his eyes, but I didn't let up. I simply quirked my brow and did the best I could to convey the message that I'd shank his ass if he chickened out again, as would everybody else in the room, I'm sure.

"I…might be able to get you close to the barn," Kanjaku finally said, his body stiff as he spoke. "I sometimes oversaw the illegal trades myself, mostly so Sagi had more to hold over my head in case I tried to rat her out…" He glanced away and sighed at this, but continued. "I can probably distract them and give you two an opportunity to get close."

The caravan exchanged looks before nodding. "That sounds good," Hanjou said. "You'll go with Hatake-san, then."

"The barn will have the most fighting. Are you sure we can trust him to stick to the plan?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes at the man. Funny how he was fairly quiet until the opportunity to talk smack about Kanjaku came up, I thought. It would've been annoying if I wasn't sure that the rest of us were thinking the exact same thing, and also totally understandable, given how personally Sasuke took people betraying their own families and all that.

"He will," Sadame said - nearly threatened. "I'm sure Hatake-san will make sure of that."

Kakashi smiled. "Of course."

Kanjaku lowered his head. It was almost pitiable how much he resembled a kicked dog.

Almost.

"Now all that's left is figuring out how exactly we go about stealing the ledger," Sadame said.

"If we want to take advantage of Tadashi, then we should be the ones who actually steal the ledger," Hanjou said.

"What about us?" Sakura asked, tilting her head.

"You three will be a distraction," Kakashi said.

I grinned. "We're good at that." It was a lot less stressful than having to deal with the delicate work of sneaking around, too. As cool as it would've been, I'd rather not pop a vessel from all the pressure.

"That's possible," Sadame said. She looked at Kanjaku and the two veterans. "Have you noticed any patterns in Sagi's movements that might help?"

"Hey~ Is there anything I can do?" Obito suddenly cut in, leaning over the table with a cheeky grin that shifted the bandages on his face.

"This doesn't concern you, Hidari," Hanjou sighed.

 _Ah, shit, I almost forgot about him. Can't I go back to a time where I didn't know he existed?_

I pressed my lips together and risked a glance at Kakashi. He looked stiff, but kept his eye focused on the table instead of his former teammate. Who, again, was supposed to be _dead._ Even Kakashi couldn't keep his reactions under control, but I supposed anybody else who noticed would think it was about the mission and not because of the teammate who was _back from the dead_.

I just really wanted this conversation to be over so I could have a few minutes to think about that whole ordeal in peace and quiet.

 _More like suffering and quiet._

"Don't think you can use me just for my housing," Obito pouted. "This sounds exciting! Plus, what kinda friend would I be if I didn't help take down a corrupt politician and her drug cartel?"

"You could help by getting us something to eat," Tomi said teasingly. "It's about time for dinner, anyway."

Obito whined, but peeled himself off the table again nevertheless. "Fine. But only because I'm hungry, too." He then eyed my team and Takara expectantly. "I could use a hand," he said with a grin, flapping the sleeve that covered his missing right arm. "Y'know, since the adults are busy planning, anyway."

Sasuke visibly twitched at this, and I could tell Sakura was annoyed at the suggestion that we had no reason to be there, too. Hell, even I was annoyed, and I barely knew what the hell was going on. We may be young and inexperienced, but we were still shinobi.

"Actually, I was thinking of letting my team come up with a plan on how they should go about being a distraction," Kakashi said, his one eye shifting between us and the caravan. "They were pretty quick on their feet last night, so I'd like to see how they do when they actually have time to come up with a strategy. It'd be a good exercise for them."

I blinked at him, clueless. _He wants us to do what now?_

"Sensei, I don't-" Sakura started, but was quickly interrupted by Hanjou.

"You can't be serious," she said with a heavy frown. "I admit that they're capable for their age and rank, but we can't trust a few rookies to make decisions for a plan that requires this kind of delicacy."

"I'll review whatever they come up with, of course," Kakashi said, sounding unconcerned, "and they'll be given a deadline so we still have time to modify it and prepare ourselves as needed."

The caravan exchanged looks, silently communicating for a moment until finally, Hanjou sighed and nodded. "Alright. Admittedly, I'm quite curious to see what you three can come up with," she said, eyeing us with a piercing gaze.

I shrank under the weight of everybody's stares. I never liked being put under the pressure of expectations, even if they weren't particularly high. Mostly, though, I was wondering why Kakashi was throwing us under the bus like this in the first place. I would've thought that he would rather we get the job done quickly and efficiently. In other words, that he'd just tell us what to do and carry us through the rest of the mission, especially after we all took turns almost dying last night.

"It's getting late, so I'm giving you an hour to come up with a plan," Kakashi said. "In the meantime, I'll go see if my contact is willing to help us tonight. Remember to work together~"

Without even giving us a chance to ask any questions or object to being left with the task he gave us, he transformed with a puff of smoke and slipped out the back door, leaving my teammates and I gaping at his absence.

 _Oh, I see how it is._

Not that anybody else would be able to guess it, but it seemed to me that Kakashi just needed to get out and take a breather. He probably wasn't in the mood to be planning anything that involved delicate details, or at least needed some time alone before he could calm down enough to do so, assuming seeing Obito alive and relatively well was something he could calm down from at all. Him suddenly speaking up like that probably didn't help calm Kakashi's nerves. I mean, it certainly didn't calm mine.

I made a mental note to keep an eye on Kakashi, just in case.

At least he _could_ actually get some alone time, though. Meanwhile, I was about to spend the next two hours stuck in a basement trying to put together some haphazard infiltration plan with my two stubborn teammates.

"So I…guess we're planning a heist?" I asked, looking between Sasuke and Sakura, who were just as dumbfounded as I was.

"We'll leave you three to it," Tomi grinned, patting Sakura on the back as she stood up.

"Aw, then who's gonna help me with dinner?" Obito whined.

"I will!" Tadashi answered suddenly, and rather excitedly. I could've sworn his cheeks were turning red, too, but it was hard to tell from the lighting.

"We'll all help," Sadame said. "Any preferences?"

We shook our heads in unison.

"Don't overthink it," she added with a gentle smile. "More often than not, the best solutions are the simplest ones."

I nodded, but couldn't help but think that nothing about this mission was simple.

"And remember to include me in your plans, too!" Obito chimed before disappearing up the stairs.

I resisted the urge to drop my head on the table. _Please stop reminding me that you exist._

"You," Hanjou said, stopping Kanjaku in his tracks as he was about to get up, "should write that list of properties and give it to them so they have something to work with."

Kanjaku nodded and sat back down. "Of course."

"We can't plan much without the list, so hurry up," Sasuke urged, glaring daggers at the man.

"Sasuke-kun, don't you think you're being a little too harsh?" Sakura whispered.

I didn't bother getting involved myself. Instead, I was still preoccupied with wrapping my head around literally everything. Between Obito, Kakashi, and suddenly being left to plan a heist, it was kind of hard to focus on the task at hand. I didn't exactly know much about breaking and entering, either.

 _Okay, Satoko. Time to put your years of roleplaying and fiction writing to use._

Except that writing heists and actually doing a heist were two completely different things, and the former certainly didn't prepare me for the latter.

I sighed deeply.

 _This is going to be swell._

After getting the list from Kanjaku and a notebook for us to draw our plan in, Sasuke, Sakura and I holed ourselves up in the room Kanjaku and Obito had barged out of. It was decent in size - big enough to fit a bed and a desk, but a little cramped with three people. We ended up settling on the floor with the notebook and pens in the middle. The floor was smooth hardwood, so writing wasn't an issue.

"Okay, so we need to make a distraction," I said , fiddling with one of the pens with the notebook open in front of me. "I've still got two of everything, so we could totally blow something up." My teammates immediately shot me down with a glare and I whined. "Whaaat? He said distraction!"

"We can't go around terrorizing the capital!" Sakura hissed, smacking my arm. "We do have to be loud, though. Something that'll catch Sagi's attention, but nobody else's. Which is why we can't blow something up," she repeated, shooting me a look.

I slumped back on my hands with a pout. "Fine. What do we do, then, flare our chakra signatures like crazy? I could always send out a bunch of clones or something."

"We should look for the ledger," Sasuke said. "Sagi will be expecting someone to go after the ledger. If we make it obvious enough, we can make her focus on us instead of Hanjou and Tadashi."

"You're so smart, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura practically squealed - a sound I almost forgot existed until just then.

 _Man, I hope I live long enough to see the older Sakura._

On the other hand, I hope I figured out a way to get back home soon enough to never see her.

"If she finds out that we're trying to steal it, she might move it to a safer location, too," I added. "We can use the distraction to put pressure on her to reveal its actual location."

"Things are always most vulnerable when they're in transit," Sakura said, as though reading from a textbook. "If they can find Sagi while she's moving the ledger, it'll be a piece of cake for them to steal it."

I clasped my hands and grinned. "Nice! But then, don't we need some way to track Sagi? How're we supposed to know that she's onto us?"

"You said you can make clones, didn't you?" Sasuke said. "You can hide them around the city and keep an eye out for her."

I furrowed my brow and hummed thoughtfully. "I guess that could work, yeah. They can dispel themselves if they see Sagi and transfer that info back to me."

"Your clones can do that?" Sakura asked curiously.

I nodded. "Yeah, whatever experience they gain, I get once they get dispelled. It has its pros and cons," I said with a sheepish grin, recalling the many ghost pains I got from when a clone got dispelled by an attack. "Okay, so that's settled. Should we split up or stay as a group?"

"Split up," Sasuke said while Sakura said, "A group."

We fell silent and exchanged looks, with Sakura getting flustered over having disagreed with her beloved Sasuke or whatever.

"Or we could split up!" she said quickly with a shaky laugh. "We can cover more ground that way, right?"

 _Oh my god, this girl._ Then again, answering right away instead of waiting to hear Sasuke's opinion just so she could agree was pretty good - by her standards, anyway.

Sasuke nodded, earning a sigh of relief from Sakura. "It'll give her a false sense of security if she knows that we're all separated."

"But that makes it more dangerous for us," I countered. "Any fighting is most likely to happen at the barn, but we can't completely rule it out for us, either. I think we should stick together in case something happens. It's easier to be unsubtle as a group, too, which is our goal."

Sakura looked like she wanted to disagree, but she eventually gave in with a sigh and said, "Satoko has a point - we still might get attacked when going after the ledger. Even if the chances are low, I don't think we should risk it."

 _Oh, thank god._

It was nice to know she was thinking about the wellbeing of the team as a whole and not just taking a chance to be alone with Sasuke.

 _Then again, it's hard to forget how badly Kakashi roasted us after the bell test._

Which was good, because otherwise I had a feeling that Sakura really would be more likely to throw me under the bus. Repeatedly. Hell, she probably would've been the one driving.

"Don't put me on the same level as you," he retorted. "You can pair up with Sakura if you don't think you can handle it yourself. I'll be fine on my own."

I clicked my tongue, gripping the pen tightly between my fingers. "This isn't about showing off or proving how great we are," I bit out. "It's about having enough self-awareness to know that we're better off not putting ourselves at unnecessary risk for the sake of a mission that's already gone to shit and beyond. You think Kakashi-sensei wants to bury his students? It's only been a month since we even became a team."

"You're just scared," Sasuke scoffed, turning his head away.

"For fuck's sake!" I snapped, shifting my position so that I was cross-legged with my hands on my knees.

"You guys-" Sakura started, but I was already going off because clearly Sasuke still needed to get some basics hammered into his thick skull.

"We're all genin!" I shouted, gesturing at all of us with one hand. "What, you think just because you're from a clan that it automatically makes you better than us? Well, newsflash: we're on the _same fucking team!_ We're all genin! We're all kids! We're all rookies! So get the fuck off your high horse and learn to cooperate for once before you get yourself killed!"

The room fell silent, and I could've sworn that the chatter coming from those outside ceased for a moment, too. The air was suffocating and nobody made eye-contact with each other. Sakura gripped her dress until her knuckles turned white, but she said nothing. I broke the silence with a loud huff and leaned back again, relaxing my shoulders.

"We all know you're ahead of the game, Bastard," I grumbled, resting my forehead against my hand, "but that doesn't mean the rest of us are complete shit! Didn't you learn anything from the bell test? The only way to pass was to work together-"

"We didn't pass because of your plan," he interrupted sharply, to which I responded with an irked glare.

" _No,_ we didn't," I agreed stiffly, "because just physically working together wasn't _enough_ ," I said, enunciating the last with a hiss. "We passed because we all stood up for each other - because we proved that we had the capacity to give even a _single flying fuck_ about each other. Kakashi-sensei said that teamwork isn't a temporary truce. _What we did to pass the genin test_ wasn't a temporary truce; we're supposed to _keep_ looking out for each other and _keep_ working together, instead of constantly treating each other like a burden."

Sasuke grit his teeth and clicked his tongue. "Tch, you talk too much," he muttered, glowering at me. "Quit acting like you know everything - you're just an idiot who barely even managed to graduate! So what if we're all genin? You've always been at the bottom of our class while Sakura and I have always been at the top. It's naïve to think that means we're all on the same level; you barely even qualify!"

"Sasuke-kun-"

I could feel my cheeks turning red as my face became hot. "That doesn't mean you can just- augh!" I threw my hands into the air and plopped them into my lap.

What the hell was I supposed to say to get through to him? Was it really too much to ask for him quite being such a loner so that _maybe_ he won't grow up to be a traitor and the root of everybody's problems? How the fuck was I supposed to get him to care about us enough for him to say no to Orochimaru in, what, one month? Two? I was running out of time, and there were only so many flags between then and now were I could try and convince Sasuke that we were worth sticking around for - not just as teammates, but as friends, too.

"I'm so sick of you, man!" I grumbled. "Do you even listen to anything I say?"

"I could say the same about you," Sasuke rebuked.

"Stop fighting!" Sakura suddenly yelled, starting me and Sasuke into silence. "We only have an hour to come up with a plan and all you've done so far is argue! Satoko's right, we need to work together, not just for the sake of the mission, but because we're a team," she said to Sasuke before looking at me. "Sasuke-kun's right, too - we aren't all on the same level, but it's because we have different strengths and weaknesses. But it's because we're a team that it shouldn't matter that we're on different levels," she said pointedly while turning back to Sasuke, "because the point is to cover each other's weaknesses with our own strengths!"

There was a long, heavy silence as the three of us exchanged a variety of looks - irritated, frustrated, worried - but eventually Sasuke and I both conceded with a sigh.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. "You're right, it's not like arguing's gonna help, either."

"Yeah, sorry," Sasuke said, glancing away. "...You're right."

Sakura sat back with her arms crossed and sighed. "Honestly, you two..." She looked tired, but was clearly satisfied with herself. "We've already wasted almost twenty minutes, so let's get to work and make sure Sensei doesn't regret passing us!"

"Alright!" I cheered, grinning widely. Even Sasuke mustered up a smirk.

So with a renewed sense of teamwork and no more desire to get at each other's throats, at least for now, we got to work.

By the time our hour was up, we had pages full of notes, half of which were crossed out because we later decided on something better. When we heard the others outside greeting Kakashi's return, we quickly rushed over our final plan to make sure everything was in order.

"Do you think this is enough?" Sakura asked as she frowned a the page.

"It's as good as it's going to get," Sasuke sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"C'mon, this is pretty great," I said, skimming through our final draft. "We're pretty awesome for even putting together this much, y'know!"

"I guess…" Sakura said with a shrug. "Let's go over it one more time, just to be sure."

"Okay! So, we're going as a group," I said, tapping against our notes with the pen. "We're gonna comb through the list of properties Kanjaku listed for us and intentionally be bad at sneaking around so Sagi, or Sagi's subordinates, are looking for us. Meanwhile, I'll have clones all around the city looking for her. Once they locate her, they'll dispel and I'll get the info on her location, which I'll give to you guys, Hanjou, and Tadashi, who are shadowing us the entire time."

I looked up to make sure we were all on the same page and continued after receiving nods from both my teammates.

"Once Sagi's found, Hanjou and Tadashi will go shadow her. We'll make our presence obvious enough to pressure Sagi into moving the ledger to a new location. Once she moves the ledger, Hanjou and Tadashi will steal it, and bam!" I exclaimed, slapping the notebook against the ground. "We emerge victorious."

Sakura slapped my arm, annoyed. "Be serious! There's a high chance that Sagi will send people to come after us once she realizes we're snooping around, so we have to be on our guard the entire time," she reminded. "This isn't a game, you know."

I huffed, rubbing my arm even though the slap didn't really hurt. "I know, I know."

"Kakashi-sensei's back, so let's go," Sasuke said, already standing up.

I stood up after him, the notebook in hand, and brushed off my pants. "Our plan turned out to be pretty great, huh!" I grinned, resting my hands behind my head. "I bet he won't even change anything."

I wasn't too surprised to be immediately proven wrong.

"Maa, this is better than I expected," Kakashi said after taking just a minute to review it, "but I'm still going to make a few changes."

 _Of course._ Not that it was particularly unexpected, even if I said what I'd said.

"Firstly," he said, adding a note on the page, "you should all transform when you're looking for the ledger."

Sakura gasped and shot Sasuke and I a look. "I told you guys!" she cried "It makes it look more like we're actually _trying_ to steal! Being too obvious is no good, either."

Kakashi nodded, looking amused at the way we shrank away from Sakura's scolding. "Exactly."

"Shoulda argued for it better if you thought it was such a good idea," I mumbled, earning a slap on the arm.

"Secondly, I'll give Hanjou and Tadashi something to replace the ledger with, if the opportunity arises. It might be useful, depending on how things play out," Kakashi said, adding a small note that indicated as such.

I hummed thoughtfully. I wasn't sure what good would come out of that, but it wasn't like I'd know any better.

"Lastly," he continued, scribbling even more notes this time, "Satoko should have her clones locate Sagi before any of you move out. Once Sagi is located, Satoko will receive that information from her clones and give it to Hanjou and Tadashi. When those two leave to find Sagi, Satoko will send a clone with them, but this one will be transformed into a small object, like a shuriken, so that traveling is easier and more stealthy. Once they locate Sagi, the clone will dispel, which will be your signal to head out."

The three of us nodded along silently as he spoke, following along as he made rather detailed notes in a short matter of time.

"The entire first part of the plan depends on you, Satoko," he said, his half-lidded eye settling on me. "Can you handle it?"

 _Do I really have a choice?_

"Of course! I can make clones in my sleep!" I grinned, and for once, I wasn't even putting on a front.

Thankfully, making clones had become second-nature to me, and I'd already used them plenty of times in a similar manner in Konoha. It sounded kind of tedious when the process was laid out step-by-step, but in practice, having my clones do everything he just said wasn't really that difficult. The clones were useful for exchanging information that way, so I saw no problem abusing the power so long as my chakra pool let me.

 _Man, Protagonist could've done so much cool shit with his clones if he had the brains for anything other than spamming._

I mean, they're not even that good for combat, anyway, seeing as how they die right after throwing a punch. Kinda like bees.

"He ended up changing our plan a whole bunch after all," Sakura sighed, dropping her head onto the table.

"Don't be discouraged," Kakashi said, patting her head. "You three laid down a decent foundation for a plan. It's good that you're making use of your strengths, and I can tell that you put a lot of thought into this," he added, flipping through the pages of rough notes and scrapped ideas. He set the notebook down and gave us a one-eyed smile. "I'm proud of you."

Sakura immediately perked up at the compliments and I patted my teammates' arms, grinning widely. "He's proud!" I cheered. "Told ya we're awesome!"

They swatted my hands away, but both wore smiles themselves - even Sasuke, whose was faint, but content.

"Alright, then! Dinner should be ready soon, so let's head upstairs," Kakashi said, standing up with the notebook in hand. "We could all use a break."

I eyed him carefully when he said that, taking note of how he looked only a bit better than before. He still looked distracted and stressed, but at least he wasn't totally out of it anymore. All things considered, he was doing pretty damn well - I can't imagine seeing a once-dead teammate again after over a decade was something you could get over after just a one-hour walk, even if you were Hatake Kakashi, Angstlord of Konoha.

 _You and me both, buddy. You and me both._

Dinner was a little cramped - we ate at the table in the basement as the usual dining table was too small for a dozen people, but even then we were almost shoulder to shoulder. It was lively, and although I was already used to eating alone every night at university, it was a nice change of pace for once, especially in terms of the actual meal. I never knew how good home-cooked food was until it followed a day of rations and near-death experiences. I didn't even recognize half of what I was eating - some vegetables were similar to the ones back home, but many of them were either variants or completely foreign to me.

 _Good thing I've always liked vegetables, even if they looked kinda weird._

The table talk started off with Kakashi going through the ledger plan with Hanjou and Tadashi, but then quickly switched to more casual conversations that finally gave us a mental break. After over twelve hours of being in a state of panic and stress, I was pretty sure my brain was literally starting to cramp up.

"I've been wondering," Sakura started when there was a break in the conversation, "were the instruments just part of your cover as a group of merchants, or do you all actually play together sometimes, or maybe even perform?"

"We don't perform," Tomi answered with a laugh, her eyes flickering at Takara briefly, "but we do have fun with them."

"They're primarily a cover, though," Sadame said, pulling out her ocarina from her pocket. "We use them to conceal weapons." Right after saying this, she aimed the small instrument at the wall opposite of her and played a single note. A senbon needle shot out from the base of the ocarina and sank almost halfway into the wall.

I blinked, eyes wide and mouth open. "Oh dang."

"Are all your instruments like that?" Sasuke asked curiously, prompting Tomi and Hanjou to get their respective instruments, both of which could be opened to reveal a concealed blade.

" _Oh dang!_ " I leaned over the table and gestured towards Tomi, who was sitting right across from me, to let me get a closer look at her pipa. She happily passed it over the table, and I stuffed another piece of mystery vegetable into my mouth before examining it closely. "This is so cool!"

I fiddled with the neck to see how it came off before strumming it a few times. I didn't have perfect pitch, but as far as I could tell, it was in tune. It was also probably the closest thing I'd ever see to a bass ever again, so I savoured the moment as much as I could and messed around with the chords.

"Oh? That's not bad!" Tomi commented. "Have you played one before?"

I laughed sheepishly and tilted my head. "Kind of?" I answered vaguely.

"I can't believe they still work as instruments…" Sakura murmured, carefully unsheathing the flute-knife Hanjou had passed on to her. "Where do you get weapons like these, anyway?"

"There's a lot of creative people in the world," Tomi grinned. "Some of them make instruments that double as weapons, that's all."

"These are so cool…" I whispered, still unable to wrap my head around the fact that these actually existed. Just the idea of knives hidden in the neck of a pipa was cool already, but the engineering and craftsmanship that must've gone into all these weaponized instruments almost made me want to take them apart just to see how it was done. "These are so freakin' _cool_!"

"Aren't they?" Tomi laughed as I finally returned her kick-ass pipa.

"Why don't you just use standard weapons?" Sasuke asked, although it didn't sound patronizing like I'd expected. I think he just wanted to know why they decided to go the extra mile to conceal their weapons.

"It's easier to convince people that we're harmless merchants when we can play folk songs," Sadame said. "And if we do get attacked, it catches the enemies off guard, because the last thing they're expecting is to get stabbed by a flute."

"Wait, didn't Kanjaku-san have an instrument, too?" Sakura asked. "Was yours a weapon, too?"

Kanjaku laughed nervously and glanced away. "Ah, n…no, mine's just a lute."

I would've scoffed if not for the food in my mouth.

 _Why do I feel like they did that on purpose?_

The caravan didn't even try to hide how much they hated the guy. It would've been cruel if it wasn't because he was so awful up until one hour ago. The context actually made of kind of hilarious, in a dark humour kind of way.

"Well, you could always use it to bash people's heads in," I offered wryly.

The conversation went from one topic to another after that until eventually, the dishes were all cleared. We still had quite a bit of time until midnight, so we took the opportunity to finally wash off all the forest grime. The bathroom was surprisingly big, probably to allow Obito to move around more easily with his crutches and whatnot. There was a circular bath large enough to fit two people comfortably - three if they squished - that looked kind of like a giant pot, with a big wooden lid and everything. There were also a small wooden stool in front of a showerhead, where we could scrub and wash our hair. It was pretty much what I expected from a world so heavily based off Japan.

It still wasn't big enough for a lot of us to bathe at once, so we took turns in groups of three with Takara, Sadame, and Tomi going first, followed by my team. I braced myself for a lot of squealing on Sakura's part, but was pleasantly surprised to find that she treated it like no big deal, which actually kind of made sense. There'd probably be a lot of times in the future where we'd have to change or wash up in front of each other - shinobi just don't have time to be worrying about segregated bathrooms.

"Haa, I feel like I just shed my skin," I sighed, drying my hair with a towel once I was done.

"Ew, why would you say that?" Sakura cringed.

We headed back downstairs together, where we tagged in Hanjou, Miyako, and Tadashi for their turn.

"Oh, you're back!" Obito greeted with a smile and wave once we returned to the main floor. "Would you guys mind helping me close the shop?"

"Sure," I answered instinctively on behalf of all of us.

"Oh, but don't wear anything that might identify you as shinobi; we don't wanna attract unwanted attention."

 _Good call._

We nodded and slipped on a pair of straw sandals before following him outside. It was a bit chilly, but not enough for me to regret my damp hair. The sun was nearly set and casted long, dark shadows down the quieting roads. People were still walking about and there was still background noise, but it was much quieter than when we'd first arrived. It would've been quaint if we weren't plotting an attack later that night. Instead, the looming darkness made the capital eerie.

"The boxes and wares are labeled with numbers, so you just need to pack them into their respective boxes," Obito explained from the doorway. "I usually have my students around to help me with this part, but of course, they aren't around today," he said with a laugh.

"Students?" Sakura asked as she pulled out a few empty boxes from under the display table.

"Yeah! I teach classes. Most of the stuff in the basement was made by my students," he explained, leaning against the doorframe with a cheerful smile. "A lot of them are cracked and can't be sold, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of them. Good thing I have a big basement, right?" He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

 _He looks so proud,_ I thought distantly _. And happy._

I was still having a hard time accepting the fact that this man was the same man who ruined everything in the original story. He was just so…carefree, like the young Obito I came to know as a third party. I wondered if Kakashi saw it, too. He hadn't taken his turn in the bath, yet, so maybe he was listening. I kind of hoped he was - it might help to know that Obito was content with his new life.

"Maybe you could donate them, or sell them as flower pots," I suggested, pulling out a few boxes myself. "Whoa, what's this?" I gasped, noticing an intricate statue that was placed by the entrance of the shop. It was behind the display table, so I couldn't have seen it the first time we were passing by. "The details are incredible…"

"Haha, thanks!" Obito grinned.

"Wait, you made this?" I asked in disbelief. "I mean, I knew you were good, but _damn._ "

The statue was of a serpent dragon, whose body was coiled protectively around a single flower that sprouted from a rock, which served as the base of the statue. Its mouth was closed, but I could see parts of its teeth showing through the natural gaps from the way its jaws fit together. Every single one of the dragon's scales was individually carved, but that wasn't all there was to the statue - the flower was the sort that had dozens of petals layered on top of each other. It was carved so carefully that there were even gaps between the layers, adding depth and texture to the sculpture. None of the petals were obstructed by the dragon's hands, which were hovering just above the flower, as though it were shielding it from something. It was even painted, although not very much. Most of it was coated in a dark bronze finish, but the flower petals were painted magenta with white tips.

"Whoa…" Sakura gasped, peering at the statue from the other side. "Wait, I think I've seen these around the city before. A lot of other stores had statues similar to this one, with the dragon and the zinnia."

"Zinnia?"

"Yeah, it symbolizes loyalty," she explained. "This one in particular is called the hidden dragon zinnia, I think."

"You sure know a lot, Sakura-chan," Obito said, impressed. "You're sharp, too! All the stores that are owned by members of the program have a statue. Each one is unique and were all made by me," he said with a wide grin.

"Geez, isn't that, like, hundreds of 'em?"

Obito laughed. "Almost! There's more members than there are businesses. I got my students to help with some of the easier parts, though. These statues were less about quality and more about the meaning behind it - a show of our community and whatnot. The program is actually named Hyakunichisou, after the flower, I think also to symbolize longevity."

"Longevity?" I asked.

He nodded. "Hyakunichi is written with the same kanji as 'a hundred days.'"

I nodded thoughtfully. "What about the dragon? And why the hidden dragon zinnia?"

Obito hummed uncertainly before shrugging. "Hmm…I'm not sure, actually. You'd have to ask someone else about that. I think it's just because it looks cool!" he laughed. "Oh, could you put it on the table? I'll show you something really special about it!"

As requested, Sakura picked up the statue with great care and set it on the table, where Obito could reach it more easily.

"See, right now the dragon's mouth is closed," he said, "but if you push the middle of the flower right here…"

There was a faint click, and the dragon's mouth fell open with a thud. It didn't just open, either - it also revealed a small wooden box inside, which slid down to the tip of the mouth and got caught by the dragon's long fangs. I gasped in awe of the sharp teeth that were fitted so perfectly that the mouth could open and close with such ease.

"No way!" I exclaimed, leaning in to get a closer look. "How do you even make something do that?! This is beyond cool!"

"What's in the box?" Sasuke asked, poking his head in from next to Obito.

"Oh, just a small memento of sorts," he answered, taking the box out. He snapped it open revealing a small metallic shard that reflected the light coming from the house.

"What is it?" Sakura asked.

"It kinda looks like a piece of a knife, or something," I murmured. It was more or less a polygon, with one side thin and sharp while the other was slightly thicker. It looked battered and dirty, but not completely lost to time. "What's it from?"

Obito shrugged. "Apparently I had it on me when I was found at the entrance of the capital. I've been told that it's the shard of some kind of blade, but it's hard to tell from just this small bit. " Sakura and Sasuke looked up at this, confused. I quickly followed suit, if only to blend in. "Truth be told, I'm not from here - at least, not from the capital, I don't think. And I don't remember where I was from. The first memory I have is waking up in the hospital, where I was missing almost my entire right side and my left eye. Apparently there was a war going on then, so some people thought I was a shinobi while others thought I was a casualty. Either way, I never regained my memories, so I guess it doesn't really matter who I used to be, haha!"

I bit my lip and said nothing which, thankfully, wasn't a weird response. It would've been hard to find a way to respond to that even if I didn't know who he really was.

"That must've been scary…" Sakura murmured for a lack of anything better to say. Her downcast expression didn't last very long, however, because she suddenly made a face of disbelief and squinted at him. "Wait, is that why you're named Hidari?"

Obito immediately burst into a short fit of laughter as he closed the box. "Ha! Yeah, I thought of it myself. Pretty great, huh?"

Sakura made a face that told me she thought otherwise. Sasuke didn't seem to appreciate the humour, either. As for me, the realization suddenly sank in and I snorted. "Holy shit," I snickered, covering my mouth with my hand. "Because this is _all that's left of him!_ "

I just about died, but quickly regained my composure after receiving a scolding glare from Sakura.

"Exactly!" Obito cackled, patting my back. "There's no use moping about stuff I don't even know, right? So I thought I might as well have fun with it. Life goes on, after all~"

 _I guess it does, huh._

Now that I thought about it, it was pretty obvious that Obito was living his own life beyond Konoha and the Uchiha clan. He seemed happy to not know what he'd forgotten, either, and at this point, I wondered if it would even do him any good. Rin and Minato were dead, and his entire clan had been killed. It just didn't seem fair to constantly tie him to a past he neither remembered nor longed for, even if he didn't know I was doing it.

Yeah. He was a totally different person, now. It would probably be easier on me, too, if I started thinking about him that way.

"Anyway," Hidari said, placing the box back in the dragon's mouth. "All the statues outside the stores have compartments like this. If there's something inside, the mouth will be closed. If it's empty, it stays open. Pretty nifty, right?"

After suddenly getting his backstory like that, I'd almost forgotten how we even got to that point in the first place. "Super cool," I said instead, because that much was still true.

"Kanjaku said that Sagi frequents the businesses a lot, right?" Sasuke asked out of the blue, catching our attention. "What if she hid the ledger in one of the statues?"

The rest of us fell silent as we exchanged looks.

"Oh," I said absently. "Oh dang."

"Good idea, Sasuke," Kakashi said, showing up out of nowhere and startling all of us. "You three should keep an eye out for those statues while you're executing the plan."

"Dude, how long have you been there?!" I hissed, hand still against my chest from being caught off guard.

Kakashi rolled his head away and shrugged. "Hyakunichisou is a nice name for the program."

I frowned. _So, like, from the very beginning._

Which meant he heard everything Hidari had to say about his life and how he got here.

…Yeah, it was probably better for me not to try and consider how he felt about it.

"I came to tell Hidari-san that the bath is available, but I didn't want to interrupt," Kakashi said, his one eye crinkling as he smiled.

"Oh, thanks! I'll leave this to the rest of you, then," Hidari said, swiftly patting our heads in succession with his one arm before limping his way back inside.

Once Hidari was inside, Kakashi gave us a smile and waved. "Make sure not to break anything! Those sure look expensive," he said before closing the door behind him.

I stuck my tongue out at the door. "Jerk."

"Let's hurry up," Sasuke said, pulling out the boxes out from underneath the table. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can prepare for tonight."

Sakura and I nodded and quickly got to work.

It wasn't too long afterwards, however, when we were interrupted by someone from outside.

"Oh, no! Are you closing up already?" a pleasantly warm voice asked. The three of us looked up from packing Hidari's various wares to see a woman with light blonde hair, which was the most eye-catching part about her. Her eyes were blue, but they weren't particularly piercing, and her clothes were earthy, muted colours that blended in with the rest of the citizens. There wasn't anything that stood out about her, other than the fact that she felt approachable.

"Um, yeah!" Sakura answered. "Sorry, we're just helping. The shop's owner is inside. Should I get him for you?"

The woman laughed and waved her hand. "Oh, no worries! I just thought I'd stop by to say hi to Hidari-kun, but it looks like he's busy, so it's fine."

We paused and blinked at her curiously. "Are you a friend of his?" I asked.

It would've been alarming if not for the fact that a skillful one-armed potter was probably rare, so it made sense that locals would know him by name, especially since it seemed like he made all sorts of stuff. His prices were pretty high, too, and many of the pieces were intricate enough that I could only see them being displayed as decoration instead of actually being used.

"I'm familiar with him," she answered. "His work is pretty popular around the capital," she said, leaning over to take a closer look at the wares that were still on display before pointing at a teapot Sasuke was holding. "Oh, do you mind if I take a look at that one?"

Without any particular reason to say no, Sasuke carefully set the pot in the woman's hands. As he did so, however, the woman took the pot with one hand and caught Sasuke's hand with the other. The movement was so fluid that it didn't even strike me as something unnatural until I reminded myself that suddenly being grabbed by a stranger wasn't normal. The way Sasuke tensed told me that he was very aware of this, too, but before he could pull away, the woman released his hand just as quickly as she'd grabbed it.

"Oh, your hands look like you work hard," she commented, no longer paying attention to the teapot she'd asked to see. "Are you three students of Hidari-kun, by any chance?"

"No, we're not," Sakura answered politely.

"Are you shinobi, then?" the woman asked before she could give a cover story. "Did Hidari-kun hire you to do a mission for him? That'd be exciting!"

"We're not shinobi," Sasuke lied smoothly. "We're helping him load a cart to transfer some of his wares. We're going to sell them in Konoha."

 _Ah, the merchant lie._

The woman was sticking around a little too long for comfort, but even if she was just a fan of Hidari's work, it wasn't a good idea for us to say that we were shinobi, especially after Hidari specifically told us not to.

"Do shinobi visit the capital often?" Sasuke asked shortly afterwards, evidently calm and unalarmed enough to get some basic intel from the local.

 _Nice, that might be useful._ It'd be good to know how common it was for the capital's citizens to see shinobi. There was nothing peculiar about seeing clones running about in Konoha, but it might matter in the capital.

The woman picked up another teapot and shrugged. "They come and go, but Konoha naturally has way more," she said. "The ones that do pass through, though…" Before she could finish, her eyes flickered up at the door just as it slid open.

When we looked back, Hidari was standing at the doorway with a towel around his neck, body frozen in place as he wore a stiff smile. "Ah, shit."

The air suddenly went cold and when I looked back at the woman, a shiver went down my spine as she continued where she'd left off with a complacent glint in her eyes. "…They're usually higher rank, so I was wondering what you adorable little genin were doing here." The woman smiled, and although it looked exactly like the one she wore before, this one was devoid of all warmth. Her continuously pleasant voice made the exchange even more chilling. "Long time no see, Hidari-kun! Do you happen to have more valuable wares at the back?"

My teammates and I exchanged looks, unsure of what was going on until Hidari dropped the bomb.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid I don't allow customers inside," he said with a tight smile. "Even if it's you, Sagi-san."

I think I might've died a little inside. My blood ran cold and I couldn't help but stare at her in blatant disbelief and shock.

That woman.

The one with the warm smiles and the aura that was so approachable that even _Sasuke_ didn't act hostile towards her.

 _That_ woman.

Was the corrupt woman who turned an honest charity program into a drug cartel and sent assassins after a sixteen-year-old girl.

I swallowed and finally found it in me to look away.

 _You have_ got _to be kidding me._

"I'll give you all points for effort, at least," she said, eyes lazily scanning the three of us who were still frozen in place behind the display table. "You went through a lot of trouble to avoid getting caught. Too bad my people are everywhere. You were caught the second you walked through those gates with Takara-chan on your back," Sagi said, her dull gaze settling on Sakura.

Sakura flinched, but didn't falter. Sagi's words were sharp, but her demeanour was still relaxed. I didn't need to be a genius to know that she was mocking us - sizing us up.

"It's hard to miss the elite Hatake Kakashi, too, especially when he shows up with so many people," she said with a small shrug.

 _Shit, does she know about Miyako and Tadashi after all?_

"Although that does explain a lot," she continued. "I guess I'll just have to make better preparations on my end. I can't have you stealing my things without putting up a fight, after all."

I wanted to ask what exactly it explained, but kept my mouth shut. It was hard to tell what she knew - or what she thought she knew, like whether or not she was aware that Miyako and Tadashi were with us - but I barely even knew how to talk to those two, let alone the very antagonistic mastermind who was confident enough to approach us alone.

"Why are you here?" Hidari demanded, dropping his polite façade. "If you know that Kakashi-san is here, then you know that you don't stand a chance."

"You only have so many options right now," Sagi retorted, casually examining a teapot as she spoke, "and none of them really allow for brute force, so I wonder if you really have that much of an advantage?"

Nobody said a word. We simply stared her down, watching her every move as she put down the teapot and picked up a bowl to examine next.

"But…whatever. I just came to tell you not to keep me waiting too long," she said with a shrug before looking up at us with the same smile as before. "I'm a busy person, after all."

"You should go, then," Hidari said, voice low and borderline threatening.

Sagi set the bowl down and held her hands up in defence. "I was just leaving," she said, backing away from the shop. She left with a wave and another smile. "Tell Hanjou I say hi."

 _Shit._

It didn't take long for all of us to gather in the basement again for an emergency meeting.

"I don't know if she knows about you guys," I said, pointing to Miyako, Tadashi, and Kanjaku, "but she definitely knows about Hanjou."

"It should only be me," Hanjou said. "When we arrived last night, Sadame and Tomi were in the wagon with Kanjaku. We brought him straight inside - nobody should've seen him."

"What about us?" Miyako asked. "She said that Hatake-san showed up with 'so many people,' but that doesn't necessarily mean she knows it's us."

"If she didn't see me and Sadame arrive at the capital with Hanjou, it's possible she might think that the two extra people with Kakashi-san were us instead of you," Tomi said. "I think she's far more likely to assume that Kakashi killed both of you and mistaken you for us, especially since you two looked more like merchants than assassins when you arrived."

"It doesn't matter what she does or doesn't know," Kakashi said, voice low and serious. "We'll continue with the original plan: Takara, Sadame, and Tomi are getting the will; Kanjaku, Miyako, and I are attacking the barn and using Tsumi to move the opium; and my team are going with Hanjou and Tadashi to steal the ledger."

"But half of the plan relied on us being able to ambush Sagi because she wouldn't be expecting us," Tadashi said. "We've lost the element of surprise."

Kakashi shook his head. "Not necessarily. So long as we play our cards right, she won't suspect that you two are there at all." His single eye settled on the three of us as he added, "We'll just need to make a slight modification to your roles. Satoko," he asked, looking at me, "what bombs do you have left?"

I gasped softly and slowly brought my hands to my chest. "I thought you'd never ask."

When the clock finally turned, I was sitting at the table in the basement with a few others, drumming the table with my fingertips. To say I was anxious was putting it lightly. It was more like my entire body was hit by a freight train and then struck by lightning, repeatedly. I couldn't sit still at all and started shaking my legs, too, until someone set a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Satoko."

I jumped and looked back to see who the hell almost made me shit myself.

"Hanjou-san," I greeted with a clenched jaw.

"Take a deep breath," she instructed. I did as I was told and let it out in a long sigh. "You'll be fine."

I swallowed and nodded, stuffing my hands in my pockets so I'd stop fidgeting with them.

"Yeah," I huffed, taking another deep breath. "Thanks."

I turned to Sakura and saw that she was sitting unnaturally still, eyes fixated on the table and nothing else.

"Sakura-chan?" I asked quietly, nudging her gently with my elbow. Her head snapped up and she blinked away whatever daze she was in. "You okay?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. "Yeah, I'm fine." She looked away when she said this.

I flashed her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Sasuke and I are still gonna be there! There's no way we're gonna let anything happen to you, no matter what. Right, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha nodded. He looked pissed, but not at us. I don't think he appreciated being fooled by Sagi's demeanour. None of us did, but Sasuke was the type to take things way too personally. To be fair to him, though, out of all of us, I did expect him to be the one to smell something fishy, which only showed how skilled of a manipulator Sagi was.

 _And how much of a creep she is._

"Everybody ready?" Kakashi asked from the back entrance. Everybody turned to face him and responded with nods. "Alright, then. Let's get started."

I slipped off the stool with a huff and checked to make sure all my equipment was in place. With everyone as ready as can be, my nerves were already settling. Yeah, we'd be fine. Piece of cake.

As a final boost in morale, I punched my right hand into my left fist and grinned.

"Let's sink this bitch."

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Happy New Years! May 2017 give us and Satoko the break we all deserve.

Also PLEASE let me know if there are any typos, even if it's a formatting thing like a space that shouldn't be there. The chapter's particularly long so even after being edited three times there's bound to still be some mistakes ;;


	19. The Roof, the Roof

**Summary** : Satoko tries to have conversations with people she shouldn't be having conversations with. Sasuke fails to learn from his mistakes. Sakura is generally a badass and is really the only one who has her shit together.

* * *

Takara's team was the first to head out, followed by Kakashi's team, and then mine. We walked down the quiet streets in our civilian disguises, keeping an eye out for the businesses on Kanjaku's list. There was no time to get or make a proper map, so finding the right shops and restaurants was a bit of a struggle. Finding the ones with close-mouthed statues was harder still, but at least we had no problem blending in with the crowd.

It was no surprise that the capital's nightlife was bustling. The majority of the businesses on the street were still open, and looked like they would be open for a while. Young adults and teenagers mingled about while some elderly folks made themselves comfortable in tea shops and bars. There were even a few parents taking their kids out - tourists, I assumed.

"Careful not to bump into anybody," I said to Sakura, gesturing for her to stay close.

"Right," she nodded. "Man, I hope this plan works."

"Don't jinx it," I hissed.

We found the first close-mouthed statue after a few minutes of walking down the street, and I made sure to make a bit of a scene about going over to inspect it, just in case somebody was looking.

"Hey, this place looks nice!" I said, approaching the restaurant. "D'you think they have seats?"

"Doesn't look like it," Sasuke said, double-checking the name of the restaurant with the one on the list. "I'll ask how long the wait is."

That was my cue to examine the statue while Sasuke had the host distracted. Sakura came with me, disguised to be just a bit taller than her usual height so she could subtly hide what I was doing just a bit better. While she leaned against the counter to block the host's view, I put on a bit of an act to pretend I'd only just noticed the statue, then curiously prodded at the teeth and petals before pressing the switch. I feigned surprise when the mouth popped open and tried not to look disappointed when all that came out was a certificate of some sort.

"Hey, what're you doing?" the host suddenly asked, and I scrambled to push the certificate back in and close the statue's mouth. "Please don't touch that, it's quite delicate."

"Sorry! I was just curious," I said with a meek grin.

"I told you not to!" Sakura hissed, for once not genuinely annoyed, before looking back at Sasuke. "Should we wait?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It'll take too long. Let's find somewhere else," he answered, rejoining us after thanking the host. "Let's go."

It felt like we spent forever walking up and down the streets, putting on an act while going into every other business under the guise of exploring them. I was starting to run out of fake conversation topics, and the anticipation of waiting to be spotted was killing me. It put me on edge, which made me all the more sensitive to every little sound around me. Especially the not-so-little sounds, like the squealing of a small child getting their mother's attention.

"Mama, look! Kitty!"

I flinched and looked over at the child, who was pulling at his mother's sleeve. Sure enough, there was a small calico scurrying away from the tiny human, clearly not wanting to be touched.

"Calm down," Sasuke muttered, barely sparing a glance at the small commotion.

"Man, gimme a break; I almost died like, five times last night," I muttered back. "So what if I'm a little on edge."

"You weren't the only one in danger," he retorted.

"Yeah, well," I started, but then found that it was pretty hard to win the argument when I was talking to the guy who'd seen his parents murdered by his older brother when he was just seven years old. "Just remember that it was _my_ glitter bomb that ultimately saved your ass," I said instead, because like hell I was ever going to let him forget that.

Sasuke scoffed and said nothing more, directing his attention instead to the list of store names and the signs we passed by. We stopped every so often to examine a statue, pulling a similar routine each time. The redundancy would've been bad form if that wasn't the point, and it was a good thing it _was_ the point, because there were only so many ways I could mess with the obviously-valuable statue without permission.

At the same time, I thought about what my clones were doing. They were hidden around the village, some in disguises and others not, scouring the streets for any signs of Sagi or any potential subordinates. I was staying on guard for any potential influx of information that might come from any dispelled clones, which is precisely what happened once we check the fifth building or so.

"Shit," I whispered under my breath. "A clone reported back. Sagi has Takara and Sadame, but Tomi escaped with the will, at least."

Sasuke clicked his tongue. "Keep your guard up."

I nodded, pretending to stretch while I took a good look at the people around us. There wasn't anybody who seemed to be following us, but in the crowds of the capital's nightlife, it was pretty hard to tell if I'd seen the same person twice or not.

It wasn't until we reached the end of the night market that the next wave of memories rushed back to me, this time of other parts of the capital I'd never visited before. I recalled the series of images, one of which put Sagi near a closed souvenir shop we passed a few minutes ago.

 _About damn time. What the hell took her so long?_

Now all that was left was for Sagi to move the ledger and hide it somewhere else. Once my clone fed the new location to Hanjou and Tadashi, it'd dispel to let me know that the job was done, and we'd be on our merry way.

We found another statue on the next block. We were getting to the end of the marketplace, where the street was darker and the crowds had thinned. Only a few people were loitering about, but we could still see and hear the bustling coming from up the street.

"She's close, by the way," I whispered, approaching the statue while Sasuke and Sakura shielded me. "Couldn't mention earlier because of the crowds, but she was a few shops behind us."

"Has she moved the ledger yet?" Sasuke asked just as quietly.

I shook my head. "I think she's about to, though. She must be retrieving it by now," I said while doing my best to stay natural as I examined the statue. Like usual, its mouth opened with a dull click with I pressed the flower. It pushed out a brown envelope that was rolled up and bound with twine. I untied it and opened the envelop, removing the white notebook inside. I froze. "Orrr not?"

I removed the envelop and held it up so my teammates could see. "We weren't supposed to actually find this, were we?"

"No, we weren't," Sasuke agreed, looking stiffer than usual. "Something's not right."

I frowned. "Y'don't say."

"I'll be taking that," a calm voice said, startling us into spinning around.

 _And there she is._

It was a good thing being subtle wasn't part of the plan, because I was too alarmed to even think about hiding the ledger behind my back. Sagi greeted us with a laidback smile. She would've looked pleasant and approachable if not for the fact that I knew exactly the kind of shit she'd done, which made her all the more threatening.

"It's not nice to go snooping around through people's private belongings, you know."

We dispelled our transformations, seeing as the gig was up and there was no point in draining our chakra more than necessary.

"Not nice to kill a bunch of people just so you can sell more drugs, either," I retorted, grip tightening around the ledger. "You think we're gonna hand this over without a fight?"

"I'd rather not disturb the neighbourhood," Sagi said, her half-lidded eyes glancing to the side just briefly. It was a silent command, but it was brief enough that by the time any of us registered it as such, we were already being surrounded.

A man and a woman emerged from a nearby alleyway and loomed over us, a silent threat not to move.

"We're shinobi," Sasuke said stiffly, warning her against trying to harm us.

Although we were away from the main crowd, there were still witnesses, and more than enough light for everybody to see our faces. I figured that, logically, the chances of her actually starting a fight were low. Even so, we weren't really in any position to go on the offense, either - I didn't want to take my chances on what kinds of hidden weapons they might have stowed in their sleeves, and if she dealt with opium, she could reasonably have access to knockout drugs, too.

"Relax. Even I wouldn't try getting away with Konoha's genin. Especially not _you,_ " she said, staring pointedly at Sasuke.

Sasuke's eye twitched in annoyance while I was just surprised at the implication of her words. Then again, Sasuke wore his clan symbol like a target on his back, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. I did wonder if she knew about Kurama, though. It didn't seem like it, seeing as how she more or less dismissed me, but I was definitely okay with that.

"That's literally treason, after all, and I'm nothing if not patriotic," Sagi said with a smile. "Takara-chan, though…" she continued, tilting her head thoughtfully. She looked annoyingly relaxed. "Well, she's still in the way, you know? Last night didn't go as planned."

I narrowed my eyes. "What're you talking about, lady?" I asked, even though I had a very good idea what she was talking about. I just needed some time to process the situation - that Takara was likely taken hostage.

Sagi laughed, rubbing the back of her head and looking inappropriately sheepish, as if she'd forgotten to buy the milk or take out the trash. "Well, I knew she'd want to get the will, and it's not like Saa-chan or Tomi-chan are in good shape anymore. It was pretty easy to capture her, you know? I didn't really want to resort to holding hostages, but it makes life a little easier. So, anyway, it'd be great if the three of you could cooperate."

"How do we know you really have her?" Sakura demanded.

"You don't," Sagi admitted with a shrug, "but it's up to you whether or not you'd like to call my bluff."

I exchanged a long, silent stare with my teammates before reluctantly handing over the ledger with gritted teeth, because it was better to act on the assumption that Takara's life was in danger.

 _Hanjou and Tadashi had better break even and get the ledger._

"I'll leave the rest to you," Sagi said to her two subordinates, slipping the ledger into her sleeve. "Meanwhile, I'm going to put this somewhere safe and sound." She spoke with a soft smile, enunciating her last words with sharp clarity. I had a feeling it was her way of rubbing it in our faces.

"Damn it," I hissed, begrudgingly letting the woman strip me of my weapons.

"Take care~" Sagi smiled and waved before she left, her voice not even a little bit malicious, unlike her actions.

The subordinates had us walk in between them, with the woman in the front and the man behind us. To anybody who saw, we would've looked like a group of people enjoying the nightlife - just three kids out and about with their relatives, or something. I wondered if anybody would notice the kunai hidden in their sleeves if they looked at just the right time, though.

After a few minutes of being taken hostage, the crowds thinned and the lights dimmed. We were walking through what looked like the more residential areas, and soon I realized that we were headed towards the barns. It was starting to get too quiet for comfort, so like any good hostage, I started talking.

"Why do you work for her, anyway?" I asked out of the blue, keeping my voice low and even. They didn't answer at first, so I egged them on a little - not just to be annoying, but because we'd been wrapping our heads around the whole situation for hours on end and I still had no clear idea why so many people were willing to follow Sagi after all that she'd done. "I mean, you _do_ know she killed Takara's mom, right?"

There was another long silence. I knew that physically our footsteps could only be so loud, but they sounded like drums beating in my skull in that moment.

"Sagi-san provides us with a living," the man said, his voice low as to not attract unwanted attention. "We've been better off ever since she got involved with the program."

"Maybe, but at what cost?" I pressed, frowning.

"Is this your first mission outside the village?" the woman asked. I nodded. "I thought so. Perhaps you'll have a better understanding of what it means to be a shinobi once this is over."

I squinted my eyes and frowned. I was never really a fan of vague, cryptic answers, but I had an idea of what exactly she meant. I already knew, at least from looking in on this world from the outside, that nothing about it was black and white. Even so, you'd think these once-honourable shinobi would draw the line at following someone who kills an innocent person to get what they want. Then again, not all shinobi were necessarily honourable in the first place. Mizuki certainly wasn't.

 _I wonder how common it is for shinobi to abuse their power the way cops do._

"That sounds like something someone who can't be assed to make the right choice would say," I finally said, keeping my head up and eyes forward as the woman turned around with a glare. I made a point to not look away. "I think you forgot what it means to be a shinobi."

The woman clicked her teeth, and I ignored the scolding glared I was getting from Sasuke - a silent demand to shut up hell up.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she said. "Much like how a unit leader will have to make hard calls in the field, people have to make difficult choices all the time, for the greater good. That's all Sagi-san is doing. Without her, the program would have dissolved."

"Without her, Ryoukuna would still be alive and we wouldn't be here trying to clean up the mess," I countered.

"Without her," the man interjected firmly, "many of us would be starving, or living on the streets, or dead. Sometimes it's all you can do just to survive."

I bit my lip. I had a lot to say about that, because true as that may be, I'd like to think that they still held...standards, so to speak. That maybe they wouldn't want their food to come at the expense of the death of a civilian. But I couldn't find the right words to respond with, so I didn't. I mean, I still didn't know how to feel about Kakashi having killed the assassins from last night, and that was life or death.

 _Maybe that's just how they're wired to think, that everything is life or death._

Maybe it would make sense if I started thinking that way, too. But I couldn't find it in me to switch gears like that, so I didn't.

The walk continued in silence. I spent the entire time dwelling over what the man and woman had said, not registering that we'd made it to the outskirts of the capital until they stopped us so they could bind our hands. Now that we were away from the crowds, there was no point in pretending we weren't being captured, I supposed, but that was to be expected.

What I didn't expect, however, was to be brought to the barns again. The barn that stored the opium was within sight, but the woman led us to the next one over. I could just make out Kakashi's figure in the distance, and only by the shape of his overly voluminous hair, but he didn't show any signs of noticing us. I would've called out to him so I could at least tell him about Takara, but then, knowing that she was in danger made that seem like a horrible idea rather than just a bad one.

We were brought to a shed nearby, following such a path that we were out of Kakashi's potential line of sight for most of it. The woman opened the door and glared at us until we walked in, no fuss no muss. My teammates and I briefly exchanged glances before the woman closed the door behind us, leaving only us and the man in the shed. It was much smaller than the barn, but still large enough that there was a canopy layered with straw. It was empty besides a pile of large bags of what I assumed was opium, a few barrels and boxes off to the side, and the oil lamp that was sitting on them.

"Sit down," he said, crossing his arms.

Now that I finally got a good look at him, I saw that he was missing three fingers on his left hand, leaving only his index and thumb. The rest of his arm didn't look any better. It was covered in patches of skin that were discoloured and scarred - from a fire, maybe - and his bicep had an entire chunk seemingly carved out of it. I tried not to stare, but it was pretty hard to look away. It didn't take him long to notice my staring, to which he clicked his teeth and absently rolled his left shoulder, looking away.

Sasuke and Sakura took a seat on the opium. I plopped down next to Sakura so that she was between the two of us, hands still tied behind my back. It seemed like the plan was just to sit here until the situation outside sorted itself out, so naturally, I tried to chat up the man to kill the time.

"So," I said, leaning back so I could look up at the man towering over us, "why'd you join the program?"

The man glowered at me like I was stupid, like maybe I hadn't seen how horribly disfigured his arm was. I liked to think it was at least a little bit thoughtful, to actually ask him about it instead of just assuming things. That being said, he didn't answer and instead pointedly ignored me. I huffed and looked at my teammates, who opted to wait in silence like decent captives. I, on the other hand, wasn't about to let this opportunity slide. I need info on this world, at least for future reference, and while being captured wasn't exactly ideal, the actual threat against our well-beings was pretty low. I felt safe enough, at least, to keep bugging the guy for some answers.

"I mean, I can take a guess, I suppose," I said dismissively, rolling my neck. "The program - Hyakunichisou, right? - Takara's mom started it with Kanjaku so they could give veteran shinobi like you a second chance at life. Is this how you're gonna use their kindness, by turning a blind eye to Ryoukuna's death, watch Kanjaku get threatened into submission, watch Sagi turn something good into something rotten?"

He still said nothing, but I saw his eyebrow twitch, so at least I knew he was listening.

I hummed thoughtfully, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to figure out where to begin. "I mean, there's gotta be a reason you're still willing to work for her. Maybe you have family you need to provide for? Or maybe you need a lot more medicine than the program's standard amount for your arm-"

"Don't make me gag you," the man glowered, crossing his arms.

"Satoko," Sasuke said with a warning edge to his voice, but I ignored him.

"C'mon, I finally got him to talk," I said with a grin, brushing Sasuke off. I turned back to the man, who'd finally answered. "So I was right, then?"

"The medication Sagi-san provides depends on the individual," he snapped, voice sharp and irritated. "Those who need more, get more. I'm not doing this for anything extra, if that's what you're thinking." He looked away, his brows deeply furrowed. "Sagi-san isn't like that."

"Isn't like that?" I repeated. "She killed Takara's mom."

The man clicked his tongue in annoyance and went back to crossing his arms. "Your simple-mindedness is getting on my nerves."

"Then explain it to me," I insisted, inching forward on the bag. "I mean, the program couldn't have been doing _that_ badly before Sagi came along. Isn't it great that Takara's mom created something like this at all? Aren't you even a little bit thankful?"

He grit his teeth, but his glowering softened just the slightest bit. "There's a lot that you genin wouldn't understand. Of course I'm grateful for what Ryoukuna-san did. We all are."

I leaned back and tilted my head, silently urging him to continue. Sasuke and Sakura remained silent, their attention either divided or simply listening to what he had to say as well.

"We aren't glad that Ryoukuna was killed, and it's not like we wanted it to happen," he continued, shifting his glance to the side, "but we can't deny that it was a step that made the program flourish into what it is now. The program was struggling to provide everybody with both medication and employment. If it weren't for Sagi stepping in, most of us would have to have been removed from the program and starving by now. We've been able to afford both ever since."

"So then, it was worth it?" I asked, leaning forward again.

The man looked back, shoulders stiff and eyes on me.

"Doing all of this, continuing with her plans, turning a blind eye to Ryoukuna's murder and the attempt on Takara - it's all worth it, for the sake of the program's success?" I made sure I kept my eyes locked with his as I spoke.

He was silent for a moment before finally speaking again.

"You were attacked, weren't you?" he asked, suddenly flipping the interrogation onto me. I wanted to see where he was going with this, so I nodded. "And your sensei, he killed some of the ones sent to attack you?" I nodded again. "Because if those assassins didn't die, you would've died instead."

I pressed my lips together as I rolled over those words in my head. "Well, yes," I finally said. "Are you comparing this to Sagi killing Ryoukuna? That if she didn't die, you would've died instead?"

"Our livelihoods weren't guaranteed when the program was led by Ryoukuna and Kanjaku," he said instead. "It's not an easy decision to make, but I do know for a fact that I'm here now, alive and healthy, because of Sagi's decisions. Her methods might not be entirely ethical, but you can't deny that she's helped hundreds of people, and not just with the program. I support the good that she's done for the city's people."

"But she... _murdered_ Ryoukuna." I was started to feel like a broken record, but I was having a hard time trying to process how that didn't seem to faze the man whatsoever.

"If I opposed every person who has done good and who has also killed someone, I'd be a ronin," he said. "People kill to help, save, and protect others - just like how your sensei killed the others to protect you.. That's how this world works; that's what we shinobi do, and it's something that you'll have to do one day, too, if you continue down this road. The success of a mission is often achieved through the death of others."

He stepped towards me, and I made a point to stay put, to not lean back away from him even though he was a little too close for comfort.

"Civilian or not, it's still true that the program improved after Ryoukuna's death," he said. "Shinobi sacrifice themselves for the sake of the mission all the time. Every shinobi who died in the war died for the sake of a better future - for the greater good of the village and country. When you're faced with a decision that makes you choose between one life or a hundred, would you not choose to sacrifice the one life to save that hundred?"

"Bullshit," I sighed. I wanted to rub my hands over my face, suddenly feeling heavy and exhausted, but seeing as they were tied up, I opted for rubbing my face against my shoulder instead. "We're shinobi. We signed up for that kinda shit. We know that death is a possibility. But Ryoukuna, and Takara? They weren't _ever_ supposed to be in danger. They're civilians. Dying isn't part of their job. What Kakashi-sensei did was self-defence; what happened with Ryoukuna was nothing short of murder." I looked up at him, brows furrowed in frustration. I could hear my heart beating in my ears and I couldn't help it when my voice got louder. "How can you possibly act like it's the same thing? Don't tell me you've been retired and corrupt for so long you forgot the difference between friend and foe."

"Quiet down, or I'll gag you," the man sighed heavily, running his two-fingered hand through his hair. "My friend outside was right; maybe you'll get it after you're done with this mission."

I huffed, blowing a loose strand of hair out of my face. "If that's the way I'll end up thinking, I don't think I wanna get it," I said, glancing away. I shuffled back in my seat and slouched. "I mean, I can at least understand that Miyako and Tadashi need the money, but you-"

"What?"

In a blink of an eye, the tension skyrocketed and I suddenly found it harder to breath.

 _...Oh, wait._

Sasuke snapped his head towards me and I could feel the daggers he was glaring at me.

 _Shit. I fucked up._

"Miyako and- how did you get those-" the man started, standing over me, but it didn't take him very long to put two and two together. He clicked his tongue. "Guess your sensei didn't kill _all_ of them."

I swallowed, looking up at the man with wide eyes, unsure of how to fix the situation. "Uh oh."

 ** _I fucked up._**

"You idiot!" Sasuke hissed, but there was no time for scolding. The man was already headed for the door, surely to alert Sagi that we had an extra card up our sleeves. "Sakura!"

With no hesitation, Sakura got up from her seat and charged at the man, who spun around with his arms raised in defense. He'd quickly realize that he didn't really need to defend himself, however, because shortly after Sakura tackling him to the ground, she disappeared into a puff of smoke, and all of this evening's events, but from her perspective, came rushing back to me.

"What the-?!"

Sasuke and I were already following suit, cut ropes falling from our wrists as we tag-teamed the man before he could get back up again. He was fairly large and was hard to subdue even with the two of us, however, so when the woman came in to check in on the ruckus, I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Move!" Sasuke shouted, and I lowered my head instinctively, just in time to hear a kunai whizz by me. He lunged at the woman, attacking just in time to stop her from getting any closer, leaving me to hold my own against the man.

I scrambled to pull the kunai out of the ground, but he was predictably fast enough to grab my wrist before I could retrieve it and pulled it behind my back.

"The third one must be nearby," he called out to the woman as he pinned me to the ground.

"Okay, _that_ info I'm not gonna let slip," I coughed, gasping at the weight of his knee on my back. I struggled against him, but with only one arm to push back with, it was hard to get any leverage. "Man, get off me!"

"Unlikely," the man grumbled, pulling both my arms behind my back. I winced, desperately trying to figure out what options I had to escape. "Maybe I should just knock you out."

"And give me a concussion? No thanks," I bit out, struggling against his grip.

"Where's your teammate?" he demanded, pressing me into the ground.

"Why? Don't you have something you gotta tell Sagi?"

"For all I know she's waiting to ambush me the second I step outside, so I'd rather be prepared," he retorted, now grabbing me by the hair and lifting my head up. "So tell me, is that something I have to worry about, or not?"

I struggled to swallow, knowing that I shouldn't sell out my teammate but also really not enjoying the prospect of getting my head smashed into the ground or anything. Before I could respond with anything, however, soft but rapid footsteps came rushing towards me, and I looked towards the sound just in time to see a furry blur latch onto the man's face.

"What the hell?!"

The man fell back, giving me the freedom to move and roll onto my back so I was in a better position to get back onto my feet, and while I wasn't sure exactly what was going on, the loud meowing gave me an idea of what, or who, was attacking the man.

"Get off me!" the man yelled, throwing the calico off to the side. It hit the side of the shed with a heavy thud, and with another cloud of smoke, revealed none other than Sakura. "So, you were here all along."

"Ow," Sakura winced, though she quickly got back onto her feet. "Satoko, you idiot! Everything was going fine before you screwed up!"

"Sorry! I'll try to make it up to you," I said with a meek grin, keeping my eyes on the man as he got into a defensive position. "After we get outta this mess, though."

Sakura attacked first, drawing the man's attention while I used the opportunity to pull the kunai out of the ground and lunge at his back with it. It felt like my body was moving on its own; I flicked the kunai around in my hand so I could slash at his back, but he spun around to block with his left arm. I instinctively flicked the weapon around my hand and gripped it for stabbing in response and I blocked with my forearm, stopping his momentum so I could attack his bicep. Everything was fine until the kunai pierced deep into his skin and splattered blood across my cheek. I suddenly snapped out of the daze and fumbled, losing my grip on the weapon and getting knocked back with a thwack on the shoulder.

 _Oh god, augh! Ew! What the hell was that!_

I stumbled back, sucking in a deep breath as I processed the feeling of having just stabbed a man. I wiped my face on my shirt and looked back at the man just as he pulled the kunai out without so much as a blink.

 _Okay, so I guess that arm doesn't just_ look _dead._

"A shinobi shouldn't hesitate," he said, pointing the weapon back at me. He closed the distance between us in a blink of an eye, and if it weren't for Sakura attacking his legs from the back to throw off his balance, I was pretty sure I would've lost an ear.

"Satoko, pull yourself together!" she scolded, whipping out a kunai. At least she still had her weapons, and did a much better job at holding up against the man's heavy hits.

I gulped and nodded, once again using the only technique I knew how to do and creating half a dozen clones to overwhelm the man.

 _It's okay,_ I told myself as the man quickly deflected my clones one by one, giving me a few precious seconds to gather my bearings. _Freak out about it later. Right now you've gotta have Sakura's back!_

When the last clone was dispelled, I rushed the man again, attacking from the other side while Sakura continued to use taijutsu against him. Now that we knew that the man didn't feel any pain in his left arm, we focused on his right, aiming for vital areas that would stagger him and give us the upper hand. What Miyako said was right - if it was a one-on-one battle, he would definitely win. We at least had a better chance with the two of us together, but even then, we were struggling.

 _Hang in there, Sasuke - we'll be there in a sec._

Except that it didn't take very long for the man to knock Sakura to the ground long enough to come after me, nor did it take much effort on his part to block my series of kicks and punches, only to counter with a single, hard punch in the gut that sent me flying against the wall with a breathless gasp. I clutched my stomach in pain and struggled to take in an even breath, eyes screwed shut as I tried to ease myself out of the pain.

"Satoko!" I heard Sakura cry, but couldn't break away from her fight.

I cracked my eyes open just enough to see Sakura now keeping herself at a distance from him, using shuriken to keep him dodging and buying herself time while I recovered. I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself onto my feet, ready to send another wave of shadow clones at the man, but before I could, a sudden yell came from Sasuke's direction, drawing both our attentions to the other fight.

"Get away!"

My head was still throbbing from the impact, but I looked up just in time to see Sasuke dodge an attack from the woman. Her dagger cut into the bags of opium instead of Sasuke, and while I expected plant-like substance to come falling out, what came out instead was clouds of white powder. It spread quickly as Sasuke countered, desperately swinging his legs into the woman's so she tripped and fell onto the bags, sending even more of the powder flying up into the air. She became a silhouette as the cloud thickened around her and the last thing I saw was a frantic Sasuke stumbling back, eyes blown wide and hands trembling, creating distance between him and the woman just as he started forming an all-too familiar series of hand signs.

My tongue felt heavy in my mouth and I found myself unable to speak before it was too late.

"Katon-!"

"Sasuke, _don't-!_ "

"-Great Fireball Technique!"

A stream of fire stretched from his lips, and before it could even form into the enormous sphere it was supposed to, it ignited the powder and exploded into a cloud of flames instead. I slammed my eyes shut, covering my face with my arms as I could only hope the fire wouldn't reach me from there. I realized shortly afterwards that the flames never actually touched me, despite the intense heat that washed over me, until I opened my eyes and saw that I could still actually open my eyes.

There was a lot to take in - the flames that had reached the ceiling and were lighting the straw on fire, Sasuke slowly sitting up after having been knocked back by the small explosion, Sakura immediately rushing to his side, the smoke that was quickly starting to fill the shed along with flour and dust - but what caught my attention the most was the woman rolling on the ground, desperately trying to put out the flames that clung to her hair and clothes as she wailed in agony.

The man had already jumped into action, tearing open another bag of flour and emptying it onto the woman. I instinctively braced myself for another explosion, but recalled that it was really only a danger when the powder was suspended in the air, and not in dense amounts. And only after the woman's screaming had been reduced to strangled, dry heaving did I realize, _I need to_ ** _run_** _._

"Sasuke! Sakura" I shouted, finally coming back to my senses enough to get up. The fire only continued to grow and the man, now completely ignoring us, grabbed the woman and had already rushed for the door. I rushed towards my teammates, keeping a wary eye on the fire as it crawled up the rafters and reached the ceiling. There was still a clear path to the exit, but I had no idea how much longer it was going to last. "Sasuke, snap out of it! We need to get outta here!"

"It- He was-" He looked up at me, eyes darting back and forth as he seemed to be coming out of some sort of daze.

I frowned, wondering if I'd misheard him. _He? But Sasuke was fighting the woman..._ Seeing as how we were pressed for time, however, I made a mental note to bring it up again later.

"Sasuke-kun, it's okay! You're safe," Sakura said, carefully resting her hand on his shoulder. "Can you walk? We need to go."

Blink rapidly, Sasuke nodded and thankfully didn't complain when Sakura and I lent him a hand. "I'm fine," he muttered, but immediately staggered once he was on his feet again. Whatever it was that happened, it was still serious enough to leave him disoriented.

"You probably hit your head on the ground," I said. "Sakura, you take his other arm. Let's get going before-"

"Look out!"

Just as I was reaching to pull Sasuke's arm over my shoulder, he instead shoved me away at the same time Sakura pulled him back, just in time for a flaming plank of wood to fall between us. My heart leapt into my throat and I stared wide-eyed at my teammates, who then disappeared behind a curtain of debris that came crashing down after.

There was an awful moment of silence, filled only with the sound of fire eating away at the shed, as I inched away from the fire before it could lick at my skin. Then, Sakura's voice: "We're fine! Get out!"

"But you guys-" I started, only to get cut off by something that came crashing through the front entrance. I spun around, instinctively putting my arms up in defense, but quickly lowered them when I realized it wasn't a threat. At least, I was pretty sure the long-necked quadrupedal creature before me wasn't a threat. "W-What the hell are you?!"

"Rude!" it scoffed, and while I was still stunned by its sudden appearance and the fact that it _talked_ , it snatched the back of my shirt with its teeth and threw me onto its back with ease. "Hold on tight!"

"W-Wait, my teammates are still back there!"

"We'll find a way out!" Sakura shouted, although it didn't make much of a difference - the creature had already started galloping back out the exit, escaping just as a flaming pile of straw fell from the canopy behind us.

I didn't realize how polluted the air in the shed was until I got my first breath of fresh air in a while. I inhaled long and deep, coughing out the impurities that were surely stuck in my lungs. By the time the creature had finally come to a stop, we were several feet away from the flaming shed, where Kakashi and the others were waiting.

"Satoko," he said, sounding breathless as I slid off the back of the creature. His look of relief didn't last very long. "Where are Sasuke and Sakura?"

I coughed, wiping the tears that were starting to gather as they tried to push out the dust and smoke in my eyes. "The shed started collapsing and they got stuck at the back-"

He didn't wait for me to finish my sentence, immediately sprinting towards the shed himself.

"Kakashi-san!" someone yelled after him, but he was already out of earshot.

I followed suit, and within seconds, we arrived at the back of the shed where someone was already waiting.

"Tomi!" I exclaimed, having thought she'd gone AWOL after escaping with the will.

"I can sense them," she said, skipping the pleasantries. "We can break the wall down pretty easily, but the structure is weak."

"It might collapse," Kakashi said, voice tight as he spoke. After just another heartbeat of deliberation, he stepped back and formed a hand seal. There was a shift in the air, and my gut told me it meant he was gathering chakra. "I'll put the fire out. You two, get them out once it's clear. Ready?"

Tomi and I nodded, but just as Kakashi began to make the first hand seal, there was a sudden spike in the air and the wall burst open with a rain of fire and splinters, revealing Sakura carrying a limp Sasuke in her arms.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!" she gasped, nearly crashing into him as she came to a full stop. "S-Sasuke-kun is- he suddenly passed out and-!"

"I'll bring him to the hospital," Tomi said, gesturing for Sakura to hand him over so she could get him on her back. "Is that alright with you, Kakashi-san?"

"Yes, thank you," he said, still sounding stiff, but looking significantly more relaxed than before now that the three of us were visibly alive, at least. He turned to face us again and patted our heads. "I'm glad you're okay. Tell me what happened later - right now, we still have some business to wrap up."

"Ah, she's still..." I started, but the look in Kakashi's eye was the only answer I needed.

Amidst the chaos of escaping a flaming shed and making sure my teammates hadn't been roasted alive, I completely missed how Sagi had also made her way across the field. As we approached her, I saw her two subordinates, each with either Takara or Sadame still held captive. That much, I expected, but what came as a surprise was seeing Miyako out in the open, along with Hanjou and Tadashi standing with Kanjaku and the weird creature I still hadn't gotten a chance to ask about yet.

"Oh? You're missing one," Sagi said once we were close enough, glancing briefly at the shed that was still lighting up the field.

"He's been taken to the hospital," Kakashi answered flatly.

"Ah, that's good to hear. I'd hate for any of you to have gotten hurt," she said, and the weirdest part is, I was pretty sure she genuinely meant it. After hearing what the man had to say about her, though, maybe it wasn't too hard to believe that she actually cared about the well-being of others - it's just that, she was also totally willing to get rid of those who stood in the way of what she thought was right. "Anyway, as I had just finished discussing with Hanjou-san here; you win."

I blinked, certain that I'd misheard. "Ha?"

But no, apparently I hadn't, because the next thing I knew, Sagi was waving her hand dismissively at her subordinates. "Let them go." They did as they were told, and Sadame hastily brought Takara over to our side, but not before shooting Sagi a nasty glare, which she ignored. "No use in keeping a hostage when you guys have the ledger, anyway. I'll admit I didn't expect you to have turned my own people against me. You must be a smooth talker, Hatake-san," she said, flashing him a rather coy smile.

"Actually, it was my student who did most of the talking," he said, patting my shoulder. I tensed, still too dumbstruck to really say anything.

Sagi's half-lidded gaze settled on me and she hummed thoughtfully. "What an impressive team you have," she said, smiling once again. "It makes me feel less bad about getting caught."

"Aren't you even a little bit sorry about what you've done?" Sakura demanded.

Sagi shrugged, crossing her arms as she tilted her head in thought. "Hmm...I'm sorry it had to be this way. And I'm sorry I got caught. But," she said, her gaze suddenly hardening as she glanced at the opium barn, "I'm not sorry for all the people I helped." She slowly trailed her gaze back to Takara and offered a smile. "It'll be hard to keep the program at the level it's at without my deals, you know."

Takara stepped forward, holding her chin up high. "I'll support Hyakunichisou the way my mother intended."

"And I hope that you'll be able to," Sagi said with a nod, "truly. Because otherwise, people like Rokuro and Yui," she said, gesturing to the subordinates still with her, "or Miyako and Tadashi-" she walked towards Takara, meeting her in the middle while the rest of us stood on guard, "-or Saa-chan and Tomi-chan - they'll have a hard time finding somewhere else to go. You'll be responsible for many lives, Takara-chan." Sagi looked down at her with an unusually stern gaze as she asked, "Are you sure you'll be able to protect them?"

The tension in the air was thick, and I could see Takara fidgeting with her fingers, but she didn't break eye-contact and answered with unwavering confidence, "Yes."

Sagi's expression immediately softened, and she smiled once again. "I'm happy to hear that." She closed her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her chest, as if she'd just finished eating a meal. "Alright, then! I'll be headed home now. It's been a long night, and I'd like to make sure Shiori's burns aren't too severe, so if you'll excuse me."

And as if she was tired from a night of socializing with friends, Sagi turned her back to leave, the two named Rokuro and Yui following suit.

"Wait, don't think you can just-!" Sakura started, but Kakashi clapped his hand on her shoulder and shook his head. She looked back up at him and frowned. "I don't understand, are we really just going to let her go so easily?"

"Maa..." Kakashi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's complicated, but for now, we should accept this outcome. Takara is safe, and now that Sagi is out of the picture, she has full ownership of Hyakunichisou. By those standards, our mission is a success."

I shuffled my feet, watching Sagi gradually disappear into the field as she walked too far for the fire's light to reach her.

"Wait...that's it?" I asked, looking up at Kakashi.

He nodded once. "That's it."

I thought about how Protagonist got an entire bridge named after him and huffed, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "You say that, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it."

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Chapter 20 will officially bring this arc to a close and also begin the next arc! Stay tuned for more bad decisions and weaponized cooking ingredients, probably!

Special thanks to phoenixyfriend for beta-ing this chapter in particular for me! And as usual if you're interested in extra content and art, my SATOKO blog is youridiotwriter on tumblr \ o /


	20. You Can't Eat a Bridge

**Chapter Summary** : The Caravan Mission finally comes to a close. Some debriefing happens. Satoko finds out what happened with the Wave Mission. Sorta.

* * *

It wasn't until after nearly an hour of making sure the fire was extinguished and that the opium was secure that I finally got to shower and sleep. The night passed in a hazy blur, all except for one exchange that I'd never forget, even if I wanted to:

"What _is_ that?" I asked, looking at the long-necked creature that had pulled me out of the fire.

The last thing I expected was for the creature to snap its head at me like it understood and say, " _Rude._ "

"Are you a summon?" Sakura asked, just as curious about the bizarre creature before us.

The creature scoffed and rolled its eyes, letting Sadame explain in its stead.

"Oh, I guess you wouldn't recognize her looking like this, huh," Sadame said, petting the summon's head. "This is Tsumi! Although her real name is Chirin."

"Seriously?!" I squinted at Chirin and shuffled to the side to see her neck from the side. "But your neck is so long! Aren't you supposed to be a horse?"

"My father was a giraffe," she said as if it explained everything.

I blinked. "What?"

Were giraffe-horse hybrids even possible? Then again, I supposed it was fair enough for ninja animals to follow a different biology than the animals I was familiar with.

"She was using a transformation technique up until now," Sadame explained.

 _Okay, so we're just gonna pretend that's normal, then._ Although I did wonder if maybe Chirin had siblings with regular necks, but long legs.

"More importantly, where's my thanks?" Chirin huffed. "I saved you, you know. You ought to show some respect, girl."

I was about to retaliate, but shut my mouth and sighed. I hated horses, but now Chirin was sentient, and it _was_ true that she saved my ass, so I could give her that, at least. "Yeah, thanks," I said, doing my best to sound genuine. But then everything else from the mission suddenly came back to me and I scowled again. "Hey, you bit my hair on purpose!"

Sakura pulled me away before I could get into it, although I made sure to glare hard while Chirin batted her thick eyelashes knowing exactly what she'd done.

 _Good thing I'll never have to deal with_ that _thing ever again once this mission is over._

The rest of the night was largely uneventful. We extinguished the fire and made sure the opium was secured before heading back to the center of the capital. Sakura and I tried to go with Kakashi to visit Sasuke at the hospital, but he insisted that we should go back to the pottery shop first to sleep, which was fair - as much as I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything serious going on with my teammate, I could barely keep my eyes open. So, we went back to Hidari's place instead, with almost everybody but Kanjaku and Hanjou spending the night like it was one huge slumber party - except it was all slumber, no party. Exhaustion hit me like a freight train the second my head hit the pillow and I woke up feeling like I'd been encased in cement.

My body felt heavy and my ears were pounding. I yawned, rubbing my eyes as I struggled to open them. When I finally did, I saw that the cold morning light was filling the room, which was surprising - I didn't expect to be waking up before noon.

What was also surprising was the fact that I'd woken up before Sakura. Considering how much of a stickler she was for being punctual, I thought she'd be the one waking me up. Then again, the mission had been long for all of us, especially for her, so she definitely deserved to sleep in a bit. I contemplated falling back asleep myself, but my overly potent stamina cleared my grogginess way more quickly than what I was used to, so I probably wouldn't have been able to, even if I tried. Instead, I got out of bed as carefully as I could so I wouldn't wake Sakura or Takara, who was sleeping soundly on her other side. I left without changing and closed the bedroom door behind me with a soft click, washed up in the bathroom, then went downstairs to see who else was up.

I could hear the chatter of unfamiliar voices, followed by Hidari's distinct laugh, so I assumed he'd already opened the shop. It was a little unexpected, considering how much happened last night, but I supposed business was business, and the worst of the mission was officially over, anyway.

I popped my head through the door and greeted him when he turned around. "G'morning."

"Satoko-chan! Good morning~" Hidari grinned, turning to face me in his seat but not getting up. "How're you feeling? You all looked pretty exhausted when you came back."

"I'm fine. Where're the others?"

"Sadame and Tomi went out to get Hanjou and Kanjaku, Miyako-san and Tadashi-san went out to handle some of their own business, and Kakashi-sensei's just lounging about," he said, then crossed his arms in thought. "I think he might be in kitchen, unless he snuck out while I wasn't paying attention, haha!"

"Thanks, I'll go see him right now," I said, about to duck back into the house before he stopped me.

"Oh, Tadashi-san helped me make breakfast this morning! It's pretty good, so make sure you eat," Hidari said with a smile. "And feel free to eat as much as you want! You deserve a good, warm meal."

I laughed lightly and nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

Sure enough, when I got to kitchen, Kakashi was sitting at the floor table with a cup of tea and his signature book. He looked up from it when I entered and greeted me with a smile.

"Good morning. How're you feeling?"

"Like I got suplexed all the way down to the seventh level of Hell," I answered immediately. He blinked, exasperated, and I flashed him a weak grin and a thumbs up. "But otherwise I'm a-okay. What's for breakfast?"

Kakashi nodded towards the counter where several dishes had been laid out in sets. It was pretty standard, but it was definitely fresh and warm - the rice was fresh from the cooker, the miso soup was kept heated on the stove, the fish was kept sealed in a pan with a lid to retain the heat, and the vegetables were freshly washed and chopped up into bite-sized pieces.

"Haa, it looks so good," I sighed blissfully, scooping out a generous portion of rice and helping myself to a bit of everything else. On top of my stamina, my appetite had also increased significantly since getting a new body.

I served myself breakfast in silence until I was finally seated and muttered a quiet _itadakimasu_ to myself. I took the first few bites in silence to savor the food, but also to go through last night's events in my head. I wanted to talk to Kakashi about it, but not before I collected my thoughts.

First and foremost, I was concerned about Sasuke. Something wasn't right in the way he was acting. He was visibly distressed in a way I'd never seen him before, and when I got to him after the fire started... I distinctly remembered what Sasuke said.

 _"It- He was-"_

I frowned around a pickled cucumber and sighed to myself again, this time troubled.

 _Who's "he?"_

I paused, chewing on the tips of my chopsticks as I thought of the only person it possibly _could_ be, then frowned even more deeply.

 _Man, I don't even know what to do about the Chuunin Exams yet, let alone_ him.

"Satoko?" Kakashi suddenly said, startling me out of my thoughts. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

I blinked, regaining my composure before shaking my head. "Uh, no, not really. I was just wondering how Sasuke was doing," I said, glancing down at my food. "He didn't look severely injured, but..."

Kakashi tilted his head in thought. "The medics didn't find any serious injuries, either, external or internal. They said he just needed to rest, and that we could pick him up in the morning."

"Did you go see him yet?"

He shook his head. "No, I thought it'd be nicer if we went as a team."

I nodded, and although I found the sentiment to be nice, I continued to frown. Kakashi definitely noticed, but he waited until I brought it up myself.

"He looked shaken," I said, glancing up at him. "Like he was scared, but not because he was being attacked." I shook my head, realizing I probably wasn't being very coherent. "Y'know, like, almost like he was looking at something that wasn't there? I mean, he used a fire jutsu even though there was flour everywhere - even though we already made that mistake at the stream, and I don't think he's the type to make that mistake again unless he was panicking, or something. I dunno," I sighed, rubbing my face with the heel of my hand. "Something just wasn't right and I'm worried."

Kakashi hummed in thought, resting his chin in his hand. "Did he say anything?"

"Kinda?" I shrugged, taking another bit of the fish. "I dunno if it means anything, but when I tried talking to him, he mentioned a 'he' even though the person he was fighting was a woman, and then I remembered how he mentioned how he wanted to kill a certain someone on that day we introduced ourselves, and I don't know the details but I know his clan was, um...y'know," I trailed off, glancing to the side as I stopped rambling. "I thought it might be related to that, maybe. I dunno."

Kakashi was silent for a moment before looking back at me. "I didn't realize you worried so much about your teammates. I'm glad," he said with a smile. "I'll keep an eye on Sasuke, so don't worry."

I nodded, although I couldn't help but think that I was definitely still going to worry. As much as Kakashi was a great shinobi, he was pretty awful at taking care of his traumatized students in canon. I was already preparing to pick up the slack, but at least he knew now not to let his guard down with regards to Sasuke.

"What about me?" I asked as I stirred the miso soup. "Is there anything I can do?"

Kakashi blinked, seemingly caught off guard at my question. Now that I thought of it, he probably wasn't expecting me to ask that sort of thing about my supposed rival or whatever. "Maa...I don't know if mentioning anything is the best option when it comes to him. Or rather, I don't think he'll talk about it if you asked, but...maybe if you let him know that you're looking out for him, it's better than nothing," he said with a meek smile.

 _I guess better than nothing is as much as I can do at this point._ I was still too early on in my relationship with Sasuke and Sakura as teammates to really justify pushing that sort of topic, anyway.

I finished off the rice and set the bowl aside as I sipped the soup, then started picking away at the rest of the fish. I felt better after telling Kakashi about Sasuke, but there were still other things eating away at me, like what the man had been telling me before everything went to shit. Kakashi must've noticed that as well, because although he wasn't obvious about it, he glanced at me when I set my chopsticks across my empty bowl - a silent invitation to say what I wanted to say.

 _He's not the best, but it's not like I have anybody else I'd ask about this kinda stuff._

"Ne, Sensei," I started, sighing deeply, "one of Sagi's people was talking about how she viewed her own actions. He said that Ryoukuna's death was justified because it's ultimately what allowed Sagi to go on to help everybody in the program, and then some. He talked about Sagi's actions like it was a mission, like Ryoukuna's death - her teammates death, so to speak - was necessary for the mission's success, and..."

I huffed, absently stacking the empty dishes as I tried to figure out how to word my concerns. Morality was already hard enough to talk about in the world I came from, let alone in a world where death was a lot more common and children were promoted by fighting each other, sometimes to the death.

I bit my lip. "And he said that I'd have to make decisions like that one day, too, but..." I got up from my seat, taking the dishes with me to put them in the sink, "when that time comes, I don't know I'll know what to choose - the mission, or my teammates." I sighed again, leaning against the counter as my chest suddenly felt heavy. "I know they're both important, but if I'm ever in that position..."

Kakashi stood up as well, bringing his empty teacup to the sink. I squinted at it suspiciously, having failed to notice any signs of him drinking from it at all, and looked back at him. He didn't say anything about it, but I knew that he knew that I knew exactly what he did.

 _Stupid mask-wearing sorcery._

"It's true that that's a problem you'll likely have to face yourself someday," he started, "and it's true that it's a tough situation to be in, but I mentioned this during your genin test, didn't I? That those who break the rules of shinobi are scum, but those who abandon their comrades are even lower than scum."

"I guess," I said, for a lack of anything better to say. "I wonder if Sagi ever really considered Ryoukuna as a comrade, though."

"If you think what she did was wrong, then you need to think about what would've been the right thing to do," Kakashi said, patting my head. I ducked into it, still unused to the fact that I was so damn short. "More importantly, what Sagi thinks of Ryoukuna doesn't matter for you. What matters is whether you consider Sasuke and Sakura, and even myself, as your teammates."

I pouted. "Well, yeah, of course I do," I muttered. "But still, every mission is different." I rolled my neck slowly from one shoulder to another and sighed loudly. "Haa! I don't think I'm cut out for this kinda stuff."

"That's up for you to decide," Kakashi said, ruffling my hair.

 _Given that I'm the village's jinchuuriki, I don't think it is, but I appreciate the sentiment._

I took advantage of how close he was and went in for a hug instead, mostly for me but also for him, too, whether he knew it or not. Poor guy only had a day to wrap his head around Obito being alive, after all.

"This sucks," I mumbled into Kakashi's vest, suddenly understanding Protagonist's Ninja Way a lot more intimately than I ever wanted to.

Kakashi laughed lightly and patted my back. "Let's wake up Sakura. It's about time we see if Sasuke's ready to be discharged."

Without waking Takara, we got Sakura out of bed and headed to the hospital together. After a few minutes of talking to reception and waiting for Kakashi to fill out some paperwork, Sasuke showed up in the lobby looking grumpier than usual, but at least he seemed better than last night.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried, rushing over to his side in an instant and throwing her arms around him. He tensed and winced, but tolerated it with an annoyed scowl. "How're you feeling? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, gently pushing on her shoulder to get her off. He looked between me and Sakura before furrowing his brows, visibly trying to remember the events of last night. "What happened? I remember the roof collapsing, but nothing after that."

"You passed out suddenly," Sakura explained as we started exiting the hospital. "I was so worried... but you're okay now, right? You weren't acting like yourself, before."

"It was nothing. I'm fine," Sasuke said, although he winced when he shook his head, giving himself away.

I scoffed. "You probably shouldn't move your head so quickly; it basically got smashed through the shed," I said with a grin, because like hell I was going to let Sakura pretend she didn't single-handedly save her teammate's unconscious ass.

Sakura's face immediately turned red and Sasuke cocked a brow at me, absently rubbing his head. "Huh?"

"Satoko, don't-"

I ignored Sakura and talked over her instead. "You passed out, so Sakura pulled some crazy badass stunt and like, _busted_ through the shed at full power before Kakashi-sensei could even _try_ to do something about it, all while carrying your deadweight! Fire and wood went flying _everywhere_ and she emerged like a phoenix being reborn from the ashes!" I explained with grand hand gestures and a wide smile. "It was, without a doubt, _the_ coolest shit I've ever seen happen literally ever, and that's including our accidental flour bomb."

"I-It was nothing, really!" Sakura stammered, flailing her arms in front of her face. "All I did was focus a bunch of chakra to my feet in order to give myself a boost! Anybody could've done it!"

" _Sakura_ ," I whined, nudging her shoulder with mine, "you were objectively awesome. Sasuke could've been seriously hurt if you didn't save him, y'know. Right, Sasuke?" I leaned forward so I could make eye-contact with him, silently warning him not to be a dick about this.

With a sigh, Sasuke, rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away. "Yeah. Thanks, Sakura." He sounded irritated, but it wasn't directed at Sakura, at least.

I sighed, knowing full well that he was annoyed with himself, whether it was because he thought he was weak for freaking out or because he thought of Itachi. While it was chaotic, it's not like it was his fault - not the same way I accidentally let too much information slip. Still, him thanking Sakura was better than nothing, and it got her to feel good enough to smile.

"The three of you did well on this mission," Kakashi said, content. "I'm impressed by how much you've all grown in such a short amount of time. Maybe there's hope for you three yet."

"Yeah!" I grinned, changing positions so I was between my teammates and linked my arms with theirs, despite their protests. "I bet we could make some awesome strategies if we get our timing right! We're pretty good at dealing damage accidentally, so imagine how strong we'd be if we did it on _purpose._ "

Kakashi laughed sheepishly and turned his head away. "We can discuss that more in detail when we get back. For now, let's focus on wrapping up this mission."

"What else do we have left to do?" Sasuke asked, simply tolerating the fact that our arms were still linked - Sakura as well.

"Nothing big," Kakashi reassured. "We're just going to make sure everything is in order with Takara and her ownership of the program before leaving."

"Aw, that's it?" I huffed. "I'm glad we managed to help Takara, but I kinda feel like we're ending on a pretty boring note."

"Oh, they're also throwing a banquet to celebrate the success of the mission."

I gasped loudly, snapping my head up at Kakashi, who continued to look bored and only interested in his book even though I knew full well he was doing it on purpose.

"Really?!"

" _After_ we get our work done."

"Aw, man."

We entered through the back when we reached the shop, where we saw a certain long-necked quadrupedal creature who I still wasn't friendly with, even after learning it was a summon.

"Augh." I grimaced as she came into sight. " _You_ again."

Now that it was light, I got a better look at Chirin and saw that, not only was her neck absurdly long, so were her legs. Her coat was oddly bright, too - almost golden. She looked more or less like a horse, except the golden-brown of her coat faded into a blotchy pattern on her legs and face. Most of all, she had _antlers_ , albeit small and nubby, and a face just a bit more slender than that of a horse. It was hard to say exactly what she was supposed to be, but she definitely wasn't a horse. At least, not the kind of horse I was used to.

" _Rude_ ," she huffed, kicking up dust with her hind leg. "Is that how you talk to the one who saved your life?"

"It's how I talk to the one who tried to eat me!" I retaliated, glaring as hard as I could at her.

"Satoko, cut it out!" Sakura hissed.

Chirin scoffed and rolled her gross, beady eyes. "Don't flatter yourself! As if I'd _want_ to eat something as dirty as you!"

"Who's the dirty one, huh?!"

"That's enough," Kakashi sighed, guiding me into the house with his hand on my back. "You shouldn't argue with summons."

I huffed, slipping my sandals off and setting them aside. "She started it."

Everybody was already gathered at the table in the basement. Well, almost everybody - the only people still missing were Miyako, Tadashi, and Hidari, who was presumably still running the shop. The only odd person out was an unfamiliar woman, but given that nobody looked tense, she must've been an acquaintance.

"Welcome back!" Takara greeted, perking up from her seat. "How are you feeling, Sasuke-san?"

"I'm fine," he answered.

"What's left to do?" I asked, approaching the table.

"I'm going to officially claim my inheritance," Takara explained, her voice tighter than before. She looked nervous - I assumed because the fact that she was taking over the entire Hyakunichisou is suddenly very, very real - but kept her head high and her hands from fidgeting. "Konoe-san is here to execute the will."

I eyed the woman skeptically, instinctively wary after all the betrayals and deception of the past couple of days. She was tall and thin, with dark eyes and equally dark hair pulled back into a tight bun. She had a graceful air about her, not unlike Sagi, but more obviously tense. Sagi didn't have any edge to her presence whatsoever, which is what made her all the more threatening.

"It's nice to finally meet you three. I'm Konoe Jinguu," the woman said, smiling at me and my teammates before looking up at Kakashi. "I'm glad your mission went well."

"You know her?" Sakura asked, looking between Kakashi and Jinguu.

"She was my contact," Kakashi explained. "She gave us access to the building after hours so we could get the will - a favour that was greatly appreciated, by the way."

 _I can't tell if I'm more or less surprised that he wasn't lying about having a contact._

"Not at all. Who am I to deny a personal request from you, Kakashi-san?" Jinguu said with a small and elegant smile. "Anyway, take a seat and let's begin."

The process was fairly simple. Jinguu read out the will, stating that all of Ryoukuna's property and money was to be inherited by Takara. After signing it off with all of us bearing witness, Takara was officially the owner of Hyakunichisou. It felt pretty anti-climactic, but I supposed that was just how it was with paperwork.

"Now that that's settled," Hanjou said, getting up from her seat. "Let's go eat, shall we?"

"Yes!" I cheered, punching my first in the air. "Where're we going?"

"It's not far," she said. "I'll get Chirin, so you all go ahead first."

As Hanjou exited through the back, my team grabbed our sandals and followed everybody else up the stairs so we could exit through the front door. Sadame lead us down the street, and when we approached the restaurant, I quickly recognized it as the one where I got scolded at for touching the statue.

"Whoa!" Sakura gasped, clasping her hands together. "There's so much food!"

"Holy shit," I whispered, absently holding my stomach. "I'm so happy I have the appetite of a demon fox."

"Careful what you say," Kakashi said jokingly as he walked by.

I ignored him and instead dragged my teammates over to inspect the display of beautiful plated dishes, ranging from grilled fish to an entire roasted boar. I thought again about how Protagonist got a bridge named after him and grinned to myself, feeling like I'd won.

 _You can't eat a bridge!_

"When did you have time to make all this?" Sasuke asked, looking back at the Takara and the others.

Tomi laughed, her voice reserved as usual, and waved her hand in front of her face. "Oh, no, it wasn't us! Actually-"

"It was me!" a voice suddenly announced just as the kitchen door burst open. I jumped, spinning around to see Tadashi emerge with a cart full of various desserts. "You guys are right on time! Everybody else should be arriving in just a minute."

"Everybody else?" I repeated, still trying to take in what was happening. "Wait, you made all this?!"

"They didn't tell you?" Miyako asked, suddenly popping out from the kitchen behind Tadashi. "Tadashi and I own this restaurant. He's the head chef while I run management."

"Well, damn," I murmured, dumbstruck. It was hard to imagine that the two assassins sent to kill us actually had day jobs. Then again, they were members of the program, so it figures.

 _I wonder what Sagi's other subordinates do during the day._

"No wonder you're so good at cooking!" Hidari exclaimed, quickly hobbling over to Tadashi's side. "D'you mind if I ask you about your recipes? At least tell me how you cooked the fish this morning. It looked so simple, but it tasted so good!"

"Ah, i-it was nothing special, really," Tadashi answered with a nervous laugh, glancing away. I noticed the way his cheeks flushed red and covered my smile with a cough. "A-Anyway! Miyako, help me set this on that last table over there and we're good too go."

"Who else is coming?" I asked the merchants, glancing at the door to see if someone would miraculously show up.

"Just some others from the program, to celebrate turning a new leaf for the Hyakunichisou," Sadame said.

"Consider it a celebration for the success of your mission, too, of course!" Takara said with a bright smile. "They go hand in hand."

"That's just our job," Sakura said sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. "Are we waiting for the other guests to arrive before we start eating?"

"You don't have to! Are you hungry?" Takara asked.

"Ah, n-no! Not at all! Sakura frantically waved her hands in front of her face and shook her head. "I was just curious-"

"It's okay, we can start eating," Takara said with a laugh, taking her hand. "Here, let me show you what's good! The capital has some great signature dishes."

"E-Eh-? It's okay, you don't have to-!" Sakura didn't stand a chance, however, and was prompted dragged towards the food with Takara taking the lead.

I tilted my head towards Sasuke and slowly grinned.

He sighed and wisely walked ahead first instead of waiting for me to pull him by the wrist. "Fine. Let's eat."

About thirty minutes into the banquet, the room was filled with all sorts of people from the program. Many of them were missing various limbs, while others were in wheelchairs, or had crutches or canes supporting them. I even spotted some with prosthetics and wondered what exactly the limitations of chakra medicine was if it had the technology for prosthetics, but nothing that could help put these veterans back on the battlefield.

I sat in the corner of a booth, silently gnawing away at a damn root cut of some kind of meat - it looked like lamb shank but didn't taste quite like it - while Kakashi was chatting with Jinguu. Sasuke sat across from me, also eating in silence, and I silently noted the small bowl full of just cherry tomatoes that he got for himself.

 _The data book didn't lie_ , I thought, hiding my amused smile behind the bone I was chewing on.

Seeing him looking relatively content made me think back on the panicked expression he had last night. It was nothing short of freaking out, and as much as I knew getting specific about it probably wasn't a good idea, I wanted to at least let him know that both me and Sakura were looking out for him, whether he wanted us to or not.

"Hey, Sasuke," I said finally, wiping my hands on my napkin. It was probably better not to engage in this topic while stuffing my face full of meat. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? And I don't mean just physically. I mean, well, it looked like something really got to you last night, is all."

The mood around him immediately darkened, and I did my best not to flinch away. "It's nothing. And it's none of your business, either."

I frowned, but kept my voice light. "It's definitely at least _some_ of my business - and Sakura's and Sensei's, too. I'm not gonna make you talk about it if you don't wanna, but... Just know that we're looking out for you, is all I wanted to say. We're your teammates, after all."

Sasuke didn't say anything, but at least his scowl and the edge around him faded. I wasn't sure if those were the kinds of words that would actually help him, but anything was better compared to the total _nothing_ he got in canon, I figured.

 _Anything to help you stop that Cursed Seal from dragging you to the deep end._

Whatever heavy atmosphere that remained was quickly shooed away when Takara approached the booth with a small plate of bite-sized food. "May I join you two?" Sasuke and I nodded, and I scooched over so she had more room to sit. "You sure eat a lot for your size, huh, Satoko-san," she commented, gesturing towards my stack of plates.

"I never wanna stop," I said, still nibbling away at the bits of meat left on the bone. "Man, I forgot how good food can be when you actually bother to cook it."

Takara tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I live alone and I don't really cook a lot, and if I do it's always the same stuff," I said with a shrug, thinking back on the many times I made fried rice with the same three ingredients: rice, ground beef, and some green vegetable that resembled bok choy. "I'm not really picky, but I do appreciate good food." I sighed blissfully, finally setting the bare bone down and starting on another not-lamb shank.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it! What about you, Sasuke-san? Do you cook?"

"I keep it simple," he responded shortly, but in a typical Sasuke-esque way and not because he was hostile.

 _What a vague non-answer. Classic Sasuke._

Takara clearly had no idea what to do with such a simple answer, however, and instead laughed nervously. "I see! Then, hopefully you get to try some new foods today."

There was a short silence, neither Sasuke nor I seemed to mind, but Takara kept glancing up at us and back at her food, looking restless.

"You okay there?" I asked nonchalantly, side-eyeing Takara through the bangs I was too lazy to brush out of my face. "It looks like you have something you wanna say."

Her cheeks flushed just a bit as she nervously picked at the food on her dish. "Nothing in particular. I just wanted to thank you two again for everything that you've done. You truly are incredibly shinobi. And because of all the commotion, I never got to properly apologize for putting you all in danger. So, um... I'm very sorry for the trouble I caused!" At that, she stood up from her seat and bowed, and I tried to ignore the few people nearby who noticed and stared.

"Sit down!" I hissed, flapping my hand at her until she sat down again. "It's fine! It all worked out, right? Besides, it's our job. And it's gonna look _super_ cool on our records," I grinned. "Right, Sasuke?"

"The mission we accepted was a C-Rank, but it'll likely be upgraded to a B, or even A-Rank," he said with a nod. "Well get paid more for it, too."

Takara laughed softly and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "I'm glad you'll be properly compensated for your extra work, at least. I was just worried. I was told you got stuck in a fire."

Sasuke and I exchanged looks before he answered, "It happens."

"Did you have a chance to talk to Sakura-chan yet?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Oh, yes! I was going to find her afterwards," Takara said as bashful smile creeped onto her lips. She held her cheek in one hand and sighed. "I'm incredibly grateful towards her, too, of course. I don't think I would have made it to the capital without her help, after all. She's incredibly brave."

"Right?" I immediately agreed, grinning widely. "Sakura-chan's gonna be the best kunoichi Konoha's ever seen!"

Takara laughed, raising her brow at me. "It won't be you?"

I paused, thought about what I said, then added, "Well... We can both be the best! We have different skill sets, after all, and it's not like we can't _both_ be awesome."

She laughed again, and I ignored Sasuke rolling his eyes. "Yes, there's nothing stopping Konoha from producing two formidable kunoichi," Takara agreed, then suddenly perked up as she noticed something across the room. "Ah, there's Sakura-chan! I should go speak to her. Thank you for your company!" she said before rushing off with her plate.

Once Takara was out of earshot, I leaned over the table and gestured for Sasuke to come closer so I could ask in a hushed whisper, "You spent more time with Takara than I did - is it just me, or does she totally have a thing for Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke made a face and pulled away. "Definitely," he answered flatly, much to my surprise and amusement. "She looks at Sakura the way Sakura looks at me."

I snorted and nearly choked on my tea, then laughed even more when I saw the displeased face Sasuke was pulling. "Aw, that's kinda sweet," I said, to which Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, I'm not talking about this with you."

"C'mon, think of it this way - maybe you can use Takara to get Sakura off your back."

"Why are you the one bringing this up?" he asked, suspicious. "I thought you were in love with Sakura."

I rolled my eyes and sipped my tea, hoping to end that stupid subplot once and for all. "I don't love her in _that_ way - I _admire_ her, and what's not there to admire? She's great at thinking on her feet, and picks up new skills in a flash, and-"

"Alright, I get it," Sasuke muttered, gesturing at me to shut up while I blatantly ignored him.

"-she could maintain that cat henge for so long, otherwise it would've been way harder to get outta those ropes."

"You talk too much," Sasuke sighed and slipped out of the booth. "I'm getting more food."

"I'm coming with you!" I grinned, quickly jumping out after him.

" _Augh_."

The banquet went on for a few hours until finally, Kakashi said we had to go or else we'd miss the sunlight. After shamelessly accepting some leftovers packed neatly into several containers, we headed back to Hidari's shop to pick up our things.

Everybody came to see us off at the gates, including Jinguu and Hidari. I tried not to stare at the way his shoulder kept bumping into Tadashi's, and tried even harder not to stare at Kakashi, who definitely noticed.

 _I wonder if he's happy for him._

Then again, it was hard to tell if Kakashi was happy about this turn of events at all.

Nevertheless, he put on his signature one-eyed smile and politely thanked Hidari for his hospitality and wished Takara luck on succeeding the Hyakunichisou.

"Oh, before you leave," Sadame said, grabbing a few bundles from Chirin's cart. "We wanted you to have these."

When she revealed what was inside, I didn't even try to contain my excitement. From left to right, there was an instrument resembling a wooden flute, one that looked like Tomi's pipa, and a third that looked like an egg-shaped ocarina. They weren't the exact same as the ones we were shown the other day, but the unique, handcrafted style was distinguishable enough that I knew there were hidden weapons in all of them.

"Wait, seriously?!" I gasped, looking between the three women with wide eyes, then spun around to face Kakashi and asked, "Are we allowed to accept these?!"

"It's normal to receive gifts from clients," he said with a smile. "What you do with them is up to you, though."

"You don't have to learn how to use them in battle, of course," Tomi said. "We just thought that you'd at least enjoy experimenting with them. It seemed like you were all interested in ours."

"One of the best parts about being a genin is trying different weapons and fighting styles," Hanjou said. "The three of you are still young, but you're all very good at adapting. Keep your options open - you might end up discovering a new skill."

"And if not, then you can always take up the instrument as a hobby," Tomi added with a laugh. "We weren't sure if you had any preferences, so we tried to get the simplest ones and thought you could sort it out amongst yourselves."

"This one's called a shinobue," Sadame said, holding out the wooden flute-like instrument. "There's a compartment underneath the mouth hole that can be used to store senbon. It opens manually so you can load it," she said, sliding the cover off, "and there's a little hole at the end here that shoots the senbon if you play the right note."

She gave a demonstration, showing the note she was playing before blowing into the instrument and angling herself so the senbon needle was shot into the wagon. After returning the senbon back into the shinobue, Sadame gave it to Tomi, who wrapped it in a cloth, and then held out an instrument that looked similar to Tomi's pipa.

"This one's a biwa - specifically a heike-biwa. It's small size was designed for portability. The plectrum," she said, holding up a small triangle-like tool, "is used to play the strings, but this one also doubles as a weapon. As long as you maintain it, it'll be strong enough to cut through steel wire."

"Which is why it also comes with a special cover, so that you don't accidentally cut the instrument's string if you're using it as such," Hanjou added, pulling off the thin, wooden cover of the plectrum to reveal the shine of a blade underneath. I gasped quietly, in awe of how carefully it must've been constructed in order to look so inconspicuous, even with the cover on. "Lastly, this small one is called a tsuchibue."

"It's similar to mine, just with a different shape," Sadame explained, exchanging the biwa for the tsuchibue. "If you play this note here," she said, once again showing us the correct fingering, "it'll shoot a senbon needle. This one's better suited for stealth and concealment, so it only loads one needle at a time. But," she said, wearing an excited grin, "if you push this part of the back _just_ right-" With a faint click, a tiny, thin dagger shot out of the back. It was slightly curved to fit the shape of the tsuchibue. "It's pretty good for delicate work."

Sadame pulled the blade back into the instrument and carefully placed it back into the cushioned box it came in.

"The entire thing is made of reinforced material, so you could also just use it as a blunt weapon," Tomi added, playfully gesturing as though she was hitting Sadame over the head with a rock.

"They can all be used as blunt weapons, really," Sadame agreed, swatting Tomi's hand away, then smiled back at us. "And that's it! Cool, right?"

" _So_ cool," I agreed, still in awe that such instruments could be made at all, then turned to Sasuke and Sakura. "I call dibs on the biwa."

Sakura rolled her eyes, but smiled at the merchants. "That's fine. I was more interested in the tsuchibue, anyway. Unless you wanted it, too, Sasuke-kun?"

"I don't have a preference," he said with a shrug.

With that settled, we took one instrument each and carefully packed them away. At least, I tried to pack mine away as much as I could, and although the handle was still sticking out of the top of my bag, it was at least wrapped in cloth.

"Okay, you're free to go now!" Takara said with a light laugh. "I'll work hard to make the Hyakunichisou into what my mother wanted it to be."

"And I'll make up for my mistakes," Kanjaku said, still weary, but better. "I hope I can meet you all again as a more honourable man."

"We look forward to it," Kakashi said with a smile. "Take care, Jinguu-san, and thanks again for your help."

"Not at all," Jinguu said, then stepped forward, pulling two letters bundled together with twine out of her sleeve, and handing them to Kakashi. "In return, however, I'd like you to deliver these letters for me. I believe you will deliver them sooner than a courier would. They are not confidential, so you can entrust them to your genin if you wish."

I exchanged looks and Sasuke and Sakura, knowing full well that Kakashi was absolutely going to pawn off the errand onto us.

"Of course," Kakashi said, accepting the letters and predictably handing them over to me. "Confidential or not, we'll make sure they get delivered."

I rolled my eyes, but took the letters nevertheless. I was about to give him some sass about making us do the grunt work, but was instead rendered speechless when I saw whose name was written on the first letter.

"Wait, what?!" I cried, pointing at the name and showing it to Jinguu. "You're Shino's mom?!"

Sasuke and Sakura responded with a disbelieving "Huh?!" and "What?!" respectively, and I shove the letter in their faces to show the _Aburame Shino_ neatly printed in black ink as the recipient's name.

 _Hell, Shino_ has _a mom?!_

Jinguu laughed behind her hand and eyed Kakashi knowingly. "I see your sensei is as forgetful as ever and failed to mention it."

"Maa, I didn't think it was worth getting excited about," he said with a shrug.

"But I thought your surname was Konoe?" I asked, confused.

"I use my maiden name at work," Jinguu explained.

"And you're so pretty!" Sakura gasped. "I would've never suspected - you two look nothing alike." She immediately realized the implication of what she said, however, and quickly started fumbling over her words. "Wait, no, not he's- I mean-!"

"It is alright. I understand," Jinguu said, waving her hand. "He does look more like his father, although I'm often told that he has my eyes."

"Well, he's always wearing those shades..." Sasuke said, glancing to the side.

"Yes, my Shino-kun is a little shy," Jinguu laughed, shaking her head. "He takes after his father in that way. You all graduated together, yes? I hope you'll take care of him."

"We will!" I grinned, safely tucking the letters into my bag. "And we'll make sure these letters get to him, too!"

"I'm happy to hear that," she said. "I think we've all held you here long enough. You really should get going now so you can get home before dark."

"Any last words?" Kakashi said nonchalantly, and I scoffed at how he used a phrase that's usually a threat in such a casual setting. When we all shook out heads, he nodded. "Alright, then. Let's go!"

After our final waves and quick goodbyes, the four of us turned around and broke into a full sprint. Our mission was officially a success, and we were finally headed home.

When we were about halfway back to Konoha, we took a break from running and instead walked for a few minutes.

Since we were finally at a pace where I could do so, I swung my bag around and pulled out my newly acquired biwa.

"What're you doing?" Sakura asked, already bracing herself. "Don't mess with it _now_. You'll be home in a bit, anyway!"

"Aw, but I'm bored," I said, already tuning the strings.

"Do you even know how to play it?" Sasuke asked.

"I can figure it out," I said, humming a few pitches until I was satisfied with the chords. I gave it a few strums and grinned. "Perfect!"

And with all the nostalgia and longing for music, I sang my heart out:

 _Two lovers, forbidden from one another~_  
 _A wa~ar divides their people~_  
 _And a moun~tain divides them ap~art~  
_ _Built a path to be together~_

"...Yeah, I never actually learned the next couple of lines, but then it goes-"

 _Secret tunnel!_  
 _Secret tunnel!_  
 _Through the moun~tain!  
_ _Secret, secret, secret, secret tunn~e~e~el!_ ** _Yeah!_**

"What kind of song was that...?" Sakura asked, looking exasperated.

I grinned widely, too amused and pleased with myself to really care that I was the only one who could truly appreciate it. "It's the Secret Tunnel song. Y'know, about two forbidden lovers and the mountain that divides them apart."

Sakura groaned, annoyed, and decided not to answer, which was probably for the better.

"Shouldn't we start running again?" Sasuke asked, wearing an expression similar to Sakura's as he did so.

Kakashi gave him a half-lidded stare and nodded. "Yeah."

Bastards barely even gave me enough time to pack my biwa away before breaking out into a sprint again.

The sun was just starting to set when we reached the village gates. I was amazed at how short the travel was when we were sprinting instead of walking along with a caravan. We made it back in just a few hours, having only stopped for a ten-minute break.

 _I don't even feel that tired_ , I thought as we had our passports checked by the guards.

"Alright, good work you three," Kakashi said once we were let through. "Since this mission turned out to be much more than we anticipated, you'll all have to fill out a report. We can take it easy, so we'll meet tomorrow at noon to submit the reports together and get a debriefing. You all worked hard, so make sure you get a good night's rest. Dismi-"

"KAKASHI!" shouted a sudden booming voice, startling all of us into spinning out heads around to see who the hell the source of that voice was. "MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

 _Oh my god._

In a cloud of dust and youth, a green spandex-wearing man sprinted towards us and immediately pulled Kakashi into a monstrous hug which I was certain cracked Kakashi's spine all the way down to his tailbone. My teammates and I jumped back, with Sasuke and Sakura wearing the same wide-eyed, appalled expression while I simply stared, stunned by the fact that I was seeing Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey himself, Maito Gai, for real, in the flesh.

"I see you've returned from your mission as well!" he exclaimed, finally releasing our disheveled sensei from his crushing embrace. I could feel the horror in my teammates' souls when his big eyes and bright smile were aimed at us next. "Are these your genin? They look a little worse for wear, Kakashi! Perhaps taking them outside the village so soon was too much for these rookies!"

 _Man, you don't even know the half of it,_ I thought, feeling abysmal.

"Who is this guy?!" Sakura whispered to Sasuke and I. "He's so...gross!"

"I guess he's Sensei's friend?" I whispered back.

 _His best friend, actually,_ I thought. _The best support system he has, actually._ ** _Everything Kakashi needs and deserves and more, actually._**

But for the sake of not revealing myself as a cross-dimensionally misplaced college student, I tried to contain myself and my feelings over the relationship these two had.

Kakashi laughed tiredly and gently patted Gai on the shoulder to get him to step back. "I take it your mission went well?"

Gai laughed heartily with his hands on his hips. "It was nothing my beautiful students couldn't handle! Isn't that right?!" he called over his shoulder, to which I heard the distant sound of Tenten scolding him.

"You can't just run off like that, Sensei!" she cried as finally, on the horizon, several figures emerged from the sunset as dark silhouettes.

And as I saw their faces clear when they came close, I suddenly had to try very, _very_ hard to contain myself.

As expected, from left to right, I saw Neji, Tenten, and Lee. They walked casually towards the gates, with Neji and Tenten looking exhausted by their sensei's antics while Lee was, of course, just as upbeat as Gai.

But in addition to those three, there were three surprises.

The first was Gatou, bound by the hands and being led by Tenten.

 _What._

The second was the sword strapped to Tenten's back. Specifically, a large broadsword with two holes made specifically for decapitating. Specifically, _Zabuza's sword._

 _The FUCK._

And lastly, as if I wasn't ready to explode by what I was seeing, there was the third figure, bound and led by Lee. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, wondering if maybe the sunlight was making my eyes play tricks on me, but no, I was definitely seeing things right.

The fifth person approaching the village was Haku.

 _HAPPENED?!_

* * *

 **Author's Notes** : Shino's mom is actually created by AwayLaughing (on AO3, awayandlaughing on tumblr), who was like "Shino needs a mom I'm gonna make him a mom" so now we have Jinguu. Jinguu is the best and so is Away. She so kindly let me borrow for the sake of making Kakashi's contact more relevant, and also because there's far too many missing moms in canon and there's no way they're all dead or whatever.

For those who'd like to know exactly what happened during the Wave Mission, Away also wrote Effloresce (AKA TG in Wave), which is also canonically what happened during the mission in SATOKO! You can find this on her AO3. I highly encourage you to read it because it's full of great stuff and explains why Haku and Gatou came back with TG, and why Tenten has Zabuza's sword (although that's probably pretty intuitive). You won't _have_ to read it to understand anything else that happens in SATOKO, though. Think of it as super bonus extra content that focuses on TG dynamics instead of just the results of the mission.

And as usual, extra SATOKO content can be found at youridiotwriter on tumblr, such as BTS or art. Thanks for reading!


	21. Springtime of Youth: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary** : Satoko's not getting answers to any of her questions ft. Shino

* * *

"Holy SHIT."

I spoke without thinking and immediately clamped my hands over my mouth, still staring wide-eyed at the genin and their...captives? Prisoners? ...Hostages? I wasn't quite sure what situation they were in. Gatou looked predictably annoyed, but Haku was very calm, so it was hard to say.

The older genin looked at me and I froze, quickly trying to pinpoint something to yell about that wasn't the last two people I expected to see in Konoha. Seriously, Haku was supposed to be _dead._ Thankfully, my brain had become used to processing plot-changing revelations by then because they were quickly pushed onto the backburner as a Currently Rejected but Acknowledged Problem - or as I liked to call it, a huge load of CRAP.

"That sword is huge!" I exclaimed, pointing at Tenten's sword. I wanted to get a closer look, but it felt awkward to get any closer with Haku hovering around her. "Holy shit that's so cool!"

"Calm down!" Sakura snapped the same time Sasuke hissed, "Shut up."

Tenten's face lit up and she flashed a toothy grin. "Isn't it?! I picked it up during our mission. It used to belong to one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist," she said, looking just as smug as she was happy to show it off.

"That's so cool!" I repeated, then looked back at Kakashi. "Who are the Seven Swordsmen?"

"I'll tell you about them later," Kakashi said, looking tired. "Right now it looks like they have their hands full, so we should get go-"

"Not to fast, Kakashi!" Gai shouted, trapping Kakashi in a friendly headlock. "You haven't even introduced me to your team!"

Kakashi slipped out of Gai's hold and stretched his neck. "Are you sure you have time for this?" he asked warily, glancing at Haku and Gatou.

"Of course! We always make time for pleasantries," he grinned, looking back at me and my teammates. I took it to mean that there was no rush, considering how unthreatening and calm Gatou and Haku were respectively. "My name is-!"

"This is Maito Gai," Kakashi interrupted, holding his hand out as though presenting him, despite his complete lack of enthusiasm. "He's the jounin leader of Team 3."

"It is a great pleasure to meet you!" Lee shouted, straightening his posture as he greeted us with a salute. "I am Rock Lee, Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast!"

Sasuke and Sakura made a face while I stifled a laugh. I had braced myself for Lee to make an advance on Sakura, but thankfully the context seemed to stop him from doing so. Despite being in high spirits, I could imagine how tired they were. Having just returned from a mission gone wrong with a prisoner in hand probably wasn't the best time to profess his love for a girl he literally just met.

Tenten sighed at Lee's introduction, but flipped her expression into a pleasant smile as she introduced herself. "I'm Tenten, and this is Neji," she said, pointing at her teammate with her free hand.

"I can introduce myself," he sighed, looking back at us. "Nice to meet you."

"Who are they?" Sakura asked curiously, gesturing at Gatou and Haku. "U-Unless you can't tell us, of course!"

"It's fine," Tenten said, but then cocked her brow and looked up at Gai. "At least, I think so. Sensei?"

"Not a problem, my dear pupil! Haku has been a model prisoner. It would be rude to ignore him!"

I tried not to laugh at the fact that everybody was blatantly ignoring Gatou, which wasn't very surprising. He was gagged and bound, and stood as far away as he possibly could. Haku looked like the restraints were just a formality.

"So you're Haku?" I asked, looking at the taller boy. I tried my hardest not to lose my shit over actually seeing him in person. All I could think about was how he was supposed to dead. Very, very dead.

"That's correct. It's a pleasure to meet you," he said with a polite smile. "I'm sorry our first meeting had to be this way."

I laughed warily and decided to change the subject by introducing myself. "I'm Satoko," I said, remembering Sakura's weird thing about not using surnames even within the village. Which, seriously, what was the point if Sasuke went around flaunting his clan symbol like a literal target on his back?

 _Then again, he's a bit of a special case, I guess._

"I'm Sakura. It's nice to meet all of you," she said with a short bow and smile.

"Sasuke," he said simply. "Your eyes," Sasuke continued unexpectedly, looking at Neji. "You're a Hyuuga?"

The air thickened and I resisted the urge to groan.

"Yes," Neji answered stiffly. His eyes narrowed just the slightest bit. "What of it?"

Tenten shot Neji a look while I hissed at Sasuke, "Quit trying to pick a fight!"

"I'm not!" he hissed back.

"Then it's a wonder how you always manage to sound like you are!"

"Be nice," Kakashi said, clapping his hands onto our shoulders. "Those three are your senpai."

"Senpai?" Sakura repeated to herself.

"They graduated the year before you," Kakashi said. I tried not to look to amused at how conflicted Sasuke looked about having a kid who looks like Lee as his senpai. "Anyway, you should handle your business before the sun sets. We should be going, too" he said, looking back at Gai. "Take care."

"Yes, may we meet again soon!" Gai exclaimed, waving enthusiastically as Kakashi pushed us along.

Before we got to far, I spun around and yelled, "Tenten-senpai! Let me take a closer look at your kickass sword sometime!"

"S-Senpai?" I heard her gasp, cheeks flushed, before she called back with a grin, "Sure thing! I can show you some other cool stuff, too!"

I smiled back before catching up to my team, who so kindly went on ahead without me. "So cool," I said again once I fell into step with them. Shortly afterwards, my stomach growled loudly, and I held my stomach with a frown while looking at my team. "Hey, wanna grab dinner before we head home?"

"I'm really tired," Sakura yawned. "But it would be nice to get some comfort food after being away for so long. Especially after that mission."

"We were given a banquet for lunch," Sasuke said. "Satoko even brought home leftovers."

"Hey, so did you!"

"That's a good idea," Kakashi said with a smile. He materialized several bills and handed it to me. "It's nice to unwind with something familiar after a tough mission. Consider it my treat."

I flicked through the money and gasped. There was more than enough for all of us to get at least two bowls each. I looked up at him, confused. "You're not coming?"

Kakashi shook his head. He looked tired the same way he did after we'd met Hidari.

 _Oh._

"It's okay if you three hand in your reports tomorrow, but I should go talk to the Hokage about what happened, first," he said, patting me on the head. "I'll see you all tomorrow."

Without another word, Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves. I looked at Sakura and Sasuke, then back at the money.

"So, uh...you guys up for some ramen?"

I wasn't nearly as big a fan of ramen as Protagonist was, but Ichiraku's seemed like the obvious choice. It wasn't just the food that was warm and welcoming, but the atmosphere as well. The countertop seating is what made it cozy, and I could never say no to being greeted by Teuchi's and Ayame's bright smiles.

"Welcome home!" they said in unison as we took our seats. "Kakashi-sensei isn't joining you?" Ayame asked.

"He's busy, but he's still treating us," I said, slapping the money he'd given me on the counter. Teuchi laughed and took enough money for three bowls. "I'll have a tonkotsu ramen, please!"

"Shoyu for me, please," Sakura said.

Sasuke skimmed the menu before ordering, "I'll have shio, please."

Teuchi grinned, already getting the noodles ready. "Coming right up!"

The rich scent of broth filled the air as we waited for our meals. Meanwhile, the image of Kakashi's weary expression lingered in my mind. I sighed, propping my chin in my hands as I wondered what he was really talking to the Hokage about right now.

 _I'd send a clone to eavesdrop if it wasn't guaranteed to get caught immediately_ , I thought. Even if I tried to disguise it as an animal or an insect, between Kakashi and the Hokage, of course they would catch me.

"-toko!"

I jumped in my seat, snapping my head up to see Ayame setting a bowl in front of me.

"Tired from the mission, huh," she said with a smile.

I laughed shortly while grabbing a pair of chopsticks. "Yeah, it gave me a lot to think about."

"Oh? Why don't you tell us about it? If you're allowed."

"Everything went wrong," Sakura sighed. She thanked Ayame as her ramen was served and continued, "It was supposed to be a simple escort mission, but instead it became a huge political mess!"

"We took down an entire drug cartel," I said, at a bit of a loss. It didn't really sink in how wild our mission was until I'd said that out loud. "Holy shit," I said, looking at my teammates. "We took down a freaking _drug cartel._ On our _first C-Ranked mission._ "

"And exposed a prolific politician for extortion, blackmail, and murder," Sasuke added, accepting his ramen. We chanted _itadakimasu_ in unison before digging in.

"Man," I murmured, grinning at my teammates. "We're pretty awesome!"

Teuchi and Ayame laughed as though they'd heard it all before, which I was sure they had. They must've heard the stories from every rookie team for the past two decades.

"Sounds like a typical first C-Rank," Teuchi said. "It looks like you three had a rough time, so here," he said, setting a plate of gyoza in front of us. I didn't even realize Ichiraku had side dishes until now. "On the house."

I gasped, quickly slurping up my bite ramen so I could reach for one while they were still fresh. "You're the best, Ojisan!"

We finished our meals in relative silence, simply relaxing and enjoying our food to our heart's content. It really had been a long few days, and now that we were finally safe and sound in Konoha, all the exhaustion came crashing down on me at once. I sipped my tea and could feel the warmth relaxing the tension in my muscles.

"Agh," I groaned, suddenly remembering all the stuff we had left to do. "I'm so tired, but we still need to write our reports! How do we even do that? Did we ever learn how to do that?"

"Yes," Sasuke and Sakura answered in unison, giving me that _You're a Complete Idiot_ look again.

"Did you listen at _all_ in the Academy?" Sakura scolded. "It's like you don't even have ears!"

 _Shit, of course we would've learned this from the academy._ I made the effort not to change my expression despite the realization. _Although I bet it's like how I once "learned" how to write essays in high school. Five-paragraph structure my ass._

"I don't listen to the boring stuff," I said with a huff. "More importantly, it's our first report and a lot happened, so we should make sure it's done properly, right?"

"What are you trying to say?" Sasuke asked warily.

"I'm saying we should go to someone's house and write them together!"

"No," Sasuke said without a second of hesitation.

"You suck."

Sakura looked like she was about to agree, but then gave it a moment of thought. "Actually…that might not be a bad idea," she said, leaning towards Sasuke. "Do you really trust Satoko to write a proper report?"

Sasuke looked between me and Sakura and sighed. "You're right. That idiot probably doesn't even remember the client's name."

"Man, you _both_ suck," I mumbled. Well, whatever gets them to agree. "Whatever. It's settled then! We're going to Sasuke's house!"

"I never agreed to that!"

"We can go to my place!" Sakura interjected before we could argue any further. She was getting better at knowing when to step in. "It's nearby, and my parents keep asking to meet you two, anyway."

"They wanna meet us?" I repeated.

Sakura shuffled in her seat. "Well, yeah… They've already met Kakashi-sensei, of course, but they keep nagging me about properly introducing you to them." She snapped her head towards me and huffed. "Just don't read into it! It's not like I want you to come over - it's just convenient!"

"I didn't say anything!" I retorted, raising my hands in defense. "It's settled for real then; we're going to Sakura's place!"

"You two should drop your things off, first," Sakura reminded. "Don't you still have leftovers in your bag?"

"Oh, right." The food I took wasn't likely to go bad too quickly but it was always a good idea to store leftovers as soon as possible. "Okay, then me and Sasuke will make a pit stop, _then_ we'll all meet at Sakura's place!"

After downing the rest of our tea, the three of us said our goodbyes to Teuchi and Ayame and set off.

 _Ah, shit, I still have Shino's letter. I guess I'll take care of it tomorrow._

I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I walked through the door and toed my sandals off. My feet ached and my body threatened to give out all at once. I almost regretted suggesting to work on the report together. I didn't really think I needed the help - it was pretty self-explanatory to just write about what happened on the mission, but they actually went along with my excuse for team bonding, so there was no way I was giving it up.

I put the leftovers in my fridge, washed my face, and changed my clothes before heading out again. At least the evening breeze was refreshing and helped wake me up.

I followed the directions Sakura gave us and saw her standing outside when I arrived. I waved when she saw me and jogged the short distance over.

"Thanks for waiting!"

"I was starting to think you got lost," she said. "Sasuke-kun's already here."

"Ah, my bad! I took a rinse before I came."

After heading inside, we got settled at the dining room table where Sasuke was already seated and got straight to work. It was a pain, to review everything that happened during the mission, but it was better to do it sooner rather than later, and it gave us time to review the details to make sure we were all telling the same story before the debriefing tomorrow.

The one good thing about reports is that they were somewhat standardized in that we had a form to fill out for basic information, like our names, team number, our client, and so on. The actual details of the mission were to be attached to the form.

"Ok, I think that's everybody," Sakura said after we finished listing over a dozen people involved in the mission. Between us, the caravan, and everybody we met in the capital, the list was _long._ "Next is-"

She was cut off with a sudden clang that startled all of us into looking towards the kitchen, where the sound had come from. There was no yelling or anything to suggest that something bad had happened, so after a moment of silence we got back to work.

"Anyway, next we have to explain how-"

Another clang interrupted Sakura again, and this time I saw her eyebrow twitch the way it does before she usually smacks me. More sounds came from the kitchen - someone was presumably cooking something - and Sakura opened her mouth, looking like she was going to yell. After taking a deep breath, however, she exhaled slowly and instead stood up calmly, jaw clenched.

"Let's go to my room."

We resettled on the floor in Sakura's room after she pointedly closed the door. Now that it was quiet, we could get some proper work done.

"Okay," Sakura huffed, taking her seat between me and Sasuke, "let's start from the beginning."

It wasn't until we started writing the report that I realized how quickly the whole mission was over. Getting to the capital took way longer than expected - between getting attacked and split up, it took well over a day to actually get there, but then we formulated and executed our plan on the same night, and everything was over before the sun was even up. By the time we left the banquet and returned to Konoha, only three days had passed.

The exhaustion accumulated over the past three days crashed down on me all over again, and I slumped onto the table.

"Man...this mission was _wild_ ," I said, staring blankly at my incomplete report. We'd only written notes so far so we didn't miss any details when actually writing the report and still managed to fill up two pages double-sided.

"No kidding," Sakura sighed, rolling her neck. "My wrist is already sore and we haven't even started writing it yet."

"We need to address the socio-economic issues implied by the bandits attacking us, in relation to the more obvious ones." Sasuke said.

I propped my chin onto my hands. "Whaddya mean by that?"

"If the issue was that veterans weren't getting enough income, then it's likely that the bandits attacked us for similar reasons," he explained. "They could've even been relatives of veterans. It's unlikely they themselves were veterans, though, given how inexperienced they were."

I took a moment to process what he was saying and made several connections in my head. "Wait...doesn't that mean that if, say, the bandits were related to any of the assassins that attacked us..."

My teammates fell silent, and we all sat staring at nothing in particular for a moment.

"It's in the past," Sasuke finally said. "And we're not wrong for protecting ourselves."

"Yeah, there's no use in over-analyzing it," Sakura said, although her expression still looked troubled. "C'mon, it's getting late so let's hurry up and finish writing this."

I nodded and pushed the thought aside. I could let it keep me up at night later, after we were done writing our reports. Retrospective guilt aside, at least it gave me an opportunity to finally get Sasuke and Sakura to tell me what happened while they were high. Or, at least, I tried.

"Nothing happened!" Sakura said, even though I knew she was lying given the flush in her cheeks. "We just got dizzy and disoriented."

"We got attacked, but managed to escape by using-" Sasuke stopped himself, and I could see his entire posture sulk as he recalled the memory.

I grinned widely and shuffled closer to him. "Using...?"

He shoved me away and I laughed, catching myself before I fell over. "Shut up! There was nothing useful in your damn bag. I just threw the first thing that I saw!"

"I don't care if you _meant_ to use it. What matters is that it _worked,_ " I said. "You guys are always making fun of my weapons, but it totally saved your ass! _And_ it helped me and Sensei help find you guys later, too! Admit it - my glitter bombs are useful."

Sasuke and Sakura groaned simultaneously as I continued to grin cheekily.

"Fine _,_ " Sakura said, rolling her eyes. "It was useful, but only that one time! It doesn't mean it's a good weapon. It's unreliable, and the cons aren't worth the risk!"

"And it's messy," Sasuke added. "Just use normal weapons like everybody else. They're standardized for a reason."

"It's a work in progress," I offered as a compromise. "More importantly, I think it's _super_ important that you guys recall every detail about being high as a kite. Konoha could stand to know the effects of opium."

" _Nothing happened!_ " they both insisted in unison, and they left the matter at that.

I huffed and accepted defeat. For now.

 _One day._..

We were about halfway through writing the actual report when suddenly there was a knock at the door and before Sakura could even answer, her father came in with a bowl of fruit.

"You three must be hungry! Here, Yuuta-san picked these from their garden just this morning," he said setting it between me and Sakura.

"Dad!" she snapped, shoving his leg from where she was sitting. "I told you not to bother us, we're busy!"

"Okay, okay!" he laughed, quickly retreating out the door. "Just give a shout if you need anything. I'll leave you alone!"

He did not leave us alone.

Ten minutes later, he came back with reinforcements and tea.

" _Mom!_ " Sakura cried. Her expression was nothing but appalled as Mebuki followed in after Kizashi, who was holding yet another bowl, this time of full of packets of crackers and nuts.

"We'll be quick!" she said, setting a tray with a teapot and three teacups down between Sakura and Sasuke. "You've been at it for almost two hours now, so we thought some tea and snacks would help keep you energized."

While Sasuke and I thanked them, Sakura groaned and shoved her parents out the door. "We're _fine!_ "

It was oddly comforting to know that parents were the same no matter what universe I was in. Mebuki and Kizashi reminded me of my own overbearing parents, at least when it came to forcing various fruits on me every other hour and then complaining when I was too full for dinner. I couldn't say I missed being interrupted several times a day, but it was nice not having to worry about food by myself. It almost made me homesick, but it was nostalgic more than anything else.

I stifled a laugh and happily sipped my tea. "Your parents are so nice, Sakura-chan."

"They're annoying!" Sakura huffed, taking her seat again. "We won't finish at this rate if they keep interrupting."

"Then let's focus," Sasuke said.

With snacks and tea to fuel our minds, we powered through the rest of the report and ended up with three double-sided pages of extensive detail regarding the events of the mission. It was a pain to keep track of who was doing what considering we were almost always separated during the mission, but we managed to account for everything except for whatever happened at the barn on Kakashi's end.

 _I guess we'll find out tomorrow._

We gathered all out papers together and made sure no drafts or notes slipped in. Most of our time was spent figuring out how to write everything out linearly. After over four hours of work, we could finally relax.

I leaned back on my hands and sighed. "Man, I'm wiped. What time is it?"

"Almost two," Sakura said.

"Haa..." I groaned and fell onto my back. "I can barely move... Ne, can I crash here tonight?"

"What?! No!"

I made a whining sound and rolled onto my side to face her, arms sprawled out in disdain. "But I'm _tired_ , and we're all going to the same place tomorrow, anyway! Have mercy~"

"It takes you less than ten minutes to get home!" Sakura snapped. "Don't be such a hindrance."

I huffed. "C'mon, even Sasuke's tired."

"What do you mean?"

I nodded over towards Sasuke, who was leaning against Sakura's bed with this head towards his shoulder. Without a scowl on his face, I could see how young he was, and was suddenly reminded that soon his entire future would rest entirely in my hands.

 _No pressure, though_.

I blinked back at Sakura expectantly. She relented with a sigh. "Alright, alright. I guess it's been a long day for all of us. I'll go tell my parents that I'm using the futons."

I pumped my fist into the air and grinned. "I'll help!"

It didn't take long to get ready for bed. The biggest struggle was quickly tucking Sasuke into a futon without stirring him awake, which naturally turned out to be impossible given that he was a trained shinobi and was more or less genetically engineered to be a light sleeper. Thankfully, he was drowsy enough that we convinced him to just spend the night. We were all passed out by 3am.

Kakashi didn't make any comments when we all showed up together, but he did give us a look. We handed in our reports and stood across from the Hokage, who reviewed them briefly.

Eventually, he set the reports down and blew out a long stream of smoke from his pipe as he looked back at us. "It seems like your team experienced several unpredicted setbacks, Kakashi. I'm glad you all made it back safely."

"My team proved themselves to be capable of working well under pressure." Kakashi said.

Hiruzen looked across the three of us and smiled fondly. "So it seems. They've adapted well to the life of a shinobi."

I flashed a smile, but kept my mouth shut. I wasn't exactly sure how these kinds of proceedings were supposed to go, and really all I wanted was for the situation to be over with so I could deliver Shino's letter.

"The mission involved village-level concerns and suppressing shinobi-level forces," Hiruzen continued, "so your mission will be recorded as an A-Rank. You'll also be paid accordingly."

"An A-Rank?!" Sakura gasped, looking as dumbfounded as I did. Even Sasuke was looking shocked at the news. We knew we were going to get compensated, but for it to go all the way up to an A-Rank was almost laughable. How the hell did we make it back alive from an _A-Ranked mission_?

"Holy _shit_ ," I said. "Seriously? How much is an A-Rank even worth?!"

Hiruzen laughed and puffed his pipe. "I'll have to determine the exact payment later, but you'll all be paid at least 150 000 ryo each."

"What?!" I jumped on the spot, this time grabbing Sasuke and Sakura by the arms as I looked between them. "That's so much money I don't even know what it means! How much ramen can I buy with that much money?"

"Too much for it to be healthy," Kakashi answered. He set his hand on my head in attempted to get me to stay put, but all it did was give me a chance to grab his hand instead and swing it around in excitement. He sighed, but ultimately did nothing about it. "Make sure you save some, at least."

"Man, we're so cool," I said, finally releasing Kakashi. "I can't believe our first mission outside the village was an _A-Rank._ We freaking took down a drug cartel!"

Sakura looked annoyed, but the glint in her eye told me she felt the same. Sasuke had already moved on to looking proud of himself, and honestly, who could blame him? Sure, Kakashi carried the team, but we still held our own pretty damn well despite getting drugged, separated, and almost set on fire. Sasuke got Tadashi and Miyako to cooperate with us by figuring out why they were working for Sagi, Sakura learned how to walk on water and barrelled through a burning shed to save Sasuke, and I didn't die!

"I take it you're ready to take on more C-Rank missions after this, then?" Hiruzen asked with a sort of teasing smile.

My excitement dropped and I laughed wearily. "Aha...maybe give it a couple of weeks?"

He laughed in turn and addressed Kakashi again. "I think you and your team deserve a break. This is all for now - you can expect your payments to arrive in the next few days. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"

"There is," Kakashi said plainly before side-eying us. "Although it's regarding certain individuals in the capital, so the three of you should go on, first."

"Isn't it important for us to be here for this, too?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi patted his head, which Sasuke brushed off with an annoyed glare. "This is a little more complex, and a little beyond your security clearance."

 _And a little too much about a certain dead relative of yours,_ I added silently.

"I don't wanna hear about more politics, anyway," I said, resting my hands behind my head. "I've had more than enough of that, thank you very much. Besides, we still need to deliver the letters to Shino."

"I'm _not_ going with you," Sakura said flatly, making a face. "He's so…creepy."

"He's just quiet," I said.

"He's covered in _bugs._ "

"They live inside him," Sasuke corrected.

A visible chill went down Sakura's back. "That's even _more_ gross!"

"In any case," Kakashi interjected. "I need to talk to Hokage-sama alone. We'll meet in the training field tomorrow morning, so don't be late."

"You're one to talk," I said, rolling my eyes.

The three of us left full of curiosity, but it wasn't like we'd get away with eavesdropping on the conversation, so we went our separate ways.

It was a good thing I could understand the address written on the letters, otherwise I would've had no idea how to find Shino's house. At least, not without awkwardly asking about the residence of the Aburame Head, which feels suspicious even if his son was my former classmate.

After confirming the address, I knocked on the door twice and patiently waited until it opened. I came face to face with none other than Shino, with his dark shades and poofy hair and raised collar.

"Satoko-san," he greeted flatly.

I flashed a smile and waved. "Hey! Long time no see!"

"I agree," he answered. "I'm surprised to see you here. Why? Because a personal visit is unexpected from an acquaintance like you."

"Totally fair, but hold that thought" I said, digging the letters out of my pocket. They were a little wrinkled by then, but not so much that it looked like I wasn't at least trying to take care of them. "I'm here to make a delivery! My team went to the capital on our last mission, and we just happened to meet your mom! She asked us to give these to you and your dad."

Shino tensed when I mentioned the letters, although I wasn't sure why. Then again, Shino was always a little socially reserved. He probably didn't like people getting involved with his personal life, even if it was just as a courier between him and his mother. The letters looked personal, too - now that I was holding them backside up, I saw that Jinguu left a kiss mark on one of the envelopes.

We both looked up and made eye-contact through his shades, and I laughed sheepishly. "Your mother sure is a romantic, huh!"

Shino held the letters against his chest and nodded stiffly. "She's very forward. Thank you for delivering these letters. I apologize on behalf of my mother for causing you trouble."

"No worries! Let me know if you ever need anything. I'm always happy to help," I said with a grin.

There was a brief pause, and I wondered if maybe I'd said something wrong. In retrospect, it really was weird for me to make a delivery. I probably should have passed them on to Kiba or Hinata, instead.

Shino looked me up and down and finally said, "You've changed."

I blinked. "Have I?"

"Yes." Shino was rather blunt, I observed. Not that it took much observing to notice. "Why? Because you never used to be this friendly with me, even though we were classmates for several years during the Academy and continue to be comrades as shinobi of Konoha."

"Ah, I guess that's true..." I laughed nervously. _Stupid Protagonist ruining literally everything he comes into contact with. Augh._ I continued brightly, "Then, yeah! I have changed! I was wrong to ignore you. I didn't know better. But now it's different! I'm a genin, and I just finished my first C-Rank mission." I stuck out my hand and offered a handshake. "I hope we can get along from now on. It's like you said, we're both Konoha genin, so we've gotta have each other's backs. From now on, consider me your friend!"

Shino stared at me for along moment again. Despite the tense atmosphere between us, he relaxed his shoulders and returned the handshake.

"Thank you. I'm glad you came by. Why? Because it has given us an opportunity to strengthen our bond as comrades." I couldn't see his mouth, but I liked to think that he was smiling underneath that big collar of his.

"No problem! Then I'll see you around, Shino. Let's grab lunch sometime!"

After waving goodbye and parting ways, I jogged down the block until Shino's house was out of sight before slowing to a walk. I was still stuck on the bizarre yet pleasant exchange I'd just had. Is it supposed to be that easy to get on good terms with someone? If so, _what the hell was wrong with all my teammates?_

"I just wanna be friends," I sighed to myself.

 _Ah, well._ After that chaotic mission and a forced sleepover, I liked to think we'd gotten at least two steps closer in our relationships.

Just like we were told, my teammates and I showed up bright and early at the training field the next day. And just like I expected, Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. What I didn't expect for him to not show up at all.

Instead, we were struck by a sudden gust of wind that nearly knocked me off my feet. When I turned around, I was greeted by the blindingly bright light...of Gai-sensei's smile.

"GOOD MORNING, KAKASHI-SAN'S BELOVED TEAM! Are you ready to begin the day with a refreshing 500 laps around the village?!"

Gai's genin were standing behind him. As expected, Lee was already doing stretches and jogging on the spot while Tenten looked simultaneously apologetic and embarrassed that she was associated with her sensei at all. Neji had a similarly embarrassed look in his eye, although he covered it up by wearing his usual grumpy frown and avoiding eye contact with literally anybody.

I looked back at my teammates, who returned the same speechless, confused stare of mild horror as I had, before looking back at Gai.

"Uh...no?"

As I looked dumbfounded at the spandex-clad man, I could only think of one thing: what the hell happened to Kakashi after we left?

* * *

 **Author's Note** : I'm going to try to take a new approach to writing my chapters, in that I'm gonna write whatever the FUCK I want, HOWEVER the fuck I want, in as many words as I want, because otherwise I'll be stuck on details and fussing over plot lines WAY too much and the important part is that I have fun with what I'm writing.

Hopefully this will help me write chapters faster, because I really do wanna finish this story. I hope you all continue to enjoy yourselves reading, too!

Also, this chapter marks the beginning of the second arc!  
(FUCKING FINALLY. GOD. IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS.)

Thanks for reading!


	22. Ignite, the Sparks of Youth!

**Summary** : Training with Team Gai officially begins! Satoko has some feelings about it. Most of them is concern.

* * *

Of all the ways to start off the day, this was the last thing I expected. I stared blankly at Gai, who smiled back while posing with an enthusiastic thumbs up. Before we could question anything, though, Tenten scolded him from behind.

"Sensei, you can't start with 500 laps right away! We all passed out by 200 when you did that to us," she said, hands on her hips. "They need to be trained up to it, first."

 _I have so many problems with everything she just said._

"Ever wise, Tenten!" Gai said, looking over his shoulder to his student. "You make an excellent point. Thank you for bringing this to my attention! Change of plans, then - we will begin with 200 laps around the field!"

"That sounds doable," I said, still with a grimace. Even if 50 laps was a breeze to me now, I still didn't want to do 200 of them. Enhanced stamina didn't make laps any less boring. _Maybe that's the real reason behind Gai and Lee doing laps on their hands..._ "Wait, more importantly, why are you even here?!"

"Yeah, what happened to Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Excellent question!" Gai commended. "Kakashi has been unexpectedly assigned to an urgent task. He has thus asked me to train you in his stead until he returns!"

There was a lot more I wanted to ask about that, but questioning Gai would have to wait because Lee interrupted by rushing up next to Gai and greeting us with a bow. We instinctively bowed in turn.

"We look forward to training alongside you!" Lee said with gusto. He looked at Sakura afterwards and approached her directly. "You are Sakura-chan, correct?"

Sakura blinked. "Uh, yeah...?"

 _Oh boy. The Springtime of Youth. I can feel it already._

"Allow me to introduce myself once again! My name is Rock lee," he said. "Would you like to go out with me? I will protect you with my life!"

Sakura cringed, and I hid my laugh with a cough. "N...No thanks..."

"Don't bother her like that, Lee!" Tenten said, pulling him back as he deflated. "Sorry about him. We look forward to training with you today," she said, smiling at us.

"Likewise," I said with a smile. "I bet we can learn a lot from you."

Despite Lee's high-energy existence, I liked him. He was certainly a refreshing break from the gloomy likes of Sasuke and the bratty likes of Sakura. It helped that Tenten was sociable, too. The biggest obstacle would be working with Neji, who was hovering around the back of the group looking like a grouch, but at least even he had a higher capacity for being superficially polite. Probably.

"Such a youthful attitude! Let us begin our training at once!" Gai said, and broke out into a fast jog without giving us any time to ask any more questions about Kakashi.

I exchanged looks with Sasuke and Sakura. They both looked reluctant to participate, but we didn't really have a choice except to go along with it for now. Gai's team jogged after him, and we followed suit.

"Must be nice to have a punctual sensei," I muttered to my teammates.

"I'm surprised he's actually doing the warm up with us," Sakura added.

"Too bad he's so noisy," Sasuke said.

By the time we completed our laps, we were all sweaty and out of breath, so we recovered while stretching. We were all close enough that I could use the opportunity to ask Gai some questions.

"Gai-sensei," I started, getting his attention, "how long will Kakashi be away for?"

"It's a complex situation, so it could take quite some time, I believe," he answered with ease.

I paused mid-stretch and cocked my brow. "Some time?" I repeated.

"Does this have something to do with the capital?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei spoke to Hokage-sama privately after our debriefing yesterday, even though they had already spoken after we first returned the day before," Sakura pointed out. "Is something wrong?"

There was definitely a split second of hesitation before Gai laughed heartily. "Excellent observations! You truly are Kakashi-sensei's students!"

 _If there's one thing we've learned, it's how to look underneath the underneath, or whatever._

"Unfortunately I cannot give you any details, but it is indeed in relation to your last mission," Gai confirmed with a sage nod.

Sakura made an uncertain sound. "I hope it's nothing too serious... He's okay, right?"

"Fear not! It may be an urgent matter, but not a dangerous one. Your sensei will return safely in due time," Gai reassured. "I'll be sure to let him know that his precious students are thinking of him!"

"You're in contact with him?" Sasuke asked, his eyes narrowing skeptically.

There was no doubt that all three of us noticed the way Gai stiffened, jaw locked in a smile, before he covered his nervousness with a laugh.

"N-No, of course not! Because he's very busy with his very important mission!" The way he emphasized the mission made him even less credible. "What I meant is that I will give him a thorough report on your progress once he returns, so of course I will make sure your heartfelt sentiments reach him."

 _Some time, due time..._ Not only was he being careless with his implications, but Gai was being vague. If Kakashi was really on a mission, we should at least be given an approximate timeframe for how long it would take, especially if we were being put under the care of another jounin instead of killing time with a list of D-Ranks. I wasn't the only one reading into what Gai was saying, either.

"I guess that makes sense," I said, finally letting him off the hook. "Our mission left a huge political mess to clean up, so he's probably just dealing with that in person."

"Precisely!" Gai said, failing to hide the fact that he was obviously relieved that the conversation was over.

 _He_ really _isn't cut out for ANBU,_ I thought warily. Subtly wasn't even within the realm of his abilities if even _I_ could pick up on his tells.

I wasn't satisfied with Gai's explanation, but I didn't want to push it anymore, either. Judging by their doubtful silence, my teammates felt the same way. In their case, though, their reluctance to accept Gai as a substitute was probably more because they didn't want to be trained by him and less because they knew he was trying to cover for something, even if it was obvious that he wasn't telling the whole truth.

Vague explanation or not, it wasn't like we could really ask about it. I had to be careful about pushing the issue, too, since it was definitely about Obito's new identity as Hidari. The last thing I needed was to accidentally let it slip that I knew way more than I was supposed to.

We stretched for a few more minutes until Gai stood up straight with his hands on his hips.

"Now then! Since this is our first day training together, I would like to gauge your skill levels so I can determine what kind of exercises are appropriate for you," he said, looking at my team. "We will begin with some general assessments!"

"What should we do, Sensei?" Tenten asked, rolling back on her heels.

"You will be doing them as well, of course!"

Tenten slumped. "…Oh."

I glanced away and made a face. Even if she was being nice, I bet she like felt her team was losing precious training time, too, which was only fair.

"There's no need to worry, my precious students!" Gai reassured. "It is important for shinobi of all levels to review the basics regularly. Consider it an evaluation of how far you've come since you first graduated!"

"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed, punching the air. "Let us take advantage of this opportunity to see who has improved the most among us!"

"Your naiveté evidently hasn't, for starters," Neji said.

Gai laughed heartily at his team's banter. "I admire your enthusiasm! Now then, let us begin!"

The first few hours were spent reviewing some basic stuff. We went through basic ninjutsu, hit some targets, and practiced dodging and deflecting while Team Gai happily emptied their inventories on us. I got away with just a few cuts and scratches here and there, which would be healed by the time we were done training that day. Gai took notes the entire time, scribbling something down every now and then into a tiny notebook.

The one thing I noticed was that Gai never asked to see Sasuke's Fire Style or my clones.

 _Must be because of the Chuunin Exams._

Even if we were comrades and training together now, with the Exams so close, I guess even Gai didn't want us learning _everything_ about each other.

We finished by demonstrating our ability to run up trees.

"Sakura can walk on water, too!" I said once I was back on the ground.

"Most impressive!" Gai said, beaming at my teammate. "I'll be counting on you to aid your teammates in the future, then!"

Sakura rubbed the back of her neck and nodded. "Y-Yeah, sure thing."

"What a surprise," Neji said. "They're more behind than I thought."

His teammates promptly shot him a scolding look of varying degrees while Sakura and I pointedly stared down our own grouchy teammate from saying anything in return.

"We will finish with some friendly sparring!" Gai announced. I could've sworn he glanced at Neji on the word 'friendly.'

"If it's sparring, then I challenge you, Sasuke-kun!" Lee declared, pointing at him with enthusiasm. "I would like to test my techniques against the last surviving member of the legendary Uchiha Clan."

I exchanged uneasy glances with Sakura before sneaking a peak at Sasuke, whose expression looked darker. Ever since becoming a team, we'd never directly addressed the fact that he was the Uchiha Survivor; it had always been an elephant in the room, so for Lee to speak so boldly about it without hesitation was...unexpected, to say the least.

 _Man, some things are just apparently set in stone._

At least this time, their first spar would be in a friendly context instead of an overtly competitive one. And upon remembering their canon encounter, I only then realized something important.

 _Sasuke doesn't have the Sharingan anymore._

Thankfully, I was very good at hiding my panic at this point and kept a poker face, but it didn't change the fact that I was screaming inside. Did this mean Orochimaru wouldn't come for him anymore? Would Orochimaru even know? If he didn't activate it now, when's the next chance he'll get?

I lamented briefly over the idea of having to instigate an ideal Sharingan-activating situation myself, but quickly pushed it aside.

 _I better not have to fake my fucking death for this dude._

"You're challenging me while knowing of my bloodline?" Sasuke scoffed, bringing my attention back to the conversation at hand. "You must be clueless, then."

"Dude, be nice," I snapped, but it was already too late.

Neji glowered at Sasuke with his arms crossed, looking as hostile as ever. "It'll be interesting to see how this year's Number One Rookie fares against Lee."

I fidgeted, uncomfortable from the growing tension. It was hard to get a read on Neji - I couldn't tell if he was getting defensive on Lee's behalf or annoyed at Sasuke's arrogance, or both.

Sasuke looked ready to pick a fight with him, too, so I threw my arm into the air and shouted, "I wanna fight Tenten-senpai!"

"Me?" She pointed to herself, looking surprised at being chosen.

"Yeah, if that's okay," I said, dropping my hand and facing her. "You look super strong; I wanna test myself against you."

 _She's also the most likely to go easy on me out of goodwill._ I thought about the other people on her team, however, and sighed inwardly. _Not that I really expect her to._

Tenten's cheeks flushed, but she maintained an air of confidence. "Assuming you even last long enough in the first place," she said with a grin.

"It fills my heart with joy to see you all befriending each other!" Gai said, flashing a wider smile still. "Sakura will spar with Neji, then!"

 _Oh, I did not think this one through._

Admittedly, I got completely blind-sighted by hoping to see Tenten's kickass new sword up close. I looked at Sakura, who looked nervous, and Neji, who was already sizing her up and looking vastly unimpressed. He didn't say anything, though. He may be grumpy, but at least he was generally agreeable, unlike a certain other archetypal asshole.

 _Ah, well. I'm sure she'll be fine. It's not like she's Hinata or anything._

Prompted by Lee's enthusiasm, he and Sasuke were the first to spar. The rest of us took a seat by the training posts, attention entirely focused on them. Sakura looked a little restless - she was confident in Sasuke's abilities, but also not naive about the reality of Lee being the more experienced of the two. I, for one, knew that Sasuke was about to get his ass handed back to him by tenfold, and couldn't wait to see it happen with my own eyes. Without his Sharingan, he couldn't copy any of Lee's fancy techniques, either.

On the other hand, I was worried about how this might be more of an emotional blow to Sasuke. He was already feeling pretty low after the mission, what with getting shown up by Sakura and then being saved by her. Then again, Lee had very good sportsmanship, and Gai was nothing if not supportive. If there was anybody I would trust to do a good job of kicking Sasuke's ass while still being nice about it, it was Lee.

"Taijutsu only, no weapons," Gai said. He raised his arm and lowered it with a snap. "Begin!"

Before I could even blink, the distance was closed and Lee was already pressuring Sasuke into a defensive stance with a flurry of strikes before ending it by sending him flying back with a kick.

"Whoa," I murmured while Sakura cried out in shock.

Sasuke slid across the grass and recovered quickly, but he didn't fare much better in the second round. He didn't stand a chance even with the Sharingan, let alone without it. Lee was simply too fast - I could barely keep track of what he was even doing.

The match continued with Sasuke constantly pushing back against Lee in an attempt to counter. Watching them made me feel like there was no room to breathe and my eyes got sore trying to keep up - it was just one strike after another, without pause. Their movements were swift and quiet, but the sheer density of them made it feel loud.

 _It's like watching the visual equivalent of white noise._

Sasuke stumbled over his feet and just barely managed to catch himself in time to block a kick, but the match ultimately ended with Lee knocking him off his feet. Lee's hand was just a hair's width away from Sasuke's neck. Sasuke looked up at him with a mix of shock and annoyance. It all happened so fast that I could feel the air settle around them.

"Excellent!" Gai praised before the tension could become an uncomfortable silence. "What a spectacular display of prowess! You did well to hold up against Lee for that long, Sasuke. His taijutsu is unmatched among most genin."

Lee quickly got up from his stance and offered Sasuke a hand. "The Uchiha Clan truly is formidable! This has truly been an insightful learning experience!"

Sasuke responded as predicted - with a dismissive grunt and ignoring Lee's offer to help him up.

"You were great, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said in an attempt to make him feel better, although that also was left mostly ignored. If anything, it soured his mood even more.

"Don't patronize me," he muttered.

 _Yep. Definitely sour._

"Do not feel discouraged - there is only room for improvement in training!" Gai said, flashing us a grin. He was definitely practiced in diffusing tension with positivity. "Let's move on to Neji and Sakura. Take your places!"

Neji got up without a word and briskly took his place on the field. Sakura followed suit, noticeably uncertain about what to do. I've seen her spar before, and I've sparred with her myself. She wasn't bad and had gotten the upper hand on me several times both from my lack of experience and her superior technical skills, but I couldn't imagine she'd be anything worth Neji's time.

"There's no need to worry," Neji said calmly, taking his stance. "After witnessing the limits of your year's Number One, I'm keeping my expectations low."

"Hey! Don't forget that you used to be a rookie, too!" Sakura snapped, although she didn't have much else to say.

I got the impression that her response actually made Neji acknowledge her more, even if it was only by a bit. It at least changed his expression from disinterested to smug. Considering it was Neji, I took it as an improvement.

"Hmph. The way you are now, I could've defeated you even at the Academy."

I winced at the smack talk and glanced at Tenten, who sighed at her teammate's behaviour. Even worse was that he was totally right - Neji clearly had the upper hand the moment the battle began.

As far as I could tell, Sakura did an impressive job nevertheless. She defended herself with firm stances and precise blocks. In contrast, however, she didn't look as solid when she tried to counter and get on the offense.

It showed on her face, too. She'd wince and grit her teeth, and whenever she did manage to slip in a punch or a kick of her own, it looked weak, despite her accurate form. It was a lot like watching someone who didn't quite know the moves to a dance - she looked like she was watching someone else to remind herself what to do.

Her uncertainty made her fall a step behind, which gave Neji the opening to keep pressuring her to stay defensive until their sparring ultimately ended with Neji pulling her arm behind her back.

"An excellent use of technique and forms!" Gai said as Sakura was released. "Your mastery of the foundations will help you learn advanced maneuvers with ease."

Despite her loss, Sakura looked uplifted by the compliment. "Thanks!" She then turned to Neji and extended her hand with the Seal of Reconciliation, which Neji accepted silently.

 _Good to know not everybody's sour._

It was refreshing to see her get praised, but not at the expense of me or Sasuke. Kakashi doesn't acknowledge our strengths or progress as directly as Gai does, and when he does comment on it, it's usually in the form of creating a sense of competition. It was a decent tactic for getting us to take training exercises seriously, but not so much when it came to strengthening our teamwork.

 _Ironic, considering how he's known for preaching it._

Now that it was my turn to spar, the nerves made my hands jittery. I flexed them in an attempt to calm down and smiled wearily at Tenten.

"Any chance you'll go easy on me?"

She moved to stand up, smiling back at me. "But then how would you learn anything?"

I laughed nervously and followed after her.

 _Guess I'll die._

It was only when we were standing face to face that I remembered we weren't allowed weapons, which was the whole reason I wanted to fight her in the first place. Then again, it was probably for the better - I wasn't emotionally prepared to get attacked with a metallic slice of Swiss cheese.

 _...I wonder if they call it Swiss cheese in this world? Or maybe it's called like... Suna cheese, or something?_

I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I almost missed Gai giving the cue to start, which gave Tenten an edge that she really didn't need. Our sparring went pretty much as I expected.

I stumbled over myself in an attempt to get on the offense, but I couldn't get my thought process to cooperate with my body. One moment, it'd go through the motions that were ingrained into its muscle memory. The next, I'd be too afraid to get close to Tenten and risk getting injuries, even if it was just a friendly spar. The combined familiarity and unfamiliarity made it feel like learning to play a new instrument by keeping time with a broken metronome.

On the other hand, I never realized how much I had actually learned in just a few months of being here. My brain fired off commands without much thought. When Tenten went in for a kick, I instinctively twisted my body out of the way and struck her in the ribs. When she immediately countered by pivoting on one foot while swinging her other leg at me, I grabbed it tight and yanked hard, which nearly pulled her off her feet if it weren't for the fact that she used the momentum against me and knocked me over instead. I quickly bounced back onto my feet, and our spar continued.

I already knew that her skill level was way higher than mine, but it was a whole other thing to experience it first hand. Her strikes were precise and powerful, and guaranteed to leave me covered in bruises. I tried to use Kakashi's chakra training to give myself a burst of speed, but then it felt like I was losing control over my body so I pulled back again into a defensive stance. Just as I did, however, Tenten caught me by my ankle and I toppled over as she stood over me.

Most saliently, what I realized was that I had way more to catch up on than I thought. It had occurred to me before that taijutsu might not be my style, but now I was certain. I much preferred staying behind a wall of defence made of clones, where I could prepare a bomb to throw at my enemy from a distance.

It didn't help that Protagonist nothing _but_ a close-ranged fighter. And that he already had a lot of catching up to do.

"Splendid! Not only am I proud of my team for demonstrating their skills, I expected no less from Kakashi's team!" Gai said, standing before us with his hands on his hips.

"Not bad!" Tenten said as she helped me up.

"Thanks," I said, brushing myself off. "I don't think I wanna know what it's like to fight you with weapons."

Tenten laughed and clapped by shoulder. "It's way more fun, for starters!"

"Your sparring has provided me with great insight into how we should proceed from here," Gai said once we sat down. "But first, lunch!"

Right when he called for a lunch break, Gai disappeared to prepare some stuff for the second half of training, leaving us genin to eat by the training posts. I finished eating quickly because I decided I couldn't wait any longer - I just had to know what happened on their mission. Namely, I had to get a damn good look at Tenten's sword.

"Ne," I said, shuffling over to her with my bento in hand. "What happened to your sword from the other day?" I gasped as a sudden, horrible realization dawned upon me, and quickly followed up with, "It wasn't confiscated, was it?!"

Tenten laughed and shook her head. "Thankfully, no. I have it right here, actually! Wanna see?"

I stared at her wide-eyed, my leg immediately bouncing in excitement. "YES."

Tenten beamed. She quickly set her lunch aside and pulled out a scroll from her pack. "You might want to move back a bit."

I scooted back a couple of feet and watched with anticipation as Tenten opened her scroll and placed her hand on one of the seals. There was a small flicker of chakra in the air, followed by a puff of smoke, and the sword materialized instantly in her hands.

"Holy _shit_ ," I gasped, staring in awe as the sun caught the blade, highlighting its sharpened edge.

 _I am SO glad we didn't have to fight against that thing._

Sagi was a huge pain in the ass and I wasn't particularly _fond_ of the mission, but at least her forces were disabled ex-shinobi as opposed to lethal, S-Ranked nukenin with a sword longer than I was tall that was literally designed for decapitation.

"Neat, huh," Tenten grinned, running her hand down the blunt edge. "I'll have to do some strength training before I can try wielding it, though."

"No kidding," I said, still floored by the sheer size of the thing.

"Satoko, don't bother her!" Sakura scolded, coming over just to nudge my ribs. "You don't have to humour her - just ignore her."

Tenten waved her hand in front of her face and shook her head. "No worries! I love showing off my weapons, especially when it's loot." There was a glint in her eye that told us she meant it, not that I needed convincing.

"Yes! Tenten's weaponry skills are the best amongst all of us," Lee said, chiming in from next to her. "She is most worthy of wielding the mighty weapon of our fallen enemy!"

"Cut it out, Lee," she scolded, although it hardly looked like she meant it.

"We got some cool weapons from our mission, too, but they're way less menacing," I said. "And more subtle."

Tenten set her sword down and listened with a piqued interest. "Oh? What kind?"

"They're weapons disguised as instruments," Sakura explained, paused, and then reiterated. "Actually, I guess it's more accurate to say that they're instruments modified to conceal weapons."

"That sounds so cool! I'd love to see them sometime," Tenten said.

"Sure thing! We all got one," I said, briefly glancing towards Sasuke. He was sitting farther away, pointedly avoiding eye-contact so he could eat his lunch in peace. _Lame_.

"Is this a sealing scroll?" Sakura asked, looking at the scroll that was opened next to the sword.

"Yeah, I made it myself," Tenten said, looking proud. "I use them because of my fighting style, but they're really handy for travelling, too. I have one just for medical and emergency supplies."

"Yourself?" Sakura repeated, looking impressed. "They're so clean! I remember trying to make a basic seal in the Academy, and even that was difficult on its own."

"Man, you're so cool," I said, blinking between her and the scroll.

Tenten grinned, rubbing the back of her neck. "Thanks! It comes with practice."

"How do you make it?"

"Mostly it's the writing," she explained, "but the ink is special, too. You need a kind that's infused with chakra. The paper matters, too, but mostly when it comes to more complex seals. For basic stuff like this, standard scrolls are fine."

As she spoke, I leaned across Sakura to get a closer look and blatantly ignored her protests as I did.

I recognized some characters, like the basic ones that indicated what kind of object was sealed - it was just various types of weapons, go figure - but all the smaller characters surrounding the main ones seemed to be written in an older script that I was unfamiliar with.

"What does the paper have to do with-" I started, but before I could finish, Gai interrupted with his high-energy presence and ever-youthful voice.

"It is most heartwarming to see you all interacting harmoniously, but it is time to resume our training!"

"Aw, man," I huffed, getting back onto my feet. "Can you show me more of your stuff next time?"

"I'd be happy to," Tenten said, sealing her sword away again. "It's nice to have people asking about it, unlike _some_ people," she said, very obviously looking at Neji.

"I don't ask questions because I already know how it works," he retorted, calmly packing his lunch away.

"He's such a buzzkill," Tenten murmured to us behind her hand.

I nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I guess every team has a grouch."

Tenten stifled a laugh while Sakura smacked my shoulder, and with that, we went back to training.

All things considered, I felt pretty good about the joint training so far. Sure, we had some conflicts with personalities, but Gai was clearly used to managing it, so it at least never got out of hand the way if often did when it was just between my team.

"Now that I have a better understanding of your abilities, we will move on to more exciting exercises!" Gai announced.

 _Uh oh. Define "exciting."_

"I will begin with you, Sasuke!"

His pointed at Sasuke, who visibly flinched and leaned away. I hid my face behind my arms to hide my laughter.

"Already, you are an exceptional shinobi indeed, and full of confidence! But," Gai said, holding up a finger, "that confidence can lead to hasty decisions that will put you and your teammates at risk. We will work on your timing - instead of constantly pushing to gain the upper hand, sometimes what you need is to wait for the right moment to strike."

Sasuke didn't say anything in return. He looked annoyed, but he at least nodded in acknowledgement of Gai's input.

"To do so, you will train with Tenten! She has a mastery over various weapons and has exceptional accuracy and precision. I am confident that she will be able to aid you in finding the right moment to strike!"

I thought back to the flour bomb incident during the mission and nodded to myself. It admittedly wasn't entirely his fault, but despite his generally cool demeanour, Sasuke did have a tendency to rush into things.

"Your weaknesses stem from the complete opposite, Sakura," Gai said, turning his attention to a wary kunoichi. "Your extensive knowledge of shinobi matters shines in your technique, but you lack the confidence to reach your full potential. Your movements are clean, but hesitant. You cannot be afraid to make mistakes, otherwise you will never have the opportunity to learn from them."

"I guess so," Sakura nodded, looking somewhat embarrassed at having those characteristics pointed out.

Despite only having seen her fighting for a few minutes, it seemed to me that Gai's assessment was pretty accurate. Sakura was bold by nature - in canon, she readily defended Tazuna when they first got ambushed by Zabuza, and now I've witnessed it with my own eyes when she escaped with Takara on her back - but her self-consciousness and fears got in the way of following through with her decisions.

Not that I was one to talk, of course. The image of the assassins attacking would be forever imprinted into my memory.

 _Until the next attack overwrites them, probably._

Gai continued with as much gusto as ever. "Such is why you will train with my beloved Lee!"

Sakura was nodding along up until that moment, after which she was tense and nodded stiffly. "Haha… great…"

"There is no need to worry! Lee is a master of taijutsu - he will help build up your strength in no time!"

 _At least one of them looks excited,_ I thought, glancing between the two.

"What gives you the most trouble is your inability to decide, Satoko," Gai said, looking thoughtful as he spoke. "At times, you attack with confidence and assuredness, but in the next moment, you retreat and keep your distance. It's almost as though you're two minds arguing over what to do."

I laughed wearily. _Isn't that a little too on the nose?_

"I will take this opportunity to improve on your commitment to one strategy. Although it's good to keep many options in mind, it's no good to keep changing your mind in the middle of a battle. Otherwise, your opponent will use it against you and catch you off guard."

Tenten flashed me a smile at that, and I gave her a sheepish one in return. "Thanks, I'll work on that," I said, looking up at Gai.

"And Neji will help you!" he said. "Neji is well-practiced in the art of utilizing his skills when it is most advantageous. He can help you evaluate which type of approach is best in what situations so that you may gain confidence in your decisions and see them through."

I looked over at Neji, who looked neutral at best.

 _Ah, well I was gonna have to deal with him sooner or later._

It was kind of surreal how quickly and effectively Gai reached these conclusions. It wasn't anything too detailed, but his goals were certainly personalized for all three of us. It felt bad to think about, but we got more insight into our strengths and weaknesses in those few minutes than Kakashi had ever given us in the past few months.

No wonder Team Gai worked so well together, and why he was perfect for Kakashi - Gai was a damn genius at figuring out exactly what he needs to do to help those around him.

It occurred to me just then that, whether he was aware of this skill or not, Gai was terrifyingly good at reading people. If it weren't for his personality, he would've been great for intel. Then again, his personality is exactly what makes him suitable for teaching.

 _And being Kakashi's best friend._

Man. What a guy.

Gai clapped his hands together and smiled brightly at us. "Now then, let us begin!"

Each of us was assigned to a task specific to what Gai wanted us to work on. Sasuke's task was to use a single kunai to break a row of swinging targets made of paper. The idea was to wait until they were aligned so that the kunai would fly through all the targets in a row. Tenten was supposed to give him pointers while working on her own precision.

Lee was still openly excited to help Sakura with strength training. I think what Gai wanted was for Sakura to first get used to the idea of breaking and hitting things with all her strength, so it was pretty straightforward training that involved…breaking and hitting things. Considering how she turned out after the timeskip, I was confident in her potential for progress.

 _She never has any qualms about hitting me with full force, though._

Working with Neji was…an experience. More than anything else, it was tense and awkward. Gai told us to alternate between executing offensive and evasive maneuvers so that I could practice using only one at a time, but the first few moments were spent standing face to face in an uncomfortable silence.

"So, uh…" I glanced between him and the grass next to him, unsure of where to start. "I guess I'll start with evading?"

"It makes no difference to me," Neji said, already getting into stance.

I followed suit, albeit with much more anxiety, and went at it.

I never thought I was particularly bad, but Neji moved with sort of grace that I quickly learned that I couldn't even compare to. I knew in my head which steps to take, but my body wouldn't always move according to plan, and I often ended up taking more steps than necessary to get from point A to point B.

"Make your stance wider," he said simply.

Other times, I'd end up locked in place because I was too tense, or because I was trying to maneuver myself in a way that just didn't make sense.

"Lead with your right leg."

He continued to make short comments now and then, which I'd follow as best I could. Just as I thought I was getting the hang of it, I stumbled over my feet when trying to pivot out of the way.

Neji clicked his tongue and looked me up and down in disapproval. "With that kind of sloppy footwork, you should be going over your kata instead."

Before I could say anything in return, Gai materialized next to us and smiled down at him. "Excellent proposal, Neji! You can begin by helping Satoko review the basic sets."

"I didn't mean-"

"I will let you judge when she is ready to move on to other sets!"

He rushed off to check in with the other pairs before Neji could try and argue, leaving him scowling where Gai once stood. I looked away and refrained from laughing.

"For what it's worth, I'm pretty good at kata," I said with a meek smile.

Neji rolled his eyes. "That doesn't mean much, coming from you."

I huffed. "See, now that's just mean."

I became so engrossed in doing kata that I didn't even realize the sun was setting, marking the end of our training for the day. After the chaos of the caravan mission, it was nice to have a recap on the basics. It felt like I'd forgotten everything I knew during those few moments of real battle, so hitting a few targets and putting my body through the motions reassured me that I still had the capacity for ninja business.

After we finished the last of our kata, Gai called us over for a final debriefing.

"Excellent work today, everyone! We will continue tomorrow. Rest well, for we will start bright and early as usual!"

"How early is early, exactly?" I asked, hesitant to know the answer.

"We rise with the sun, so that we may take full advantage of the daylight!" Lee explained brightly.

I grimaced and looked at the sky, watching the sun setting behind the trees. "Well, I guess it's not like we have anything else to do."

 _Although I should start sending my clones to research stuff again. And maybe buy some groceries._

"You get used to it," Tenten said, patting my back. "Eventually."

"No need to fret - the longer you absorb the warmth of the sun, the more energy you will have to train!" Gai said, giving us a thumbs up.

"Does he think we're plants?" Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"He certainly dresses like it," Sakura whispered back.

"Well then, I must take my leave. Have a wonderful evening, everyone!" And with that, Gai ran off into the distance and presumably directly to wherever the hell Kakashi was.

 _Hopefully, anyway._

"Sakura-chan!" Lee exclaimed, bouncing up to her once his sensei left. "It is getting dark. Would you like me to walk you home?"

Sakura took a step back and held her hands up, gesturing for him to keep his distance. "Uh, no thank you. I'm fine," she said, smiling stiffly. "I walk home alone all the time."

"Unacceptable! I insist on keeping you company!"

"Sorry, Lee. Sakura-chan and I made plans to buy groceries together on the way home today," I said, wrapping my arm around her neck. "Right, Sakura?"

"T-That's right!" she said, nodding furiously. "We live in the same area, so it's convenient."

"Oh, I see!" Lee accepted the excuse immediately and thankfully backed off. "I wouldn't want to intrude in your team bonding."

"No problem, you didn't know," I said with a polite smile.

I was lying, of course. It wasn't like I thought Lee was going to harm her - he obviously wouldn't - but he was still evidently making Sakura uncomfortable, and as much as I thought Lee was a way better guy than Sasuke, he could definitely stand to learn a thing or two about boundaries. Despite his good intentions, he could be very overwhelming.

 _Doesn't take very long to learn that he usually is._

"Anyway, we should get going. You're coming too, Bastard!" I said, hooking my arm around Sasuke's before he could escape.

"What the- let go!"

"Bye!" Tenten said, waving as she and her team left in the opposite direction.

"I look forward to training with you tomorrow, Sakura-chan!" Lee called.

"Walk faster!" she hissed to us in disgust, pulling me - and subsequently, Sasuke - along with her. She let us go only when we exited the field and we were well out of earshot. "He's so gross! I can't believe we have to train with him until Kakashi comes back."

"They're challenging opponents," Sasuke said, yanking his arm out of my grip. "Annoying, thought."

I put my hands in my pocket and shrugged. "At least they're nice," I said, and immediately felt the questionable stares from my teammates as we all definitely thought about Neji at the same time. "For the most part," I added, glancing at Sasuke. "And at least Neji can _act_ polite."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, glowering at me.

"It means you're a bastard, Bastard," I said, sticking my tongue out at him, to which he retaliated by jabbing my side. "Well, it doesn't matter. It's only until Kakashi-sensei comes back, anyway."

"Then he'd better come back soon."

"Yeah," Sakura sighed. "I hope it doesn't take too long to sort things out."

I nodded, but kept quiet, knowing full well that it wasn't exactly the case.

I could only imagine how Kakashi was feeling about learning that Obito's alive. Shock was certainly one emotion. Disbelief, maybe. But was he angry? Did he feel betrayed? Relieved? Happy?

 _Did he cry?_

The conversations he had with the Hokage only implied how serious the situation was. I didn't know how these types of situations were usually handled, or if there'd ever even been one like this before, but for Kakashi to speak with the Hokage about it two days in a row and then go AWOL immediately afterwards certainly raised some flags.

I sighed to myself and shook my head. No matter how Kakashi was dealing with it, all I could do was silently count on Gai to support him until he was ready to come back.

* * *

 **After credit scene** : Satoko dragging Sasuke and Sakura along to buy groceries. Sakura ends up grabbing some stuff that's running out at home. Satoko jokingly gifts Sasuke a single tomato. He complains about it, but takes it home anyway because he doesn't want to waste food.

Someone reviewed specifically about the ACCs, I'm touched and flattered that they were acknowledged LOL. I include them whenever I can, but some chapter endings make a post-credits scene feel weird, which is why not all chapters have them. It's also why the last few chapters of the caravan arc didn't have any, since in terms of timeline, the ending of one chapter and the beginning of the next were pretty much back to back, so having an ACC wouldn't make sense in terms of the time it'd take.

Thanks for reading!


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